Emigrating?

[Lady_H]

I lived in the US for 7 years but came back to the UK after the birth of my Son. If you have no ties then go for it, if you can move away then you can move back just as easily, honestly, I've sold my furniture about 5 times so far. I love the UK in the Summer and as my mortgage finishes in June I'm hoping to find a way to be in the Caribbean in the winter from now on. My only warning is that if you do move abroad it's very likely that for the rest of your ife you will be torn. There's pros and cons to everything. Oz and Nz aren't on my radar as too far.

That’s a very wise post. I had exactly the same type of experience. I moved to the US for 10 years. I remember very well that feeling of “I can’t stand being here in the U.K. any more”! It was a great experience to be away, and there also came a time when it was right to come back. And I really appreciate the U.K. now in ways I didn’t before.

I totally agree that moving abroad can result in a feeling of being torn for the rest of your life in ways you can’t predict, and in my experience that feeling increases the older you get. Having children certainly changes and complicates things a lot as far as that is concerned.

Overall I’d say that the experience broadens your mind… but then you have to live with a broadened mind! And there will always be comparisons you can make about how great things are elsewhere that are not necessarily based in reality. Hard to explain really.

 

[sasuss]

I've got a friend that's moved out to the States, her children are 14, 13, 10 and 9. Her husband works in the Airline industry and she worked with young children. Was working for a while as a kindergarten teacher but has just got her realtor's license. They absolutely love it, they've just bought a house in New Jersey and are about 45 minutes from New York. She says she regrets not taking the plunge earlier and there's no way they'd ever move back to the UK.

She doesn't really have many ties here though, had a crappy childhood, her parents gave her up for adoption, adoptive parents passed away when she was only 9, then was just in and out of foster homes. The first bit of stability was probably her meeting her husband and then them starting a family. She's such a great mum/woman so happy for her as she deserves all the happiness in the world. Don't think I could do it myself though, first and foremost guns and gun crime scares the life out of me.

 

[Notworthy]

I've got a friend that's moved out to the States, her children are 14, 13, 10 and 9. Her husband works in the Airline industry and she worked with young children. Was working for a while as a kindergarten teacher but has just got her realtor's license. They absolutely love it, they've just bought a house in New Jersey and are about 45 minutes from New York. She says she regrets not taking the plunge earlier and there's no way they'd ever move back to the UK.

She doesn't really have many ties here though, had a crappy childhood, her parents gave her up for adoption, adoptive parents passed away when she was only 9, then was just in and out of foster homes. The first bit of stability was probably her meeting her husband and then them starting a family. She's such a great mum/woman so happy for her as she deserves all the happiness in the world. Don't think I could do it myself though, first and foremost guns and gun crime scares the life out of me.

I'd like to say that guns and crime wouldn't affect you but living in Miami I had experiences involving guns and my poor brother was only there for a month and found himself in the middle of a shootout on Biscayne Bridge. I was held up at gunpoint in Hollywood Florida at 6.30pm walking home from Dinner with my then 3 year old Son (I spent 7 years in Miami then 4 years backwards and forwards trying to decide where to settle while completing my degree)

 

[Geranium]

My sister in law and her family moved to NZ fifteen years ago and really regret it.
They are always complaining about the cost of living. The summers are too humid, the winters too wet. Random things they miss are the footpaths everywhere in the UK, the shops, the history.
They both work long hours and have long commutes. They say they are sick of people talking about the scenery as they say the novelty of lovely scenery soon wears off.
But their biggest regret is being so far from family and that has intensified over the years. The time difference makes even zoom catch ups tricky to organise and with elderly folk almost impossible.
She works in healthcare he is a solicitor.
They do have a lovely house but they say (he used to be a builder) that the standards of construction for homes is surprisingly poor.)
I’ve never been to NZ so these are not my observations by the way!
They emigrated in their late 40s.

 

[Warpaint]

My sister in law and her family moved to NZ fifteen years ago and really regret it.
They are always complaining about the cost of living. The summers are too humid, the winters too wet. Random things they miss are the footpaths everywhere in the UK, the shops, the history.
They both work long hours and have long commutes. They say they are sick of people talking about the scenery as they say the novelty of lovely scenery soon wears off.
But their biggest regret is being so far from family and that has intensified over the years. The time difference makes even zoom catch ups tricky to organise and with elderly folk almost impossible.
She works in healthcare he is a solicitor.
They do have a lovely house but they say (he used to be a builder) that the standards of construction for homes is surprisingly poor.)
I’ve never been to NZ so these are not my observations by the way!
They emigrated in their late 40s.

I found NZ lacked culture generally. It was a weird mix of British and American. Then the Maoris kind of shoved to the side. It felt like 20 years behind the UK in everything. I can imagine it would get quite boring to live there for long period of time. I did 7 months and came back.

This is all just my perception and opinion of course!

 

[Lady_H]

Everyone is so different aren’t they. I do think people think that moving to NZ or Aus in particular is going to solve all their problems / boredom / being fed up with the weather / not knowing what to do with their life. It doesn’t, if anything it creates more complications particularly if you’re close with your family and have kids there. But that definitely doesn’t mean it isn’t a good thing to do or you shouldn’t give it a go! If nothing else you’ll find out that the U.K. either is or isn’t as bad as you’d thought.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Everyone is so different aren’t they. I do think people think that moving to NZ or Aus in particular is going to solve all their problems / boredom / being fed up with the weather / not knowing what to do with their life. It doesn’t, if anything it creates more complications particularly if you’re close with your family and have kids there. But that definitely doesn’t mean it isn’t a good thing to do or you shouldn’t give it a go! If nothing else you’ll find out that the U.K. either is or isn’t as bad as you’d thought.

I think it’s the dream of abandoning everything and starting afresh to is a major draw when considering emigrating. I think lockdown has made everyone reevaluate what they are doing with their lives and consider what needs changing.

As you say though, the grass isn’t always greener!

 

[Geranium]

I found NZ lacked culture generally. It was a weird mix of British and American. Then the Maoris kind of shoved to the side. It felt like 20 years behind the UK in everything. I can imagine it would get quite boring to live there for long period of time. I did 7 months and came back.

This is all just my perception and opinion of course!

Yes, that’s another thing my SIL said. Unfortunately their daughters who were about 10 and 8 never really settled and pined like crazy for the UK.
A couple of years before they emigrated they had moved to a lovely village near a very nice town. Their house was beautiful and the girls loved their little village school. And suddenly out of nowhere the emigration plan was announced.

 

[barmcake]

I retired to Turkey. All big white friendly smiles and lovely weather at first. The honeymoon period lasted about a year. Soon realised that away from the tourist area:

Any women alone is considered a bleep (my neighbour used to follow me saying 'fucky fucky madam, madam fucky fucky')
terrible animal abuse;
cold winters and everything shut;
ex-pats gossiping and getting drunk because laying on a beach gets boring after a year or two;
just smiling at a Turkish man means you want to marry them;
many older ladies getting their life savings or property stolen by lover boys.

I could go on but think Australia or New Zealand would be great choice. I would always recommend spending 6 months renting before committing.

 

[Onecandream]

I retired to Turkey. All big white friendly smiles and lovely weather at first. The honeymoon period lasted about a year. Soon realised that away from the tourist area:

Any women alone is considered a bleep (my neighbour used to follow me saying 'fucky fucky madam, madam fucky fucky')
terrible animal abuse;
cold winters and everything shut;
ex-pats gossiping and getting drunk because laying on a beach gets boring after a year or two;
just smiling at a Turkish man means you want to marry them;
many older ladies getting their life savings or property stolen by lover boys.

I could go on but think Australia or New Zealand would be great choice. I would always recommend spending 6 months renting before committing.

Interesting.
Did you stay or return?

 

[barmcake]

I sold my flat and came back. Inspite of the bad experience I would do it again if I was younger, but somewhere different.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

I sold my flat and came back. Inspite of the bad experience I would do it again if I was younger, but somewhere different.

Where would you go and what’s influencing your decision on where to go next?

 

[Littleelf]

My dad has been in NZ for 5years now and he loves it and says he will never come back.

He does say the cost of living is pretty high though, but I think for him the lifestyle he now has compared to back in the UK outweighs it. He is a very outdoorsy guy and so spends his weekends surfing, skiing, walking, biking, canoeing and loads more. For him that is the dream to do that, and he couldn't do it in the uk really.

For me the distance is too much, he has never met his grandkids other than over video call which I know upsets him. But its too far to go without it being a big planned trip, and now we have young children its not something we will be considering for quite a few years until they are older.

I suppose everyone is different and each country is different too...I am fed up of the uk and am really starting to hate the way this country is run. But just not so sure I'd want to live anywhere else

 

[Lady_H]

My dad has been in NZ for 5years now and he loves it and says he will never come back.

He does say the cost of living is pretty high though, but I think for him the lifestyle he now has compared to back in the UK outweighs it. He is a very outdoorsy guy and so spends his weekends surfing, skiing, walking, biking, canoeing and loads more. For him that is the dream to do that, and he couldn't do it in the uk really.

For me the distance is too much, he has never met his grandkids other than over video call which I know upsets him. But its too far to go without it being a big planned trip, and now we have young children its not something we will be considering for quite a few years until they are older.

I suppose everyone is different and each country is different too...I am fed up of the uk and am really starting to hate the way this country is run. But just not so sure I'd want to live anywhere else

That’s interesting your dad moved away, was there a reason he decided to go when he did?

It’s doubly hard when you are the one to have kids abroad, there is a lot of guilt about the long distance away from “home” and family. Well for some people anyway. I guess it depends on your relationship with your family of origin.

It’s weird the way life works, some people are absolutely desperate to get into the U.K! There is so much here to appreciate but I absolutely know that sometimes you need to get away to see that.

I sold my flat and came back. Inspite of the bad experience I would do it again if I was younger, but somewhere different.

Good for you, that’s quite an undertaking! And it takes courage and determination to see when something isn’t working and fix it especially when international moves are concerned.

 

[barmcake]

Where would you go and what’s influencing your decision on where to go next?

I feel too old to make a big move now. My sister lived in Goa for 29 years. She took £35,000 with her and managed to live like a queen for 34 years on that money. Her flat was £80 a month and meals cost £1 at the local beach cafe. I spent 6 months there and loved never feeling cold and the lively atmosphere. I met lots of people that were stuck there though, as they were unable to meet the cost of coming back. Many ragged 60s hippies who had grown old there. Would probably go there.

My dad has been in NZ for 5years now and he loves it and says he will never come back.

He does say the cost of living is pretty high though, but I think for him the lifestyle he now has compared to back in the UK outweighs it. He is a very outdoorsy guy and so spends his weekends surfing, skiing, walking, biking, canoeing and loads more. For him that is the dream to do that, and he couldn't do it in the uk really.

For me the distance is too much, he has never met his grandkids other than over video call which I know upsets him. But its too far to go without it being a big planned trip, and now we have young children its not something we will be considering for quite a few years until they are older.

I suppose everyone is different and each country is different too...I am fed up of the uk and am really starting to hate the way this country is run. But just not so sure I'd want to live anywhere else

I think NZ is ideal those that love the outdoors and crave space. I think we all get that fed up feeling by the end of February. The cold and damp, not to mention all the other disasters.

Yes, that’s another thing my SIL said. Unfortunately their daughters who were about 10 and 8 never really settled and pined like crazy for the UK.
A couple of years before they emigrated they had moved to a lovely village near a very nice town. Their house was beautiful and the girls loved their little village school. And suddenly out of nowhere the emigration plan was announced.

Culture is something we take for granted in this country. Good that you experienced living in NZ though.

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

Yeah I felt that when I lived here in nz in the early 2000s it was very stuck behind in the times in many ways (technology, fashion, culturally).. things have definitely improved but the amount of middle aged white ppl who hate the use of Maori language is ridiculous.. but hopefully the younger generation will stamp this out.
admittedly I am a very outdoorsy person so this is a great country for me to live in and isnt the sort of place I’d get bored of living.. the things that make it hardliving here for me is being so far away from family and friends both in distance and in cost lol. Luckily WhatsApp helps as didnt Have this back in the 2000s. I feel like compared to the U.K. it’s a more relaxed atmosphere at work and that is something I struggled to adjust to, I was very used to dressing professionally then someone would turn up in a rugby hoodie

 

[Littleelf]

That’s interesting your dad moved away, was there a reason he decided to go when he did?

He was offered a job he couldn't refuse, so he went and never looked back. To be honest it was quite a shock to the rest of the family as he just left and that was it.

 

[Notworthy]

Personally I love the UK, it's certainly not perfect but any country is what you make it. 3 months away in the winter will do me other than thaat I consider myself bloody lucky to be British. It's perfectly possible to live an outdoorsy life in the UK. Even living 15 miles from the centre of London, i can still walk to what feels like the middle of nowhere. Took myself off for a walk a few weeks ago, found a sunny spot and sat and read my book for an hour and a half and saw 1 person the entire time and that was a walk that was listed in The Times 20 best walks a few months ago.

 

[Lady_H]

Personally I love the UK, it's certainly not perfect but any country is what you make it. 3 months away in the winter will do me other than thaat I consider myself bloody lucky to be British. It's perfectly possible to live an outdoorsy life in the UK. Even living 15 miles from the centre of London, i can still walk to what feels like the middle of nowhere. Took myself off for a walk a few weeks ago, found a sunny spot and sat and read my book for an hour and a half and saw 1 person the entire time and that was a walk that was listed in The Times 20 best walks a few months ago.

So lovely to read this. I totally agree, this is a fantastic country in so many ways. I needed to live elsewhere to see it but now I’m so very grateful to live here. We are 40 miles from London in a lovely affordable area with incredible countryside on our doorstep too. I love British values and our outlook on life too.

Anyway that’s not what this thread is about! Emigrating… I’d say it resolves some problems and causes other ones and it’s never exactly the dream life that you imagine .

 

[Colin]

I moved away twice. To Thailand for a year and had a fantastic time working in Bangkok and spending weekends as a beach bum.

Then quite a few years ago I moved to Romania and stayed there. I love it in so many ways and I wouldn't go back to the UK. However I miss things about the UK, cycle lanes, Jaffa cakes, proper tea..

Getting itchy feet now and considering a move to Barcelona.