Cleaning with Mario #16 Maladdin & The Magic Crapet. Smell The Wealth! 💎

[Cagayu]

@Cagayu aka our Awesome artist... can you create a pic on Mazda like Dick Whittington. He could have his bougie bespoke belongings in his hankie bag thing over his shoulder. xxx

Febreze, dyson hair dryer, his hinch book, his blanket and of course his peg bucket

 

[Be More Pacific]

New thread time ma darlins'

Thread title is a combination following a campaign by @DilysMcGillis and @Johnnoijones for Smell the Wealth and Maladdin & The Magic Crapet was a joint effort from @lauramars and @It's All Fake.

Last thread round up - Derek's allegedly learning to drive, although no evidence has been seen apart from 75 car air fresheners and some Insta begging for a free car, Mazza is still not back at work, still spunking money up the wall on utter shite and he has just been gifted the bespoke, padded, studded tapas, McDonalds and juice holder of dreams and he bought a new peach towel pacifically to pop under it.

Behold....

As you were ma lovelies!

 

[Whatsallthis]

Who was it?

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

No, I don't believe it.

I think he's lost his job and doesn't want to tell people yet which is completely understandable. I've never been made redundant - I was put in notice of redundancy once in the morning but was 'saved' with a new job offer from the same company in the afternoon. I'd just bought a house on my own and I can remember, when they told me I was being put on notice, feeling like I was falling into a bottomless pit so I know the worries that come with it. I would just want to crawl into a hole not face 124,000 people and put on a show. I don't think anyone on here wanted him to lose his job, as it is not a nice thing to happen to anyone, but the writing has been on the wall for a long time with Debenhams.

I think the recent, very over the top, spending has been his way of trying to cope with it - I mean, he must have been expecting it surely? - and, as someone with compulsive shopping tendencies, I can understand that too. I'm definitely 'in remission' and only spend what I can afford these days, whilst paying off £30,000 of debt which will be down to £19,000 on Friday - no debt management programme, IVA or anything either, just very lucky and grateful to be offered a rent free house a lot closer to my partner's work which means we've been able to pay over a grand a month off the debt - but some days I still wake up and my first urge is to spend.

Look at me (sort of) defending Mario!

Bless your heart Pacific you are a much better person than me as I couldn't give a shit about Melvin losing his job because in my opinion, he is a nasty wee scrote inside and oot I do think that it'll do him some good to have to get his spending under control, be more grateful for what he has and maybe start to appreciate & respect Derek far more than he appears to. Hopefully he'll come out the otherside with a bit more humility and class.

I do agree that he has probably lost his job and him spending (even though he must have known what was likely to happen with Debs) was his way of warding off the thought of inevitable redundancy, in his odd bespoke Melvin way. Like you I am in massive debt 55k in 2010 now down to 35k this year, woohoo (damn you bipolar and BPD *shakes fist at cloud.gif*) But like you, with a lot of hard work I am getting better at the mad spending.

Anyway Melvinites, to cheer us all up in these dark Melvinless times, I've made us a pure bespoke and boujie Melvin doing the potato heart gif, so aye and so forth

 

[Jerry Garcia]

From Marion's Daily Record article. Spot the (brilliantly incisive) typo...

 

[Be More Pacific]

Do we really believe they’ve broken up? I doubt that. There’s no way he would post that load of nonsense yesterday if they had, he would be too busy being furious and dramatic begging Derek not to leave him! Derek if you’re reading this, next time blink twice on camera and say BOUJIE if you want to be saved #FREEDEREK xxx

No, I don't believe it.

I think he's lost his job and doesn't want to tell people yet which is completely understandable. I've never been made redundant - I was put in notice of redundancy once in the morning but was 'saved' with a new job offer from the same company in the afternoon. I'd just bought a house on my own and I can remember, when they told me I was being put on notice, feeling like I was falling into a bottomless pit so I know the worries that come with it. I would just want to crawl into a hole not face 124,000 people and put on a show. I don't think anyone on here wanted him to lose his job, as it is not a nice thing to happen to anyone, but the writing has been on the wall for a long time with Debenhams.

I think the recent, very over the top, spending has been his way of trying to cope with it - I mean, he must have been expecting it surely? - and, as someone with compulsive shopping tendencies, I can understand that too. I'm definitely 'in remission' and only spend what I can afford these days, whilst paying off £30,000 of debt which will be down to £19,000 on Friday - no debt management programme, IVA or anything either, just very lucky and grateful to be offered a rent free house a lot closer to my partner's work which means we've been able to pay over a grand a month off the debt - but some days I still wake up and my first urge is to spend.

Look at me (sort of) defending Mario!

 

[Eat more cake]

I have lit 6 different wax melts and made an offering of Tap-ass and Irn Bru to the Cleaning Gods so they bring Mario back to us safely. I've also said 8 So Ayes and So Forths.

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Translation:

There's a lot of stuff going on in my life that I barely want to face up to myself let alone share with all you strangers.
Debenhams might not have a future at all and with retail jobs taking a hammering, I'm nervous about how difficult it might be for me to find something else. My secondary income source with AvaMay has also taken a hit and I'm desperately trying not to pitch a fit and lash out at Hannah just because I recklessly spent every bean of commission I made (and more). Thank God at least she didn't cut the line in its entirety - yet!
I was only ever interested in adulation, and even though I've begged you all not to, you will keep insisting on clogging up my outbox expressing your concern for me and asking questions that make it impossible for me to be comfortably in denial about my situation.
I'm bored rigid with being stuck at home all day every day with only a cat that won't look the road I'm on for company. The prospect of Derek being the sole earner and in control of the household budget is triggering my IBS and giving me sleepless nights.
I'll be back when my ego needs stroking and not before, so stop pestering me but keep following and idolising me.

 

[Be More Pacific]

I think we should all thank our lucky stars that he’ll never make it as a full time influenza. Can you imagine the 3 ring circus that the wedding could become?

Which reminds me....

I was deleting loads of photographs on my phone yesterday and came across this utter bespoke gem which I refuse to get rid of! @Cagayu

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Imagine if they actually have split up though Think of the reaper cushions for the Instagram account...

The flat is Deek’s so logic would dictate that Marion will be told to pack his dupe Louis Vuitton bags and leave. Presumably he has little to no income so will have to move back in with Ma and Pa McKnight. Where will he find content? Will he build a new flat from the groon up? Who gets custody of Rayn? Will we ever see Deek take to the roads? What will become of the car fresheners? Will Deek now be free to flush his own toilet without having to snake his hand underneath an inconveniently placed artificial plant?

Christ I need a drink, it’s all too much

 

[Be More Pacific]

Drop Ava May a message. She could create you a bespoke wax melt as a dupe for Dewberry .

I had a word and she said now that "Mario" is in the outlet, she has an opening!

She even knocked me up a prototype.....

I honestly don't know how this has happened to little old me guys

 

[Cagayu]

Pleeeeease can you make a Mario in the form of the Scream mask??

 

[Noseycow2020]

We are all oan this bespoke jurnee the gither

 

[Eat more cake]

Best bespoke thread title ever.
I’m glad he’s gone out shopping. He deserves to treat hiself and hasn’t really splashed out recently. And the flat is starting to look a bit bare in places....

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

i Think they are growing hashish in the grubby little cupboard in the kitchen ...he says she’s shows all aspects of his life ....except that cupboard!!!!!!!!

#17 Dealing with Mario

 

[Cagayu]

Mario #17 - classy, boujee, rachect.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Thanks for clearing that up for me, my lovelie.

i hope he’s back soon, I don’t know what to buy from b and m, I’ll just be walking around, lost amongst all the bespoke boujie plush furniture, so aye and so forth

Head to the bathroom aisle and buy anything in the colour orange, when you get home it will turn blush pink.

Alternatively think of something you already have in your cupboards at home and put 10 more of them in your basket. If this is a high demand item such as Antibac, disinfectant etc put another 5 in.

If you've ever been given an expensive gift and you see a cheap version, buy that and show it off to the person who gave you the original gift.

If you're still confused, buy some Knorr powdered soup. This will be in the food aisle but should be in the medicine aisle as it cures IBS.

Hope that helps ma lovelie!

PS Don't forget to show us tha morrah!

*potato heart*

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

I do love a shiny new thread - by any title. It's a new day! A new chapter! Of his own covered cereal box! Lived by his rules! All about his life! And all it's areas! Except the ones he keeps private! And so forth!

 

[Be More Pacific]

Could Melvin's place get anymore footballers wives? The spanner has no taste whatsoever. I do wonder if Dezzer secretly hates it all but is so off his tits most of the time that he just lets it pass?

His whole flat is truly is an abomination - well, the kitchen is ok if you ignore all the crap on the worktops and from those fucking manic cupboard handles - but it's a look all the chavs and Hinchers (one and the same really) seem to aspire to it judging by the hunners of comments on his grid post yesterday saying how gawjus it was. I was reading wondering if I have Kerry Katona disease as they're all clearly seeing something I'm not

 

[Johnnoijones]

Apparently mario and derek have split up my friend knows Marios brother and derek ended it.

We need all the details. If this is true I can go and collect Derek within the hour and can keep him safe