Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

latranla said:

No and quite frankly I would be happy to just drive a 10-15k car, it’s just more as my husband wanted it too, also I know my threads getting lots of hate but I’m just being honest … plus alot of it I think is to do with what you are used to being around, this area of Buckinghamshire where I now live has quite alot of wealthy people with nice things who work hard and generally quite ambitious with their careers or businesses … compared to where I grew up in London and the circles I used to hang around , in fact I don’t think hardly anyone I went to school with earns more than 30k some I think may even be on benefits / council housing.

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You can tell that you live off someone else’s money as your grammar is atrocious!
For what it’s worth, the next village to us is Millionaire’s Row. There’s serious, serious money there. The kind of money that you probably still aspire to. I’m talking very very high end cars and multiples of them, not the Chelsea Tractor you drive that are ten a penny. There’s housing a little bit further out that’s also into the millions. Until recently there was a current England Rugby international living round here.

There’s a fair amount of money here but there’s also a lot of tradespeople. And I know from my line of work that tradespeople can make one heck of a lot of money (although some more than others) No doubt you would look down on them but blimey, I tell you what, sometimes I think I’m in the wrong job here.
It’s not just all about being ambitious with ‘careers and businesses’ desperate people will pay more for an emergency plumber, electrician or roofer than they will for some emergency business support or marketing.

And so what if none of your old friends earn more than 30k? At least they have the self respect of earning their own money and not living off someone else.

Yes, absolutely. What does their wage have to do with them as a person? What if they won lotto? Or what if you met someone super-rich who then lost it all?

I look at the person rather than what they have or earn.

Rippedjeanmaybe said:

Oh yes they’ve got to be decent respectful opinions! Not distasteful judgmental tripe about people shopping in bloody primark of all places

anyway I’m going to pack, nipping off to Maga in my jet later

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Belle Amie said:

View attachment 1973183
This the Porsche you speak of.
Porsche is the new Range Rover basic bitch car, you’ll see at least 5 a day on the road 🥱
Come back when you’re driving a Lamborghini or a Ferrari - something rare

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Don’t have a desire for them high end cars.. my husband does though , I like 4x4s as it’s also easier as I have a baby!
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Rippedjeanmaybe said:

It’s not getting to people, people are just embarrassed for you because no one can seriously be this embarrassing and vile in equal measures. What a vapid human being you sound.

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Begborrowsteal said:

Wow.

So keeping up with the Jones for you? Bucks isn't any fancier than pockets of elsewhere fwiw. Where I live one side of the street is Housing Association properties and the other is £1m+ houses. Same in London. I grew up in a 'ghetto' as many called it, but down the back roads, you had sought after £m+ houses owned by the rich. Location means fuck all.

A lot of people, working people, are receiving benefit top ups to survive the cost of living. Its really not an alien concept that they 'may even be on benefits'.

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Again nothing wrong with so long as they are not Jeremy Kyle types who just can’t be bothered to work , I’m just saying I would not want to live like that as I like nice things and you don’t get nice things by not having money , I need at least 3 decent holidays a year to help me stay mentally sane all of which requires money and I’m not talking about a holiday to butlins or magaluf !

Rippedjeanmaybe said:

Also love the fact that OP commented on the “does the money buy you happiness” thread stating that they didn’t have much when they were younger, but now they’re older they do…

so basically they’ve married someone who earns a higher wage and now they’ve turned into a braggy twat that looks down their nose at the people that are in the position they used to be.

It was okay for OP to drive a Skoda when they were younger, but god help anyone who decides to drive a “modest” car now

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And just over a year ago they were living in a flat Sounds like BS to me

Maybe if you’d had to work hard to pay for your luxury car and 3 holidays a year instead of marrying someone with money, you would have a bit more humility and class!

I’m 31 and in my early to mid-twenties had a partner who was doing very well for themselves, their career needed a lot of support and I guess mine took a backseat, he ended up very addicted to drugs, lots of drama, we split. I’d gotten used to having stuff paid for me and the future plans of wealth and although I had a degree and I’m quite intelligent I didn’t really have a path and wasn’t on great money so decided (stupidly) I needed a partner who earned more than me, owned their house, nice car etc. Messed around with a couple of footballers and I wasn’t interested in “regular” guys.

Anyways, I met my current partner and because he was just a “regular” guy and didn’t own his home (I didn’t either so bit cheeky to have that in my criteria) I planned to never let it get serious. Well… he’s my best friend and rock and there’s nobody else in the world like him. He’s gotten a much better job since we’ve been together and I’ve found my path too so we’ll both eventually be on decent money BUT before he had I had decided that I would be the breadwinner and was fine with that. He’s not as ambitious as me, I will work 14 hour days to get what I want and he just wants to do the bare minimum (not lazy just doesn’t want to waste his life working) and actually sometimes we balance each other out nicely. I guess it’s all down to individuals/personalities/outlooks. There’s a lot of stuff online about not being with a “broke” guy but I prefer to live my life knowing that if I split up from my partner tomorrow I wouldn’t suffer financially and materially because heartbreak is bad enough as it is. I’m very pessimistic though.

Is all I have to say to you

A person's job does not define them.

What if they were working for an organisation such as Doctors Without Borders where a lot of it would arguably be for free? I'd be inclined to look up to someone like that with huge admiration.

Many years ago I dated a greedy banker. He made an absolute fortune and had the latest and greatest of everything, but was mean through and through. It didn't last very long as he repulsed me, often boasting about how he was going to take someone down and ruin them. I just looked him up - he's a Consultant involved in mergers and acquisitions. He looks miserable. Oh well.
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Snippysnips said:

Am also curious to know what people would think if someone did earn high but didn't spend it, just because they are pulling in good money doesn't mean to say it's going to be a fancier lifestyle

My dad worked oil rigs for years, but tbh we were no better off than if he just worked at home on min wage because all his money was an still is locked up in savings, we mostly go by on my mum's wage, I'd actually have preferred if he did just work at home because he missed absolutely everything with me growing up, bdays, first an last school days, performances etc, the first new year he ever spent with us I was 19 an the first bday he was home for was my 21st

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That would worry me as in they were saving for a rainy day, retirement, or whatever, but what if that day never came? We never know what's around the corner for us, and you can't take it with you.

When a friend's mother passed, it turned out she had heaps of money in the bank, yet lived very frugally and often went without. It's mind boggling. Everything in moderation.

I have a friend who worked in advertising and got really burnt out; they're now working in a supermarket bakery which is perfect as they're an amazing baker, creative, and are learning a new skill. The money is terrible, but they manage to make their money work for them really well by doing a lot of free things (bike riding, walking, etc.). Their outlook on life now is also a heck of a lot more positive than it used to be when they were in this stressful job earning mega bucks.

It doesn’t really bother me what my partner earns. I think people, especially women now always want these high earning men who are going to give them a lifestyle. A lot of my female friends are like this just going after men with businesses etc. Before I met my partner I was on my own for 8 years and a single mum and worked for the NHS, so I guess I’ve got used to not being dead flush and I wouldn’t expect to of met someone or look for someone who earns over a certain amount to equate a good relationship because money doesn’t mean happiness. Went on plenty of dates with what I guess you could say were well off ambitious men and mostly found them obnoxious always going on about their jobs, their car, their mortgage etc.

latranla said:

Nothing just not a car I desire personally ! My first car was a Toyota though , I have to admit , was reliable though just does not scream luxury!

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My business partner drives a Toyota ... Corolla! It's not even brand new, or hybrid! (I think it's about four years old).

And do you know what? She has so many business ventures going that it would make any sane person dizzy. She is self-made and extremely successful.

Something else you might not be familiar with, is that genuinely wealthy people often don't appear flashy. She certainly doesn't. She dresses beautifully but you won't see her wearing anything that has the logo blasted all over the garments.

Then there's the CEO who lives nearby me who rides his e-bike to work - would you be judging him as poor if you saw him?

Just read this whole thread after replying. F me you sound like a prick. I normally find the ones driving focus’ happier than those with hefty mortgages and driving range rovers happier and content because they’re not constantly living beyond their means. I’ve got friends who live that lifestyle of giant Audis, always eating out and drinking at fancy bars and restaurants and they’re mostly always maxed out on credit and worried about money and needing more and more. It’s like people who wear designer stuff, who is it really for? Mostly to impress others and convince people they’re well off hence why loads of idiots buy counterfeit 🫣

Snippysnips said:

I honestly find it funny people are looking down on others for a car choice, why not pick a car just because you like it? I said before we mostly got by on my mum's wage cause my dad's money is all tied up in savings but when it come to buying things like the house or car he would, he outright bought the house no mortgage at 250k, an he could easily go into any porche or jaguar etc an buy the latest model if he wanted to, but he's perfectly happy with his vauxhall corsa

I also think tbh it's nothing to do with anyone what others choose to do with their money, it's theirs not yours, if I were to marry someone who was wealthy, it's got nothing to do with me how they choose to spend it, so long as they were paying their half in rent/mortgage, bills an food etc then how they choose to spend the rest is up to them an I'd expect the same respect, my dad always made sure to cover what his part was in my parents marriage but anything extra it was his decision, if my mum wanted to spoil us with unnecessary things then it was her money she needed to use

Am also curious to know if being in a job with no desire to move means you aren't "bettering yourself" I for one loved my old job an would have been happy to stay, why move to something I hate just because someone else thinks I have no ambition or drive to get better, I was damn good at my job an that was enough

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In not-so-recent times people actually saved up to buy things - shame more don't do it that way now. In doing so, they bought what they could afford. I respect someone more for buying something than can afford rather than to keep up with what everyone else is doing - who can really be bothered with all that anyway.

I could be considered wealthy by some (I own my apartment, car and a share in two businesses outright), but poor to others (I left my cushy office job to become a part-time barista; I live in an apartment, not a house). I couldn't give two hoots what people think of me; but in saying that, I'm slightly older than I suspect the OP is.
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latranla said:

As in range was my second car and now I drive the a Porsche ! The range was my first luxury car was the point I’m trying to make and even though I miss the Toyota I would fine it really hard going back to a basic brand !

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Do you know why a "basic" brand is so popular? It might have something to do with the fact that its maintenance and running costs remain affordable.

Whereas your dinky little Porsche is no doubt a huge gas guzzler and costs and arm and leg to maintain.

I hope your rich husband can find it in his heart to get you a helicopter so you can figuratively and literally rise above the peasants.
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unidentified said:

I am of two minds with this. I’m a single parent who owns their own house (mortgaged) and if I can manage to get through uni and save enough for a house deposit as a single parent I expect the same. I’ve always said someone ambitious too. However, there’s a balance with that. I have no desire to be with someone whose work is their entire life. Family must come first to me. As another poster said, you could be on minimum wage but do a rewarding job. That would show more about that person’s character than their salary. One thing I would admire is how they manage money. I don’t want to be with someone who has debt other than the usual house/car. That would be a major red flag and a no go to me. I’ve always saved 10% of my monthly take home (changes each month) as a minimum.

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This, 100%!

The 'other debt' would make me worry more. If it's business debt that would be fine, but if it's debt incurred through stuff like fines or reparation of some sort then nope; definitely a no-go zone.

This thread makes me laugh. The richest person I know (talking billionaire here) drives a Ford focus, and his wife drives a Volvo estate their kids wear second hand clothes off Vinted. Another friend who’s financially very very wealthy are coming on a haven caravan holiday with us later in the year - it was their idea.


In my experience, the people who drive fancy cars are either ‘new money’ and desperately trying to prove themselves, or financed up to their eyeballs. People who are truly rich and established don’t feel the need and just buy what’s reliable and functional.

It’s also very true what they say. Money doesn’t buy happiness

latranla said:

Don’t have a desire for them high end cars.. my husband does though , I like 4x4s as it’s also easier as I have a baby!
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Again nothing wrong with so long as they are not Jeremy Kyle types who just can’t be bothered to work , I’m just saying I would not want to live like that as I like nice things and you don’t get nice things by not having money , I need at least 3 decent holidays a year to help me stay mentally sane all of which requires money and I’m not talking about a holiday to butlins or magaluf !

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Jeremy kyle types you must be a troll.

latranla said:

That’s the point of the thread to discuss our lifestyle / financial , goals and desires in an honest way !

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So maybe your OP should have said that, instead of talking about marriage.

Does your husband know you'll likely divorce him if something happens to him and he is unable to work full time and earn the big bucks. Ew, and maybe be entitled to benefits?
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Borntorun said:

This thread makes me laugh. The richest person I know (talking billionaire here) drives a Ford focus, and his wife drives a Volvo estate their kids wear second hand clothes off Vinted. Another friend who’s financially very very wealthy are coming on a haven caravan holiday with us later in the year - it was their idea.


In my experience, the people who drive fancy cars are either ‘new money’ and desperately trying to prove themselves, or financed up to their eyeballs. People who are truly rich and established don’t feel the need and just buy what’s reliable and functional.

It’s also very true what they say. Money doesn’t buy happiness

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Yes, this seems very true of my estate. Every drive is filled with Range Rovers, Audi's, Minis. Yet the guy who owns the building company drives a Golf. He really is beyond loaded

Hang on, the Porsche is easier because OP has a baby and needs the space? Is it a Cayenne? Am now thinking of Carmela Soprano…

latranla said:

don’t get it I just stated I like nice things and don’t want to go back to driving an average car and have no desire to live average ( eg one holiday a year to
Magaluf and live in primark clothes my whole life ) I only mentioned the cars I owned as someone asked if I was an Audi driver ! That’s the point of the thread to discuss our lifestyle / financial , goals and desires in an honest way !

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You know what they say, money can’t buy class and that’s definitely true in your case (or grammar lessons apparently).

The title of this thread just makes me think of this story about Holly Willoughby. ”Omg are you POOR?”

When I married my husband I was out of work on sickness benefit. He was 25k in debt and not opening his mail. I opened his mail and typed out letters to all his debtors making arrangements te pay and he signed them. Took some years but we paid them all off repaired our credit. And as each one gradually paid off there was cause to celebrate.
The only thing you can be sure of in life is it never stays the same. You have good times and bad times. You have money and sometimes not. But starting off with no money and serious debts is not an indicator of where you will always be.

It might have changed but Doctors Without Borders pays you something like £500 a month according to the last surgeon who had done it I spoke to a few years ago.