Do I want it? No. Do I need it? No. Save it!

[Kittylover2019]

I’ve realised something very useful recently- money is power.

What I mean is that having money means I can deal with eventualities and feel comfortable in my day to day life. Giving away all my money to crap pointless purchases means I have less of that power. I would rather look at my bank account and feel relieved that I’ve got a decent amount of cash in there than anxious because I’ve got duck all and feel guilty for buying a load of crud. Having money makes me feel safe and less anxious. More reassured.

I’ve been trying to instil this into the kids. Mr Kitty had always been amazing with money if it were left to me we’d be absolutely broke.

I was never guided as a child regarding finances, well, nothing in life really, I moved out at 17 and I’ve never got to grips with my own money until the last 4/5 years.

I’ve been looking to get a savings a/c for my son who is 15, for himself to manage his spending money and to allow him to transfer it from his current account. I was telling him how he will feel putting a bit away each month and how good it will be to save up for something and be able to buy himself without asking. After a quick look it seems you have to be 16 for some reason or get the standard one with me as joint account holder, which he already has. It’s so frustrating.

On another thread I recently spoke about the CTF which is about to mature and handed over to my 18 year old. Just like that, in her hand to go and blow, so irresponsibles of the government to hand money over like that!

 

[Queen of the Thames]

I'm always conflicted about money. On the one hand I want to save as much as possible, but on the other hand that is of no use to me when I'm dead.

 

[Curiouscupcake]

I'm always conflicted about money. On the one hand I want to save as much as possible, but on the other hand that is of no use to me when I'm dead.

The difference is using the money for good ie experiences or fixing things. Whereas a lot of spending is mindless, a quick high followed by regret, or for stuff in a months time you have forgotten about.

We are desperate to visit family in another country, who haven’t yet met my children, we can’t afford to do this but if we could bank that £800+ per month currently going on debt and other commitments, we could fairly easily afford to do so. Could I tell you what our debt was spent on? Absolutely not.., probably meals out here and there, too many tots for my children, clothes that we wore once after buying on impulse. Money that would have been better spent in different ways.
---
Too many toys*

And meals out… of course they are nice but unnecessary when it means using your credit card to pay.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The difference is using the money for good ie experiences or fixing things. Whereas a lot of spending is mindless, a quick high followed by regret, or for stuff in a months time you have forgotten about.

We are desperate to visit family in another country, who haven’t yet met my children, we can’t afford to do this but if we could bank that £800+ per month currently going on debt and other commitments, we could fairly easily afford to do so. Could I tell you what our debt was spent on? Absolutely not.., probably meals out here and there, too many tots for my children, clothes that we wore once after buying on impulse. Money that would have been better spent in different ways.
---
Too many toys*

And meals out… of course they are nice but unnecessary when it means using your credit card to pay.

Agree completely, I think big shopping™️ has done such a good job at PRing saving as an exercise in self deprivation and utter misery. I still buy stuff and enjoy myself, I’m just more considered as I’m prioritising my future self over current impulsive self seeking a temporary mood boost

For me the reason I’m opting out of big consumption is 1. Clear the mortgage asap, it’s a form of debt and we don’t need to endure the full term paying the bank a multiple of the capital so why would we, future proofs us in many ways 2. My LO’s future to be cushty af 3. Plan for a gr8 retirement so everything was worth it. Even if I drop dead tomorrow my ghost would feel content that my heart was in the right place. I’d rather have tried for those goals and failed due to my early demise than have never tried at all

 

[TheArtisticMouse]

It’s very similar to diet culture isn’t it? People think it’s all or nothing and if you spend on x you may as well blow everything else on y. When really balance is the way to go if you want to achieve your goals.

 

[Curiouscupcake]

It’s also about being seen to have all the things. Who needs all the things really though? They just make your house impossible to tidy and clean, and get you into debt. Advertising is definitely part of the issue… I always say stick VIP on the end of anything and my husband would immediately buy or or upgrade. Simply because he wants the best of everything.

But really, it’s the little things and being free that is good for the soul.

Sorry, I realise I have a lot to say about this subject but I feel like I’ve slowly been finding the light over the last couple of years. That most things are simply designed to make you part with money to faceless corporations who don’t give a damn if you can afford it or not. But if we find the simpler things in life, we can still be happy and have great experiences.

 

[coconochanel]

I think depriving yourself can make it worse and then you have a blow out and you are back to square one! What I do is write a lost of what I need and a couple of thing I want and just buy one thing off the list every month. That way you are getting a treat without buying loads.

 

[TheArtisticMouse]

I’ve seen advice about giving yourself pocket money for little treats, so you’re still spending somethibg but it’s within budget

 

[adviseplz]

I think depriving yourself can make it worse and then you have a blow out and you are back to square one! What I do is write a lost of what I need and a couple of thing I want and just buy one thing off the list every month. That way you are getting a treat without buying loads.

This is a great idea, I’m going to give it a go.

 

[Ineedmorecoffee]

Money gives you choices.

You can buy all the things, save, donate to charities, whatever you want.

I think depriving yourself can make it worse and then you have a blow out and you are back to square one! What I do is write a lost of what I need and a couple of thing I want and just buy one thing off the list every month. That way you are getting a treat without buying loads.

I do this too . I’ve had my eye on a pair of shoes, it’s a week till payday, ive used my income really well and not gone mad, so today I got them. In the sale too! And I’ll still be in the black because I said to myself I would only get them if I could still afford them by payday. And I will still be ok by then but I didn’t dare leave them any longer in case someone else nabbed them!

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

I have a £50 allowance for buying bits & bobs I want. My once a month McDonald's breakfast comes out of that plus I took my sister to lunch yesterday so I'll take that out of it too as I need very little and want very little if I'm being honest. Next month may test me though!

 

[WeepingCassandra]

I think I've found my people! I've always been a saver rather than a spender, but I find at the moment being on maternity leave my money feels like it's draining in seconds and I'm spending a lot more on things like take out coffees and small food shops just because they're something to do (Tesco is a five minute walk away from our house, and has a Costa in it).

My sister drives me mad - she's always been able to stretch a fiver ten different ways - and she constantly messages me with "I'm so poor, I hate it" and then "look at what I've just bought on vinted/should I buy this?"

 

[Popcornshovel]

Does anyone else buy multiples of stuff because you see an offer or think it'll come in handy?

It's not loads... But I've got 4 bottles of shampoo, 3 bottles of foundation etc. I think I get scared of things I like being discontinued. But I've bought this stuff on my credit card, so it seems stupid to be paying interest on these things when I don't even need them for months!

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Popcornshovel I do. I bought three jumpers the same but different colours. If there's something gadgety I'll get two because I mislay things all the time. I bought two pairs of boots because I loved them. One incase the other falls apart. I do it all the time. Trying to change.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Does anyone else buy multiples of stuff because you see an offer or think it'll come in handy?

It's not loads... But I've got 4 bottles of shampoo, 3 bottles of foundation etc. I think I get scared of things I like being discontinued. But I've bought this stuff on my credit card, so it seems stupid to be paying interest on these things when I don't even need them for months!

This year I'm trying to do a low buy year of things that aren't essential/immediately useful because I was getting into a cycle of buying stuff like that and never using it (I donated two of those big Soap and Glory christmas tins full of shower products to a homeless charity this time last year). I'm also trying to live by the philosophy of "use what you have, you can't take it with you" as I would hang onto candles and never burn them, not use craft items like stickers that I like the most because I can't get another sheet of them (I do a lot of journalling/scrapbooking), never eat the nice chocolates.

So my rules this year are -
1) No buying non-perishable items if I am not nearly out of them already - this includes trying new ones, for instance I currently have some moisturiser that I don't particularly like but I won't be buying a different one until this is all gone.
2) Use what I have and enjoy it rather than holding on to it for a 'special occasion' (there's never one good enough)
3) Only buy on an offer if it's truly saving you money (e.g. 2 bottles of shampoo for £4 when they're £3.75 each, not 2 bottles of shampoo for £4 when they're £2.25 each).

ETA - I'm also absolutely not buying any books this year (I have over 50 unread on my bookcase), will only be buying new clothes if I really need to and am trying my hardest to limit buying food and drink outside the house to once a week.

 

[avabella]

I’ve started back on my tret journey and have got the peelies bad so was hitting up Look Fantastic and Boots website to find a new moisturiser to help. Then had the brainwave to check out my advent calendar product box and found an absolutely fab intensive moisturiser that will do just the job so money saved, ideal and hopefully the tret flakes will go soon!

 

[coconochanel]

Does anyone else buy multiples of stuff because you see an offer or think it'll come in handy?

It's not loads... But I've got 4 bottles of shampoo, 3 bottles of foundation etc. I think I get scared of things I like being discontinued. But I've bought this stuff on my credit card, so it seems stupid to be paying interest on these things when I don't even need them for months!

I usually buy expensive stuff like foundation when its on offer and heres a tip John Lewis usually have 20% off on bank holidays etc. So keep an eye out for that

 

[Silverback]

I agree about giving yourself ‘pocket money’. I’m really feeling the urge to go on an IKEA spree right now and I’m thinking I’ll just give myself a £50 budget to get some useful things, stock up on candles and maybe a plant.

In the past I would have spent £100 in ikea plus £50 on a jumper and £40 on makeup all within the same week. I would probably have spent more.

I’ve also found that leaving purchases a few days takes the edge off. My boss had a lovely eyeliner on last week and I felt desperate to immediately go to the shop and find something similar. I left it a few days though and realised that my existing eyeliners are fine and I don’t need it. Impulse awareness has really been key in reeling in the spending.

I want to get rid of our debt as well as have a hol this year. We owe about 4k in total and I would love to clear it. That would feel so good. Better than buying another eyeliner!

 

[Scorpihoe]

This week so far I’ve talked myself out of:

• A £50 Stanley cup 🥲 my brother told me my Chillys water bottle is just as good, and I don’t even use it

• £500 AirPod max, I wanted these for a while because my AirPods keep falling out my ears lol, and I love the look of them

• A Caudalie eye cream. This was a stupid idea anyways because I realised I already had a Caudalie brightening eye cream (not sure if it’s the exact same one?), that I could use up before getting another

 

[pinkmug]

2) Use what I have and enjoy it rather than holding on to it for a 'special occasion' (there's never one good enough)

This is something I'm starting to do as well. I have boxes and tins full of expensive tea but I always found myself using cheap tea bags because I didn't want to run out of my nice tea. If I won't drink it, what's the point of having it? I don't know if I'll be able to make it home this evening, our next day is not promised. So I'm using them everyday now and I'm enjoying myself more. If I run out and I'm not able to replace them immediately or maybe ever, so be it. At least I've enjoyed what I have instead of letting it expire, waiting for the right occasion.