hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
I'm not going to lie, I actually liked a couple of bits he bought. Fair play Mart, there's some nice pieces there.
- Notice
ScottishMammy92
Active member
I'm not apologising for disclosing information about him.
I've said my statements are my opinion. My friend had no idea about tattle they told me because his name is constantly talked about in the office. It's become a running joke that he either says wrong number and hangs up or ignores contact. But there he is on Instagram flaunting his purchases and encouraging others to do the same.
This country is in the midst of the worst cost of living crisis for a long time. A lot of his followers will be feeling the effects of this. He posts that he isn't doing it this year, he isn't wasting the money, it's his house he doesn't have to do it for the gram. Then does exactly that.
I'm sick of this little scrotum. His attitude is stinking. There have been various screenshots of messages sent to followers. He doesn't believe in climate change. He doesn't believe racial equality is his issue. He sits on his Instagram claiming he works all the hours god sends and treats people terribly. It's all bullshit.
Also - he shoved my granny. Then rattled his shart card like the rosary. While they had covid. So no sympathy here. Sorry.
I've said my statements are my opinion. My friend had no idea about tattle they told me because his name is constantly talked about in the office. It's become a running joke that he either says wrong number and hangs up or ignores contact. But there he is on Instagram flaunting his purchases and encouraging others to do the same.
This country is in the midst of the worst cost of living crisis for a long time. A lot of his followers will be feeling the effects of this. He posts that he isn't doing it this year, he isn't wasting the money, it's his house he doesn't have to do it for the gram. Then does exactly that.
I'm sick of this little scrotum. His attitude is stinking. There have been various screenshots of messages sent to followers. He doesn't believe in climate change. He doesn't believe racial equality is his issue. He sits on his Instagram claiming he works all the hours god sends and treats people terribly. It's all bullshit.
Also - he shoved my granny. Then rattled his shart card like the rosary. While they had covid. So no sympathy here. Sorry.
ScottishMammy92
Active member
Climate change isnae his problem. We've aw goat disabilities. No ma quote.
The irony of him sending that absolutely horrific message to a tattler, but yet spending the past two weeks doing nothing but moan about the heat...yeah. He's a fanny.
IF YOURE READING THIS MARTIN...CLIMATE CHANGE HAS CAUSED THE SIGNIFICANT INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE. FAST FASHION AND GENERALLY BEING A WASTEFUL CUNT CONTRIBUTES TO THIS. ENCOURAGING YOUR FOLLOWERS TO SPUNK EVERY PENNY ON CHEAP TAT DURING A CLIMATE AND COST OF LIVING CRISIS IS BEYOND IRRESPONSIBLE. STOP BEING A CUNT.
PS. LET DEEK AND RAYN GO. THEY DESERVE BETTER. AND STAY OUT YOUR BROTHERS GARDEN HE PROBABLY CANT STAND YOU EITHER.
Its been really baffling me so I've had a wee think and this is my best theory...
The reason he can't afford to go abroad or to even go away in the UK (Scotland has some of the most gorgeous settings and this cock womble never leaves Paisley) is because he has no cash flow.
The benefits he receives will include his rent payments and council tax, but those will go direct. The rest of his benefits probably pay for them to live. He uses his cash in hand wages and Derek's for the sheer volume of takeaway food they consume. I personally think he hates cooking in the flat because he can't stand the mess it makes and he likes everything to look "gutted" all the time.
The expensive items...the perfumes, makeup, clothes, electronics...most of which are unnecessary are likely all financed. I think he runs up bills and then avoids them. He knows he'll never be pursued for it because he's considered vulnerable if he receives disability benefits.
He couldn't actually afford a holiday. They don't have enough left over from wages and they can't finance a holiday because they never actually expect to repay it.
My friend works for a debt collection agency in Glasgow and Marion and Derek have several accounts with them. Generally they receive no response and aren't repaying any balances. Companies including npower (Derek from a few years ago), studio, very, virgin and argos. They rely on companies not doing proper due diligence and giving them credit accounts.
Meanwhile the taxpayer funds the majority of their lifestyle.
Thats just my thoughts anyway. Half the shite he has in his flat is financed and hasn't been paid for.
Last edited:
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
All cosy in ma safe place, so aye.
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Evening ma lovelieTalk about delusions of grandeur Maria hen!
First thing I thought of when I saw this was please could someone photoshop a teeny Marian waving into the mirrorpure bespoke.
@hopethishelpsallthebest i ken this app isnae yer full time joab but could you work your magic and so forth? Tonsa luv
Babybail93
VIP Member
Why have they got a picture of @Blanche Hunt next tae the bed?
orangeboom
Well-known member
Those candle holders 
proper wee Willy winky vibes
“Wee stinky minky
Shartin’ thru the flairs
Nee upstairs or doonstairs
In his shitehole
Shutting’ aw the windees
Cozeee as can be
Ma working week is dun
On Tuesday at half past 3”
proper wee Willy winky vibes“Wee stinky minky
Shartin’ thru the flairs
Nee upstairs or doonstairs
In his shitehole
Shutting’ aw the windees
Cozeee as can be
Ma working week is dun
On Tuesday at half past 3”
Attachments
Hyacinthsquash
VIP Member
Am going in with a thread suggestion ma lovelies because fuck it 
treatit maself
“Cleaning with Mario- autumn tat galore whilst debt collectors bang on the door”
he is no well.. all you lovelies have me thinking in investing in a ninja though a might treatit maself (nae with tax payers money cause I work more than 3 hours a week)
treatit maself “Cleaning with Mario- autumn tat galore whilst debt collectors bang on the door”
he is no well.. all you lovelies have me thinking in investing in a ninja though
a might treatit maself (nae with tax payers money cause I work more than 3 hours a week)
twilightgarden
VIP Member
Reminds me of one of they RSPCA adverts.The patches
For just £2 a month, you could sponsor Marion the mangy mongrel. £2 a month buys him a totie wee pickled onion from Castelveeeechi and a single wax melt.Martin has been stuck in a 6x4 hovel for years, your £2 could help to move him on to a new chapter, and a new path, with a front and back door and a garden . But dinnae worry , he’s abzalootley fine.
Bubbledoggyyeah
Chatty Member
Look at Dereks wee little Christmas tree, all proud 🥲 before Marion came along and subjected him to candy cane lame and a house full of tat
Babybail93
VIP Member
Mario tae Derek oan the back seat of a McGills after a benny spend up in B&M
When he says ‘life’s too short’ I can’t help but laugh. He’s using that phrase over buying autumn decorations.. for his flat…
Usually people say that before booking a 5* holiday, buying themselves the car they’ve always wanted or getting themselves that one pair of shoes or item of clothing they’ve always dreamed of owning.
This guy isn’t right in the head
Usually people say that before booking a 5* holiday, buying themselves the car they’ve always wanted or getting themselves that one pair of shoes or item of clothing they’ve always dreamed of owning.
This guy isn’t right in the head
orangeboom
Well-known member
Rumour has it that Martin auditioned for the part of chuckle brother#2 but he couldn’t get to grips with the “to me to you” catchphrase and kept saying “to me to me me me me” as he’s a selfish cocknose so aye
Couldlifeeverbesaneagain
Chatty Member
Martin would have his own bespoke section at the museum, thank you very much.
Visit floor 2 to see the autumn ruins of 2020-2022. Make sure you come and get aw cosy and see Martin’s autumn tat including but not limited too the fishy leaves, Pippy Longstocking’s pube wreath and the TV where Hocus Pocus is played 24/7!
If winter is more your thing, come and visit floor 3 for the Candy Cane Lane Cemetery. Here lies a heap of tacky red and white tat!
Floor 4 is an extra special floor where you can see Martin’s useless gadgets such as his Ring doorbell AND Dyson hairdryer!
You can also clutch your beak and have a laugh while you walk through the Martin’s Magic Mirror section, giving all you lovelies 3 hairs, puffy lips and a bespoke forehead.
If that doesn’t take your fancy, why not visit Martin’s Beigeveechi Cafe with everyone’s favourite culinary delights such as chips, boiled sausages and the strawberry sugar syrup crap (dentistry insurance policies are automatically voided if you have one of these).
And of course, to end your day, make sure you drop by Martin’s Tacky Tuck Shop where you can purchase all of your favourite Martin gifts such as a bespoke Christmas Eve box full of even more tat! We also have 100 tog duvets so you can get aw cosy during the Summer months, a wonky console table (50% off), Ava May candles, car air fresheners for those yet to have any driving lessons and bespoke hoosecoots and slippers so you too can glide around your flat like the Princess!
For those special children in your life, you can purchase your very own cuddly Rayn cat! Now comes with a free plastic window so your loved ones can re-create the infamous attempted suicide of Rayn!
** note that following a visit from HM The Princess of Paisley, the toilets will be out of use for the rest of the Summer season **
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
menopausalmargrit
VIP Member
Hola ma lovelies!!
A hud planned a wee comma whilst in the Caribbean but Whitney I Wanna Dance With Somebody came oan at the pool and a thought Marion had hooked up his phone tae the wrang Bluetooth speaker.
Hope youse are aw having the best summer/autumn/winter in the heat back hame.
Tonsalove,
M xxx
A hud planned a wee comma whilst in the Caribbean but Whitney I Wanna Dance With Somebody came oan at the pool and a thought Marion had hooked up his phone tae the wrang Bluetooth speaker.
Hope youse are aw having the best summer/autumn/winter in the heat back hame.
Tonsalove,
M xxx
orangeboom
Well-known member
Me and the kids are going trick or treating later on, they have tried to tell me it’s nowhere near Halloween but I told them to get back in their own bloody lane! We move kids and believe you me we are running not walking to those hooses tonight- I do not care if it’s still august!!
Doingitforthegramhuntake2
VIP Member
As if this fucking walloper has put his autumn tat out already
Babybail93
VIP Member
So between them tonight they’ve spent about £300. In ONE evening!
£100 on the “sleepers”
£180 on the air fryer
About £30 on that rancid dinner (at least)
All on a part time cleaner and shelf stackers wages. Make it make sense?
£100 on the “sleepers”
£180 on the air fryer
About £30 on that rancid dinner (at least)
All on a part time cleaner and shelf stackers wages. Make it make sense?