Chidera Eggerue aka The Slumflower #2

[realhousewivewannabe]

sorry if this goes off topic slightly but I wanted to know if we could have a feminist thread following both their theories / ideologies/ whatever they say.

NGL I actually like the theory that men should pay. Partly as I dated someone who didn’t think the gender pay gap was even real. But I also wouldn’t want to be a “kept woman”.

I can’t keep up with their stories anymore so have given up

 

[urghmummybloggers]

sorry if this goes off topic slightly but I wanted to know if we could have a feminist thread following both their theories / ideologies/ whatever they say.

NGL I actually like the theory that men should pay. Partly as I dated someone who didn’t think the gender pay gap was even real. But I also wouldn’t want to be a “kept woman”.

I can’t keep up with their stories anymore so have given up

I actually have loved this thread for the discussion around feminist theories - it’s been one of the most informative I’ve seen on tattle and 99% time really educational.

 

[Wagatha]

She didn't seem that bothered the other day when she was out with friends on instagram, not complying to social distancing/breaking lockdown rules...

Ive been out of the loop, what was this??

 

[Greenlentils]

Ive been out of the loop, what was this??

She was on a friend's stories the other day out in public with them and posing/hugging for photos. No social distancing. I think it was the friend who owns the dogs that she is always commenting about/posting etc. Seems she had the sense to keep it off her own story but not theirs... Why do these 'influencers' think they're beyond the rules?

 

[Lalisa_mb]

sorry if this goes off topic slightly but I wanted to know if we could have a feminist thread following both their theories / ideologies/ whatever they say.

NGL I actually like the theory that men should pay. Partly as I dated someone who didn’t think the gender pay gap was even real. But I also wouldn’t want to be a “kept woman”.

I can’t keep up with their stories anymore so have given up

Check out female dating strategy on Reddit! You’d enjoy it xx
To start off with

 

[korma]

Check out female dating strategy on Reddit! You’d enjoy it xx
To start off with

This makes me feel ill this is like the flip side of incel reddit lmao. You do you tho

Anyways just wanted to share these stories of Slunflower shading Loud Bossy Gross for her new anti-woke stance. Once again extrapolating actual Black and Indigenous struggles and mapping them onto the FG scenario

 

[sleepflowers]

Check out female dating strategy on Reddit! You’d enjoy it xx
To start off with

I love FDS. Some of the posts are harsh, but I think anything encouraging women to be more discerning and intolerant of men's bull is a good idea.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Tbh my biggest worry is that she’s getting a load of girls on £20k a year to submit to men on £50k a year as if that’s worth trading their independence for. Like sadly proper wealth is held by a tiny % of the population and they’re certainly not dating outside those circles or women that want them to pay for their time on dates (yes you’d expect them to pay for the date, or any bloke really ngl). Same with “higher” earners (eg over the additional rate threshold), but even then a high income is absolutely not wealth & can come crashing down at any time so would be stupid to rely on? All of this just feels so joyless and loveless too??

The advice is dangerous. We’ve all grown up either having mums ducked over financially by dads or mates who have, it feels like TSF has entirely forgotten this happened? I’m in a situation where I’m very lucky but I won’t ever give up my career because I’ve got a baby I’m always going to be responsible for, even if the dad wants to duck off halfway across the world (which they can & they do!).

 

[Lalisa_mb]

Tbh my biggest worry is that she’s getting a load of girls on £20k a year to submit to men on £50k a year as if that’s worth trading their independence for. Like sadly proper wealth is held by a tiny % of the population and they’re certainly not dating outside those circles or women that want them to pay for their time on dates (yes you’d expect them to pay for the date, or any bloke really ngl). Same with “higher” earners (eg over the additional rate threshold), but even then a high income is absolutely not wealth & can come crashing down at any time so would be stupid to rely on? All of this just feels so joyless and loveless too??

The advice is dangerous. We’ve all grown up either having mums ducked over financially by dads or mates who have, it feels like TSF has entirely forgotten this happened? I’m in a situation where I’m very lucky but I won’t ever give up my career because I’ve got a baby I’m always going to be responsible for, even if the dad wants to duck off halfway across the world (which they can & they do!).

It’s not reliance it’s simply date people who enhance your life and finances is a huge part of that, I was one of those girls who thought that way (the example of the 20k girl for 50k guy etc) but reality is you have to use your common sense and realise it’s not about bagging a rich guy it’s about accepting the best rather than settling

 

[aka123]

It’s not reliance it’s simply date people who enhance your life and finances is a huge part of that, I was one of those girls who thought that way (the example of the 20k girl for 50k guy etc) but reality is you have to use your common sense and realise it’s not about bagging a rich guy it’s about accepting the best rather than settling

How about date people that actually enhance your life, not just your “financial” life. You know men with less money to spend can enhance your life just as much? I’ll enhance my own life by earning my own money. I really don’t understand this take on relationships.

 

[frostily]

How about date people that actually enhance your life, not just your “financial” life. You know men with less money to spend can enhance your life just as much? I’ll enhance my own life by earning my own money. I really don’t understand this take on relationships.

Agreed. Absolutely don’t be with someone who has a lot less than you and just lives off you and doesn’t contribute (for a good reason, obviously ill health and other life circumstances happen!) but then that’s just a form of abuse. That’s not feminism.

 

[Lalisa_mb]

How about date people that actually enhance your life, not just your “financial” life. You know men with less money to spend can enhance your life just as much? I’ll enhance my own life by earning my own money. I really don’t understand this take on relationships.

Lol ok
I’m not going to argue on MY standards and someone tell me I’m wrong. Settle for what you want, I’ve dated poor and rich guys so whatever honestly
If 50/50 is good enough for you, congrats

Agreed. Absolutely don’t be with someone who has a lot less than you and just lives off you and doesn’t contribute (for a good reason, obviously ill health and other life circumstances happen!) but then that’s just a form of abuse. That’s not feminism.

I’m not a feminist so I couldn’t give a duck
There’s no such thing as equality for all but you do you

This makes me feel ill this is like the flip side of incel reddit lmao. You do you tho

Anyways just wanted to share these stories of Slunflower shading Loud Bossy Gross for her new anti-woke stance. Once again extrapolating actual Black and Indigenous struggles and mapping them onto the FG scenario

You sound like a pick me girl so I see why it’s not for you

 

[thepantsqueen]

You sound like a pick me girl so I see why it’s not for you

calling someone a pick me girl just because they don’t agree is such a lazy argument

pick me girls wanna be first in line for defending trash men over women, not agreeing with a Reddit thread isn’t pick me behaviour.

I find that thread interesting myself and I wouldn’t compare it to incel guys at all but I wouldn’t be throwing insults at another woman just cos they don’t agree with me

 

[aka123]

Lol ok
I’m not going to argue on MY standards and someone tell me I’m wrong. Settle for what you want, I’ve dated poor and rich guys so whatever honestly
If 50/50 is good enough for you, congrats

Not saying you should lower your standards. You sound offended, not sure why. I just said I don’t understand why it is considered normal, or even okay, to value another human being (in this case: men) on the basis of how much money they have/earn.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Not saying you should lower your standards. You sound offended, not sure why. I just said I don’t understand why it is considered normal, or even okay, to value another human being (in this case: men) on the basis of how much money they have/earn.

The thing that makes me laugh is they’re never even talking about wealthy or even rich men and they’re chucking a happy life down the pan for much of a muchness, and alienating female friends in the process. Sad really.

 

[aka123]

The thing that makes me laugh is they’re never even talking about wealthy or even rich men and they’re chucking a happy life down the pan for much of a muchness, and alienating female friends in the process. Sad really.

They also don’t seem to understand that “men with less” can become “men with more”.

 

[Babysnark]

They also don’t seem to understand that “men with less” can become “men with more”.

Preach! I've had this happen in 2 of my 3 relationships - my first boyfriend was working in call centres skint af and I helped him sort his CV and apply for different jobs and now he's a manger on v good money basically because of me (or so I like to tell myself) My current partner has just become a manager as well and doubled his income in the 3 years we've been together. Neither of them were 'rich' when we got together and it wasn't even something I considered when I started dating them...

 

[Guccigal]

Preach! I've had this happen in 2 of my 3 relationships - my first boyfriend was working in call centres skint af and I helped him sort his CV and apply for different jobs and now he's a manger on v good money basically because of me (or so I like to tell myself) My current partner has just become a manager as well and doubled his income in the 3 years we've been together. Neither of them were 'rich' when we got together and it wasn't even something I considered when I started dating them...

Good for you! But this becomes more nuanced when you specifically focus on black communities, unfortunately we don’t have the luxury of always going on “potential”. BW earn more and are overall more educated than our male counterparts meaning it’s already difficult to find someone you’re equal with and it’s common for women in our communities to support and stick with men while theyre on the way up, helping them emotionally and financially, only for them to ditch you once they earn more and their dating pool is widened

I’d love to just date whoever and give people chances to grow, and sure it goes well sometimes, but it’s not viable and the odds aren’t great

 

[Babysnark]

Good for you! But this becomes more nuanced when you specifically focus on black communities, unfortunately we don’t have the luxury of always going on “potential”. BW earn more and are overall more educated than our male counterparts meaning it’s already difficult to find someone you’re equal with and it’s common for women in our communities to support and stick with men while theyre on the way up, helping them emotionally and financially, only for them to ditch you once they earn more and their dating pool is widened

I’d love to just date whoever and give people chances to grow, and sure it goes well sometimes, but it’s not viable and the odds aren’t great

Thank you for your perspective - my experience is definitely biased and I agree I've been lucky to not have to consider finances early on. Sorry - I've realised how limited my experience is and my privilege to not even think about it

 

[aka123]

Good for you! But this becomes more nuanced when you specifically focus on black communities, unfortunately we don’t have the luxury of always going on “potential”. BW earn more and are overall more educated than our male counterparts meaning it’s already difficult to find someone you’re equal with and it’s common for women in our communities to support and stick with men while theyre on the way up, helping them emotionally and financially, only for them to ditch you once they earn more and their dating pool is widened

I’d love to just date whoever and give people chances to grow, and sure it goes well sometimes, but it’s not viable and the odds aren’t great

Of course, but this is an entirely different argument than those made above and by SF. Right? Because you don’t seem to imply that everything should be paid FOR you, but you want to be with someone equally educated who has a job. That makes so much sense. It is true that it probably won’t work to just date anyone and hope they land a job later.