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really_whythough

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It's such a shame that so many young people are pushed into going to University when there are so many opportunities in trades.
Yep! Anyone who is smart enough to learn and put into practice traditional building and restoration methods, especially insulation that won’t wreck your house with damp, is going to absolutely clean up in any area of the country.

I wish that Stacey Solomon ‘Renovation Rescue’ program was half focused on naming and shaming and suing the people who left them in the lurch in the first place. It’s just far too easy to get away with poor work and frankly criminal behaviour.
 
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Silverback

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@viggle Your line here really stood out to me:

‘Stuff’ can’t bring that same joy or the feeling of a safe place.

SO TRUE!

We have been talking about downsizing lately. Our house is prob worth about 450k and we are thinking of buying somewhere for under 350, paying off our remaining mortgage and sticking the rest in savings.

There are good things about our house but also a lot of things that need work. Even keeping on top of the gardening stresses me out. Windows need replacing, the heating doesn’t work properly. It all hangs over me. I want less worries and more peace. I remember when we lived in a 1 bed flat and life was so chilled. We didn’t have to worry about as much and had more liquid cash. We can’t downsize that much now as we have kids but we can definitely downsize somewhat. Having the house valued this week.
 
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Trauma Frotters

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I feel absolutely passionately that pet ownership should not be the privilege of the financially able. My family background is as poor as poor can be but yet absolutely full of animal lovers, pets and lives enrichened by the human animal bond, including solo living elders who would have not opened the curtains in the morning without the life affirming companionship of their dog. "Give a Dog A Bone" is a charity working in this field who I support.

I made my first ever mortgage overpayment. A small enough amount but it feels good. I am now working on finding the balance between feeding my own savings and overpaying the mortgage. We live quite frugally which is fine but I worry that we may scrimp and save away our lives diligently and then something terrible happens to one of us and the survivor is left regretting not living a little more together instead of overpaying the mortgage/having a full savings account. That sounds very dramatic but my family does not make old bones and I can be a bit too disciplined and get stuck in a self denial loop (five years since our last holiday for example and we have had some very heavy emotional stuff to deal with leaving us drained but a holiday just feels unobtainable)

Anyway, I am a long way off that being an actual problem as I am still making small unneccesary purchases - a full set of L'oreal bond repair hair products last week. I need to get back into using what I have first. I also bought a new dog clicker despite knowing I own three as I can't find any of them. Too much clutter and some poor decisions!
 
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really_whythough

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I was scammed out of thousands of pounds this week by a trader. I am utterly distraught. Please don’t ever make the same mistake I did and ask their hourly rate before they start work and get a quote.

Prior to that I was in spendy mode. Was looking at insta too much and thinking I ‘needed’ new summer dresses and bits from the white company. Now I feel awfully guilty.

The events of this week have made me and my husband reevaluate our situation. We are thinking of moving house in order to release some cash and make our lives easier. This house seems riddled with problems and while there are good things about it we are thinking about moving to a cheaper area to lower our bills and release more cash back into our savings.

I’ve done a lot of cosmetic work on this house so it’s a shame. I completely made over both front and back gardens and recently painted the front door and put a gorgeous door knocker on it. This scam situation has made me reevaluate our situation though. We are a few thousand in debt and it really stresses me out. We can’t ever afford to go on holiday.

I just feel sick to my stomach right now.
I’m so so sorry that has happened to you, sadly it’s extremely common. Please don’t blame yourselves.

The consumer protection act is there to make sure you have some pushback against people like this.

We are taking TWO incompetent builders to the small claims court for thousands of pounds each.

I’d really encourage you to speak to citizens advice (call them early in the morning - I’ve always gotten through then). Explain clearly what has happened.

It sounds like the issue might be that you were massively overcharged? Maybe because a price wasn’t agreed first?

I can’t remember the exact wording but the cost of work must be fair and reasonable, they can’t just take advantage you as you didn’t agree first.

For one of our cases, he overcharged (we thought we were paying for reliability and skill - ha! Not so much…) and CA told us to get 2 other quotes (not easy once the work is done but you’ll probably have an easier time, ours was a massive job). Then you can take them to court for the difference.

We’ve done a lot of learning and speaking to solicitors (for free, they all say do small claims as it can get silly expensive unless you have legal cover - maybe you do?!) and many of them say if it does go to court, usually if you are the ‘good guy’ you’ll win, then it’s a case of making them pay.

Anyway, if you’d rather just put it behind you that’s totally understandable. At least they’ve buggered off and you’ve learnt your lesson! That’s worth something.

This country is absolutely broken when it comes to trades. Where we are it’s at least 90% crap, narcissistic cowboys. I wish I was exaggerating.
 
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Bread

Chatty Member
Any of you lovelies know of any car insurance deals?

Thank you 🥰
I did the four major comparison sites and then got my current insurer to match the lowest offer! Worth looking at Go compare I think as they offer £250 excess cover (so they'll pay up to £250 for your excess) and this meant I could have a higher excess which brought my costs down.

Well done on the closing the window 50degreesnorth! That takes strength though I'm sorry to hear about the earring. I'm sure it will turn up, these things always do.

I've had a bit of a panicky day which suddenly sparked a Spend. Nothing massive, but bits add up and it was just like I stopped caring. I get 'paid' on Friday (I've left my job and I pay myself a monthly salary, but I do dip into my money in between :( ) and I suppose I'm thinking well I'll pay it off then... But I feel ill about it. Swim cap, swim shoes, flip flops, toothpaste, a dress I liked which had gone down more than 50% off to £15, walking sandals... I hope to have a new job starting next month, but I feel very ashamed of myself and not sure what to do about it. I may ask my parents if they'd like to give me the shoes for my birthday. I feel very out of control, so I'm going to sit down and go through everything I've spent, everything I have left and do some calculations. I was so frightened by this settlement coming to me and me having money that I couldn't breathe because I was scared I'd screw it up and now I am, I suppose.
 
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Darvos

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Living on it. enough to manage but not a lot spare - partly my own fault and the monthly regular vet fees for 3 dogs and 2 cats is ridiculous, I shouldn't have so many animals, but I have and I love them so they stay.
I feel for you @TheMiceInTheShed. Pet costs are up there with energy prices when it comes to goalpost-moving of past budgeting (like working out what you need to live on with a pension).
We lost our old dog earlier this year and it’s not just that awful heartbreak that everyone who loses an animal they love goes through that is stopping us from getting another. I feel so angry inside that a few companies are cynically hoovering up the UK veterinary industry, right to the pet crematorium stage, and the prices for treatment and routine care are shooting off the scale, with pet insurance premiums responding accordingly.
Responsible animal lovers are feeling it and there are terrible animal welfare repercussions with those less responsible.
Apart from a couple of aquariums the only animal we currently have is a 15 yr old cat, whose insurance is a few pence off
£50 a month. I am open to another cat, or a bonded pair, as I can’t imagine being without one, but in my heart my home should be a amiable pile-in of animals who need a home, and I just will not do that. Poorer in pocket or poorer in heart isn’t a choice I’m enjoying making but I feel so taken advantage of by the big vet companies.
 
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rainbowlemon

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I've had a bit of a panicky day which suddenly sparked a Spend. Nothing massive, but bits add up and it was just like I stopped caring. I get 'paid' on Friday (I've left my job and I pay myself a monthly salary, but I do dip into my money in between :( ) and I suppose I'm thinking well I'll pay it off then... But I feel ill about it. Swim cap, swim shoes, flip flops, toothpaste, a dress I liked which had gone down more than 50% off to £15, walking sandals... I hope to have a new job starting next month, but I feel very ashamed of myself and not sure what to do about it. I may ask my parents if they'd like to give me the shoes for my birthday. I feel very out of control, so I'm going to sit down and go through everything I've spent, everything I have left and do some calculations. I was so frightened by this settlement coming to me and me having money that I couldn't breathe because I was scared I'd screw it up and now I am, I suppose.
Try to be kind to yourself. Everyone makes financial mistakes, and it's important to learn from them rather than dwelling on guilt or shame.

It's okay to ask for support from your parents or someone you trust. If you feel comfortable, you can discuss your situation with them and see if they can help you with birthday gifts or other support.

Reflect on your recent purchases and categorize them as needs or wants.
 
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50degreesnorth

VIP Member
I got kinda suckered yesterday. Quidco sent me an “extra cashback” for buying something electrical on eBay. Before I knew it there’s a ninja air fryer on its way. 🙄 In my defence, the current one is in pieces as the children have been using it for basketball practice I assume and I could only turn it on using pliers.

Cheap eats right now. Rhubarb is growing like the weed it is - crumble crumble anyone? And one of the chickens keeps giving us double yolkers. 😋
 
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Bread

Chatty Member
I had the same thing with rescues in the UK. I adopted from Romania and am so, so, so thankful the UK rescues all simply ignored me as I adore my little boy. It was soul destroying at the time though, I wanted a dog so badly yet rescue homes wouldn't even respond to me.

I'm very sorry you are saying goodbye to your dear chap. I hope you enjoy your last days with him x
 
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Notworthy

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I’m so so sorry that has happened to you, sadly it’s extremely common. Please don’t blame yourselves.

The consumer protection act is there to make sure you have some pushback against people like this.

We are taking TWO incompetent builders to the small claims court for thousands of pounds each.

I’d really encourage you to speak to citizens advice (call them early in the morning - I’ve always gotten through then). Explain clearly what has happened.

It sounds like the issue might be that you were massively overcharged? Maybe because a price wasn’t agreed first?

I can’t remember the exact wording but the cost of work must be fair and reasonable, they can’t just take advantage you as you didn’t agree first.

For one of our cases, he overcharged (we thought we were paying for reliability and skill - ha! Not so much…) and CA told us to get 2 other quotes (not easy once the work is done but you’ll probably have an easier time, ours was a massive job). Then you can take them to court for the difference.

We’ve done a lot of learning and speaking to solicitors (for free, they all say do small claims as it can get silly expensive unless you have legal cover - maybe you do?!) and many of them say if it does go to court, usually if you are the ‘good guy’ you’ll win, then it’s a case of making them pay.

Anyway, if you’d rather just put it behind you that’s totally understandable. At least they’ve buggered off and you’ve learnt your lesson! That’s worth something.

This country is absolutely broken when it comes to trades. Where we are it’s at least 90% crap, narcissistic cowboys. I wish I was exaggerating.
It's such a shame that so many young people are pushed into going to University when there are so many opportunities in trades.
 
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Bread

Chatty Member
So had a slip up and ordered some clothes even though I have loads... It's not worth the money so want to send it back. There's a £3.50 fee for refunds and then the postage cost too.

When I order online I kid myself with 'I can always send it back and get a refund'.

Will try to remember about these refund fees as it'll put me off buying stuff!
I used to get such a kick out of having clothes delivered and then returning them. It was a physical rush. I feel bad for doing that now, and am not surprised companies are starting to charge. But blimey, that feeling was addictive.

Can you sell something on Vinted to make up the £3.50 plus postage?
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Indeed.

Even having a very sick or elderly animal PTS is horrifically expensive now. Our last dog (not including cremation costs) was £295 to have euthanised. His back legs had failed completely and he was so miserable, poor boy. He really was ready to go. But many people can't afford this sort of money (and no dog at the end of it). I know of at least one person who has let a pet in great distress die slowly and painfully at home because she apparently just didn't have the money. Her daughter-in-law offered to lend her it but she wouldn't accept.

We don't have pet insurance because of the cost, but they are all on a monthly plan at the vet's (between £19-£27/per animal /per month) to cover inoculations, flea and worm treatment etc. These will most likely be our last, largely because of cost, but a bit because of our age (we're in our 70's now and don't want to leave any responsibility for animals to our children. Our daughter will certainly take any which outlive us, but I wouldn't like to leave her with more than one - they are costly and tying.)
I hear you. I've had to cancel insurance for my dog as it doubled... My vet is independent and I trust them but even so the costs of animal care make me feel sick. I am saving for R in a separate account, but I'll have to put anything emergency on a credit card and deal with it.

Animal ownership is a huge boost emotionally and mentally. Somehow we need to make it more affordable for the benefit of all. There is no excuse for that person who couldn't afford to have their pet put down - the fact she wouldn't accept the money from a relative tells me that she didn't love the animal all that much. Appalling behaviour. There are charities who will help people with costs like that.
 
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rainbowlemon

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It was awkward but I got the £10 back with a £5 top up. 🥴
-£35 from someone else when I told them yesterday, but I only sent my details to him this morning .
-£79 from person 3.
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IMG_6273.jpeg
 
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50degreesnorth

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More fucking livid. Broke the clasp on a pair of gold earrings last summer and decided there was no point having broken earrings sat around. Paid £56 for them to be mended and lost one within 48 hrs. 🤬🤦‍♀️ It might turn up…

In the interim I bought a couple of pairs from Swarovski (good sale right now). Am never going down the gold/platinum/precious stones route for earrings ever again!

Nearly the end of the month and despite a few hiccups, savings have been made, all bills paid, donations made and I feel pretty calm about my financial situation.
 
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Popcornshovel

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So had a slip up and ordered some clothes even though I have loads... It's not worth the money so want to send it back. There's a £3.50 fee for refunds and then the postage cost too.

When I order online I kid myself with 'I can always send it back and get a refund'.

Will try to remember about these refund fees as it'll put me off buying stuff!
 
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TheMiceInTheShed

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I feel for you @TheMiceInTheShed. Pet costs are up there with energy prices when it comes to goalpost-moving of past budgeting (like working out what you need to live on with a pension).
We lost our old dog earlier this year and it’s not just that awful heartbreak that everyone who loses an animal they love goes through that is stopping us from getting another. I feel so angry inside that a few companies are cynically hoovering up the UK veterinary industry, right to the pet crematorium stage, and the prices for treatment and routine care are shooting off the scale, with pet insurance premiums responding accordingly.
Responsible animal lovers are feeling it and there are terrible animal welfare repercussions with those less responsible.
Apart from a couple of aquariums the only animal we currently have is a 15 yr old cat, whose insurance is a few pence off
£50 a month. I am open to another cat, or a bonded pair, as I can’t imagine being without one, but in my heart my home should be a amiable pile-in of animals who need a home, and I just will not do that. Poorer in pocket or poorer in heart isn’t a choice I’m enjoying making but I feel so taken advantage of by the big vet companies.
Indeed.

Even having a very sick or elderly animal PTS is horrifically expensive now. Our last dog (not including cremation costs) was £295 to have euthanised. His back legs had failed completely and he was so miserable, poor boy. He really was ready to go. But many people can't afford this sort of money (and no dog at the end of it). I know of at least one person who has let a pet in great distress die slowly and painfully at home because she apparently just didn't have the money. Her daughter-in-law offered to lend her it but she wouldn't accept.

We don't have pet insurance because of the cost, but they are all on a monthly plan at the vet's (between £19-£27/per animal /per month) to cover inoculations, flea and worm treatment etc. These will most likely be our last, largely because of cost, but a bit because of our age (we're in our 70's now and don't want to leave any responsibility for animals to our children. Our daughter will certainly take any which outlive us, but I wouldn't like to leave her with more than one - they are costly and tying.)
 
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I really like @honestpersonalfinance on TikTok for conversations like this. He can go a bit far sometimes but he’s shared his childhood trauma stuff so it makes sense, but his content is a really good antidote to feeling like you should be doing x y or z! The only thing we should ever be doing is what’s right and best for us & our families!

Having a litmus test on spending and seeing if it takes you closer or further from your goals has been really helpful for me, personally! Like we all have to spend money at some point but making good choices when we do hopefully reduces the frequency of it.

Also love puzzles and reading, the good reads challenge is great for building the habit (ime!).
 
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Popcornshovel

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I really feel lately like I just want to live a ‘small life’. I don’t want to keep shopping all the time, I just want to save my money, be better off and have quieter weekends, chilling out and enjoying the little things. I get caught up so much in consumer culture and zipping from shop to shop when really what I have is enough. I have enough clothes. Enough entertainment. What my brain needs is calm and peace and to not worry about money. I need more quiet, less stimulation. I actually really would like to just sit down with a hot chocolate and do a puzzle. Yes I know that makes me sound about 90 but a quiet peaceful life is what I’m craving, and continuously spending money isn’t helping at all.

Unfortunately we live in a really snooty area where there is a real urge to keep up with the joneses. Flawless front gardens, pretty coloured front doors, 4x4 cars, Teslas, you name it. It’s hard not to get sucked in to all that shit and feel like you’re not good enough if you don’t have all that. Our house is an average size but I keep feeling I need to make it ‘up to scratch’ by endlessly gardening and spending money on it I don’t have.

Im tired and I just want to go and do a puzzle and listen to the birds singing.
100% agree. I want to work less and have less stuff.
 

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Bread

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Thank you so much for the kind words on here which helped me calm down a lot. (The swim shoes were £6 and I wore the £15 dress to a job interview this morning!) I'm back in the habit of writing down on a spreadsheet every single outgoing, and categorising it,. Half of the panic was not doing that, I think.

@Silverback I'm so sorry to hear of what happened. If the guy quoted and has gone massively over this, as others say, you have some legal recourse. Martin Moneysaving chappy's forums are so good for things like this. At the risk of sounding flippant, being a few thousand in debt is really not a lot compared to the average person's debts nowadays - can you look at sorting a payment plan to make yourselves feel back in control?
 
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Any of you lovelies know of any car insurance deals?

Thank you 🥰
Not so much a deal, but I had to renew my buildings insurance this week and admiral were amongst the top of the comparison sites & when I called up to pay (because the site was having issues) they asked about cars in the household because of their multi policy deals, and I was really pleasantly surprised?! It’ll only be my third year insured as a primary driver but it’s down 30% on year 2’s cost (which was already 50% of year 1’s!). It’s not due until mid October and they said I can cancel with a £20 charge if I find a better deal, so felt worth it. You may be able to do the inverse with them - starting with the car & moving other policies across?

In general thread things - updated all my standing orders this month so I felt less decision paralysis/overwhelm about where to move what to. It’s currently sale season so trying to resist that. I have an iPhone note of things I want for my wardrobe and I’m using that as a firewall to ad hoc shopping.
 
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I’ve given him a follow but his insta stills are giving me mild Simon Harris vibes so I’ll be watching in side-eye at first, heh.
Oh yeah he’s definitely a bit unusual but I think that in itself is part of him being liberated from society’s bs? Don’t get me wrong he’s said some things I disagree with about kids (nothing creepy but he’s said before if you’re in debt kids don’t get Christmas presents - like come on man that’s not it!) but I admire that he truly doesn’t give a 💩 and highlights the insanity of living for other people’s approval! Definitely one to take what you need from & skip the rest!

Which has reminded me of another test I like - if no one could see you have it, would you still want it? 🤭
 
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