Cleaning with Mario #13 He can't believe it's not clutter

[Exhausted Pigeon]

I don't think Rayn's pink bowls are new, they're just the grey ones with a crust of fabulosa thats built up over time.

 

[Doodlebug71]

Batman has a bat cave ...marjorie has a tat cave ...so aye

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Pretty new to our M but SO many questions, hoping you can help me oot ma lovelies

1. He's serious yeah? About being a cleaning account? Seems to be but I swear some of it's like an episode of Gary Tank Commander so want to check
2. Do we ever see Derek? (I've only seen him in bed ill)
3. Do we ever see his lordship oot the hoose?
4. Does the cat get new bowls every other day? (only been following him a wee while and spotted about 6 changes already)

So aye, if somewan could fill me in, that would be great. If I don't reply straight away, dinnae worry, I'm awrite just mebbe taking a wee break, but I'm fine honestly - no dms or messages I AM FINE, so aye.....

Well you've certainly got the "just" of the lingo

1. He's deadly serious, but when he realised the cleaning account market was saturated and there was the possibility of better freebies than a couple of bags of supplies from Semichem, he opened up all areas of his life. But he's quite a private person
2. Dezza appeared more regularly in the past, but has definitely withdrawn himself over the last while. We believe he is being held against his will but is too baked to realise.
3. Just you wait til he gets ker-azee on a works night out with the lassies (average age 55)
4. Melv equates spending with caring and is a compulsive shopper. He has too many multiples of everything except little grey cells.

You might well get hunners n hunners or thoosands n thoosands of responses to your post in your tattle outbox.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

There should be a Melvin FAQ sticky for each thread.
- is Mario his real name?
- what lives in the mystery kitchen cupboard?
- why does Derek not realise he can do better?
- does Rayn hate Mario?
- why does Martin display his Shark hoover like a treasured family heirloom?
- how much rent does Mario pay?
Etc. Possibilities are endless.

 

[Bestlife@60]

Ah .... I love Delboy. I wish he would fuck the wee scrote off and find someone who appreciates him and treats him as an equal

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

That new tracksuit looks awfully flammable to me.

Derek, you bad boy!

 

[Boabie bunter]

Who on earth messaged Martin and asked him to model the man bags? Hysterical.. I’ve near rolled of the couch watching him. So... aye.. I’ve nothing else to tell ye!

 

[WookieCookie]

New thread suggestion - Eating shite with Marion McKnight

 

[Justlurkingaround]

Ohh Mazza you Luvlyy ya crack up with ye non greasy breakfast There

oor marions no feelin a greasy breakfast the day so hes only used about half a pint a oil to fry his tottie scone, nae debates oan his page noo thats jus no wit his page is aboot

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

As an experiment for science and the benefit of mankind and planet earth, we should all live as Melvin for a day and then do an impact report on:

1. How did it affect your breathing and your bowels?
2. Did you feel boujee and bespoke at any point?
3. Did other members of your household require medication / demand a divorce / sleep in the spare room / weep silently and glare balefully / open a Tik Tok account?
4. Does your pet now hate you?
5. How's your bank balance?

Test subjects must possess a wintry housecoat and a devil may care attitude.

Anyone?

 

[shadyessex33]

So he has been getting thoosands, not hunners, THOOSANDS!!! of messages about the wonder of make up that he invented. I love how he manages to stay so grounded, being the hooooge celeb and life changer that he is.

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

Wow. Those are some daggers she hates him

Lol why is this how I picture it when the camera is not rolling

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

What’s with the sample jars on top of the cake stand?

It's a donation to the sperm bank. Derek has to raise extra cash to pay for Melvin's treats somehow

 

[ayeayecaptain]

I would imagine that he feels as if he is in his brother’s shadow.
Older, successful in the scottish theatre circle, also gay therefore out before him (despite the nonsense of his parents worried reaction to him coming out - they had been through it before - wasn’t a new situation.)
Oh yeah, and another thing he’s a nice guy

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Can I just say 'cosy days' (which is usually accompanied by him clutching the grey monstrosity of a hoosecoat around his neck), makes me feel stabby.

Cosy is something I want to be in Autumn and Winter. I want comfy in Spring and summer. But that's our Melv - a man for no seasons!

Do you think there will come a day when he treats Delboy to a cheeky we gift? The greedy bastard. It’s Dereks flat, Derek has worked all through the pandemic, Dereks got him untold gifts, he’s never received a single thing in return. Grabby Marion is so lucky Dels not my son, I batter the piss taking knob headed ponce!!!

He did buy him a shiny Trackie - I think it was in the colour white so when they dress like his n his, they fit the colour palette of the tat cave. The pop of pink is introduced by the fact that Melv is a bell end

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Well I feel super honoured to be part of this super thread super full of like-minded super beyotches living our super best lives. It's one of those super days where it's super being me, super being you and its just super to be alive in this super corner of the world. I am super sure that the super thing to do is hope and pray that the super inspiration for us all, swings by for a gander so I can demonstrate how super different i am to him.

Melvin, I am super okay with the fact that my sink basin is the super old age of 13 years old. It may be super scuffed but it is still super functional. I am super sorry if that has you reaching for some super smelling salts.

I think I'm super done now. Super bawbag.

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

I can't take monzo seriously anymore after he storied yesterday that he 'reached out' to Danielle when he needed a new bed. Please make him stop

Oh and 'high' tea aye? Bet oor dezza enjoyed that didn't he aye? Nae debates plz.

Oh and whilst I am here monzo. Nobody wondered why you were quiet this morning. Like why would having a bit of food delivered to your door require you to be quiet all morning you absolute walloping bellllllllend.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

I actually watched all that. I now feel like smashing my head against a wall. I wear makeup most days, my makeup pouch is tiny. There are a few bits in a drawer for glam nights out, but that's it. My makeup also looks used, powder on the mirror, half-used lipstick or concealer, foundation pot a bit smeared. His looks like the drawer the salesperson goes into when you are buying something new.

I seriously think he has an addiction to shopping and showing off his stuff, he definitely uses this as a reflection of his personality. There really is nothing interesting about him at all is there. Well, apart from the unintentional hilarity.

 

[Cagayu]

Fingers crossed our Derek hasn’t got the rona. He’s too precious

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

I mean, imagine if he had IBS?