Cleaning with Mario #96 Marion's had a right mare, letting Nathan Todd cut his hair #heyyouguys

[CrapEars]

I wonder where he keeps that big fuck off mop bucket

Derek has a bath in it I reckon.

 

[Shrekssister]

And in their promo section if you book teeth whitening over the phone and quote "Marios Mafia' you get 20% discount on your treatment - haud me back.

If I had a desk job and someone quoted Mario's mafia on the phone I'd be adding a 20% charge for ma trauma. Factual.

 

[Madge2022]

I know it's like watching your wean experience Christmas, just sheer joy

This is what ah think oaf when ah see this, Marion the maw watching his weans opening their presents huving a wee crissmas bucks fizz.

 

[Ferguson]

Sad little loser.
An amazing weekend for him so far.

Friday, ate out twice, one was a cheap breakfast, the other a steak using a voucher fae his minimum wage employer clients. had one glass of wine, tried to play a game that he couldn't understand. So threw it away. Watched Rocky horror.
Told us all how we need tae start living our lives fae now on.

Saturday, let us all ken how he's such an inspiration that, hunners of people are quitting their careers & years of training tae be mare like Mario. Went on a free bus journey, had a bowl of soup, Watched the cheap matinee performance of rocky horror, slagged off Dior, another free bus journey. Carried on his carefree wild fun weekend by getting a McDonald's at 10pm.

See what Sunday has in store for us.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

The chippy wis shut am ragin, wouldn’t get this type of treatment fae castlevechi

I need you to
get up! I'm counting on
you to show me who the
true survivors in this life
truly are! It lights a fire
under me to get up also!

Not ma quote, but we move. Tonsa blessing.

 

[sadsoupbowl]

Well hens it looks like Marion’s hairdresser is now mobile. Keep you power.

 

[no flouncing]

Can barely scrape 100 likes and comments on a grid post but expects us to believe there is 32k people watching his stories. Ok macaroni

 

[Shrekssister]

Good mornin ma lovelies hopefully on this dayn of dawn we get an announcement on the upcoming prince or princess of Beirut xx

 

[Mrsh2019]

Just leaving this here…..

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Right Ma lovelies, it’s ma Friday at work coz ahv goat a long weekend so am up, matchy matchy in 22 different colours and mop leg kicking ma way doon the runway! #treatit #goodtaemasel

Hope youse aw huv the best weekend, Al no be oan much so catch up oan Monday.

Tonsalove,
M xxx

 

[Babybail93]

Thanks tae @Madge2022 fae this week’s title wae the most votes

 

[Madge2022]

Well ma lovelies, ah thought his lack of poasting wiz because he wiz struggling wi his Gumtree ad fur the concrete blocks.

So ah went tae the trouble of writing him a bespoke ad even though it's no ma joab ...

I, Marion huv two byootiful bespoke chesterfield concrete sofas fur sale due tae me bagging another freebie. So ah'm gieing youse non influencers a chance of living in the lap oaf luxury.

Two seater oanly been used tae display ma hunners of cushions. Three seater huz been slept oan by megastar Hannah fae bankrupt AvaMay smellies. Huz been used as a bumming fort so huz a couple of hundred boaby joos and shart stains. Well febrezed.

Must be collected fae ma cosy safe place Beirut towers afore 8pm. Disclaimer: if your ear gets bitten aff in the close it's nuffin tae dae wi me.

 

[SuzyE]

What?!. Translate that in English.
He makes my head hurt with his stupid confusing posts

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

I get that Social work is an extremely stressful and under resourced job but giving up an actual career to become a cleaner for minimum wage (not slating cleaners here, they do a good job) because saint Marion has inspired them? Nah, that’s too much internet the day.

It won’t be an easy job to have for sure but there’s no way watching Martin post about wax melts and changing the bedding has inspired you to chuck it all in and work pt as a cleaner. No way. Not buying it. It’s not even like when he’s not at work that he’s away living his best life - he does absolutely zilch to make you think oh wow, I’m jealous, I must have that life

only think I’d like from martins life is to take his wee cat Rayn and give her the best life, away from all the wax melts & to have her very own cat tree

 

[Babybail93]

After the “little white company” bag reveal and now this poem I wonder if he’s going on a surrogacy journee. Baked bean rendall as the surrogate so aye relatively and so forth.

Could you imagine what it would look like? with her inhospitable womb and his radioactive baby batter.

 

[Ferguson]

To go to the mythical lands of 'abroad' our antihero must get on a boat or a plane. However, first he needs a passport and those people don't allow his contractual editorially controlled filters on photos. Factual and nae debates.

He could you'se this wan for his passport photo, nay filter but it was aboot 6 stone ago.

 

[laynelo_]

I love a dettol bath (IYKYK) but would never use it to clean because of my cat, why? Because it says it on the bloody back!

imbecile using it on his flairs right around Rayn. Poor wee cat defo can’t breathe in that hellhole.

 

[Freefalling]

Love how he changed his slippers 3 times for the wee Primani fashion show - the crocs, the genuine replica uggs and IKEA jobs

What a life, imagine living in that shit tip and buying high end brands, makes me howl with laughter. Can imagine them looking down their noses at people, sauntering along to the Quadrant swinging their designer bags. Honestly, not a pot to piss in but not a care in the world

 

[G&TGal II]

He's trying to make a point with his ott affection for Derek again
Sorry Maz, we're rooting for him and Domboi to get back together

View attachment 2045832

"I hold your little hands"

 

[Macmama]

Ma luvlies, do we think this is the year fur a wee abroad jurnee? Ahm honestly so investeted

- The jurnee tae the airport on the bus wae the new sootcase
- 6am treatit breakfast with a pint fur wee Deek so he doesn’t cry oan the plane
- Marion dancing doon the aisle tae Jess Glynn obvs
- Or mibbes he’ll be Ayrshire loyal and go tae Prestwick, so we’ll get a jurnee wae that small business Ryanair
- Marion sharting herself at 30000ft and destroying the onboard facilities
- Bespoke onboard tapas tray fur lunch
- Picture fae the plane door telling us it’s ho-at wae Marion in his woodlouse co-at
- Getting turned away at the border as Marion’s no got parental permission tae take Deek abroad

Martin, if ye want tae save yer dying page, look nae further than a trip tae that place abroad! We’d all watch! So aye!