Cleaning with Mario #118 The only way is Essex

[Babybail93]

Omg please tell us when your wean decides to leave its high footfall area, @Babybail93 so we can all sit with criss and joose to wet the weans normal shaped heed. Are you going to be doing a virtual gender reveal aswell, so we can pick between the names Mario D'Agostin or Sadie Krystal? Also.

Haha I actually found out the gender this week. Ahm huving a boy! Which I’m glad of because my two girls are bespoke cunts, nae lie! Thinking of calling him Mario Disgustang Derek

 

[Shrekssister]

Good morning virus community oan this dayn of dawn of Saturday I've made us a bespoke essex trip bingo card #treatit

 

[AwwCosyWivDeek]

And a series of personalised stickers on the back.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Saw this reg plate being talked about on fb. Belongs to a Glaswegian restaurant owner apparently. Am sure once Deek passes his test Marion will be contacting Klarna to arrange a bespoke payday loan to buy it.

Not long now hens

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Could you put a whirly cunt washings line on the roof ma lovelie

So aye hen, also.

 

[mrsbucket]

This is undoubtedly the best thread on Tattle. There is no bickering, nobody takes it too far and youse are genuinely the funniest basterds oan this vile forum. Also, when newbies turn up and ask questions nobody says 'rEaD tHe WiKi' like a knob.

We all ken who the real villain is...

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Quick question! Have they ever been spotted consuming fruit or vegetables?!

The only time Marion consumes vegetables is when he's given oral to Derek. Also.

 

[Daisy Uncle]

Robert is a lot better name than Derek.

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Well, I didn't think this dayn of dawn would ever come. Come on Deek, pass your test, I'm dying for a car journey, a wax melt on the dash, cunt washings drying in the back. Moron on board sticker. Those eyelashes on the lights. Ooh cushions in the colour what the fuck.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

I hope we get treatit to Maz and Deek on a jet ski in Lanza. They’ll probably have to be rescued by the coast guard.
He’ll definitely copy Hinch and recreate that palm tree photo - posing like Marilyn Monroe in his fluorescent yellow unitard.
Bring it on my lovelies. Also.

 

[AwwCosyWivDeek]

A tenner says he’ll be wearing a skirt, blue eyeshadow, and telling us to call him Marianne.

 

[blocknroll]

In Memorium

2018 - 2024

Family flowers only. Mourners are welcome to join us for a steak pie dinner at the Redstones Hotel following the service.

 

[Icantwiththesepeople]

Is that Sydney in Australia??

Aye hen. Sydney in Australia. I was actually in a wee boujie cafe in the CBD, Sydney in Australia having a flat white while listening to Ooor Mario’s stories when a waitress came up to me and says “How ya Going? Crikey mate! Is that oor Mario, Patron Saint or Paisley on That App? Fair dinkum he’s absolute bonzer!”. Absolutely factual that happened.

Back to his stories. Fuck me another new sofa for the landfill. Go on Marion. Admit that the last one was an uncomfortable piece of shit. Or did the pregnancy pillow say it without saying it. Christ he gets new sofas more frequently than the average person gets new pants!

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

This is undoubtedly the best thread on Tattle. There is no bickering, nobody takes it too far and youse are genuinely the funniest basterds oan this vile forum. Also, when newbies turn up and ask questions nobody says 'rEaD tHe WiKi' like a knob.

We all ken who the real villain is...

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I totally agree, I hate when you ask one question and they say read the wiki. No you fat slag, I'm not reading 70 pages of wiki for wanting to know one thing. What I love about this thread is, when a new person comes in and asks questions, we all LOVE answering and retelling little stories. Pull the pig by @Babybail93 can be retold daily as far as I'm concerned. Also.

 

[Kat__lax]

Is one of them on tag or something? The need to be home by 6pm every night, I mean that would explain it.

 

[Madge2022]

Happy new thread day hens, a big congrats tae me I, Madge, the chosen mega influencer fur the thread title.

A personal invite tae @ohdoris tae the new thread, ah'd dae anything fur ma fans.

Last thread wuz such a treat, we've goat Deek's birthday tae look forward tae which includes a visit tae the Louden's bar. That was a real treat tae hear but might huv been toppled aff top spot fur the rumoured trip tae the Hinch crematorium/tend farm.

@menopausalmargrit made a comeback and we wur aw excited, then abandoned us again.

He also helped oor wee lassie Katie Perry thru her divorce as well. Saint Mario, saviour of small businesses and pop stars, also.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Hen's, I've been thinking the night. How many people do you think read this thread? Obviously some don't comment or even like posts, they just watch, but I'd love to know how many people read about our fat little pygmy.

 

[SuzyE]

"Life can do one today"... My close friend that has cancer is in surgery today to remove a brain tumour. You, Mario are an oxygen thief after saying that. You ungrateful bastard

 

[Madonna]

 

[Ferguson]

These were his baby names, so it'll either be one of them, or it'll be called Rayn-Also.
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Whatever he calls it we, the Virus Community are calling it Rayn-Also

 

[Babybail93]

My husband got me a bottle of the new Moschino perfume. I said you can ‘smell the wealth”. He went “that’s what that Scottish Harvey Price says isn’t it?”

I’m dead