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Babybail93

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Recap -

Moira returned from her hiatus because he’d got pure boujee, bespoke wardrobes from the small business IKEA.

As expected they look shit and don’t fulfill the job they are meant to

He treatid himself to a new duvet and mattress topper. In the colour white and scent polyester

He spent £40 on two snide beverage glasses.

He made a pure bespoke cooler inspired by the small business, Starbucks. This included fresh frozen berries, a pump glug of Monin syrup, Chinese strawberry tea made in England by Tetley and a drizzle of ice cream syrup. In the taste of “nae teeth left hen”

He then got these new style of blind that absoloooootley no one in the history of blinds has had before. They are bespoke Venetian. In the colour faux wood with “tapes” through them. We were then treatid to a how to of how these blinds work. Strangler fingers made a come back

Still no sign of Derek the spliffer. Weee baby gurel Rain hasn’t been seen in an age either

He has weather bipolar. One minute he loves the heat. The next he cannae stand it and is melting through the flaaaaairs

Christmas chat has begun, on July 28th

Mario is still a cunt with 2 hairs oan his 5-heeed

He is living life how it is meant to be lived. Complete with cosy vibes, senses of wellness, boujee states of mind and so forth and so aye

Welcome to thread 40!!!
 
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Babybail93

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Fucks sake! There is so much to unpack with the latest treat!

Pipe cleaner legs in 60 denier

Slippers you get at the spa with the plastic bottom

The chunky knit fleece cardigan hoosecoat

The elf ears

The NOSE!

The hair that looks like a 3 day growth after my husband has veeted his baw bag!

Fucks sake Mario! 😩
 
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Faye needs a Mario in her life to sort her lips out.. he types, with one hand, the other hand scratching the itchy, dry skin from his lips, flakes of skin snowing onto his hoosecoat. He flicks it onto the carpet. “I’ll get that with the shark tomorrow”.

From the couch, he presses the screen on his personal phone on the table, with his long strangler finger.

No notifications.
No messages.

Not even from Bernadette.

His instagram phone pings.
143k down to 142k followers. The glow from the phone stings his Kerry Katonas.

‘Fuck!’

He thought frantically.

‘I know!’ He races two steps into the kitchen, instagram phone in hand.


New Story: Meter needing boxed in.

As he sits back on the couch he waits…

Ping, ping, ping..

‘You are an inspiration Mario”
“I’m a joiner, I can do your meter box for free for publicity”
“You’re a begging cunt” *blocked*
”I love you Mario”

He inhales deeply, as the cosy state of mind is restored. For now.
 
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Exhausted Pigeon

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Please Mario, I beg you, go on a door handle jurneh! You have five different types of handle, all covered in paint! You can literally get 5 new pairs on Amazon for £17!!! Fuck it, I’ll even gift you them hen!
Mavis doesn't have DOOR HANDLES ma lovelie. I think you'll find they're TOUCH POINTS.
Now sit down and get some class.
 
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adgifted

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The “guys” are just away 😂😂 was it santas elves laying the Lionel cos you couldn’t have 2 full grown men in that vestibule Marion hen.

Just gonna be sitting here still getting ma self some class waiting for the Lionel reveal. I’m going for the style herringbone design in the colour same as the crapet in the scent credit Union loan.

“so ma lovelies so so many of yees have been messaging so here it is. Ma new flairs and ah just absolutely love it. Aye. Thanks so so much tae *insert business name here* and his team fur daeing such a fantastic joab honestly ah highly highly recommend them ma lovelies.Ah will tag his page so go check oot and support this wee small business. Ah knew the vision ah wanted in here which was “same as every other cunt on Instagram” but tae be honest ma lovelies wae the high footfall we hiv in this area oh the hoose and so so many oh yees said tae me Mario wit about Lionel so ah said I thats wit ah wanted and it’s just perfect. This is not an ad, not at all ma lovelies, naw got ma ain brand a Lionel yet clutches at beak pishing himself laughing but a love it. Ah will dae a wee post and tag where everything is fae so aye a hope yees aww enjoy it ma lovelies and thanks for aww the messages. Well done again tae the flair guys for bringing oot this bespoke Lionel range. You’ve done fantastic daein this and aye well done tae yees. Tons ah love! 🥔💎M x

cue montage pan shot of the smallest hallway known to man in the filter dillisional with the sound something fae Whitney Houston in the scent klarna on awww were arses.
 
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Babybail93

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This thread comes from our @Kaydeelaydee after people called for her boujee sentence to become a thread title. Chanting you oan from the rooftops hen! You’re living life as it should be lived!
 
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Popper

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The chucky knit (which is actually fleece and in no way knitted) has arrived and he looks like a bespoke ballet dancer with his tights and leotard who is warming up for a boujee performance of swan lake. What a riot.
 
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menopausalmargrit

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My Merchant City spies tell me that Derek is out for dinner in a tracksuit and that the two of them have been sat on their phones the full time they’ve been in the bar.

City Centre is the busiest I’ve seen it since February 2020 so Marion will be up to high doe!! He will be scoffing that food and up the road to get cosy quicker than you say cosy vibes!!
 
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