Dating after lockdown #8 Tinder, completed it!

[BekkaBoo]

Yep I agree. I hope they go off to another thread now tbh as we had a good vibe on here before!

Is the planned meet up going ahead?

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I’d agree with judging them purely by how frequently they normally text you. I went on a date a few months ago with a guy who used to reply to messages within 5 minutes or less, he even made a point of saying on his profile that he was an immediate replier. I remember thinking at the time that he was making a rod for his own back with that statement

Sure enough, after we met for the first time, his immediate replying dwindled down to a few hours between responses and not really asking any of the same questions he’d ask before we met (how my day was going and whether I’d remembered to eat which I always thought was super cute). It was immediately obvious that something was wrong or he wasn’t feeling it so in the end I stopped replying altogether as I felt like I was forcing it. He’d asked to see me again too which was at complete odds with the way he acted immediately afterwards

Mr Perfect didn't message a huge amount pre date. I don't know, I'm definitely over thinking things.
However, I don't think I'll be able to cope with how good looking he is.
I might just sleep with him for the experience and then move on.

 

[Bettyboo2021]

It doesn't sound like he is just polite at all.
He seems really nice.

I think you could make it easier for him if you make a few more suggestions, eg he asked you if you prefer lunch or dinner and you said "I don't mind". This leaves it all to him to a) decide whether it is going to be lunch or dinner and b) find a place.

Right now I picture you as this girl in "The Notebook" and Ryan Gosling shouting at you "What do you want??"

Haha yes I think I’m super hesitant now because last few days I haven’t had a response to my last message so I’ve been the one to text the next day (in effect, double texting) xx

Just say something like "I'm just looking at my diary to see about our date, how does Friday for dinner work for you?"

Obviously change date to whatever suits but it is a bit more solid than leaving it up in the air with an "I don't mind"

He’s been really quiet on the messages last few days...so when I asked that yesterday I was kind of protecting myself I guess....I haven’t heard off him since yesterday the text i sent About the collie...if I send another one now that’ll be 3rd day in a row of double texting...literally I haven’t had a date since with anyone (except him last week) since January...I do really like him from the short lunch date we had...I never seem to be “that girl” that guys are really fired up for- always feel like the filler or the one before the one like men don’t really ever fancy me loads, they just usually end up saying I’m a nice girl just not for them

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Does blue tick just mean delivered and not opened?

 

[ATV2021]

But now look at you

True that.... lol I just deleted everything and I'm like whatever

 

[Sheabutter]

I am blonde with straight hair. I'm not skinny and never will be as I have HIPS but I'm "normal sized" but alas I am tall which limits my pool. I dress feminine because I like it. I wear makeup because I like it. I do things to make ME feel good. But according to that this is why I'm single I don't play games because I don't wanna mess with people's feelings despite what they do to me... maybe I need to be a stepford wife type lol


Also saw this mentioned in a review lol

I genuinely don’t remember those comments on natural appearances! I don’t think there’s anything to them. But again, I was not recommending this book for its dating advice. They apply some of the rules to friendships.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Thank you. I was going to say this.

Again, happy to provide evidence if you'd like me to.

 

[Bettyboo2021]

You should never tell someone they are quiet or ask why they are. Just pop up, say hello and ask how they are/their day is. My friends call it fishing

At this point after the phone call with vets I’ve just I don’t care enough to reply

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Sorry I couldnt imagine being with someone who does coke at the age of 57

I feel the same, but he’s one of those super wealthy, powerful alpha men. And I’ve always ended up mothering losers, so not sure what to do.

 

[ATV2021]

I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know it was against the rules and couldn’t remember whether it was happening or not . I put it in my calendar and everything . moving swiftly on..
this is what I’ve had!

As had I but then told off so not allowed

I'm doing ballet in my kitchen hahaha too much wine for me!!

 

[HelloStereo]

I’m having a gin - can I still join wine night?


I think it will be completely reasonable for you to say to him that if anything like this happens again, you would appreciate just a quick message to say “hey, this has happened, I’ll message you when I can”.
It’s important to communicate and establish boundaries. Hopefully he’ll get in touch soon and have a valid reason for disappearing

I hope so. And thank you as sometimes I am unsure of what is reasonable or not. I've not known him for long I know but for him to go completely off radar I think owes some sort of warning?

 

[Thank(space)you]

@Thank(space)you I can't not say this - honestly your life sounds so dramatic I don't understand where you find all these people that do this shit to you

I'm not really sure how to respond to that? I can send screen shots if you want of the conversation last night?

 

[RDay]

I'm sorry I got completely confused, can someone explain what happened please??

 

[Bettyboo2021]

Life’s about compromise I made a joke out of it so if he knocks me back it’s not an actual rejection per say

 

[ATV2021]

I use to believe all the nice stuff they told me at the start so don't feel silly about that. Good people don't expect other people to be so insincere.
He didn't tell you last weekend because he is a big coward and couldn't say it to your face.
Lets just hope he gets a good kick in the balls tomrrow during his precious football

Yeah I really let my guard down and decided to trust him. Thought as a bit older etc wouldn't be as much of a jerk but alas. He even said earlier when he initially just cancelled on meeting that he would ring me tomorrow? Why? To drag me on another day?? I'm honestly so disappointed I think.

 

[StrawberryCream]

There was a suggestion that Bunny may be stretching the truth, she got very cross and hasn’t reappeared.

There was also a suggestion that she may be one of a couple of people (Thunderfook/Professor Farnsworth/Mulholland Drive) who have previously stretched the truth here and on other threads historically.

Hopefully we can move on now!

Niamh, how are you feeling today after managing to ignore your ex yesterday? Stay strong

I don’t think bunny is mulholland or thunderfook, their account was made sept last year, actually a year ago today funnily enough

 

[LittleBird]

Right, I'd be the very one to tell others on this thread to calm down and not over think stuff but here it goes.
Mr Perfect messaged me last night, we only exchanged a few messages. And when the chat was over he was still online for ages afterwards.
He hasn't messaged today ...yet, which is fine.
But what's everyone's attitude when it comes to messaging. What do you all expect?
Also after a first date when they have asked to see you again, when would you expect them to bring that up again.
Also when is it too soon to sleep with someone...he's so hot

I am usually an overthinker when it comes to messaging but the guy I'm seeing would rather chat in person than text so some days I might not hear at all and others he messages/voicenotes throughout the day. I think it depends on the person too as he always is making sure we have something in to see each other and is quite proactive with making plans (which I've never had before ).

When it comes to sleeping with them... I'd seize the opportunity as soon as it's available .

 

[Thank(space)you]

Here's a couple of the messages

I don't think anyone is implying that you're lying.

Thank you, it just came across that way to me

 

[ATV2021]

Does blue tick just mean delivered and not opened

Oh ok. Thank you.

Just to add to the fun....some people can turn off blue ticks too so will always stay grey! Lol

Unless they have switched off their read receipts then it'll always sit on 2 x grey marks

Ah snap lol

 

[Curlygirld]

Here's a couple of the messages


Thank you, it just came across that way to me

Are they both from him?