Do I move on?

[WhatABore]

I would imagine because she used to be at his beckoned call and reply instantly, without a response he probably started worrying she would blab.
Well done OP. Stay strong and we are all here x

Ah yes. For some reason I was thinking they didn't speak much. But just realised it was that she didn't see him so much now.

 

[Welsh1]

The only reason I'm posting here is because it's anonymous and I am under no illusion that what I've done here is wrong but I really need advice.
I've been in a situation now for nearly 12 years. I started meeting up with a guy who was in the same friendship group as me, we started what was initially a bit of fun, slept together a few times etc then I did something not so great which rocked the boat and he ended up in a relationship with someone else. He was in this relationship for 3 years but was sleeping with me throughout. I then ended up in a relationship where we had a child together however this relationship was very toxic, manipulation, emotional and mental abuse aswell as financial abuse. I didn't cheat physically with this guy whilst in a relationship but for the duration this other guy was there for me emotionally throughout. His words and support actually gave me the courage to leave. He has always been the loveliest man, tells me im beautiful, how he will never be able to live his life happily without me, he tells me he loves me all whilst he's in a relationship with someone else. He has explained that his current relationship is more a situation of they have a mortgage together and a dog, they both have good jobs but its more like a friendship. I'm in love with this man. I know everyone says, if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you but I honestly don't believe he would. To have been there for me for 12 years, and still here, even at times where I've completely pushed him away due to the affects my past relationship has had on me mentally, I've told him I hate him etc and he still doesn't leave, he knows that I don't mean it. He messaged me last night to say he will never be able to let me go, that whilst he knows what he's doing is wrong, im worth the risk, that I do things to him that no woman ever has and that he will love me forever. I know in my heart of hearts that we will probably never be together as he would lose a lot if his girlfriend was to find out but I have 2 options now, completely cut him off knowing how much I would hurt him or continue as we are. No man has ever made me feel as respected, supported or loved in my life and im in my mid thirties so that says something. Not to mention, the sex is incredible, I'm a larger lady with insecurities but he makes me feel so comfortable that they just go out the window when I'm with him. Thinking about him sleeping in bed with another woman every night breaks my heart. I don't know what to do for the best. Advice please ladies x

 

[BettyCrocker]

You need to change your number.

 

[TheScarletgirl]

OP This guy seems very untrustworthy I do believe some people simply do settle of someone when they have house together but still who would want that ? Feel pity for his other half and you don't have to be involved with such toxic people. I hope things go well for you in the future whatever you decided to do

 

[Welsh1]

Are you serious !? You kissed his friend and he got mad !? The guy that is cheating on his partners with you !? Please please respect yourself and leave his sorry pathetic arse !

He wasn't actually in a relationship at the time so wasn't currently cheating.

 

[Welsh1]

I am also slightly curious, you said you did something not good and he got into a relationship.
Obviously don't answer if you don't have to but I'm curious whether this thing you did was more him blaming you and making you feel guilty?

I don't mind explaining. I actually got extremely drunk and ended up kissing his friend. He claimed to be hurt at the time and needed some space so we didn't speak for a while afterwards and then he got over it.

 

[Raininvain]

How did he know you'd blocked him so quickly?

She blocked him this morning I think?

 

[Welsh1]

You really don’t sound like you are ready to let him go, you almost sound like you are thinking of reasons not too?
Are you scared of giving him an ultimatum in case he doesn’t choose you?
Im worried you are putting your life on hold for him and it sounds like you deserve a lot better

I have to agree with this comment. I really don't think I am ready. My head tells me its the right thing to do but my heart says, if he was using me why would he invest so much time in me. I never ever message him first, even though I know he's alone in the evenings, he's always done the chasing the whole 12 years, why would he support me and help me in so many ways if he just wanted sex which he rarely gets from me anyway. Other than the fact he's in a relationship, he has never ever done anything or said anything to hurt me, he is a constant positive in my life but I know I can't live this way forever. X

 

[WhatABore]

How did he know you'd blocked him so quickly?

 

[Welsh1]

Surely his girlfriend is going to notice something is wrong? He’s disappearing a few times a day, appearing moody and stroppy because he’s lost his control over you. Surely she’s about to get suspicious?
I tell you what I’m really surprised she hasn’t found out before, all it would take is for him to go to the bathroom or another room and leave his phone and then a message from OP pops up...

I would never message him first. He would always message me first when she wasn't around.