Fully agree that op shouldn’t tell his gf, as much as she deserves so much better than that rat. It would be a way to continue to be involved in his life when what she needs is a total clean break
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You can do this, stay strong
I hope that by cleanly blocking him you have seen a side to him that you didn’t see before.
His biggest concern is the things that he needs to tell you, all about himself and his own feelings.
He’s a narcissist and was using you, not only for sex but also for an ego stroke, and an emotional crutch. People use others for all sorts of reasons it’s not always entirely about sex.
Stay strong you have a large group of people here rooting for you and wanting the best for you. It will hurt for awhile and you will miss him but keep faith that long term it’s for your own good to cut him out. One day you will see that I promise x
His biggest concern is the things that he needs to tell you, all about himself and his own feelings.
He’s a narcissist and was using you, not only for sex but also for an ego stroke, and an emotional crutch. People use others for all sorts of reasons it’s not always entirely about sex.
Stay strong you have a large group of people here rooting for you and wanting the best for you. It will hurt for awhile and you will miss him but keep faith that long term it’s for your own good to cut him out. One day you will see that I promise x
Surely his girlfriend is going to notice something is wrong? He’s disappearing a few times a day, appearing moody and stroppy because he’s lost his control over you. Surely she’s about to get suspicious?
I tell you what I’m really surprised she hasn’t found out before, all it would take is for him to go to the bathroom or another room and leave his phone and then a message from OP pops up...
I tell you what I’m really surprised she hasn’t found out before, all it would take is for him to go to the bathroom or another room and leave his phone and then a message from OP pops up...
I know I'm the minority here but I am wondering if this is actually the case? Or because you've noticed everyone on here isn't agreeing with you and telling you what you wanted to hear, that you've made out that you've just ended it just like that.
And even though he has a job, partner, house and lives 20 minutes away, that he noticed you blocked him quickly and then came straight to your door?
Sorry OP and good for you if it is the case. I just feel it seems a bit false.
And even though he has a job, partner, house and lives 20 minutes away, that he noticed you blocked him quickly and then came straight to your door?
Sorry OP and good for you if it is the case. I just feel it seems a bit false.
I’m sorry to hear what’s happened OP but like everyone has said you deserve better and to be put first. I would not get involved in telling his current girlfriend that’s a situation she needs to deal with.
I would say from my own experience my ex is a domestic abuser and moved on with a gf very quickly after I found the courage to leave him. His now ex gf recently contacted my sister and asked questions about him. Is he manipulative etc does he lie? I’m not going to tell her something she should already know! We only get one life don’t waste your time on someone who can’t be truthful or faithful. A leopard don’t change!
I would say from my own experience my ex is a domestic abuser and moved on with a gf very quickly after I found the courage to leave him. His now ex gf recently contacted my sister and asked questions about him. Is he manipulative etc does he lie? I’m not going to tell her something she should already know! We only get one life don’t waste your time on someone who can’t be truthful or faithful. A leopard don’t change!
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Why would anyone bother though? If they didn’t like the advice they could just not reply at all any more. Would be one hell of a weirdo to lie about it (and surely you never find weirdos on the internet
)I don't think it matters really if OP hasn't been entirely straight. Its helped other people I think and she can go back through the answers in her own time. Also its sent out a clear message that its never O.K. to be used by anyone.
I tend to agree with the poster above. I mean who would have the time? Although the whole thing does read a bit like bad fan faction
Exactly this. I'm not saying it hasn't happened.I tend to agree with the poster above. I mean who would have the time? Although the whole thing does read a bit like bad fan faction
But it reads like a poorly made movie
I would never message him first. He would always message me first when she wasn't around.
But couldn’t there have been an occasion when you replied and not known she was there? He must have text you on some occasions when she was in the house. I’m just wondering whether or not she’s had suspicions before and maybe she will find out now with him acting weird too. Which would probably be a good thing, as she does need to know in my opinion.
I really have not got the time to be making up a story in my head and then broadcasting it on the Internet. I may have done a bad thing but I would never go to the trouble of this if it wasn't the case. We speak every day usually via WhatsApp, I blocked him when I woke up and by the end of the day he was outside my home. I imagine you know via WhatsApp if you've been blocked. He always chased me, it was never the other way around.
Most of our chats were in the evening when she was in bed or in the daytime while he was at work then there would usually be a window between her getting home from work and going to bed that we wouldn't speak. And then on the weekends we'd speak in the evening as she goes to bed about 9pm.
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@Welsh1 I believe every word you've written, for what it's worth (nothing). And I could see when you immediately blocked him that you already had your doubts about him, and then seeing the unanimous chorus that this was manipulation and you should leave, the penny dropped and you took action immediately to block him.
I'm proud of you and hope you can heal and move forward. You're stronger than you think and you will be okay.
I'm proud of you and hope you can heal and move forward. You're stronger than you think and you will be okay.
Thank you. I'm struggling this morning, I miss him already. I just keep coming back here to read hoping that it will sink in properly soon.
I feel a bit like this about girls mouth. Some of the stuff I read I'm like.. seriously? The Internet is a weird place with some dangerous people. Believe nothing & don't contribute to any gofundmes
I think you need to remind yourself that you're worth more than the crumbs he was giving you. Running back would be begging for scraps of attention and affection! How can any human being accept that?
You are whole, you are special, and you deserve someone who will make you their number 1, not their back up.
Keep yourself busy! Take a short course, play with your kid, throw yourself into decluttering your home, call up friends and family you've lost touch with, go for a walk. Invest in you because he certainly didn't and he didn't give you space to invest in yourself (because he made you reliant on him).
Edit: quoted the wrong person. never mind.
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Sending lots of love to you. It’s going to be a really hard few weeks, but if you can crack through this, you will be free of him.
Well done you for staying strong. I imagine you’ll find yourself with a lot of time to fill on your own where before you’d have been texting him. If so, try to plan something to fill this time so you don’t find yourself picking up your phone.
Another thought occurred fo me... you said you were a larger lady but that with him it didn’t matter. Did you ever express a desire to slim and he said ‘but I love you just how you are’ or anything like that?
Often manipulative people will use ‘but you’re perfect how you are’ to discourage ‘improvement’ or change that may give you more confidence, self-worth and as a consequence get more attention from others. ‘You don’t need to speak to a specialist. You’ve got me’, ‘I’ll drive you. You don’t need to learn’ etc
You see it as ‘but look how much he loves me and how comfortable we are’, a positive, but it’s actually repressing positive change. I don’t know if you can identify with this but it might be a good time to make any changes you think will benefit you.
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I'm going to be harsh, but he is spinning the oldest line in the book. I would cut all ties, as difficult as it might be.