Childfree

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This thread has derailed massively to bashing working parents. I came here to discuss being childfree and choosing not to have children - couldn't give a tit about parents! Bit disappointed it has gone this way.
 
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This thread has derailed massively to bashing working parents. I came here to discuss being childfree and choosing not to have children - couldn't give a tit about parents! Bit disappointed it has gone this way.
I think working parents have it tough (especially over the past eighteen months) but I also think that many employers create this us and them issue by just expecting childfree people to be around all the time, to not need holidays during school breaks and so on. For a start, it’s not necessarily fair, childfree doesn’t necessarily mean ‘carefree‘ and it’s only really recently that caring etc has been recognised as something that may impact on someone’s ability to always be present (mentally and physically) at work. And that affects parents as much as non-parents. You’ll often hear people making assumptions that just because someone has an older or adult child that child doesn’t need them as much, which might not be true for all kinds of reasons.

For me, it’s all part of the the way childfree people, and especially childfree women, are viewed. However modern we are, there’s still a bit of an assumption that if you don’t have kids then you have no responsibilities and you’ll be there to help and support all the time and of course you won’t mind doing it. There was that book that came out recently - Olive or something - that was supposed to be about a woman choosing not to have kids but the way the character was presented, and the way the book ended, totally infuriated me. I won’t give away a spoiler but honestly, if you want to read it (don’t) be prepared to be enraged.
 
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This thread has derailed massively to bashing working parents. I came here to discuss being childfree and choosing not to have children - couldn't give a tit about parents! Bit disappointed it has gone this way.
My fault sorry, I was moaning about the perils of working with them, but in fairness it's only been for a few hours today so it's not that dramatic a derailment, so massively derailed is a bit of a stretch there!
 
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This thread has derailed massively to bashing working parents. I came here to discuss being childfree and choosing not to have children - couldn't give a tit about parents! Bit disappointed it has gone this way.
I don't agree that all of the comments here are "bashing" working parents.

I have been selected purposefully to cover certain days on support (namely Christmas Day and Boxing Day) and been expected to do over time I didn't ask for because I don't have children, my employer made that clear, particularly with the christmas period stuff. Its also been made clear to me as well that my reasons for not doing certain things or wanting certain flexibilities are totally inexplicable because I don't have children. These are realities of the workplace for some people.
 
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I don't agree that all of the comments here are "bashing" working parents.

I have been selected purposefully to cover certain days on support (namely Christmas Day and Boxing Day) and been expected to do over time I didn't ask for because I don't have children, my employer made that clear, particularly with the christmas period stuff. Its also been made clear to me as well that my reasons for not doing certain things or wanting certain flexibilities are totally inexplicable because I don't have children. These are realities of the workplace for some people.
I wasn't trying to bash anyone either, I was complaining about one person because as a childfree person I'm expected to take the slack, but never mind...onwards we go. A new thread soon anyway so perhaps specificity in the title would be good.
 
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I wasn't trying to bash anyone either, I was complaining about one person because as a childfree person I'm expected to take the slack, but never mind...onwards we go. A new thread soon anyway so perhaps specificity in the title would be good.
I don't think that you were bashing parents. You pointed a problem that many childfree people (me included) have been through.
 
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I don’t think there’s any bashing of working parents going on at all. We’ve said it’s not their fault that these situations arise. In my workplace it was primarily down to HR and senior management not taking a more strategic view of business and resource planning when making decisions regarding ‘back to work’ requests.

I might also add that by far the largest proportion of those who were irritated by the situation were working parents themselves - women and men, who happened to be full time workers and so were regarded by the company in the same way as child free woman ie free to stay late, work weekends, cover for others etc. They had children and families too. So I’m not having it that anyone is bashing working parents.

ETA - we can discuss anything that is an issue in relation to being child free. This is a valid issue that many of us have experienced.
 
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TBH I think all the mummies wading in to defend other procreators at all costs has been more derailing than the chat about expectations on childfree women in the workplace.

I’m in two minds about it all: if I had or wanted kids and knew I could take the piss, would I do it? Probably. Same as the teachers I used to work with who would time their babies so they’d come back from mat leave for two weeks at the end of summer term pregnant and know they’d be off again by January. The system shits on women from all angles so why wouldn’t you exploit it when we live in a society that expects women to be a source of both economic and reproductive labour?

BUT I also think this is so unfair on childless women for adding to the perception that women have to focus on the soft “caring” side. It’s this tit that leaves women expected to minute meetings they’re leading because none of the men will, or do more pastoral care in education settings. It all just entrenches outdated roles and lets men off the hook.
 
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This thread has derailed massively to bashing working parents. I came here to discuss being childfree and choosing not to have children - couldn't give a tit about parents! Bit disappointed it has gone this way.
I stopped reading a few pages back when people started talking about getting pregnant and asking questions like if anyone was worried we are leaving it too late to get pregnant 🤔 and came back today to see if it had moved on and it'd moved on to this. Like someone else said, hopefully the next thread will be more on topic.
 
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I stopped reading a few pages back when people started talking about getting pregnant and asking questions like if anyone was worried we are leaving it too late to get pregnant 🤔 and came back today to see if it had moved on and it'd moved on to this. Like someone else said, hopefully the next thread will be more on topic.
The title is simply ‘childfree’ - call me thick but that’s pretty open ended. Please specify exactly what we can and cannot talk about?
 
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I stopped reading a few pages back when people started talking about getting pregnant and asking questions like if anyone was worried we are leaving it too late to get pregnant 🤔 and came back today to see if it had moved on and it'd moved on to this. Like someone else said, hopefully the next thread will be more on topic.
Agreed, as I understood this thread was for those of us who are child free by choice. Of course people are going to discuss the issues based on their own experiences/situations which is fine. However, I feel that those of us who do choose to be child free have so little outlet for our views/concerns that it would be a shame if the thread went too far off track.
 
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Please can we not have people trying to moderate this thread?

As @Sweatingbullets has stated above, the thread is entitled Childfree so we can discuss anything that encompasses. If a particular topic isn’t for you that’s fine. I wasn’t particularly enamoured at the talk about being too late to conceive etc. But I just didn’t comment 🤷🏼‍♀️

ETA - there is a thread elsewhere about trying to conceive, so maybe we can leave that out.
 
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Just came to catch up and I’m so confused. I dipped out when someone started asking about worrying about not being able to get pregnant - I’d say not on topic for this thread tbh. But all the discussion about part time workers coming back after mat leave etc affects us in the workplace seems very on topic?
 
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Let's just start a new thread.

As far as I'm aware this was about being childfree by choice? Seems better to keep it around that rather than people worrying about not being able to have a child. If people want to talk about something else that can be on a different thread

 
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