Emigrating?

[Heyguysswipeup]

I moved to nz with my family when I was younger then back to the U.K. after a few years, only for me to move back to nz last year as an adult I can honestly say it’s the best thing we have done. We have proper seasons and a long summer which makes a difference, kinder people, a better work life balance and just seeing the news in the U.K. makes me know I’m in the better country. It’s hard as although I lived here as a child, it’s like starting again as I only kept in contact with a few friends but the opportunity my parents gave me by moving here has by far made me a more adventurous person. Go for it, even if you just try it out for 2 years.
happy to answer any questions you have

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Is anyone sorely tempted to just sell up and emigrate? I’m so sick of the UK. I feel like I’m merely existing here with zero quality of life and am craving a change!

Interested to hear if anyone has made the jump! If you have, where did you go and how did you find it? What was the process? Positives? Negatives?

I’m sooooo tempted by Australia!

 

[barmcake]

I retired to Turkey. All big white friendly smiles and lovely weather at first. The honeymoon period lasted about a year. Soon realised that away from the tourist area:

Any women alone is considered a whore (my neighbour used to follow me saying 'fucky fucky madam, madam fucky fucky')
terrible animal abuse;
cold winters and everything shut;
ex-pats gossiping and getting drunk because laying on a beach gets boring after a year or two;
just smiling at a Turkish man means you want to marry them;
many older ladies getting their life savings or property stolen by lover boys.

I could go on but think Australia or New Zealand would be great choice. I would always recommend spending 6 months renting before committing.

 

[Notworthy]

I've got a friend that's moved out to the States, her children are 14, 13, 10 and 9. Her husband works in the Airline industry and she worked with young children. Was working for a while as a kindergarten teacher but has just got her realtor's license. They absolutely love it, they've just bought a house in New Jersey and are about 45 minutes from New York. She says she regrets not taking the plunge earlier and there's no way they'd ever move back to the UK.

She doesn't really have many ties here though, had a crappy childhood, her parents gave her up for adoption, adoptive parents passed away when she was only 9, then was just in and out of foster homes. The first bit of stability was probably her meeting her husband and then them starting a family. She's such a great mum/woman so happy for her as she deserves all the happiness in the world. Don't think I could do it myself though, first and foremost guns and gun crime scares the life out of me.

I'd like to say that guns and crime wouldn't affect you but living in Miami I had experiences involving guns and my poor brother was only there for a month and found himself in the middle of a shootout on Biscayne Bridge. I was held up at gunpoint in Hollywood Florida at 6.30pm walking home from Dinner with my then 3 year old Son (I spent 7 years in Miami then 4 years backwards and forwards trying to decide where to settle while completing my degree)

 

[Kaylarina]

We have been considering it for some time. My husband is American and we are much closer to his family than mine and now we are having our first child it would just make sense.

He has been offered an amazing job opportunity, which thankfully he can take up at any point in the next 2 years if wanted.

I’ve never been 100% certain on doing it but part of me feels if we don’t do it now, we never will.

 

[Onecandream]

My partner and two children have bajan citizenship (Barbados) and altho we are not married I can gain citizenship as a parent to my children

late last year I was seriously contemplating moving out there. Like thinking about it constantly 24/7. England and it’s drab winter has sent me over the edge this year and I just wanted to up and leave to the sun and vibrant colours. We were there for 3 weeks in September and coming back to the dull concrete towns, brown and grey scenery, no sun, sent me under.
But in reality, it wouldn’t work. Cost of living is extremely high there and wages are very low. I’d have to work 6 days a week and hardly see my children, it would be a massive struggle to make ends meet there. Even sending children to school costs an absolute fortune as you have to buy all their specific school books totally around £500 every year. Food is extortionate. Petrol the same. Cars are crazy prices for old shitty bangers. We would scrape by maybe but I don’t want to struggle and worry and stress. I’ve only in the last few weeks become comfortable again with life here for now. It’s an option to retire there though maybe

 

[Heyguysswipeup]

New Zealand is my absolute dream place to move to. I’d love to hear more about your experiences and the comparisons. Especially the price of living I’ve heard rent is so high.

I have the same job I had in the U.K and earn £7k/$14k more here than I did in the U.K. for it. I live in the South Island, the north island is more expensive to live in so maybe incomes are higher there? I guess it depends where you lived in the U.K. for rent but over here I pay $430 a week for a 2 bed house but I know of people who pay 400 for a 3bed. Food is more expensive however most of it is nz grown (unlike the U.K. where it’s mostly imported) and I like the idea that It forces me to be conscious of making food last rather than wast (like I did in the U.K.) and also to buy seasonally!
despite this, we still save $700 a week after bills and food etc.
we don’t have children but are working on this .. childcare is very cheap. About $6/£3 an hour to go to nursery/ day care! So we would be only spending about $140 a week to send our child to nursery and I can go back to work.
The weather and outdoorsy lifestyle is what makes it so much better than the U.K… I moved here last year so got to experience covid in both the U.K. and nz and I just feel so lucky to be here when I see the situation in the U.K. right now.. it certainly isn’t a place I want my kids to grow up in.

obviously there are areas you stay clear of (we have a lot of gangs in nz especially Auckland) but you get that in every country don’t you? The only thing that makes it hard living here is being away from family and friends!
It cost us around £18k to move here with our dog and all our furniture so took a bit of our savings away!
sorry for the disjointed response, happy to answer any other questions!

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Tax-fee payment in Dubai sounds incredible, like I know someone on £4K/month tax free as a teacher. I just can’t imagine it. She says the heyday is past and you used to be able to get more free stuff, and that she thinks at some point in the semi-distant future, they’ll take away the incentives for expats to come over once their expat workforce is steady. But the money is mind-boggling - I can’t imagine any teacher in the UK getting that much. Apparently everyone knows everyone (or at least someone knows someone who knows someone else) in the expat community so if you know someone, you can find out which employers are decent and which aren’t. All this being said, the human rights abuses are shocking for a relatively “free” country.

I lived in the US in one region & while I’m sure other parts of it are nicer, the legacy of segregation was still alive and kicking. People hung out in ethnic groups for the most part and the poverty line was very racialised. People were also crazy judgmental and less educated than we are here despite thinking the US is the best country in the world which used to piss me off. They would judge you for the most ridiculous shit. I couldn’t hack how everything was built for cars either.

I absolutely love the UK but I find the housing situation so depressing. My partner and I earn good money but I think the UK does not reward hard work as much as it does coming from money. People on less money than us with less education (I know one guy who works in a phone shop whose gf was a first line IT support technician - both on around £18K - who just bought a house) speed off ahead and buy a house with inheritance money while we won’t be able to for several years. I’m happy to pay tax but the roads are dirty, I can barely see a doctor, schools are struggling…:/

I’ve written off buying a house with the way things are at the moment. My brother feels the same way. It’s completely unobtainable for us and any houses we would be able to afford are nothing more than overpriced new build boxes in shitty areas. Not to mention all the associated bills that come with being a home owner at the present time. All of my friends who own houses relied on family support/inheritance and are now doing the 2.4 children thing and struggling to pay the bills.

I refuse to spend the best years of my life scrimping and saving to them go on to be tied to a mortgage. I find it hilarious that we spend most of our time at work here in the U.K. leaving for work at 7 and not getting in until 7pm, I’m that knackered that more often than not I’m in bed by 9pm so I would effectively just be paying a mortgage just to sleep in my house.

It’s one of the reasons I have for emigrating. I’m not fixed to anything in the U.K. and have the freedom to go wherever. The only thing that is currently holding me back however is leaving my mum on her own. She would love to join me in a new life in Australia but she’s in her sixties and as I understand it, I don’t think she would be entitled to a visa/residency.

 

[bubbadabut]

Would not recommend living in NZ at all. Weather is similar to UK. Scenery is similar to stuff you can see closer to home in Wales/Scotland/Iceland. Its expensive, the supermarkets are rubbish, shocking public transport. No decent shops. Ugly, basic, soulless architecture. Lack of culture. Its about 20-30 behind the times. You feel disconnected from relatives in the UK due to the time difference. Most of all - very racist.

Just my opinion, I'm sure others love it. Personally I would never go back even if it was all expenses paid.

 

[TheGlossy]

That is very true concerning intolerance and judgment. As I am now married to a French man I must admit that I tend not to tell people that I am English. Racism is such a problem here, I live in quite a remote part of France and you should see the way some people treat different colored/accents etc it is quite disgusting!
Yes there are unsafe places also but i really don’t tend to think about this, as I live so far away from problems.
Its nice to hear other people’s perspectives on the country, I know a lot of people that left France around 2008/2012 period, and lots of the (at the time) kids/teens had a hard time fitting in at school, did you have this kind of problem ? I was lucky to be the only English in my school at the time so they accepted me really well, it was not the case for people we knew that had multiple English in the same school, the French kids would reject them and they would stay among themselves and never fit in

I agree. Absolutely abhorrent!

Yes, I did have a hard time fitting it at school (which is part of the reason I still have some negative feelings about the environment over there).

I went to a regular French school for a portion of my early education and was heavily bullied. The school was a in a small town and people over there were very backwards in their way of thinking. Then, I went to an international school with students from different ethnicities, nationalities and backgrounds and it was much better. I had a great time in that international school because it was very "cosmopolitan" and people were very open-minded.

I also think the educational system in France is tailored in such a way that positive reinforcement is not part of the equation. During my time in the regular French schools, I was constantly put down by my teachers which really didn't help me as an insecure teenager. However, during my time at the international school, positive reinforcement was constant. It was like a breathe of fresh air.

I truthfully think it is a cultural thing to be "judgmental" in French because we're told from a young age to develop a strong sense of critical thinking. The issue is that most people don't apply this critical sense to the right context. For instance, I was walking down the street in some area in Paris and it just so happened that on that day, my hair looked very very dry. While in Ireland or in the UK, no one would care really. Some girl who walked past me with her friends made it a point to say loudly: "Look at her hair, it's so fried. It's horrible". This type of stuff is constant. You're constantly judged on silly things people wouldn't even notice elsewhere.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Am honestly tempted as well, I can't stand being here anymore, towns a dump, transports ridiculously overpriced if you want to get out the shit hole, my folks almost went to Australia when we were younger an my dad at the very last moment couldn't do it, now I wonder just how much life would have been different if he did an if it would have been better than living in this place where clearly mental health is a problem for company's since they are happy to close the door on your face

Similar story here- my grandad and nana were going to move over in the 1960’s but decided to stay in Yorkshire instead. Often wonder how life would have turned out for my family if they had moved over.

The work/life balance does seem better in Australia then it is over here. I feel we just work to pay the bills only to come home, sit in front of the telly and then wake up and do it all over again.

Going off topic but I’m sorry your mental health isn’t great at the moment. Hopefully you will find a company soon that are much more supportive where you feel valued.

 

[YetAnotherObsessionx]

Can see this thread hasn’t been used since 2022, but I’ll post anyway.

me and my partner are seriously thinking about Australia. We don’t feel like our children will have the opportunities / lifestyle we want for them in the UK. My partner is on the skilled list so we know we’d get in via him. But it just feels daunting. We’ve floated the idea to family, his side said they wouldn’t blame us if we went, which was surprising as he is an only child, so the only grandkids they have would be going too, where as my side told us not to.

I would feel incredibly guilty about taking the children from grandparents, friends etc. but it’s also an itch we can’t scratch, if we don’t try we’ll never know, if we decided then it wasn’t for us then we couldn’t say we hadn’t tried. We are very tempted to visit Aus first. And go from there. But we know the UK isn’t where we want to raise our children, but to take them from everything they know, I just don’t know.

ETA - we are both mid 20s. So have years before we’d be too old to get in.

You're young, your kids are young - it's the perfect time to do it. Like the other posters say, if you hate it, you can come back, and wow what an experience you'll have to look back on. My family came to the UK (from another European country) when me and my siblings were teenagers. It didn't take long for us to settle and learn a new way of life. With Australia, you won't have to learn a new language, lots of things will be familiar, and you wouldn't be the only Brits there, either. Research it in LOTS of detail. I agree with the people saying try it, if it doesn't work out come back and at least you'll have given it a go. That's got to be better than not trying at all, right?

 

[Just here to say]

Australia would be my ultimate dream personally, but it is far too remote and while my 20 year old self would be tempted, as a 32 year old woman I can't picture myself taking the plunge at this stage of my life (perhaps in my 50s for 6 months or so). Canada would be a great option, but I don't do well in the cold at all. I'd be miserable. Florida/California or Singapore would be two great options in my opinion, but it's rather difficult to emigrate there and I have to say, Florida is a bit sketchy. I would need some place where it's always warm (humidity or rain is not an issue as long as it's warm). I'm getting sick of the whole 345 days of cold / rain and 20 days of heat / sun per year. It's really starting to affect me.

I thought of Dubai, but Dubai's values don't agree with mine. The extreme display of wealth when some migrants are literally held hostage to basically work for free in some neighbourhoods is despicable. Not to mention, the extreme heat is not for me. I like heat, but not to that extent.

The thing is the problems you are trying to escape by moving to another country might translate into different problems in that other country. There's always a level of trade-off, it depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice.

How about India? It's so vast that you will be able cater to your needs in terms of weather and climate. Sea, mountains, desert, city, village. There's culture, beautiful architecture, great food, good accessibility, nice people.

I went to Australia to study for a few months. It was amazing, but I don't think I'd be okay with living there. I think I'd be quite lonely and bored. Yes the weather is exceptional, but I need more. Australians are also quite straightforward and this can be seem like a positive, or you could just say they're pricks lol. And as other posters have said: it lacks that historical/cultural aspect. It's difficult to get there, and difficult to get out. The main cities are also getting very crowded. Sydney is full of people. Brisbane is starting to hike up house prices because now everyone wants to live there.

I'm thinking about getting a job somewhere in India and trying it out. I have considered a lot of countries including Mexico, Canada, European countries like Portugal. The thing is each one has its unique drawbacks. I haven't really found one for India (except far from my mum, but that's going to be everywhere).

 

[sasuss]

I've got a friend that's moved out to the States, her children are 14, 13, 10 and 9. Her husband works in the Airline industry and she worked with young children. Was working for a while as a kindergarten teacher but has just got her realtor's license. They absolutely love it, they've just bought a house in New Jersey and are about 45 minutes from New York. She says she regrets not taking the plunge earlier and there's no way they'd ever move back to the UK.

She doesn't really have many ties here though, had a crappy childhood, her parents gave her up for adoption, adoptive parents passed away when she was only 9, then was just in and out of foster homes. The first bit of stability was probably her meeting her husband and then them starting a family. She's such a great mum/woman so happy for her as she deserves all the happiness in the world. Don't think I could do it myself though, first and foremost guns and gun crime scares the life out of me.

 

[FishCustard]

I moved to nz with my family when I was younger then back to the U.K. after a few years, only for me to move back to nz last year as an adult I can honestly say it’s the best thing we have done. We have proper seasons and a long summer which makes a difference, kinder people, a better work life balance and just seeing the news in the U.K. makes me know I’m in the better country. It’s hard as although I lived here as a child, it’s like starting again as I only kept in contact with a few friends but the opportunity my parents gave me by moving here has by far made me a more adventurous person. Go for it, even if you just try it out for 2 years.
happy to answer any questions you have

New Zealand is my absolute dream place to move to. I’d love to hear more about your experiences and the comparisons. Especially the price of living I’ve heard rent is so high.

 

[Lady_H]

Personally I love the UK, it's certainly not perfect but any country is what you make it. 3 months away in the winter will do me other than thaat I consider myself bloody lucky to be British. It's perfectly possible to live an outdoorsy life in the UK. Even living 15 miles from the centre of London, i can still walk to what feels like the middle of nowhere. Took myself off for a walk a few weeks ago, found a sunny spot and sat and read my book for an hour and a half and saw 1 person the entire time and that was a walk that was listed in The Times 20 best walks a few months ago.

So lovely to read this. I totally agree, this is a fantastic country in so many ways. I needed to live elsewhere to see it but now I’m so very grateful to live here. We are 40 miles from London in a lovely affordable area with incredible countryside on our doorstep too. I love British values and our outlook on life too.

Anyway that’s not what this thread is about! Emigrating… I’d say it resolves some problems and causes other ones and it’s never exactly the dream life that you imagine .

 

[yogiessexdubs]

It's tax free and sounds incredible (& that sounds like an incredible wage for a teacher here to be honest ..) but the cost of living is VERY expensive. Apartments, fresh food, things like decent washing powder are so expensive. Most people who flaunt it here are getting alot of freebies due to their work (ahemmm) or racked up on credit.

 

[Lady_H]

I lived in the US for 7 years but came back to the UK after the birth of my Son. If you have no ties then go for it, if you can move away then you can move back just as easily, honestly, I've sold my furniture about 5 times so far. I love the UK in the Summer and as my mortgage finishes in June I'm hoping to find a way to be in the Caribbean in the winter from now on. My only warning is that if you do move abroad it's very likely that for the rest of your ife you will be torn. There's pros and cons to everything. Oz and Nz aren't on my radar as too far.

That’s a very wise post. I had exactly the same type of experience. I moved to the US for 10 years. I remember very well that feeling of “I can’t stand being here in the U.K. any more”! It was a great experience to be away, and there also came a time when it was right to come back. And I really appreciate the U.K. now in ways I didn’t before.

I totally agree that moving abroad can result in a feeling of being torn for the rest of your life in ways you can’t predict, and in my experience that feeling increases the older you get. Having children certainly changes and complicates things a lot as far as that is concerned.

Overall I’d say that the experience broadens your mind… but then you have to live with a broadened mind! And there will always be comparisons you can make about how great things are elsewhere that are not necessarily based in reality. Hard to explain really.

 

[Geranium]

My sister in law and her family moved to NZ fifteen years ago and really regret it.
They are always complaining about the cost of living. The summers are too humid, the winters too wet. Random things they miss are the footpaths everywhere in the UK, the shops, the history.
They both work long hours and have long commutes. They say they are sick of people talking about the scenery as they say the novelty of lovely scenery soon wears off.
But their biggest regret is being so far from family and that has intensified over the years. The time difference makes even zoom catch ups tricky to organise and with elderly folk almost impossible.
She works in healthcare he is a solicitor.
They do have a lovely house but they say (he used to be a builder) that the standards of construction for homes is surprisingly poor.)
I’ve never been to NZ so these are not my observations by the way!
They emigrated in their late 40s.

 

[greenvelvet]

Tax-fee payment in Dubai sounds incredible, like I know someone on £4K/month tax free as a teacher. I just can’t imagine it. She says the heyday is past and you used to be able to get more free stuff, and that she thinks at some point in the semi-distant future, they’ll take away the incentives for expats to come over once their expat workforce is steady. But the money is mind-boggling - I can’t imagine any teacher in the UK getting that much. Apparently everyone knows everyone (or at least someone knows someone who knows someone else) in the expat community so if you know someone, you can find out which employers are decent and which aren’t. All this being said, the human rights abuses are shocking for a relatively “free” country.

I lived in the US in one region & while I’m sure other parts of it are nicer, the legacy of segregation was still alive and kicking. People hung out in ethnic groups for the most part and the poverty line was very racialised. People were also crazy judgmental and less educated than we are here despite thinking the US is the best country in the world which used to piss me off. They would judge you for the most ridiculous shit. I couldn’t hack how everything was built for cars either.

I absolutely love the UK but I find the housing situation so depressing. My partner and I earn good money but I think the UK does not reward hard work as much as it does coming from money. People on less money than us with less education (I know one guy who works in a phone shop whose gf was a first line IT support technician - both on around £18K - who just bought a house) speed off ahead and buy a house with inheritance money while we won’t be able to for several years. I’m happy to pay tax but the roads are dirty, I can barely see a doctor, schools are struggling…:/