Weve got a 5 year and 1 month age gap second baby was "a suprise".Can I jump on this and ask a legal question? I've moved jobs and were planning baby2... Not sure how long I have to work there before qualifying for paid mat leave.... Also - we have one who is nearly 2.5. she's out everything. I always wanted children and DH did too. She sleeps so well (although recently has only slept in bed with us) but up until age 2 slept 12hrs and 2hr nap in her own for. Amazing.
I doubt well get another who will be such an angel re sleep! Can't companion though as we've had it super easy with her.
Re baby no2.... They'll be about a 4year age gap presuming i get preggo at Xmas which is the plan. What do people think about that gap?
In hindsight I think a smaller gap.epuld have been better, similar toys/interests... Bit it's only really.now that I feel ready to consider anothet she's my baby!!! Plus I left a pretty toxic shit job a few months ago and I wasnt in a good place to even consider another baby.
Life isnt about material things, its about family/people/connections. Myself and my husband have all those things you mention, we also have a 22 and 19yo. You struggle financially in the early years (well we did), and life got easier as they got older but not once did I ever wish I could have a double income and spend it on what I wanted. We had Sun holidays in a caravan, thats all we needed and could afford at the time and we had a great time.They're living their best lives with second holiday homes, vacationing when they want, having a double income and spending it on what they want. They seem very content and in fact have discussed that lockdown has reaffirmed their decision to not have children.
I think you're judging people on your experience here a life without children can be equally fulfilling. 'Family/People/Connections' are absolutely not dependent on having children, they can exist without them, quite happily. People without children are not just interested in material things, and even if they are it doesn't mean their life isn't fulfilled. You chose to spend your incomes on what you wanted and that was Children, for these people it's holidaying.Life isnt about material things, its about family/people/connections. Myself and my husband have all those things you mention, we also have a 22 and 19yo. You struggle financially in the early years (well we did), and life got easier as they got older but not once did I ever wish I could have a double income and spend it on what I wanted. We had Sun holidays in a caravan, thats all we needed and could afford at the time and we had a great time.
I would be very interested to see the % of people who actually regret having children and resent them. Lots of people would rather things were easier or less intense but I think very few people actually regret having their kids or resent them.That is the complete opposite of what I have read... many people do regret children but are afraid to admit it and that is more abundantly clear during covid.
If anything, I would rather not have kids than have them, regret it and then resent them. Any people I know who have never had kids never regretted it.
You can get maternity allowance regardless of how long you have worked there. Maternity allowance is the same as stat maternity pay. Different organisations have different rules regarding how long you need to work there to get enhanced maternity leave (beyond statutory)Can I jump on this and ask a legal question? I've moved jobs and were planning baby2... Not sure how long I have to work there before qualifying for paid mat leave.... Also - we have one who is nearly 2.5. she's out everything. I always wanted children and DH did too. She sleeps so well (although recently has only slept in bed with us) but up until age 2 slept 12hrs and 2hr nap in her own for. Amazing.
I doubt well get another who will be such an angel re sleep! Can't companion though as we've had it super easy with her.
Re baby no2.... They'll be about a 4year age gap presuming i get preggo at Xmas which is the plan. What do people think about that gap?
In hindsight I think a smaller gap.epuld have been better, similar toys/interests... Bit it's only really.now that I feel ready to consider anothet she's my baby!!! Plus I left a pretty toxic shit job a few months ago and I wasnt in a good place to even consider another baby.
For any legal people out there... How long do I need to be at new job before mat leave?! Tia xx
Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP)
(i) All staff members who have been continuously employed by the Board for 26 weeks at the
beginning of the 15th week before the expected week of confinement (ECW) are entitled to
statutory maternity pay, provided they earn the minimum amount specified by law (which
changes from time to time).
(ii) The rate of SMP is 90% of average weekly earnings for the first 6 weeks, followed by a rate
equivalent to the current rate of Statutory Sick Pay (which changes from time to time by law)
for a further period of up to 33 weeks. SMP is not payable before the employee has ceased
work because of pregnancy or after she has returned to work.
(iii) To qualify for the right to maternity pay, the employee must notify the line manage, in writing,
that she is pregnant and of the expected week of childbirth and produce the Mat B1 Certificate
signed by a doctor or registered midwife confirming the expected week of childbirth. The
employee must also by the 15th week (notification week) before the EWC, give, in writing, the date when she intends to take leave.
(iv) If you do not qualify for SMP, please request a form SMP1 from the HR Manger detailing the
reasons why. This should be taken to the local Jobcentre Plus Office as it is likely that you will
be entitled to either Maternity Allowance or Incapacity Benefit. For further details of any state
benefits, contact your local Jobcentre Plus or www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk.
Maternity Pay Period
The following applies both to school maternity pay and to SMP.
(i) Staff members can choose within limits when they wish their maternity pay period to begin. It
can begin at any time from the beginning of the 11th week before the ECW until the date the
child is born. It will begin automatically if the employee is absent from work because of her
pregnancy at any time after the beginning of the 4th week before the ECW (see 5.6 (iii) below).
(ii) Maternity pay will be paid monthly at the same time and in the same way as the normal salary.
Thanks for this. I know that most people get SMP just trying to decipher the wordy info from work to se when I'd also qualify for their materniry package. XI would be very interested to see the % of people who actually regret having children and resent them. Lots of people would rather things were easier or less intense but I think very few people actually regret having their kids or resent them.
I have no issue with people who don’t want kids. I can absolutely see the appeal. But I don’t think many people actually regret or resent their children.
You can get maternity allowance regardless of how long you have worked there. Maternity allowance is the same as stat maternity pay. Different organisations have different rules regarding how long you need to work there to get enhanced maternity leave (beyond statutory)
Thats exactly how I feel. Im the oldest of 4 children and none of us want our own children. Im 34 and im wondering if ill regret it when im older and wish I had family to do things with.I think this is part of her worry, her partner hasn't got a great relationship with his family and would happily not see them if it wasn't for her. He has a history of depression as he had a rough childhood. From what she has said, he has fears of having children because of his childhood. They both agreed being only children is lonely so if they do have any they will have at least 2.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?