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whathastheworldcometo

whathastheworldcometo

VIP Member
HelloStereo said:
Haha it was probably more the beers but also me. We were friends for five years beforehand and he knew how I felt.

I was so excited about the date and had it all planned out. Then he was ill and at the time I thought it was genuine and let him rest in my bed for a while giving him water. Eventually I walked him back to the station.

A few days later I asked how he was feeling and suggested some activities towards the end of the month and he was sort of evasive. Then he got a girlfriend a few months later when I guess his stomach had settled.

Sometimes it still smarts because I had been his friend for so long and I think I was so good to him and it still wasn't enough. Especially how it ended where when I pointed out he was evasive I got a "fuck you. I'm going to ignore you from now on".

But nevermind. There are better out there for me
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I think his reaction shows that he is well aware that his behaviour was shady.

I can relate to how you feel. This feeling of "not good enough" is very familiar to me.

Maybe he just had a different type? Maybe he is turned on by a different hair colour and a less caring and genuine personality.

Essentially it has nothing to do with him.
 
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Bettyboo2021

Chatty Member
hereforthememe said:
If someone said "I don't mind" to me, then came back with a specific day/activity I'd be thrilled and won't see it as being too pushy
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I’m scared of asking in case I get a “thanks but I’ve been thinking (hence the silence) and I’m not into it” I don’t think I’m up to the rejection at the mo 🙈🙈
 
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alwayssotired

New member
Hello everyone!😊

I have been lurking a while and feel pleased that I am not alone in having shit luck with contemporary dating, though I also wish that it wasn't like this for everyone! I love reading this thread and I resonate with so many of you.

I have a slightly messy situation. An on-off ex (7 years) who I very recently (two weeks ago) got back together with. I love him very much but will give it until the end of the year to see if it works as he still doesn’t want marriage and kids and due to medical issues I sort of need to get pregnant asap :’(

My concern atm is how to deal with 2nd guy:
Second guy I’ve been seeing for nearly 3 years, casually it turns out, though I thought it was more due to the extreme breadcrumbs (love this term) from him and his hot-cold behaviour and words, saying he’s allegedly exclusive with me (pandemic helped that! as i found out a year after the fact that he was seeing other people for a long time) and now seemingly slow fade (love this term too!) as I started sticking up for myself and calling him out on his rude/disrespectful behaviour (e.g. last time he arranged a date he didn’t let me know it was cancelled until after it had started and I had asked him twice if it was still on). I would say at some stage I was falling in love with him though that's faded a long while ago due to his behaviour.

I now don’t see any future with 2nd guy, due to age gap (19 years), he’s moving abroad again (though said he wants me to visit him and said also I could live there when getting health care assistance- though I now don’t believe anything he says as his words are empty), he’s a selfish rude prick, and he doesn’t want to to commit being with me, just lots of empty promises and alluding to wanting to! He’s very well-equipped downstairs and it made me ignore all red-flags plus he was a good distraction from my ex, plus I’m too kind, patient, and believe what people tell me so let it run on for longer than it should have :(

I’d normally otherwise do a slow fade/flat out ignore him and have been trying to as at this stage I don’t even want to be friends with someone as self-centred as him, however I have significant health issues that he has said I could get sorted quicker in the country he’s moving to than via the NHS as he knows people. I didn’t ask for this help and he mentioned it off his own accord.

I am meant to see him for dinner on Monday. I don’t really want to, however do you guys think I should continue seeing him to give him the use to see if I can get help, or just lead him on and pretend I’m late then never show up and then ignore? He usually books me an uber so would be hard to lie about location and we go to expensive restaurants though, so maybe I’ll treat myself to a nice free meal and then break it to his face (after receiving my birthday present and further word on any potential health help) that I’ve got a bf so bye to the fantastic sex, and that I can't stand his self-centred, rude behaviour anyway?

Advice very appreciated because I have basically not told anyone my situation due to judgement from in the past seeing more than one guy at once plus also trying dating apps (omg they’re horrendous these days!!!) and also lying to literally everyone about having stopped seeing second guy though up until recently (June) it was still sexual.
 
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hereforthememe

Chatty Member
LaurieLaurie said:
End of the first day.. I don’t want to go through with it.. Exactly why I never said anything to him 🤣

Depression aside I adore him and he isn’t like anyone else I have dated. He treats me like his ‘dream girl’ and the sex is on fire, I just hate seeing someone I care about in a bad place but he’s trying hard to get out of it.

Anyone else dramatic for 10 minutes and then get over it? 😅
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Me all the time 😂 it's why I often will not say how I feel as I know it's the hormones and not actually me
 
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Bettyboo2021

Chatty Member
HelloStereo said:
I understand ♥. I am not so close with my family either and it's only in later years one parent has ever shown me any affection. I know how it feels to be completely self reliant and not really know how to demonstrate affection for people. Then you find one person who you feel understands you on a deeper level and it's so rare you attach yourself to them no matter what they do.

But you also have us here who can give an outside perspective which hopefully helps. No one here has said it would be too forward if you asked him, and you have given us screenshots so we have the whole story. I just think you being scared to open yourself up to him means you are sending messages he could take as a lack of interest.

Did he reply to your message? xxx
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Thank you that means a lot 💕💕💕no reply as yet...got a feeling I won’t get one like everyone’s said it could be construed as passive aggressive..I didn’t mean it to be. It’s like that whole “tell me without telling me” thing I know xxx
 
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NoseyNiamh

VIP Member
square_spoon said:
Aw maybe Mr Coffee is just embarrassed and will come around. The cokehead can go and…
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Hopefully you're right. The messages weren't pervy or anything and I responded to a few of them and then changed the subject.
If he is just looking for a bit of fun I'd prefer if he just said that, the guy is so so hot so I'd be more than happy to oblige 😂😂
 
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realhousewivewannabe

realhousewivewannabe

VIP Member
can I join the wine chat?! 😂😂😂 I’m using it as ✨education✨
BekkaBoo said:
funny how Thunderfook is known to those who only recently joined the thread too.
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I kinda disagree though, TF showed up a few threads ago and the name always rang in my head as I never got the futurama reference… and her advice was a bit hard for me 🙃
There’s been loads of new comers but who’s the MD South African?!
 
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