Elle Florence #12 Fumbling Towards Mediocrity: Elle, Her Cats, and the Quest for Mr. Next

[Sheepsmeadow]

What a liar!! Who needs to lie about fishing of all things that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! Hey Smelly - this is why it’s so easy for us to dislike you!! “Fishing since age was 8” actually means one time when she was 8 someone took her fishing! Pathetic!!

Can someone please call her out on how pathetic she is at fishing if it took her over 20 years to catch her first fish? I think most of us have been fishing at least once in our lives, and yes, that time was most likely in our childhood. But no, that doesn’t mean we fish, just like having gone sailing when we were kids doesn’t mean we sail. It’s all just part of having a childhood. It’s a whole other thing to go fishing on a regular basis, and now she’s pretending to do that yet never catch anything? To be fair, I guess it goes hand in hand with being a jewelry designer and not knowing what a bezel setting is!

 

[boredstrom]

What a liar!! Who needs to lie about fishing of all things that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! Hey Smelly - this is why it’s so easy for us to dislike you!! “Fishing since age was 8” actually means one time when she was 8 someone took her fishing! Pathetic!!

Ridiculous thing to lie about, but I think I know why she feels she has to. She knows she screwed up trying to marry Rick. Sure she deleted everyone's comment telling her she was making a huge mistake rushing into marriage with some guy she suddenly pretended to have a lot in common with when she really didn't, but she knows.

She knows it's a bad idea and she's trying to do it again with yet another guy, but she has to cling to the notion that the people who buy her stuff won't notice. More importantly, she has to REALLY cling to the notion that Elle herself won't notice and will be able to wake up every morning without screaming . . .

And so, we are now someone who has been fishing since we were 8 and has 'serendiptously' been dating a man who fishes . . .

 

[Drasticactions]

I'm sure she'd say something like
"You guys know I love balancing aesthetics and practicality. It hasn't been aesthetically pleasing nor practical for me to go fishing, this is the only time since I was 8 that is has been both practical and something I could make aesthetically pleasing in the last 24 years. This is why I haven" t been fishing since 8 years old and haven't caught a fish until now. My life has been a challenge and now my heart is happy I can enjoy life's simple pleasures"

Also who tf fishes in cashmere?? Why isn't she wearing her more practical Patagonia? Is it because you couldn't even zip it up last year before the "happy" weight came on??

 

[boredstrom]

I'm sure she'd say something like
"You guys know I love balancing aesthetics and practicality. It hasn't been aesthetically pleasing nor practical for me to go fishing, this is the only time since I was 8 that is has been both practical and something I could make aesthetically pleasing in the last 24 years. This is why I haven" t been fishing since 8 years old and haven't caught a fish until now. My life has been a challenge and now my heart is happy I can enjoy life's simple pleasures"

Also who tf fishes in cashmere?? Why isn't she wearing her more practical Patagonia? Is it because you couldn't even zip it up last year before the "happy" weight came on??

She's really stuck on this one. Biking, hiking . . . ok we know she doesn't really do those things as often as someone who really loves them, but she can make everyone laugh (with her, even) when she does it in a full face of paint with a bag full of tuna paninis spoiling in the heat. But fishing?

I grew up in a really outdoorsy friend group. I still hike, backpack, and bikepack. I eat dehydrated meals and don't wear any makeup when I do those things. It's fine and it's still a lot of fun and no one cares that you don't have all the comforts of home or how you look when you're doing it.

But fishing? No thanks. I've been a couple times and even though stinking pretty bad and eating freeze dried chili mac doesn't bother me in the middle of a 5 day bikepacking trip, I found fishing to be an all around gross and unpleasant experience. It's one of the least Elle things I can think of. I can't for the life of me imagine how much Elle is having to swallow her pain and frustrations to go on these fishing dates and put on a happy face.

But per her social media she appears to be. Girlboss is a manhunting machine.

 

[bethannebodyworks]

But fishing? No thanks. I've been a couple times and even though stinking pretty bad and eating freeze dried chili mac doesn't bother me in the middle of a 5 day bikepacking trip, I found fishing to be an all around gross and unpleasant experience. It's one of the least Elle things I can think of. I can't for the life of me imagine how much Elle is having to swallow her pain and frustrations to go on these fishing dates and put on a happy face.

But per her social media she appears to be. Girlboss is a manhunting machine.

Right?! She's probably vomiting internally. Fishing is gross. But I looooove fishing lol. This is personal to me!

 

[MissDeverauxDarling]

How long until she moves back to Seattle and off bainbridge? I adore bainbridge and would love to live out there but it’s sort of inconvenient if you need to be in the city, and if you need to be in Bellevue or Kirkland forget it!

Bainbridge Island tops the "best places to retire in the USA" lists constantly - perfect for Elle! She's a Girlboss™, don't forget... she doesn't have a job or commute, she doesn't worry about the rent, and her only priority is having a porch for the UPS person to drop off packages. It was probably so inconvenient in her Seattle apartment, having to saunter down to the lobby to get packages in one of her 17 house robes.

As long as she can pop over to Seattle for the occassional fishing trip and Nordstrom visit, she's happy. I'm actually surprised she hasn't posted more haul content because there is way more shopping in the US than here in Canada. Not that we need her Target or Ulta hauls!

 

[daytripper]

But if she'd been fishing since she was 8, she must be an absolute shitshow of an uncoordinated mess because to fish actively all that time and never catch anything ever until now?! It's obvious she was lying. "My first fishie w[h]ere I cast the line." She's such a bleeping tryhard dolt.

SUCH a bleeping tryhard. You nailed it, Bethanne.

I hope she threw that poor little under limit fish back in the water right after her precious "proof of fishing" photo was taken. You touched a fish. OK.

And the thought of wearing a light-colored light sweater while fishing?! What a poseur. She always trusts she can just buy or lie her way into an identity. Seattle local, country music and bbq aficionado, "practicing lawyer", Rick frugal lifestyle enthusiast, "jewelry designer", it just goes on and on. Remember when she bought that overpriced Coach sweater with the T-Rex on it and she was like, "YOU GUYYZZ, MY MOM UTHED TO TAKE ME TO THE NATURAL HITHTORY MUTHEUM WHEN I WAS A KID. ALL THE TIME!!! I'M REALLY INTO DINOSAURS." Just to justify her spending and fleeting interest of the moment (always man or purchase motivated). For some reason this makes me picture a little girl screaming her made-up rules from the top of a playground structure, mostly ignored by the other children playing happily below.

What prospective friend or man -or friends/family members of man- wouldn't see through her immaturity and outrageous vanity? She is disgusting.

I just said she was disgusting, but the world is filled with people who are disgusting in the ways that Elle is (con artists, greedy, liars, inconsiderate).
So I have to ask myself, why do I pay any attention to her after all these years? I think it's that she's a fool, in the classic, timeless sense of the word.
She's a fool.
And she'll never buy or lie her way out of being ridiculous. As long as she's making a spectacle of herself, we get some free cringe-watch entertainment.

 

[LuvYoutube]

SUCH a bleeping tryhard. You nailed it, Bethanne.

I hope she threw that poor little under limit fish back in the water right after her precious "proof of fishing" photo was taken. You touched a fish. OK.

And the thought of wearing a light-colored light sweater while fishing?! What a poseur. She always trusts she can just buy or lie her way into an identity. Seattle local, country music and bbq aficionado, "practicing lawyer", Rick frugal lifestyle enthusiast, "jewelry designer", it just goes on and on. Remember when she bought that overpriced Coach sweater with the T-Rex on it and she was like, "YOU GUYYZZ, MY MOM UTHED TO TAKE ME TO THE NATURAL HITHTORY MUTHEUM WHEN I WAS A KID. ALL THE TIME!!! I'M REALLY INTO DINOSAURS." Just to justify her spending and fleeting interest of the moment (always man or purchase motivated). For some reason this makes me picture a little girl screaming her made-up rules from the top of a playground structure, mostly ignored by the other children playing happily below.

What prospective friend or man -or friends/family members of man- wouldn't see through her immaturity and outrageous vanity? She is disgusting.

I just said she was disgusting, but the world is filled with people who are disgusting in the ways that Elle is (con artists, greedy, liars, inconsiderate).
So I have to ask myself, why do I pay any attention to her after all these years? I think it's that she's a fool, in the classic, timeless sense of the word.
She's a fool.
And she'll never buy or lie her way out of being ridiculous. As long as she's making a spectacle of herself, we get some free cringe-watch entertainment.

She can’t keep her lies straight.

 

[Phoebe.Tallulah]

She can’t keep her lies straight.

Lying is one trait I cannot tolerate in my personal life with people close to me. However, with people like Elle who mostly tell the dumbest lies it’s pure entertainment and I have nothing but pity for them. Eta: I have a friend who disclosed that she advises her kid to lie about dumb stuff. Like playing a certain video game or liking a certain social media person. I just can’t see how this is good advice but I wonder if mama G told Elle to do the same thing in order to fit in?

 

[Keikochan]

She is making so many problems for herself. She could of easily said something like "yeah I've never really fished before but my "Friend" loves fishing & invited me along, such fun day out"....... Like nobody cares if you're doing something new, you don't have to be an expert(or not even a good 1 who can catch a fish) in everything Elle.

 

[Drasticactions]

I think Elle needs to turn everything she does and buys into a personality trait. And needs to also lie it up to make her seem more interesting. Newsflash most of us are average and mediocre that's life! Everything has to tie back to "I've been doing this since x age" or some how tie into stuff she's shilling.

She gave us a glimpse at her thought process during one of her work trips. "Joe and I both went to UT at the same time but didn't know eachother, but since we attended at the same time that basically means we met there right?"

She legit would be someone who made something with like modeling clay as a kid and would put it on her CV saying she makes sculptures in her spare time. People like her live in their own dreamworld bc they can't accept how life really is.

 

[adidass]

i’m a little late to the party but i just have to share my comments on Smelle’s latest youtube video. how can she be this bad at editing after years on the platform???

-buys a bunch of dresses from a “new designer at Nordstrom” that she’s “never heard of” — and doesn’t say the name. (I’m not going to click on your dumb affiliate link! )
-goes on and on about her new “sage green” yoga mat while showing clips of her coffee machine
-goes on and on about her “parisian ballet flats” while showing clips of something completely unrelated

the last two comments someone else here already mentioned, but again…I am truly flabbergasted at Elle’s sincere lack of effort in putting out quality content.

 

[LuvYoutube]

I think Elle needs to turn everything she does and buys into a personality trait. And needs to also lie it up to make her seem more interesting. Newsflash most of us are average and mediocre that's life! Everything has to tie back to "I've been doing this since x age" or some how tie into stuff she's shilling.

She gave us a glimpse at her thought process during one of her work trips. "Joe and I both went to UT at the same time but didn't know eachother, but since we attended at the same time that basically means we met there right?"

She legit would be someone who made something with like modeling clay as a kid and would put it on her CV saying she makes sculptures in her spare time. People like her live in their own dreamworld bc they can't accept how life really is.

Another example was when she said that Rick was someone she’s known for 10 years. Rick told us that they didn’t stay in contact. Elle stretched the truth. In Elle’s world having met someone 10 years ago means that they’ve known each continuously for all of the 10:years. And another example, Elle told us us that she grew up speaking French and her Mom corrected her and said that she doesn’t really speak French. She did archery which is in keeping her horoscope sign Sagittarius (TMI tag video). She did competitive fencing.....

 

[Drasticactions]

Another example was when she said that Rick was someone she’s known for 10 years. Rick told us that they didn’t stay in contact. Elle stretched the truth. In Elle’s world having met someone 10 years ago means that they’ve known each continuously for all of the 10:years. And another example, Elle told us us that she grew up speaking French and her Mom corrected her and said that she doesn’t really speak French. She did archery which is in keeping her horoscope sign Sagittarius (TMI tag video). She did competitive fencing.....

This! I did archery in gym class in highschool and while it was something I enjoyed and would gladly do again I wouldn't go telling people I was an archer. I also bet Elle took a fencing class and that why she says she did competitive fencing. She's slim but she's not athletic enough to actually compete. I knew kids in highschool who fenced and they were very lean and had a lot of muscle. (One of them was on our school Soccer team) and I'm not even sure they were considered competitive.

 

[APoppy]

Did anyone else find her justification for purchasing the love seat completely baffling ? She needs it until she gets a moving truck to bring the sectional ? Omg. Also if I was her landlord I would be very unhappy with all the new holes in the walls, canopy, mirrors, shoes that whole wall looks ridiculous. And she’s doesn’t like plastic storage ?!?? Wtf. At this point every video is a commercial and a way to make money off her Karen’s.

I’m so confused by her need to purchase a love seat. She had two couches. She bought a second one in Florida because her and Rick had such a big living room. I remember because she had them across from each other and they were practically touching (She did not in fact have such a large living room). Then When she moved to Seattle, she lent one to her Mom when her mom moved into the townhouse. I’m assuming the one she lent to her mom was destroyed by her cats and her second one from the Seattle apartment is in storage. Why not just get it from storage, no excuse to shop. She really lacks self confidence, never can just Own her feelings and say I wanted a new couch so I got one, always need an excuse for what she does.

Her bracelet looks so cheap! The way she bent and tightened it on her wrist, is it suppose to be that bendable? After one wear that thing will completely lose its shape.

 

[boredstrom]

I wonder how horrified Mr Next would be if he saw the girlboss camping video.

Eh, probably not very now that I think about it. Elle shows up to fishing outings in tan cashmere. He must know what he's in for.

 

[APoppy]

Omg, the sofa she linked is almost $1,200! How does she have so much money to spend on furniture and clothes? How do you spend $1,200 rather than getting your other couch out of storage.

 

[gossipsnooper]

Was just binge watching some old Joe-era content for the fun of it...the look he's giving to the camera in this iteration of What I Eat in a Day is priceless. Just hysterical. This is a man in pain lol. In another one of these videos, Elle says "I forced Joe to eat a little with me on camera." You can tell he's never comfortable being filmed while eating (or ever for that matter), yet she continues to sneak shots of him eating her food. Can anyone link the Girlboss Breakup Video or Mount Nordstrom??? I'd be eternally grateful. Ran out of things to watch on Netflix.

Definitely agree with the consensus on the existence of a fisherman Mr. Next

 

[Drasticactions]

If that one guy is Mr fisherman I feel bad for him. Maybe bc he reminds me of my brother. My brother is the typical engineer type works hard but hasn't had many girlfriends and I know how tough dating can be for a guy in his 30s who spent more time working and studying hard instead of dating.

It is clear Elle only sees people for the value they bring her. Hence why we've heard nothing about her friends since her birthday (I'm assuming they are who she went hiking with, and to the pumpkin patch?) She probably dumped those girls once she was in a better relationship with Mr fisherman bc she didn't need them anymore. She only needed them to appear normal. Same with the Dolls, once Rick invited her to Podunk FL she didn't need them anymore. She gives me the impression that she probably hates her female friends if they do anything "better" than her. While I don't envy the Dolls I could see Elle being envious of them and be more than happy to never talk to them again.


Her mom is just a source of money. Once mama g is gone or broke Elle is going to drain this guy's bank account. Everyone to her is someone to be used for HER benefit only.

Her only motivations in life are money and having a man. I wouldn't want my brother with someone like that. I'd definitely want someone I knew warned of this kind of behavior. I'm just glad she hasn't snagged my second cousin , he's in Seattle working for Amazon and is very sheltered and I'm sure elle would sink her claws into him and never let go.

 

[MissDeverauxDarling]

Can anyone link the Girlboss Breakup Video or Mount Nordstrom??? I'd be eternally grateful. Ran out of things to watch on Netflix.

Here you go, two #girlboss vlogs: https://we.tl/t-L7mtnnnZqB

Mount Nordstrom™ appears at 42:25 in the Girlboss Survival Vlog.