Cleaning with Mario #16 Maladdin & The Magic Crapet. Smell The Wealth! 💎

[twilightgarden]

Do you think if we all stand in front of a mirror in our best hoosecoats and say ‘Marion, Marion, Marion’ the three haired wiping guru will come back to us?! Candy man style.

 

[NOID-phal]

Rayn lives a miserable life. Trapped in a tiny space pumped full of chemicals, left alone most of the time. Mario isn't an animal lover, he's a cruel unthinking dick.

 

[Badaboom]

Well I learnt something new about Mario in the last few days... the bloke dose have willpower staying off the gram, not begging for shit. If only he had the same amount of willpower on his spending and plucking his eyebrows

I think something has changed in his life. If he was still furloughed, Derek was at work and he was still sitting around in his borrower flat I don’t think he would have the will power to stay off the gram. He is either back at work, got a new job or living somewhere else, I am sure of it. I just want him to come on and update us so we can know. The minute he is back with his million dot stories I will be fed up with him again. I am not really missing him, more that I hate not knowing what has happened I am too nosey!

 

[Bellamummy37]

Apparently mario and derek have split up my friend knows Marios brother and derek ended it.

 

[Fickledipped19]

How is this still the funniest thread on tattle even with Moanio being a no show

 

[Fickledipped19]

I’m on nights this week so when the day staff come in, I give them a little handover & I keep finding myself ending it with ‘so aye, nothing else to tell ya’s’ then I hate myself for my marioisms

 

[BoujeeBabe]

I've never commented anything nasty at all - was always polite as I thought he was okay, even messaged him one time suggesting peppermint tea for his IBS before I realised its probably all in his head!

I've got a second Insta account and I can see his profile fine there, so he has blocked me - what a weird little man-child!

Why did he block you? Did you comment on something?

Not at all, I've always been polite to Melv, the rotten wee shite bag that he nice is!

I’m on nights this week so when the day staff come in, I give them a little handover & I keep finding myself ending it with ‘so aye, nothing else to tell ya’s’ then I hate myself for my marioisms

I took some money from my purse last night, 2 £20 notes to be precise, put them by my dog's nose and said "smell the wealth"

I've been blocked by 2 of these Insta idiots now, only hinch and Beggy left then it'll be a full house!

I feel a bit sad Melv has blocked me as I've been nice to him and about him in here.

If you're reading this, Melvin Wax Melt McKnight - stick your page up yer arse, you strange little man-child! Oh, and get a job and stop sponging off Derek - he's too good for you!

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

What's Rayn going the vets for, counselling?

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

Oh my lovelie, i was just about to post the same thing! He's given 18 months of his life?! You'd think he'd been doing somehning amazing for 18 months, not spaying bloody disinfectant and face mists. I'm disappointed that he will only be back now and again.

that right there is why he'll never be a big influencer. He is such an over inflated, egomaniac who thinks his better than what he is. You'd think he was an famous A list celebrity with the way he goes on.

I reckon something has happened. Either his gone back to work or Derek and him have had a barmy about it all. anyhow, now Mario is out of the way, Derek if you read here it's your turn to shine. Set up an Instagram account so we can all follow you. You're the real star of the Manbagzda show

 

[Maggie28]

I’ve been to B&M wearing my bespoke housecoat from primark.
I got that towel, I mean rug, laid down on it surrounded by fabulousa and chanting ma Lovelies over and over!
While blowing kisses at fellow shoppers.
Sadly I was removed by the local law, who said they had never heard of cleaning with Mario. I have now been barred.
Let’s hope it wasn’t in vain, and our bespoke Marion will return to us soon.

 

[MrsBeardy]

Mr Beardy and I took it upon ourselves to form a search party this morning. We visited all his usual haunts, The Range, Lidl and B&M and there was not a single hobbity sign of either of them. The shelves in the range were full of awplint items in the shade bedazzle so he clearly hasn’t been in.

We did not smell his wealth.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Are you closeted in your shed @Kikini Bamalam in some kind of trance? I’m imagining you naked apart from some Speeonjay cloths, lots of smoke from all the burning wax melts, candles and chemicals, offering the Dyson 3 hair dryer up to the picture of Cliff/Melvin while you speak in tongues

Would it be terrible of me to admit that I have kidnapped Melvin Silence of the Lambs style and have him snuggly inside my deep hole? I will be making myself a real Melvin suit made out of pure, bespoke, boujee Melvin special sensitive skin! I shall parade around the streets in my Melvin suit and people will whisper as I sashay past "OMG is that 10 year old boy there the real Melvin, Prince of Paisley?" and I shall flash them my bespoke Melvin teeth at them and make a potato heart at them.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Applying for universal credit. Setting up an only fans and taking rudey pics. Getting the train down to Essex and shouting through Mrs Hinch letterbox every day SAWFEE I LOVE YOUSE.
Going to his gp and crying about his baldness jurneh he's going on.

I've just had a horrible image go through my head of Melvin with his lad in one hand and doing his hand kissy kissy thing he does with the other.
Please excuse me, I have to drown myself in the toilet for even allowing that to happen

It would do no good. There’s no talking sense to Marion. He must know on some level that spraying all the shit he does can’t be nice or good for the cat. If he reads here he will have seen it mentioned loads. I also think some of his well meaning sheep would have brought it to his attention but it’ll be ignored because so much of his content is based exclusively on spraying stuff and buying spray refills and candles and wax melts and plugins etc because the bedsit is a fraction of the size of his peers (ha!) insta pads there’s literally no other content he can create.

I sent him a link to an article about how cats were dying from all the household chemicals being sprayed/used around the house. I told him I wasn't hating, ust wanted him to be informed he was killing his cat slowly. I got a bespoke boujee diamond as a reply, meaning he either didn't read the article or he didn't care *shrugs shoulders* There's no helping thick cunts

 

[ayeayecaptain]

Probably he’ll give up the gram if Deek gives up his phone. Sounds like a fair exchange eh?

EDIT:
Probably takes a week as he’s currently bidding on ebay for a Nokia 3310 with nae internet or camera on it for him

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Hello God? It's me Melvin. Even with my best endeavours to starve them of oxygen, those rotten tattlers are still finding mirth and joy with no help whatsoever from me. I thought me stropping off my platform for a bit would shut them up and maybe score me a beggy call from Gleam management - not before time I'm sure you'll agree God. So aye, it's just not working. How do I now climb off my high horse and get back to ma lovelies without losing face? I'm worried that small businesses everywhere will be suffering without my platform being active. You know all about suffering, isn't that right God. I'm going to light 25 candles - well the tealights in ma wax melt burners anyway, and wait for you to send me a sign. Just so I know it's you, can you do me a bespoke sign? If I can part the waters in my boujee sink basin, I'll know its okay for me to pretend like the last week hasn't happened. A bit like Pam Ewing fae Dallas finding out she'd only dreamed Bobby was dead. Thanks ma darlin, I mean God.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

I saw this and immediately thought of the Saint and Saviour of doooops

 

[Whatsallthis]

How raging would you be if you were Dan Yell? Gift him a (hideous) piece of furniture and he packs in social media the very same week.
Hopefully this will stop companies being so stupid in future (tho I doubt it).

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

He's never blocked me but that's mainly because my 88 year old mother who fell down a manhole loves him

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Opens giant jewellery box parked on top of ma beach towel and contemplates which awpolence I shall wear today before tiptoeing my strangler fingers in to the thread and sharing some tap ass around.

 

[Prettyiconic55]

I had no idea who this person was so I had a look. It’s like he’s taken his house through BM store with a massive shit magnet attached and it’s collected everything. What’s with all that bloody plush grey? And as for that huge mirror in the living room...the bathroom!! Omg, I’m surprised he has space to put his feet on the floor when he’s having a Tom tit