As St Mario floated down Buchanan Street....people rose from their wheelchairs...ricket infested children threw away their crutches....the blind could all of a sudden see as they kneeled before their saviour......AMEN 
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Drops his phone and blames his eye disease......no ya just a clumsy twit hun
Worrying about how he was dressed for lunch out. It's not as if they were going to go anywhere with a dress code, so maybe Melvin finally gets it. Dupe Goochi's and bobbled burgundy trackie bottoms are not suitable for wearing in public.
Bicarbonative soda 
Did he actually say that ffs .... still getting over the word he used for reiteratedBicarbonative soda
So he met loads of lovlies today "Naw ye dinnae Mario"
you would think they would have at least tagged you
.... don't see any tags pal
It makes me laugh so much that he really believes his own hype. What a bleeping badger.
He's seen so many of his lovelies and their "boys"... 
Absolutely dead!
Absolutely dead!I bet the wick will get married in them
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Why can’t he speak properly? No one pronounces bicarbonate like that. Why is he so weird?Bicarbonative soda
It's his eye disease
Melvin, "saint saviour of small business and marriage guidance cooncilor" is so special he's surely the one pronouncing it right, and us, the mere plebs who are blessed to be able to watch him sacrifice himself to us each day*, must surely be the ones in the wrong.
*if only!
Omg yes he does!! I keep thinking he is not real just some character his brother created and we will find out its all been a wee Scottish comedy!
Melv must be fuming 
that ornament on the table has more of a normal head shape than he does
and I must say that new cushion really brings out the crapets
Can’t believe SOOOO MANY OF YOUSE LOVELIES got to see St Marlon of Paisley
in the flesh, I hope one of youse gave him a pat on his absolutely gawjuss flat heed from me
that ornament on the table has more of a normal head shape than he doesand I must say that new cushion really brings out the crapets
Can’t believe SOOOO MANY OF YOUSE LOVELIES got to see St Marlon of Paisley
in the flesh, I hope one of youse gave him a pat on his absolutely gawjuss flat heed from meThe diamante butt plug? Also, anyone else think that the cushion was actually just a cushion, and didn't have a cover on it at first? It's so bland. Bring back the sequined one with their heads on it.Melv must be fuming
and I must say that new cushion really brings out the crapets
Rumour has it he shoves that up his ass on the odd occasion his head isn’t up there
Ahhh but it's got sheer bea-U-tiful piping going all round the edge hun
Imagine if hinch ever finished her book tour and oor mario went along, the plum would believe that all the dafties were there to see him at this point 
And his bloody bicarbonative flash spray, the name is right there on the bottle Melv. Say it with us... BICARBONATE OF SODA
And his bloody bicarbonative flash spray, the name is right there on the bottle Melv. Say it with us... BICARBONATE OF SODA
He should do his own book tour... flogging dictionariesImagine if hinch ever finished her book tour and oor mario went along, the plum would believe that all the dafties were there to see him at this point
And his bloody bicarbonative flash spray, the name is right there on the bottle Melv. Say it with us... BICARBONATE OF SODA
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