Dealing with abortion

[Keera]

I had my abortion at 6-7 weeks at home. The pain for me was no worse than a bad period cramp, and only lasted about 2 days. I only had to use the cocodamol they gave me once the whole time, about 12 hours after I took the second medication (that induces bleeding).

incase it helps anyone else reading -
I took the first medication (ending the pregnancy) at about 6pm Wednesday, I didn’t expect to bleed at all until the second med (possibly my own naivety) but I started bleeding at about midday Thursday and passed 1-2 small clots (assume it was pregnancy but don’t know). Bleeding was heavy-ish, I had to go home from work as was a bit shocked and unexpected! Buteasily managed with pads for heavy flow, nothing more than that.
Thursday night took the second medication to induce bleeding, continued bleeding heavily and started cramping through the night which cocodamol sorted out.
Friday the odd twinge but nothing more.
Saturday felt pretty normal except the bleeding.
bled for about 10-12 days getting progressively lighter.
My period then returned as normal about 5 weeks later.

Hope everyone’s doing ok not an easy choice but as time goes by I’m still absolutely certai it was the right one for me x

 

[marthaedwards11]

One of my reasons for wanting to go the surgical route, despite only being 5-6 weeks along is that I don’t feel comfortable being at home during the day due to my current living situation. I don’t have a very supportive flatmate in that when I do need to work from home she makes her displeasure with that known. She knows I’m pregnant, yet still made a big deal about me working from home today (quietly in my bedroom, I’ll add!) due to random waves of nausea and cramping. I don’t feel that I have a safe space to pass the pregnancy at home. I’m really scared and I’m feeling quite lonely if I’m honest.

 

[Noodles28]

One of my reasons for wanting to go the surgical route, despite only being 5-6 weeks along is that I don’t feel comfortable being at home during the day due to my current living situation. I don’t have a very supportive flatmate in that when I do need to work from home she makes her displeasure with that known. She knows I’m pregnant, yet still made a big deal about me working from home today (quietly in my bedroom, I’ll add!) due to random waves of nausea and cramping. I don’t feel that I have a safe space to pass the pregnancy at home. I’m really scared and I’m feeling quite lonely if I’m honest.

Could you try NHS? They give both options! I tried bpas initially (at 4 weeks) and because I had to jump through some hoops and delayed now at almost 10 weeks I’m waiting for my nhs surgical appointment next week.

Hope you’re ok

 

[marthaedwards11]

Could you try NHS? They give both options! I tried bpas initially (at 4 weeks) and because I had to jump through some hoops and delayed now at almost 10 weeks I’m waiting for my nhs surgical appointment next week.

Hope you’re ok

Thank you. MSI and BPAS are both calling me tomorrow (I panicked and contacted both). Just looking at their websites it looks like BPAS automatically offer medical at-home abortions pre-10 weeks, whereas MSI seem like they give more of a choice..?

 

[Noodles28]

Thank you. MSI and BPAS are both calling me tomorrow (I panicked and contacted both). Just looking at their websites it looks like BPAS automatically offer medical at-home abortions pre-10 weeks, whereas MSI seem like they give more of a choice..?

I immediately went to BPAS as being so early I thought they’d quickly send the pills and I’d be over and done with by 6 weeks. If you have anything they find alarming or want more information on it delays the process which is why I only just managed to get sorted. Obviously I don’t know where you are but If your local hospital offers terminations then I’d give them a ring. I rang last week and though there was a wait I got offered surgical on one day or medical on a different. I didn’t think I ever wanted surgical but at this point in the pregnancy it means it’s all done in one day and I wouldn’t need to return unlike for medical

 

[Keera]

One of my reasons for wanting to go the surgical route, despite only being 5-6 weeks along is that I don’t feel comfortable being at home during the day due to my current living situation. I don’t have a very supportive flatmate in that when I do need to work from home she makes her displeasure with that known. She knows I’m pregnant, yet still made a big deal about me working from home today (quietly in my bedroom, I’ll add!) due to random waves of nausea and cramping. I don’t feel that I have a safe space to pass the pregnancy at home. I’m really scared and I’m feeling quite lonely if I’m honest.

I hope you are okay you have us here to talk to but also please reach out to the counsellors who work for organisations such as BPAS and MSI for a safe space to talk.
I completely understand your reasoning and remember you aren’t alone - when I made this thread I felt like I was the only one going through it but so many are and have done before

 

[marthaedwards11]

I immediately went to BPAS as being so early I thought they’d quickly send the pills and I’d be over and done with by 6 weeks. If you have anything they find alarming or want more information on it delays the process which is why I only just managed to get sorted. Obviously I don’t know where you are but If your local hospital offers terminations then I’d give them a ring. I rang last week and though there was a wait I got offered surgical on one day or medical on a different. I didn’t think I ever wanted surgical but at this point in the pregnancy it means it’s all done in one day and I wouldn’t need to return unlike for medical

This is good advice. Thanks so much. I’ve actually just started bleeding and cramping so I think I’ll head down to the hospital in the morning, as my GP suggested I should when I spoke to her earlier this week.

 

[Erling Haaland]

I’ve had two.

One at 18 and one at 21. No regrets!

Both times I took the tablets to pass it as they were early. One time I had to pass it in hospital and the second time at home. Both times it was VERY painful and gross. But I’ve had the coil fitted and that was a similar level of pain afterwards.

If it’s not the right time then it’s not the right time.

One of my reasons for wanting to go the surgical route, despite only being 5-6 weeks along is that I don’t feel comfortable being at home during the day due to my current living situation. I don’t have a very supportive flatmate in that when I do need to work from home she makes her displeasure with that known. She knows I’m pregnant, yet still made a big deal about me working from home today (quietly in my bedroom, I’ll add!) due to random waves of nausea and cramping. I don’t feel that I have a safe space to pass the pregnancy at home. I’m really scared and I’m feeling quite lonely if I’m honest.

Can you book a hotel for a few nights after it happens?

 

[yellowflower274]

Was it more painful than a bad period? I often get bad back and leg pain during period and have to take painkillers and go to bed.

Yeah it was definitely even co codamol wasn’t cutting it for me, that level of pain lasted about 2 hours then once the pregnancy had passed, I was absolutely fine maybe a bit of light cramps. So yes it is very very painful but only lasted a couple of hours!

 

[scotinstagal]

I don’t regret doing have an abortion. I had a one night stand with a friend and tbh it would have ruined both of our lives. (And I’m not being dramatic)

I had a surgical abortion and it didn’t hurt, I was lucky because I literally bled for about a day and I was done. I got the coil put in at the same time. I had a horrible experience with the surgeon who was a horrible judgey man but I spoke to the nurses and complained and they were amazing!

 

[Mollywobbles]

No advice.
Just to say it must have been a difficult decision but a very brave one.
Hope all goes as planned

 

[Noodles28]

This is good advice. Thanks so much. I’ve actually just started bleeding and cramping so I think I’ll head down to the hospital in the morning, as my GP suggested I should when I spoke to her earlier this week.

How did your consultations go? Are you any further forward?

 

[marthaedwards11]

How did your consultations go? Are you any further forward?

BPAS sent me for a scan at my local A&E yesterday as I had some pain. They couldn’t find the pregnancy when they scanned so sent me for some bloods. Today I’m bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain so I guess that’s that. Feeling a little numb but mainly relieved. Thanks for checking in

Just a more general point to anyone who may stumble across this thread looking for advice.. I want to add that although I wasn’t treated via BPAS in the end, the midwife I spoke to initially was so reassuring and helpful, made me feel completely safe and listened to. I’d definitely recommend reaching out to them

 

[Noodles28]

BPAS sent me for a scan at my local A&E yesterday as I had some pain. They couldn’t find the pregnancy when they scanned so sent me for some bloods. Today I’m bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain so I guess that’s that. Feeling a little numb but mainly relieved. Thanks for checking in

Just a more general point to anyone who may stumble across this thread looking for advice.. I want to add that although I wasn’t treated via BPAS in the end, the midwife I spoke to initially was so reassuring and helpful, made me feel completely safe and listened to. I’d definitely recommend reaching out to them

Glad to hear you’re ok! Lots of rest and looking after yourself for the next few days and weeks

 

[juy7nhio]

Yeah it was definitely even co codamol wasn’t cutting it for me, that level of pain lasted about 2 hours then once the pregnancy had passed, I was absolutely fine maybe a bit of light cramps. So yes it is very very painful but only lasted a couple of hours!

I found it agony too, like a vice scraping my womb... sorry. But it only lasted 4-5 hours max. I would recommend anyone try to get proper painkillers, something stronger than cocodamol

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I had a termination 15 years ago, I don't regret it. Me and my partner had only been together 5 months when I found out I was pregnant. I knew I didn't want children but still considered (momentarily) keeping it By the time I told my partner I knew I didn't want to keep it and he supported that.

I rang Marie Stopes and arranged it with them. I had a surgical procedure at 10 weeks. I remember nothing of the procedure, I remember coming round from the sedation and having a cup of tea and a biscuit.

After the termination I had two days off work and when I went back in, my manager, who disapproved of me having a termination, was a bit rude to me and gave me 'orders' to do physical work. My colleague/friend had a go at him and did all the physical work for me. I was so glad my colleague was there because he really looked after me, I think I'd have left in tears if it wasn't for his kindness that day.

I definitely had an emotional reaction to having a termination, there were lots of ups and downs because I had a Catholic education and had it drummed into me that termination was a sin. I hadn't realised how much of that indoctrination had sunk in. I didn't really talk about it either. I worked through it on my own, which I now realise was daft, I'd have felt better about it if I'd spoken to people. I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want anyone to think I was struggling with the choice I'd made, I thought I'd be admitting I made a mistake, even though I knew I'd made the right choice.

Anyway, I think the point I'm trying to make is that I struggled with having made the choice to have a termination, even though I knew it was right for me. I have never regretted my choice, I'm still with the same partner and we have a lovely life, which I don't think we'd have if we'd had the child

 

[Pushyplumb]

It really is a very hard decision for anyone to make and so sad that there is still such a stigma around talking about it. I had mine 22 years ago. It wasn't an easy decision. One I very nearly didn't go through. I have told very few people about it but was surprised that with the ones I did share it with one had already had one and then another had one a few years after I told her about mine.

At the time I felt so alone. Thinking of you all and sending love.

 

[Saddlesoap]

Never had one, but read with interest.
Still such a stigma around abortion, and their shouldn't be. Reading though it was nice to see so much honesty and care.

 

[Hammmmmmms]

I have recently had an abortion (2 weeks ago) and I’m Really struggling I’ve took time off work to deal with the situation as to be honest I really didn’t want to go ahead but for financial reasons and already having two children 5&6 and my partner having a 7yr old the practicality of it seemed impossible. I’m now riddled with guilt and I’m triggered by every Facebook/instagram post if people announcing pregnancies. I’ve cried most days and I can feel my partner getting sick of me as my mood swings are all over. I can’t help but keeping thinking of the what ifs/how many weeks I would have been now. I’m awaiting counselling from BPAS & works private healthcare but I can’t help but feel so down and depressed. I’m dreading taking the pregnancy test next week to confirm the abortion was successful. I’m mentally torturing myself and I really don’t know where to go from here. Any advice would be really appreciated

 

[gummy-bear]

I have recently had an abortion (2 weeks ago) and I’m Really struggling I’ve took time off work to deal with the situation as to be honest I really didn’t want to go ahead but for financial reasons and already having two children 5&6 and my partner having a 7yr old the practicality of it seemed impossible. I’m now riddled with guilt and I’m triggered by every Facebook/instagram post if people announcing pregnancies. I’ve cried most days and I can feel my partner getting sick of me as my mood swings are all over. I can’t help but keeping thinking of the what ifs/how many weeks I would have been now. I’m awaiting counselling from BPAS & works private healthcare but I can’t help but feel so down and depressed. I’m dreading taking the pregnancy test next week to confirm the abortion was successful. I’m mentally torturing myself and I really don’t know where to go from here. Any advice would be really appreciated

I’m not in the same situation but I did have an abortion last June and did struggle with guilt afterwards. I found people announcing pregnancies difficult too and quite a few friends told me they were pregnant around the same time which gave me mixed reactions.
however within a few months I felt a lot more clear headed about the situation - it was a tough choice to make but it was the right one for me. You’re totally allowed to know it was correct for you and your family but also feel sadness around the circumstances.
my advice is to be kind to yourself and to try and avoid triggering situations, maybe take some time away from social media as I do think it’s unhelpful with something like this. There is no wrong or right way to feel with this but take it day by day. I hope things get a bit brighter xx