Cleaning with Mario #56 Perfume inflictions and a spending addiction, his anxiety is a work of fiction

[TooFarScone]

Oh please Marion the Provy woman calling in to collect this week's payment does not count as friends popping round to catch up.

 

[wivdaangles]

The thing is, he doesn’t have to buy a house. I’m in a lovely wee private rental in a nice part of Paisley. I work full time and a wee part time job on the side and saving for a house deposit but it’s a while off. Renting doesn’t need to mean living in a total dive, but then I suppose he couldn’t “invest” in a rental the way he does his council house anyway that’s my life story my lovelies thanks for reading

 

[menopausalmargrit]

This’ll be why he’s in need of a comma this weekend. It must be exhausting pretending to be nice for him

Can just hear him ranting to Derek over a cheeky Spoons breakfast this morning - “This new me just isane fur me Derek!!! Am no built tae be nice tae folk!! Well mibbae wee auld imaginary wummin et the bus stoap bit that’s it!! Wit um a gonnae dae? N a Cannae keep goin strong wi that yogurt every day, it’s running oot me like lava efter ten mins n ahv jist cleaned the toilet! Ahm goin through a bottle a asda fir Toilet cleaner every two oors and asda dinnae take klarna!! It’s nae winner a take a drink Derek, honest tae god!!”

 

[Poptart]

I use a bespoke machine called a "kettle" Am I doing it aww wrang??

 

[TryingNYC]

Handbrake turn out of my ain lane for a moment….I just treated myself to the Ring Doorbell stories. Can anyone help me? If Mario has secure entry in his flats then what is the point of the device? He buzzes someone into the building then waits until they get to his front door and checks the camera on his phone to see who it is? That person hasn’t announced themselves at door 1? And he can’t use the spyhole?

And he needs the Chime because…once he buzzes the visitor in at door 1, he starts to ‘blast music’ and therefore instantly forgets he just let them in. 20 seconds later when they get to his door, he gets the notice from Chime, checks his phone and his memory returns so he can open the door? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS!!

 

[honey&lemon]

The ‘Hot Chocolat velveteer’

No Marion. Just, no.

 

[DesperadosRUs]

Hello ma lovlies

 

[mrsbucket]

Tong Braxton

 

[Johnnoijones]

It's clear from the lack of action on the thread that we are all using this time to have a wee comma of our own. Hope you are aww cosy in yer hoose coats with the velveteer cranked up.

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Induction lashes.

 

[Babybail93]

This cunt probably thought “Hotel Chocolate” was a Premier Inn made from Dairy Milk last week.

Now he’s fucking going on like he’s Willy Wonka.

Get in the bin ya fucking toad

 

[Alansbigplate]

Unbreak my Swan
Say velveteeser raaaang
Clutch ya beak an’ shart al neet
In the bummin fort
With Rayne n Deek
Take back the shite ya bought
Fae BnM
N get aff this app

 

[laynelo_]

If ah wis the spoon burners doonstairs ah’d be getting ma complaints logged in the housing office the noo. Life’s bleak enough in Beruit withoot hearing Marion’s every movement and sound in that flat.

Poor fuckers prolly trying getting their kip at 6 in the morning after a three day bender and aw they hear is Marion’s hoover on, washing machine gawn, and him running back in forth tae the pan cos his stomachs fell oot his arse.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Me after reading Mario’s answers to questions he sent himself:

 

[Dove88]

A velveteer by the brand Hot Chocolatt.

Couldn't make this pish up.

 

[Babybail93]

I wonder if the old girl has the McGills app on her phone too?

Next week he’ll be telling us a story about a boy and his Mum coming up to him in the street and how he made it easy for the baine to come oot the closest. So aye.

Recyle Rodney

 

[Babybail93]

As much as I hate Hinch, I love that her dramatic reveals are of houses and shit. Mario’s dramatic reveal is of a £100 milk warmer he’s got on Klarna

 

[McBaldyCulkin]

 

[Hyacinthsquash]

Mazda drinks his dinners pass it on

 

[Dove88]

Mornin ma lovelies, happy Sunday tae yeez aw.

Am jist aboot to go tae Tescos to get ma shopping. Am making soup the day so ah need to pick up some onions and 4 boxes of stock cubes, if you don't know ma recipe get tae know it!

Anyways, am shoowered, am dressed, wee spray of Britney Spears Fantasy and am away! Tae save yeez aw the hassle of coming up tae me, yeez can get it in a wee small business called Boots. It's dead cheap but smells so wealthy, projection is aboot 5 years. So aye. Pure stapul.



Disclaimer - I actually love that perfume, and it's sexy big sister in the name "Midnight Fantasy". If ye don't know, get tae know.