Cleaning with Mario #85 Shartin’ Martin and the nightmare before Croc-mas

[menopausalmargrit]

This is getting worse by the day. By 1st December I expect there will be knitted dolls of him, Derek and Rayn.

Heres me and Mr Margrit booking things for London & New York in the coming weeks and he’s ejaculating over wire names.

 

[Madge2022]

Me too!
Literally I haven’t been this excited since Robbie made up with the rest of Take That!

As we aw ken I 'Marion' is quite the singer. He shud furget being an influencer oan that app that isnae his joab and become a tribute act called Jobby Williams.

 

[Hyacinthsquash]

Surely AMA doesn’t even sell that many wax melts these days? She only got big cause hinch and the insta huns frothed over her. Her melts are insanely expensive and so wasteful with all the bows and plastic etc. I don’t really use them but if i do ever buy wax then we have a lovely local shop, all hand poured and minimal packaging. Most of it is just loose wax and she wraps it in paper for you, some come in plastic and she gives a wee discount if you return the packaging to her. Plus she does a charity wax every month and donates the profits to charity. Imagine if Martin had done a charity collab and agreed to give some profits to an lgbtq charity.. or even a cat charity. But I suppose our passions are not his passions

 

[Cagayu]

How the hell have I missed this who are they shoes for

I’m an OG troll from 2018.
I was here from the dayn of dawn, three Christmas trees ago. Four cushion covers ago. Before the panelled walls and two gifted mirrors ago. Back before his crapet was installed by carpetkerr and he had mirrored furniture everywhere and a pink lampshade.

 

[One-of-hunners]

All that red and it still looks so cold and uninviting. My dentist reception looks more inviting with its plastic chairs and posters of teeth.

Severely disappointed there isn't 2 tress! That's ma Christmas ruined! Maybe at 11 he'll come on with his excuses cause I doubt he'll just admit it was a shite idea to start with.

Also Marion now you have a spare tree maybe donating it to a struggling new family this year? Ye know maybe do some good in the spirit of Christmas since your the Christmas kind.

 

[Babybail93]

Rayne’s Grotto!!! Well that’s me dead and buried the night ma loveleis. Ma poor weans are crying the noo. Thanks Maz!

 

[GreaseSpot]

SCREAMMMMMIIIINNNNGGGGG Home Bargains is now my official favourite shop Well done, who knew they were the biggest trolls

I especially liked how the letters on their Candy Cane Lane sign were uniformly spaced and all the same size
Getting maself into Rayns sleigh and sliding back into my own not candy cane lane

 

[peachy-keen]

Looks like a willy so aye

 

[DeloresBawbag]

I feel bad for him. Poor soul. Getting all sweaty and jittery with excitement at the thought of his candy cane catastrophe, acting faux defensive like he’s standing up for the human rights of a maligned group. He’s the self proclaimed leader of Premature Christmas Ejaculation and Debt Club.

And for all he thinks he’s the king of Christmas, the wee lamb has no clue. Christmas daft in my house after we buy the tree in December - nine glorious feet of real Fraser fir filling the bay window, laden with years of sentimental and beautifully mismatched ornaments and kid made crafts. And once we all stop work and school, it’s days filled with music, baking, making, games, walks etc. It’s special cos it’s only a short time, not strung out over two months of fakery.

This insta sham Christmas is a travesty copied from retail display. Soulless themed shlte in abundance, no soul or love, no continuity, nothing genuine.

I’m sure that little known writer Charles Dickens would’ve had something to say about this!!!

 

[Hyacinthsquash]

Well ma loveleis a did not expect a candy cane monstrosity to offend ma eyeballs over breakfast but, as per, she’s shot her load early. The tree looks (if possible) even tackier than last year with all the gingerbread shite. Pure child catcher vibes. For me the bespoke icing on the candy cane is the plastic hooks on the fireplace.. absolutely

 

[Babybail93]

Fuck off!!!! He’s doing it on purpose now an XS would have done!? They’re already skin tight babes

Grown Man in a onesie. ICK!!!

 

[Berniebow]

Imagine the sad sight of a 40 year old man setting up a red blanket perfectly laying it across his table.. unboxing his glass Christmas tree jar and taking out a couple of hand selected baubles and filling the jar. He then places his “brand items” perfectly at an angle and sits back and films it all while sitting in his bed sit

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Nothin gits past you lot.

Eagle eyes

I've always been the same hen, when someone posts a pic, I immediately scan the background I know of this girl who looks like a tarted up influencer, always posting selfies. All I see is the hair all down the cooker and dog shit on the flairs. I even noticed Khloe Kardashian has befriended oor Marion, so aye. Bitch stole his catchphrase and so forth.

 

[Madge2022]

11am people, candy cane lame is coming tae toon!!!

 

[Madge2022]

Aw hen yi musta had wana them -> lethal wee cocktails. Am sure the shrieks o Mazda tellin ya to grab ya choccy biskys will sort ya rate oot ma lovelei. Tattie hearts tae ya



Avameh (a wis bucklin at that bespoke spellin ma loveleis) has missed a wee trick not gettin Deek tae front the brand hens. We cudda had a bespoke orange and cranberry collection fram the wee Christmas clementine hisself so aye.

Eau de orange walk, basenote smells of bigotry ma lovelei

 

[pinkwaferbiscuit]

Rayn’s Grotto?!?!?!

Sounds like a euphemism for the litter box….. “Sooo ma lovelies there’s Rayn just off to curl one doon in her grotto” ffs

 

[HulaHannah]

Ive been on my usual websites tonight looking for stuff to make my annual candle/melt gifts. As expected, his 'bespoke' fragrances are the bog standard Be Inspired fragrances that loads of kitchen-makers are using to pump out melts for half the price. If they want to actually make something unique she needs to invest in blending her own scents rather than wasting money on tacky charms.

Rayn's litter tray bar is the Thousand Wishes rip off, and the Cosy Mario one is Cosy Winter Night. Can you imagine being so excited over putting your name to someone else's work in blending fragrances rather than actually trying to create a fragrance? It would be a bit like me covering a copy of The Great Gatsby in wrapping/wallpaper and handing it into the English teacher trying to pass it of as my creative writing assignment! Or buying premade cupcakes and then adding a few hundreds and thousands before telling everyone who'll listen at the bake sale that I made them and they took 6 hours! Just get in the bin!

 

[peachy-keen]

HIS FULL TIME JOB, EH?!

 

[Babybail93]

I’m so excited fae the weekend. I huv a feeling that she is going to unveil the absolute shit show he’s probably just used a week annual leave to prepare for

Think I’m even more excited fae the come doon at the start of December, when Christmas really starts

He always spirals early December. Yet he never learns

 

[Hyacinthsquash]

A mean a love ma animals but why is the cats name on everything fair enough maybe a bauble with her name and presents for her at Christmas but Jesus MULTIPLE stockings, a sleigh, bauble.. fuck knows what else. Poor lass doesn’t even have a cat tree but nae bother she can stare at her stocking ffs. He’s lost it hens.