Weāre in the cooking period until end of may but his solicitor approached me and asked what I want so she could get it ready. I havenāt responded yet but Iām wondering to ask what they are proposing first or if itās best to go in with my offer but I donāt even know what to ask for. So hard. A magic wand to end the pain?
I'd find out what they are proposing first. The court position starts at a 50/50 spilt but that doesn't necessarily need to be the case, it really depends on your circumstances and what you each contributed to the marriage and finances. However, both parties have to be able to start again equally if that makes sense.
For instance, in some cases a Mesher agreement is suitable, where you get to stay in the house until the children are 18. Again though, it depends on circumstances. This isn't something that was suitable for my situation.
There may be options for you to make claim on his pension if you haven't worked whilst you've been looking after the children.
If you work you and you have a mortgage you may need to buy him out the property. If that's the case you'll be asked to provide details of a mortgage in principle to show your circumstances.
You'll also need to have an appointment with a mediator, even if it's just to get a MIAM to allow the settlement to be heard in court. Mediation may also help you to get a clearer picture of what you'd both like to achieve financially.
These are just examples and may not be relevant to your situation but there are so many things to consider.
I presume you've got a solicitor?
Things sound relatively friendly between you and your ex so hopefully your process won't take as long as mine. My ex is a spiteful
tit who has recently blocked me from accessing childcare vouchers we'd accumulated during the marriage, even though it won't improve his financial situation because he can't get a refund on them. He's also made it clear he won't be rushing to rent or purchase a house so won't be sharing custody of the children for the foreseeable future (probably the majority of their childhood). Leaving me to juggle working and looking after the children, one of whom is a long term school refuser. Such fun.
I'll keep everything crossed for you that your divorce remains friendly and straightforward.