Cleaning with Mario #56 Perfume inflictions and a spending addiction, his anxiety is a work of fiction

[DesperadosRUs]

He’s secretly RAGIN! Aw the hooses roond them getting knocked doon and new builds going up and the bedsit lives…… you just Ken be wanted a wee new build, front and back gairden and a whole dain the hoose up jurney. Now he’s just left with how to change a cats shite boax jurney and gettin rid of the carpet and upgrading his door handles….. cos that will come now it’s been pointed oot. He’s actually devastated ma lovlies.

 

[Badaboom]

What’s more sad is that there is brand new houses being build practically across the road (railway line) from him that he’ll see from his window, all that money he’d spunked on tat could have been a deposit and he would have qualified for help to buy when it was a thing.

During lockdown he used to walk past those new houses and imagine himself and Derek living there, he even picked out his preferred house and everything. When the inevitable happened and someone bought ‘his’ house he was fuming and then never mentioned it again. He is too lazy (or stupid) to buy a house. He just gets envious of others that have a house with a front and back door *no my quote, and tries to convince himself he is happy and content with what he has. It’s all lies .

 

[Caramel Swirl]

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Can someone please translate this lunacy?

Roughly translates to:
Insta isnae his job, his job is his job, hes achieved everythin he wants in life, tattle can suck on his bum grapes n muller corner, hes sitting in his dream hoosecoat in his dream hoose, tong braxston blasting through the flairs on the daily, nae back doors for the cooncil to bash in, everywhere he walks his projection of ibswealth gets heeds turnin, if you dont know get tae know n stay in your own lane get oot of his he doesnae want any strangers skids in his lane only his oan

 

[Babybail93]

He would need a very healthy deposit at his age to get a mortgage and would need to work more than 3 hours a day to hope to get offered any significant amount to borrow . It’s never gonna happen let’s face it

That’s why he was thinking of getting pregnant not long ago Ma lovely. He wanted the cooncil to gift them a new place.

His plan failed when he realised, despite having a clit, he doesnae have a womb. So aye

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

The Beaky Clutchers - Ayrshire rivals of the Peaky Blinders.

 

[Blanche Hunt]

Ah jist tried that filter he’s always using and it turned me intae a Russian escort - big een, mair tanned and ma lips look like Rayns erse hole. So how he still looks like a haunted cludgie brush oan every story is a mystery.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Old people probably will feel better if Marion doesn't talk to them

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

He wants to STOP worrying less?! So he wants to start worrying more?! The illiteracy is killing me.

Also he hates singing infront of others. Doesn’t he have a highlight called “My Singing”

#TongBraxston

 

[Babybail93]

It’s scary to think what he would buy, on a serious note - a man, fae his own words - has no ambition or to achieve anything but is happy with the way things are going, blows my mind!! Why doesn’t he set a goal like he wanting to learn to drive instead of spunking it up the wall ?

(sorry am rambling lads, am hame fae the pub and a canny sleep, but read oan here and been pishing maself (no literally))

Back in yer aine laine hen! He cannae drive cause he’s no well way his Kerry Katona eyes condition. So aye.

Although, there is nothing stopping Deek learning how tae drive. They could get a little G reg Ford Escort tae cut aboot in. Imagine the shit Mario could bring home in the boot of a car, nae having to rely oan his stranglers fingers tae carry shit oan the bus.

That car would have led strip lights awe through it off ah that small business, Amazon. He’d pimp Deek’s ride. So aye. He’s already goat the magic tree freshener, in the scent “bespoke car”.

 

[Caramel Swirl]

Oor Marion’s Kerry Katona juurney is speeding through in its ain lane ma lovelies seatbelts aff hazard lights are on an airbags are oot didnae see that comin spine bright to youse all

 

[Babybail93]

Once upon a time…

There is no way he had a Swan milk warmer and never showed it oan his page. The cunt shows us when he buys a new kitchen wipe, there’s no way he’d let such a huge purchase go unnoticed

 

[Babybail93]

Look at how dusty the top of that doorbell is also the colour of the top of the skirting. Got the cheek to have “cleaning” in his insta name

 

[laynelo_]

Morning ma luvlies hope youse are kicking mondays arse still howling at the curtain time lapse featuring his Kerry Katona eyes

 

[DesperadosRUs]

The hot chocolatt range….. haha does he know mean hotel chocolat???

 

[Milfordcubicle]

My sister came over yesterday and she’d never stumbled across wee Marion. I read her the wiki and we were crying laughing and spent the whole day telling each other to stay aine yur laine

 

[DesperadosRUs]

Day trip away fay beirut! HONK IF YER HONRY

 

[Freefalling]

Oh good news, they've received written confirmation that they won't be getting a new build with a back and front door. They can invest more into their 'safe haven'. Let the Laminate Journey begin lovelies. Maz do us a favour, get your door handles changed lol

 

[Babybail93]

Mario is developing a mother of the bride boady tae match his mother of the bride hoosecoat. How can Deek get a stiffy over that?

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Heed like a thumb an awe!

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He’s got an arse like my Mum ( a 65 year old Jamaican woman! )

 

[Rayne]

You pure trolls all taking the piss outta his comma breaks and now he’s having an actual comma and youse cannae cope

 

[Freefalling]

Fucking awful! Bet you guys aren't far from the truth either. Oh Deek, grow a set and tell him to fuck off

Hahahahahaha YOU MUST HINK AM BUTTONED UP THE BACK! A classic Glasgow Maw statement, along with, you must think a came up the Clyde oan a banana boat!

At ma desk in work clutching ma beak!

When my wee maw died, the last thing she said was 'you can pack that crying in, your Clyde built'