Caroline Flack

[Cantstandspanj]

I can’t understand why she was left alone by her friends after her suicide attempt the previous day.

Mollys testimony implies she thought the paramedics should’ve done more and Caroline should’ve been taken to hospital!

If she felt that strongly why leave her unattended the following day. The media says Caroline was angry with Molly and Louise and told them to leave! I get that, but if it were my friend I would definitely refuse until someone else had turned up to ensure her safety.

To me Caroline’s death seems completely avoidable but inevitable at the same time!

 

[truffletrot]

I dont think that, as a parent, she has to be objective about her daughter. But keep it private! The problem is the media exploiting someone's grief, stirring up emotions, and because it is so emotive they can't exactly ask any tough questions. Just like Carolinevwas too fragile and unstable to be in the public eye, her mum shouldn't be either. The absolute irony of it all, learnt nothing from a really sad situation.

Caroline would HATE what her mother is doing, no?

she didn’t want all her business out there!

 

[thegrumpos]

Yes because what else can you do when someone is having a huge meltdown, there is a real risk either to them or yourself - you call the police. Being woken up by an object being thrown at you, someone screaming, threatening self harm (and carrying through with it), that’s fucking scary. Of course he called the police, who wouldn’t.
perhaps now with the outcome he wishes he hadn’t called them but even if he hadn’t - perhaps she would have put a knife in him or even herself in the next moment.
It is impossible to say where different choices or actions might lead, the tiny details are irrelevant here, we are not trying to solve a murder mystery.

 

[Topaz]

Wasn’t a fan either, since her death her name gets bandied about as a reminder of how the press and media led to her death. People (mostly women) get told to “be kind” if anything vaguely critical is said about another woman in the public eye.

A lot of her lifestyle and relationship choices are mostly hinted at now. She thrived off the column inches dedicated to her love life, dress sense and party lifestyle. Like most female presenters who are largely chosen for their looks I think she lived in fear of being replaced by someone younger and hotter.

She now always gets used as a byword for a star being hounded by the press but she wasn't really hounded until the last couple of months of her life and that was because she'd done something illegal. What I mean is, before the assault she was featured in the tabloids a lot but she wasn't a hate figure or someone the media revelled in targeting. Thinking of female celebrities who were constantly ridiculed for their looks, their weight, their relationships, their lifestyle, she wasn't one of them. There'd be articles about her love life but it wasn't relentless Caroline Flack stories until she assaulted her boyfriend.

 

[ChastityDingle]

And the ‘be kind’ bullshit can get in the fucking bin because it’s always used to shut up anyone with a dissenting pov no matter how constructive.

Exactly this. The most misused phrase in the English language, imo. Used to shout people down, which is not, ahem kind.

 

[tagliatelle]

I know everyone will come down hard on me but imo/experience, The Samaritans aren’t the best option. It very m, very difficult to get through, when you do they tell you to talk to a friend or family member and time is up. When you are in deep despair I think you need someone with you who will hang on in there with you.

I agree re The Samaritans. Maybe my view is clouded but a close family member died by suicide and there was absolutely no way we could have safeguarded her 24/7.

Spoiler

She was sectioned for a bit so objectively “safe” but the environment had a negative effect overall on her mental health. And then when she was home, she waited until we were all engaged with other stuff (still in the same house) and took her chance.

Sorry for me-railing but this is the crux of Caroline’s mum’s issue. If someone really wants to end their life you can’t stop them. Everyone did their best in the situation they were in with the knowledge they had. It’s easy to say with hindsight, but impossible to know whole you’re in the situation.

 

[Cosytidy]

From what LT said CF was left alone in the days as she didn’t attempt in the day. TBF LT & friends have jobs, kids etc. It can’t be expected they were with her 24/7. LT said CF would decline care or support & we know the threshold for sectioning is too high. CF had the money to go to private in patient care but chose not to.
It’s easy to judge LT for being with AC but with regards to the CF situation I don’t think LT did anything wrong & in fact was a good support to CF.

 

[Very traditional]

Before anyone starts, I was never a CF fan, but if anyone had read her book (which I did out of curiosity of why someone would have taken their life) she was very insecure from an early age and being a twin didn’t help. Also every BF she had been with, cheated on her. I doubt that Caroline trusted anyone. Yes, she had her insecurities that manifested.. but who doesn’t when their trust is betrayed?
She shouldn’t have hit out.. she should have told him to hop it and fxck off.

Lewis is an absolute shite and will milk this in years to come, with a book or serialisation in the Sunday papers.

I feel sorry for Lottie, he’s a fame hungry leach.. any news is good news for him, hence the selfish display of staying with Lottie whilst this was going on for the two days. Zero respect for Caroline or her family.

Imagine ending your life for an utter twat like that.

She could have admitted it all and turned it around. No one deserves to lose their life.

We are here for a good time, not a long time.

I’ve read her book too and you’re right she was shockingly insecure for someone who seemed to have it all and the constant comparisons between her and her sister were sad, I think she definitely envied her sisters life of stability and normality even as teenagers.

I don’t like Lewis in the slightest, he was just another of those celeb hanger ons and I agree he will milk the limelight in years to come but I do find all the victim blaming really weird. Whether she was a serial abuser or not (and Im pretty sure this wasn’t the first drunken violent incident in her relationships) the fact remains that she still assaulted him, regardless of him not being the perfect victim.

I do find it very telling now ITV immediately suspended Caroline yet Ant Mcpartlin who is their pride of family tv crashes his car in to another family in a drug and drink haze and completely humiliated his wife has the full support of The corporation and is allowed to heal and rebuild his career with no judgement!

 

[The Devils Arse]

Whilst I feel for her mother, she should not be blaming the police for wanting a prosecution rather than a caution. How many times have the police been blamed when they have been given a caution instead of a prosecution in domestic cases?

Its been a while since I was in the police, but from what I recall CPS would not allow a caution to be given in DA cases, especially when there was injury involved.

Its a dreadful situation. However the fact someone has MH issues does not negate what happened, and certainly shouldn't be a factor in making a decision whether to prosecute or not. How many times have there been domestic incidents when the offending partner cries, wails, threatens self harm etc. It is another coercive tactic over their partner, and is exactly why these cases must be prosecuted.

Also wanted to add - if CF was only given a caution, how does that look to the very many silent men who are suffering DA?

 

[BugglyWuggly]

The trailer for the new documentary is a strange one. Hearing her personal voice notes when she's distressed just feels wrong.

 

[GeminiMoon]

I’m in two minds about whether to post this because it is an insensitive and unkind thing to say about a grieving woman but...this is a place for honesty.

It’s crossed my mind that Caroline’s mum’s behaviour during the inquest, including the type of statements she has made, her disinclination to recognise accountability (on behalf of Caroline) for the crime and her infantilising of Caroline, may somewhat explain some of the mental health struggles Caroline experienced. That’s absolutely not to say she is to blame for what happened or is a terrible mother or anything of the sort. But both mother and daughter appear to have some histrionic traits. Having said that, I understand grief and the stress of the circumstances could easily make anyone behave out of character.

It may be because of a difference in the level of media coverage but I think usually the families of murder victims, for example, are reported to behave appropriately in court or during an inquest. If Caroline’s mum wanted answers from those she felt were to blame (and I totally understand seeking to place blame when you’re grieving) there are many formal and appropriate processes to allow her to seek those answers that don’t include berating a policewoman during her daughter’s inquest.

 

[BugglyWuggly]

I'm sure Lou hopefully takes some comfort in knowing that she did everything she could for her. The rest is noise, she's the one that can sleep at night without a guilty conscience.

The mother was on This Morning last week and on Spencer Matthew's podcast today. I'm sure there's more too and papers/magazines. I get she wants to promote it but I have a feeling she's going to be all over the place

 

[Mookiegoose]

Her mum even said in the documentary on channel 4 that every time something bad happened, she was worrying her phone would ring to say Caroline had topped herself. The lass obviously had such insecurity and huge problems. How many times had she tried before? She was obviously determined.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

She was a woman in the public eye who smacked a sleeping boyfriend over the head with a lamp. Of course there was press attention. She could have killed him.

I’m very intolerant of men’s violence against women but I’m equally intolerant of people refusing to take responsibility for their mental health. Everyone in her life tried to help her but she refused the help. She had the money and the opportunity to work on herself but she didn’t.

Suicide is only ever the choice of the person who chose to do it. No one should ever have to take responsibility for someone else’s death*

* excluding extreme torture situations obvs

 

[Piff paff puff]

I mean no disrespect, but was it ever addressed why Caroline always seemed to date much younger men?

Suspended maturity I'd guess. Probably saw herself as forever 21 mentally.

 

[elepal]

Her Mum needs to STFU and stop blaming everyone else - if I thought for one second that one of my children was that close to the edge, I'd be glued to their sides screaming for professional help and not stopping until I had it.

This. Just read the Guardian article, and the bit about "I had to collect her from school a few times because they couldn't stop the crying" really stood out to me. There is no suggestion in the article that anyone sought help for what sound like early-onset (and lifelong) problems with mood regulation.

https://www.archive.is/oldest/https...interview-search-for-truth-documentary-disney

 

[ahtisyourself]

It was icky how the doc referred to her “romance” with Harry Styles in a way that painted her as an it girl who turned all the heads of the men around her. That relationship was completely inappropriate!

 

[GoLando]

The inquest definitely said Caroline admitted it when the police arrived at the scene but then changed her story at the station. Wasn't the police bodycam footage going to be used in court? I remember reading this at the time somewhere? That Caroline was distraught at the prospect of this? I think they had a pretty strong case against her and she knew it.

In hindsight it's easy to blame Lewis for calling the police but if your fast asleep and then woken up by being whacked on the head and your bleeding you dont know how you'd react, it's not a normal occurrence is it? He obviously felt unsafe at the time and called the police, that what Caroline's doing, her action had consequences and I dont think it's fair to blame him for it.

I find it deeply alarming that people are blaming a VICTIM for calling the police

 

[Moley1]

I completely disagree. To keep fighting when all you want to do is escape, can feel impossible. Its heartbreaking for those left behind, but its heartbreaking feeling like that also.

I couldn’t agree more. It is the most awful situation to be in and those who have not been there can never understand the hell and torment that you go through. I can fully understand why those left behind are angry, but they need to try and understand that it is a place where reason and logic disappear into a fog of despair and confusion. People see you with an arm in a sling and you get tons of sympathy. Mental illness often shows no clear outward signs and garners very little sympathy. Suicide is awful both for those who die by their own hand and for those too who are left behind.

 

[troutpout69]

At the end of the day, the CPS advised persecution, so there must have been enough evidence to go to court otherwise it would have been thrown out. Unfortunately Caroline was ill equipped to deal with her MH issues and I think it was swept under the carpet by tv production. The press were actually pretty kind to her initially. She was hugely popular, pretty and obviously attracted men very easily. Unfortunately she couldn’t hold down relationships and I’d imagine she was a very demanding difficult person to be with. Nobody is to blame for her choice to commit suicide. I agree with other posters that she would have found another reason to do it another time.