I would just like to take this moment to point out that diamonds don’t actually shine, they only reflect, as they don’t have their own light source. Melv reflects like a diamond, so aye
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For the love of god ... what the actual duck !!! Thank you for making that sacrifice ... what picking up a phone and talking rit. This message better be one of us winding him up or i swear i want off this world 
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He'd be the big man with the clipboard stationed at the pearly gates with the naughty and nice list like a celestial SantaWho is St. Peter
The way he is banging on about the scents of the wax melts, and how Hannah has got them spot on, does he honestly think she sits mixing scents to make things smell like cleaning products and perfumes? All these businesses just buy the ready made scents. There are loads of companies selling Tom Ford wax melts and candles at a lot less than Ava May but without Melvs branding.
Also, all the time he spends in Debenhams sniffing perfumes, being told by the ‘lassies’ about all the new make up products AND healing the sick, does he actually get any work done? Does his boss know they are funding a saviour?
Also, all the time he spends in Debenhams sniffing perfumes, being told by the ‘lassies’ about all the new make up products AND healing the sick, does he actually get any work done? Does his boss know they are funding a saviour?
Please tell me that’s a piss takeFor the love of god ... what the actual duck !!! Thank you for making that sacrifice ... what picking up a phone and talking rit. This message better be one of us winding him up or i swear i want off this world
If laughter is the best medicine we need to be grateful for Melv and his lovelies for the mileage they give us.For the love of god ... what the actual duck !!! Thank you for making that sacrifice ... what picking up a phone and talking rit. This message better be one of us winding him up or i swear i want off this world
I try, though sometimes fail, to hold onto this thought when he and his disciples make me cringe, despair or want to vom
What is an evening smile?For the love of god ... what the actual duck !!! Thank you for making that sacrifice ... what picking up a phone and talking rit. This message better be one of us winding him up or i swear i want off this world
these have GOT to be pisstakes, Kikini is that you again?
It has to be a pisstake
Ah I do miss them
Noooo not me this time, I'm still furious he didn't join me in a coonsil rant on behalf of my fictitious 83yo broken hipped mum
Do you think an evening smile is the same thing as the dawn horn or am I going to the dark reaches of my mind again?
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I think you made an error, that to be fair any sane person would, of not making it all about Melvin. More gushing and smoke blowing was required.Noooo not me this time, I'm still furious he didn't join me in a coonsil rant on behalf of my fictitious 83yo broken hipped mum
Creasing myself hereLet us all hail St Melvin of Paisley our Lord and saviour
For He has saved all His wee gawjuss lovelies from a life of sin and darkness
For He turns water into windolene, Bread into vileda mopheads, flats into tacky velvet diamante shiteholes
Guides us all through His brow juurney
And forces the cooncil to repent their sins
All whilst having a flat heed, crapets and rats for flatmates
Tom Ford is shaking over Marlon’s ava may lush wee melts
Youse would be nothing without him
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Wtf??
EXACTLY !!! Wtf Is he on drugs
Oh Melv, I am pissing my knickers at you right now, you is funneh!
I think it may have been his insomnia that cured her
Has to be one of us - come on oan up .... liked this wee touch btw to make it authenticFor the love of god ... what the actual duck !!! Thank you for making that sacrifice ... what picking up a phone and talking rit. This message better be one of us winding him up or i swear i want off this world
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I am getting to breaking point with his lies - £60 for breakfast... They went to Browns where the most expensive item is £9.95. They would’ve probably spent about £30 max. Although thinking about it, he probably told Derek it was £60 as I doubt he can count and took £30 off him for his half which in reality actually covered the full bill!
I think if I saw him I would need to have a sit down chat and call him out on every single lie he tells. It’s not even bloody good lies either.
I think if I saw him I would need to have a sit down chat and call him out on every single lie he tells. It’s not even bloody good lies either.
What's the point of getting loads of restaurant recommendations if all you ever order is the same beige crap you get at the cat vomit cafe?
I hate to be crude but has someone shat in that pasta? I do wonder whether it'll look better before its be eaten or when it's been crapped out?
£60 for pasta and pizza
Sure, Melv
Sure, Melv
What even is that pasta? It looks like chicken nuggets and pasta?
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