My Mum never gets me the small thing I asked for and I actually think it’s really rude. She’s basically dismissing my preferences to say she knows better.
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OMG that’s amazing!!Lol just a really good willpower. I give up bread, chocolate and fizzy drinks. I lost 4 stone & haven’t looked back
Good for you - I so need to take a leaf out of your book in 2021!!Agree so much. My mum asked what I wanted (which was some nice glassware like wine glasses or cocktail glasses etc). She said she’d decided to get me some foundation but wanted to know which one... ok fine I told her which one. Then she turned around 3 days before xmas and said she didn’t think she’d have time to get to the shops to buy it so she’d get it me after Christmas or find something else. I put off buying new foundation over all the sales recently as I thought she was getting me some
and I think she is now waiting for one of those special offers for my brand to come up so she can get herself those freebies at the same time and that’s why she delayed it.she also insists on buying my partner the same bottle of whisky each year, which was fine when we’d not been together long but I’d like it if she gave him something more thoughtful, especially as his parents are very thoughtful with gifts to me. I mentioned a month ago that this year that maybe she could look to something else and she literally said “I want to do close family first message me in a week or 2” which found quite upsetting. I’ve been with my partner for almost 8 years! It’s not like she has loads to buy for! My dad, my sister and me. Yet she doesn’t count my SO as close family. My SOs paid for me to join them on holiday, they meticulously plan visits to spend time with us as much as possible and my mum can’t be arsed to put any thought into his gift.
Sorry for the rant I really needed to vent that.
Thanks hun. Life is short and is for living. Go easy on yourself xOMG that’s amazing!!
If you've bought for someone's kids do you find a text ok to thank you or do you prefer a letter/ card? I've got little ones too young to write so obviously someone else has to do it for them .
Perhaps we should set up a swap shop for unwanted Christmas gifts once we can share things more freely? One woman’s junk... I am a big supporter of giving things to charity shops that they can sell (saw that Mary Queen of shops programme which was an eye-opener) but I think there are more regulations about beauty products, for example because of allergies.
I started a new job in October the secret Santa budget was £20 which I thought was hefty but went along with it and put thought and effort even though I didn’t know the person at all, the day rolls around no gift for yours truly I assumed person was out sick after a few days manager gave me a generic present for people who hadn’t got one a cheap hand cream.... then the family secret santa comes around I got a step ladder stool my husbands family are all tall I pointedly am not 
I always like getting a text from my friends with little ones, some will send me a photo of them opening/playing with what I’ve bought them. They are still really little (under 2) but it’s always nice to see the gifts are appreciated
Haha you need to stick to collecting one colour of horse and hope he doesn’t noticeHubby was extremely upset when he found out that I had bought myself yet another horse!! (My Xmas Present to myself that he paid for LOL!!)
I always do thank you cards from my 14 month old, I will text too normally with pic of her wearing it playing with gift. Manners are very important to me.
Omg hand creams rile me up so so bad!! It’s the worst present ever omg! If I want to moisturise my hands I use a bit of my face or body one in the big bottlesI started a new job in October the secret Santa budget was £20 which I thought was hefty but went along with it and put thought and effort even though I didn’t know the person at all, the day rolls around no gift for yours truly I assumed person was out sick after a few days manager gave me a generic present for people who hadn’t got one a cheap hand cream.... then the family secret santa comes around I got a step ladder stool my husbands family are all tall I pointedly am not
I never ever remeber to do my hands probably once a week before bed! God such a boring thing to get sorry just had to express that somewhere ... think the only acceptable moisturiser as a present is a really nice face cream like body shop maybeI like it when I get a pic of the kid when they wear the clothes I usually get a pic of my god daughter a few weeks after once she’s worn it for the first time and I really like seeing that I’ve chosen well and it’s been worn it’s cute! They never expect anything and always say u don’t have to buy as they know I don’t have much money but I always try to get a couple tops at least as I know their struggling too
I always ask my friend what age range to wants too and I only buy clothes I know are her sort of style what she puts them in xxNo I agree with you I’d feel a bit embarassed doing presents for someone who didn’t for me. I could understand a random gift from a neighbour or colleague they wouldn’t really expect one back it’s just a act of kindness but a proper best friend I’d stop now since they don’t even seem to care I think that’s really hurtful of them. Like if she really appreciated it and said wow I lvoe this thank you so much it really cheered me up then fine I’d give without receiving but it’s a bit meh if it’s like oh thanks.... yeah just don’t next year .... just be friends without gift giving I thinkForgot to mention some family friends I always buy for their kids at Christmas just little £10 gifts. Last year they got my son something for his birthday. This year they didn’t even acknowledge his birthday, early December I posted their presents they sent back a thank you. Christmas Eve they messaged to say btw we aren’t buying for friends kids this year
Not just Christmas but some advice would be good. Another set of family friends we’ve always done gifts since birth their boys are 4 and 6. My son is 2, this year no happy birthday text even though I did both of there birthdays, card or even present. My husband dropped their Christmas presents off last week and got a thank you. Not even a card back or present back again. I’m not actually bothered about the presents but I feel that’s it’s I’m not doing anymore presents from us. It’s both their birthdays in April so I said to my husband I’m not going to bother he said I should and I look petty. What would you guys do? I just think it’s embarrassing to keep sending presents and not have reciprocated plus expensive!
it shouldn’t insult her as she can’t just take take take me and my friends all decided to stop now as we are just giving and receiving generic stuff mostly and it got a bit stupid so ueah just spend it on ur little boy xxx
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A message is good enough for me.
My SIL and I just seem to give each other the same candle back and forth each year or those reed diffuser things. This year I got a candle (very nice Ecoya one but I never burn candles).
I give my adult child exactly what she asks for. This year a kitchen appliance and a big box of fresh cherries. I often just give her money.
I give my adult child exactly what she asks for. This year a kitchen appliance and a big box of fresh cherries. I often just give her money.
I normally text a photo of them opening or in it/playing with it but do also always write a card too, it’s just how I was brought up and it doesn’t take long to write one personally
now he’s 2 I get him to squiggle in it crayons too. I would do cards for the older people as they appreciate it more and maybe just text the younger people?Personally if I’ve handed the kid the gift and they say thank you that’s plenty for me. My immediate family and I don’t do TY cards etc anymore, but the extended family I send a text if they have their number or a card if I don’t. Two of my kids have birthdays in the run up to December so I usually send an early Christmas card saying thank you as well.
Where do we stand on giving money for Christmas?
I have absolutely no problem with it. Think it solves a lot of the pressure on people to get the right gift for other people. In all honesty, I would much rather people don’t give me anything or just give me a £5 in a card rather than a Baylis and Harding gift set I can’t stand the smell of!
I appreciate the value of money given growing up we didn’t have much of it. I hate the thought of people wasting their money out of politeness. In my day to day life, i’m tight with my money (I’m not ashamed to say this- I work too bloody hard!) and at this stage in my life I’m big on savings and financial security. Give me £10 in my savings and I could not be happier!
My brother is the same. I popped £50 in a card last year as he’s into playing with the stock markets. He spent most of last Christmas day working out what stocks he wanted to invest in. This year he made a profit and was thrilled when I did the same this year. It was £50 well spent in my opinion, rather than waste money on buying gifts of socks and pants that as a grown man he doesn’t even need to be bought at Christmas.
I get why people do gifts. It’s a lovely concept. I gift my nieces and nephew with crap that I know they will enjoy and I know they like the opening of gifts etc. But buying adults things they don’t want or need doesn’t sit well with me. It feels wasteful. If someone directly tells me what they want as a gift, then I will give them that no problem. It’s the whole ASSUMING someone will like something you give them that drives me mad. That and the impression that giving money is impersonal and rude. It’s not in my opinion!
Secondly, i know I sound like a miserable cow and such a Scrooge but I also like Martin Lewis’ view on gift giving. Every year, he says that Christmas is a lovely time but for most without a lot of money it’s stressful and worrying. If you gift someone something then you are also giving them the pressure of getting something in return with money that person doesn’t have to waste. That honestly hits me so hard.
What does everyone else think?
I have absolutely no problem with it. Think it solves a lot of the pressure on people to get the right gift for other people. In all honesty, I would much rather people don’t give me anything or just give me a £5 in a card rather than a Baylis and Harding gift set I can’t stand the smell of!
I appreciate the value of money given growing up we didn’t have much of it. I hate the thought of people wasting their money out of politeness. In my day to day life, i’m tight with my money (I’m not ashamed to say this- I work too bloody hard!) and at this stage in my life I’m big on savings and financial security. Give me £10 in my savings and I could not be happier!
My brother is the same. I popped £50 in a card last year as he’s into playing with the stock markets. He spent most of last Christmas day working out what stocks he wanted to invest in. This year he made a profit and was thrilled when I did the same this year. It was £50 well spent in my opinion, rather than waste money on buying gifts of socks and pants that as a grown man he doesn’t even need to be bought at Christmas.
I get why people do gifts. It’s a lovely concept. I gift my nieces and nephew with crap that I know they will enjoy and I know they like the opening of gifts etc. But buying adults things they don’t want or need doesn’t sit well with me. It feels wasteful. If someone directly tells me what they want as a gift, then I will give them that no problem. It’s the whole ASSUMING someone will like something you give them that drives me mad. That and the impression that giving money is impersonal and rude. It’s not in my opinion!
Secondly, i know I sound like a miserable cow and such a Scrooge but I also like Martin Lewis’ view on gift giving. Every year, he says that Christmas is a lovely time but for most without a lot of money it’s stressful and worrying. If you gift someone something then you are also giving them the pressure of getting something in return with money that person doesn’t have to waste. That honestly hits me so hard.
What does everyone else think?
Yeah I totally agree! I’d rather someone saved their money then bought me a Dove gift set that will just sit in a cupboard. Now we all have kids, the adults in my family agreed we’d just buy for the kids going forward. Then this year my SIL decided to buy me a Nivea gift set, candle and bath bomb. A lovely gesture but I honestly wasn’t bothered and tbh would rather she’d spent the £15 or whatever on my wee boy. Plus she got my husband a Chelsea top and he was up the pole with guilt cos we got them nothing. I was like, well that’s up to them but I’m not being guilted into buying tat for each other every year for the sake of it.
we’ve always done money with non immediate family members e.g uncles and aunts but we end up swapping the same money and some family members that aren’t as financially secure end up worse off as they just have to put the money back for bills and can’t put it towards something nice! This year we decided we wouldn’t do it and had planned a secret Santa with one present at £20 but due to COVID and us not being able to spend the day together we didn’t bother but I imagine next year we will do the secret Santa over money to save everyone a bit of money in December. But generally I’m happy to receive money and would be happy to give money too! I’m the same when we’ve done secret Santa’s at work I would much rather have a fiver in a card than something I probably won’t use just because it’s in the budget!!
I think it’s ok to give money “down” a generation but not across to the same generation, and never up. It’s absolutely pointless if grown adults with jobs swap £20 notes amongst themselves.
Aww that's well tight, bless you
I tend to give money more for birthdays. My other half usually does money with his siblings for Christmas but I said to him what’s the point in giving money to receive the same amount back. Would rather ask them what they’d like or choose from a few options.
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