Dating after Lockdown

[realhousewivewannabe]

Yesterday i started following one of my crushes (lol) on Instagram and he followed back and started a conversation. I was embarrassingly excited

haha

Hinge is the only one I've not tried so far, I might give it a go now

i tried hinge last year but didn’t like it personally as I just got weirdos liking my photos. Please report back

 

[Monkeybum]

I agree with this.

I used to go on dates 48 hours within matching and talking because who wants a pen pal?!

Sooner rather than later so if they’re not “it” or you don’t fancy them you’ll can put them in the ASAP

Haha me

I usually have a very busy social calendar so never want to give up a night with friends for a night out with a bloke I don't know. So was thinking this would be a good chance to decide if it's worth it

Really interesting hearing other viewpoints. And I've said we can chat in a few days

 

[coconochanel]

I definitely think there's a lot more sliding into people's DMs on Instagram going on nowadays

Oh a 100% .

Here's a dilemma, what do you do if you like a couple of pics on a guys IG account then release his has two accounts and he is active on the older one?

 

[bobthedragqueen]

he’s sodding liked me again.
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I don’t know what the background story is but he gives me partial barbie vag.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’d just say I’m too busy at the moment but you hope they find what they’re looking for.

I wouldn’t mention other options.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I usually wait for them to start up the convo. So if they like me, I will match and then wait for them to message. If they don't within 24 hours, I delete (told you I'm being harsh!).

I do occasionally start the conversation up though if I see something I really like on their profile and don't want them to get away so to speak.

Harsh, but I like it!! I’ve put my hinge account back to public and I had 2 matches from before Xmas and neither of them had messaged me, so i deleted the match.

 

[halfawake8]

[

Sorry to let you down buddy, erm cobber, um mate, but I'm as British as the Union Jack and bowler hat . I'd be interested to know what made you think that, though.

Think you mean ‘Duck’ if your from Nottm way! Me too! Fancey meeting a fellow east midlander on here!

 

[Caramel Latte]

How did your ‘not technically a date’ go?
It sounds like you could be incompatible if his self assessment and yours are accurate, I know it’s tough but maybe just focus on getting to know eachother as friends without thinking too long term, especially as your background means you’d have to stay platonic until marriage?

In my personal experience people who self proclaim to be ‘straight forward’ or ‘blunt’ can translate to ‘opinionated arsehole who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings’

As a shy person i was still laughing/making jokes/smiling. He was trying to be amusing as well.
The next day (yesterday) he texted me saying how shy i was, i asked him if it's a good thing he said just be yourself blah blah.
Then later that day i texted him about something he said on the date and he thought i was overreacting (i was, and i acknowledged it and said maybe cuz I'm just naïve)

Today he hasn't made an effort to start a conversation, his replies were so serious, and he brought up me being mad at silly things and high maintenance, based on the fact that I'm a sensitive person and sensitive people are high maintenance.
I was offended as i wasn't really mad at him in the first place, i was just asleep and didn't reply to his "hey" in the morning....

I had high hopes on this guy as I've had a crush on him for so long, and i didn't want it to end this way with HIM ignoring me

Also i realized i rambled so much but honestly I'm just embarrassed that I'm being treated this way idk how to vent with my bff

 

[alwayslurkin]

I don't have personal social media accounts for combination of privacy concerns, job related privacy due to working with young people and cyber bullied years ago and i worried when im ready to start dating it will make me seem shady (if my other traits dont already!)

I just got to the point now where if they have an issue with it, it's their loss ahaha

I understand why they get sus but then I'm open to meeting etc. So it isn't like I don't have socials AND don't want to meet

 

[leapricot]

Hello everyone,

I have been reading this thread silently since day 1 and I would really like some advice on my own situation...

I met a guy through Hinge beginning of August. The conversation pre-first date was just great. Long messages, I could feel he was interesting, funny and intelligent. So first date went super well, we kissed at the end, he told me he felt that there was a connection and that we would see each other again.
The thing to know about him is that he has a full time job that he does from home in Birmingham (Monday to Friday) and started a food business where he has a pop up thingy in London every single weekend so he basically doesn't have time off.
The only times we can see each other is between Sunday night and Wednesday night.

So after the first date, everything was perfect, the texts, the following dates. We connect on every single level and it feels amazing to feel liked and not ghosted. I was in France beginning of September and, as soon as I came back, he came to my place and told me how excited he was to see me.

You are going to tell me: Then what are you complaining about?

Well, for the past 3 weeks, he has been EXTREMELY busy with both of his jobs. He barely can make time to see me. As he said, the only free time he gets, he's giving it me. He told me how worried he was that we got serious so quickly (we didn't make things official so we are not technically bf and gf but we are exclusive) because he is just scared that he can't make time for me. He told me that his situation when we met was so different (he had a lot more time) to his current one and he didn't expect his food business to be so popular. He also said that as much as he likes me he is wondering whether to just be single as he can't handle everything. But then when we said goodbye, he just told me that we will see how things go so either he is a coward or he doesn't want it to end.
For the past week or 2, his texts have been very scarce and not as passionate. (fyi, I am not the annoying texter type, I won't double text or what but last week, I haven't had a text for 3 days...). He hasn't really asked to see me nor asked much about me, how's my week or day been. I am not trying to find him excuses but I think he's just struggling to find time for all the things happening in his life. And I don't want to become a burden to him.

So what do you all think of the situation? Should I just wait and not worry too much? I told him that we really don't need to rush things as we have all the time in the world. His work situation will eventually become better because he will either only keep one job or Corona will force his food business to close for a bit (seeing the direction restrictions are taking...).
I don't want to be spending my life waiting for him but I feel like because we connect so much, it would be such a shame to just give it all up. The fact that we also only see each other on weekdays is very limiting in terms of having days out together and build something etc but once again, it will probably work itself out in a few months.

Sorry for the novel but I really want to have some outside POV on this.

Thanks for those who have read that far

 

[coconochanel]

I Second this, have you? Fingers crossed..

Nope.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

For some reason I thought you were American or Australian

Sorry to let you down buddy, erm cobber, um mate, but I'm as British as the Union Jack and bowler hat . I'd be interested to know what made you think that, though.

 

[leapricot]

Good for you girl - keep him on the back burner and keep looking around. I’m sceptical but i met my boyfriend on bumble and he has a very busy international job and once got a taxi straight from
Heathrow to meet me for two hours after a 14 hour flight. Not trying to sound like a dick but if someone is super keen and sees a future with you they’ll make it happen, at least with some amazing texting and phone calls in the times when you can’t see eachother physically.

If this isn’t true love, I don’t know what this is .
but you are so right in everything you said.

thanks for all your advice guys )

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I started this thread and I’m now living vicariously through everyone’s posts I’ve not been on a date in so long (a year) I’m blaming covid for ruining my life

I checked it last week and it was the first account that came up when I typed his name in then when I went to go and add him after the date today it was gone. We spoke briefly once we had both got home and then he went to bed. The arrangements for tomorrow where only mentioned before we went our separate ways earlier. He does have insta but it's got nothing on it.

Does it come as “user not found”on Instagram !?? That’s crazy if he blocked you.

google or ask one of your friends to type his name up on Facebook to see if it comes up.

This is sounding fishy

 

[Bellaboo83]

Don’t go looking for love. It will come to you when it’s ready x


Does sound like a 5 year itch situation... I’d be nosey and ask for more info

Yes that's what I thought! He said they all mutually fell out of love at that point, he did make a point earlier though that he left his last relationship . He seems okay apart from that... Maybe I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.... For now

 

[Strawberry-pot]

Should I mention we went to the same school?

Did you hear back?

 

[sleepflowers]

I’ve heard about this. How do I do that?

I usually screenshot the images on the app, then upload them here - https://tineye.com/ and it will show you if they're on a website somewhere. I don't think it includes Instagram which is disappointing. Anything that looks like a bad quality screenshot which they've stolen off some poor guy always rings my alarm bells!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Firstly, sorry to hear you are feeling this way. This happened to me. I was with my ex for 5 years, ended it because I couldn't cope with his abusive behaviour anymore. I, like you, left the relationship with no self confidence because of him. Fast forward a couple of years, and I saw that he had moved on and was with someone new. When I first saw it, it hurt and I also felt like he'd won because I was single and he looked happy. However their relationship didn't last, and in my head I know for a fact he'll have treated her the same way as he did me in the end. People like that don't change, and once the honeymoon period is over, other people start to see them for what they really are.

It's now 5 years on, he is single. I am with the most amazing guy who treats me like a queen and tells me every day how special and loved I am. I know it hurts now, but trust me your time will come

Thank you for this! I really appreciate it

 

[Chattyman321]

Okay gang I need some advice. So I got tinder (think I posted about this last weekend) anyway met two guys from there and have been texting, seem to get on really well with one. So I went on a date last night, we went for a distanced walk along the seafront, coffee then had dinner (takeaway fish and chips). We don’t know each other before at all but during the evening he grabbed me and kissed me. now I feel like we seemed “click” but I was really taken aback brazenness to kiss someone you don’t know, in a pandemic???? has anyone dealt with this before. I get he lives alone and isn’t seeing people (or so he says yanooo men lie) but I’m actually a bit he also has started to call me bub babe and baby in texts

(I know there’s a chance some may be angry I went on this date, if you’ve read my posts before please know it’s hard out here and I really do/ have done everything to obey the rules)

We’ve already said we want to see each other again and I have agreed to see him tomorrow but I don’t know I just feel some sort of way now this morning we kinda said we could end up bubbling too but I feel weird af this morning honestly. Also feels like we’ve done 0-50 in an evening.

Sounds like a really nice date - and yep it’s been a year since the pandemic started, so give yourself a break! I got freaked out cos I went for a walk with this guy from tinder and he hugged me bye before I could do anything! But it’s hard at the moment so don’t feel guilty! Meet him again and see how you feel, you clearly got along the first time!

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Now wouldn’t a tattle love story be nice!

Single man, what are you looking for in the tattle love of your life??

Female (not trans-men, sorry); Leicester or Nottingham area; last but not least, superhuman patience!