Caroline Flack

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I wondered about that too. I don’t know if we’ll ever find out.
I thought it could be about why the CPS were still pressing charges etc I don’t know much about the legal system and totally understand why there are things in place to protest people but it did come across like they were making an example out of her especially if they were right in that it was an accident. But we don’t really know what happened so it’s hard to say.
 
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I thought it could be about why the CPS were still pressing charges etc I don’t know much about the legal system and totally understand why there are things in place to protest people but it did come across like they were making an example out of her especially if they were right in that it was an accident. But we don’t really know what happened so it’s hard to say.
This idea that the CPS would want to make an example of someone or conduct a show trial is utter nonsense. They either believe that it is in the public's interest to pursue a conviction, with what they think is enough evidence, or they don't. A very public trial would be under even closer scrutiny than any other, and would therefore have only been conducted by the book. To the letter of the law, the letter (Ted Hastings)
I know it's not what those close to CF want to hear, but the CPS truly believed that she was guilty of a crime, and that the evidence was sufficient to achieve a guilty verdict. This is just how it works.
 
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This idea that the CPS would want to make an example of someone or conduct a show trial is utter nonsense. They either believe that it is in the public's interest to pursue a conviction, with what they think is enough evidence, or they don't. A very public trial would be under even closer scrutiny than any other, and would therefore have only been conducted by the book. To the letter of the law, the letter (Ted Hastings)
I know it's not what those close to CF want to hear, but the CPS truly believed that she was guilty of a crime, and that the evidence was sufficient to achieve a guilty verdict. This is just how it works.
I was just saying that’s what Lewis comment could be about.
 
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I believe that the volunteers are told not to tell someone they shouldn’t commit suicide, only to listen and talk. Although I think they can alert the authorities where they have genuine concerns. Their training doesn’t include advice - only to listen, only to try and cajole someone into a better place.

My Aunty volunteers for the Samaritans after her husband committed suicide. She hasn’t ever talked about her training, someone else I know spoke about their experience, as it wasn’t what they expected.
I've course I'm not tarnishing all volunteers with the same brush, but none of those three episodes were particularly helpful. Being told to man up, to let a violent man in and stop being rude and to stop being a dramatic burden?

I won't share Samaritims for these reasons. They may be told not to give advice but they still share damaging opinions.
 
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I've just had a look at Andrew Brady's IG page. I'm not attacking his grief - obviously he must be distraught - but to put all that on his profile after he properly put the boot in when Caroline was arrested seems very poor form to me.
that’s unfair .... the lad is obviously going through hell
at the end of the day we don’t know the in and outs of the relationship
and Caroline wasn‘t a saint in all this.....
dare say if you were in a toxic relationship and someone had treated you badly
you’d feel inclined to put the boot in too.... when someone’s been abused by someone
verbally or physically it doesn’t mean the love vanishes you can hate them and the things they do but still love them at the same time....
He is as much of a victim of her as she was to herself
 
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that’s unfair .... the lad is obviously going through hell
at the end of the day we don’t know the in and outs of the relationship
and Caroline wasn‘t a saint in all this.....
dare say if you were in a toxic relationship and someone had treated you badly
you’d feel inclined to put the boot in too.... when someone’s been abused by someone
verbally or physically it doesn’t mean the love vanishes you can hate them and the things they do but still love them at the same time....
He is as much of a victim of her as she was to herself
I’m not talking about his behaviour then - I agree there’s lots we don’t know and I’m not saying CF is a saint at all. I’m referring to his actions since she’s passed away - seems crass to me to put it all ‘out there’.
 
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I find all this #bekind stuff very belittling. There was a lot of pent up anger within Caroline. Obviously she hurt Lewis and previous boyfriends because she was angry, she hurt herself because she was angry. It could be that the red mist descended which caused her to kill herself. I've had these issues myself and the times I've tried to kill myself have usually been because I was so angry I just wanted to die. Being angry makes you lose total control. I've never hurt anyone else though just myself. I get the impression she may have been in a mid fit of rage and killed herself, thinking and thinking and getting angrier and angrier until.... People seem to think she just sat down and planned it, theres not always a clear thought process going on.
How do you know she hurt other partners?
 
I’m not talking about his behaviour then - I agree there’s lots we don’t know and I’m not saying CF is a saint at all. I’m referring to his actions since she’s passed away - seems crass to me to put it all ‘out there’.
Grief does weird things to people. It really annoys me when people come out of the woodwork in such support after the person has died. Suddenly she was amazing, the best thing in the whole world, but I bet when these charges were brought and she was struggling mentally and needed treatment people scattered, especially the showbiz lot who are now saying “be kind” . Serious mental health problems scare people. So many people are fair weather friends and were probably there more than willing to ride on her coat tails of success (therefore probably denying perhaps she’s struggling) then when she finally breaks down off they go. Maybe it wasn’t the case in Caroline’s situation but I’ve seen it happen so many times, humanity is sadly so predictable.
 
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I've just had a look at Andrew Brady's IG page. I'm not attacking his grief - obviously he must be distraught - but to put all that on his profile after he properly put the boot in when Caroline was arrested seems very poor form to me.
Caroline’s friends today have posted to not follow people who are passing the blame and that’s not what she wanted ! I think aimed at
Andrew
 
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There are some really great posts on this thread, thank you for sharing.
I am a bit fed up of people minimising the violence. Yes she was not guilty of anything yet, as her trial had not been held. But she had been charged which suggests a reasonable allegation, and the evidence reported from the magistrates hearing painted a picture of intentional violence towards her boyfriend. However, in the trial we may have seen the facts on which the prosecution was based were not robust - we will now never know.

but I really hate people glossing over it as just an accident or “bet he was giving it as good as her” etc. Yes couples row but violence towards any person is never ok unless in self defence which the law recognises. There was no suggestion of this in CFs case from what we know. Nor that she was unfit to stand trial due to mental illness. Clearly she was troubled but mental illness isn’t a free card to do what you want. Actions have consequences. I can’t just say I’m stressed and anxious about my workload at work and stabbed my boss so that’s ok.
I agree about the Samaritans as well. It’s an important charity but not equipped to handle mental health illnesses that require medication and / or counselling. I think the influencers and celebs posting the number everywhere is so disingenuous. Clearly these people have never had mental health problems otherwise they wouldn’t be suggesting a quick chat to the Samaritans as a fix all.
Her solicitors may well have brought up the issue of capacity as the trial got closer. Although I suspect the potential of her being deemed unfit for trial, would expose all of the things she didn't want to have exposed.
 
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Caroline’s friends today have posted to not follow people who are passing the blame and that’s not what she wanted ! I think aimed at
Andrew
Goodness! I really am not digging at him, he must feel dreadful but I just don’t understand why it all needs to be so public - I guess that comes back to seeking validation 🤷🏼‍♀️
 
Long time lurker here.

I've been following this thread from the start and the only thing that is clear is that we each see this tragic unfolding of events via the narrative of our own experiences.

When I was 20 I threw a glass bottle of ketchup at a man who had emotionally abused me for 3 years.

He moved and it smashed up the wall.

He called the police and said i had tried to beat him over the head with it.

Luckily for me when the police came the one officer
must have got a feel that something was off as after talking to us both he asked if there was somewhere else I wanted to stay that night. I said yes, packed a bag and they took me to my parents.

That wasn't the end obviously but that's a long story.

Imagine how different my life could have gone if he hadn't moved out of the way.

I'm not saying that this is what happened with CF.

I'm not saying that there is any excuse for violence or that it shouldn't be punished.

I AM saying that context is relevant. And that's what we will never get here. Only Lewis now knows what exactly happened prior to the police arrival.
Please don’t think I’m diminishing your story but I have do story too.
My step father regularly lashed out. Police were regularly called. He would threaten suicide if my mum made murmurs of leaving him. He made a few attempts- the dv against myself, my mum and my little sister continued.
On one occasion, he threw me into a big old wooden toy box. My lower back collided with the wooden corner. Police were called and I had to go to hospital.
I was about 16. I wanted to press charges. However, the cause of this argument was I owed him £1. In a fit of teenage strop, I chucked a £1 at him. It hit him on his head. For this reason I could not press charges as I had been complicit in the violence.
I could list many other encounters.
I’m not making comment on yours or CF’s individual circumstances- my long waffley comment is really to show that dv is not linear, it’s complicated and everyone who’s ever experienced it will have a different story. We can’t make carte blanche comments on this case. We just don’t know what happened- none of us are good witnesses in our own lives. It’s impossible to be objective.
Dv is still taboo and even more taboo when it’s a woman against a man.
This whole situation is sad. There’s no winners. Only losers all round.
 
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I don't know whether this will help, but:

  • When someone attempts suicide it's not the job of the Ambulance crew to assess that person's risk to self, and whether or not they need hospital admission. That job would be reserved for the Psychiatric Liaison Team/Crisis Team/IHBTT (Intensive Home Based Treatment Team.
  • Refusing to accept treatment wouldn't necessarily prevent that person receiving an intervention. Capacity would be a factor, and there is the facility to place that person under a section.
  • Many Crisis services operate on a positive risk taking approach. Someone saying they're going to kill themselves, or indeed making an attempt to kill themselves, might not necessarily trigger an in patient intervention, but might trigger an intensive home based intervention, or possibly nothing. There is an emphasis on the least invasive intervention possible to ensure that person's safety
  • It is highly unlikely that someone presenting like CF hadn't presented like this before. I would imagine that she has had contact with MH Services in the past, and possibly in the present, and those services would and will have been assessing risk regularly as part of her care package (assuming anyone was currently involved).
  • If the MH Services weren't contacted, the Police wouldn't have been able to remove her from her home, as a Sec136 (place of safety) would only apply to her if she was out of her home
  • Impulsive suicides are difficult to predict, therefore difficult to provide care for. This type of presentation could potentially manifest as numerous attempts and threats of suicide. CF was 40yrs old, and this type of difficulty develops in childhood. She's lived with this a long time.
  • There was an old research paper that suggested that 65% of persistent self harmers eventually complete a suicide, be that intentionally, or accidentally, and a more recent publication (I think from Australia), that suggested that only 1.6% of people who say they're going to commit suicide, actually do.
  • Fame is often a honey trap for people who need desperately for validation that is so explicit that they can't argue against it. Adoration is like petrol. Not everyone in public eye is like that, I can assure you, but it's like the observation that many people in front of the cameras on a regular basis are. no taller than 5'2" :D It's not an exact rule, but it's a. common finding. The paradox is, that with every person that adores you, there are 10 that want to pull you down to within an inch of your psychological life. Some people deal with it, some people can't live with it. So, in finding the thing that helps you live, you also attract the thing that kills you.
  • When we treat people with this kind of presentation, often a fundamental part of that is being boundaried. Boundaries in how we communicate with them, boundaries around acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, and boundaries around how much time the service will devote to addressing that person's issues. We have had people phoning the Ambulance service 50 times a day, contacting our Duty Team 50 times a day, threatening suicide when clear boundaries aren't in place. The client responds well to those boundaries (which might sound counter intuitive), but one of the worst feelings in the world for someone with this presentation, is the feeling you get when you're alone, when you think you're going to be rejected, or when nothing in your life seems certain. Emotional Dysregulation is devastating if unmanaged.
I don't know whether this clears anything up, or is just stuff everyone already knew, but there you go :)
 
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Her solicitors may well have brought up the issue of capacity as the trial got closer. Although I suspect the potential of her being deemed unfit for trial, would expose all of the things she didn't want to have exposed.
Her fitness for trial would have already been established by the CPS prior to the decision to charge being made.
It has been reported that she received medical attention during her time in police custody, and at this point she would've been assessed. If there was a suggestion made that she was unfit for trial (unlikely as problems have to be quite bad) they would've checked this before charging.
It is possible that the defence would have referred to her mental health problems as mitigating circumstances.
 
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I’m not talking about his behaviour then - I agree there’s lots we don’t know and I’m not saying CF is a saint at all. I’m referring to his actions since she’s passed away - seems crass to me to put it all ‘out there’.
I don’t know... it came across to me very worrying
if I was a friend I’d be watching him extremely closely
 
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Paloma Faith recently posted a lengthy Instagram post in which she shames the media and trolls and says she think Caroline might have had an undiagnosed illness behind the scenes.

i’m assuming bipolar or a long term battle with depression.
 
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soooo many of these mates, who I’m sure are upset, are just horrific! That personal trainer posted about Caroline stating she looked great “for her age”, how they talked a lot about her problems, how she pushed through her sessions, followed by links to his book and stating he is taking on new clients 🤬🤬🤦‍♀️ Others have posted one very seemingly heartfelt post about her and are then putting up outfit pics or their night out stories on social media. It is so wrong. Wouldn’t you just not use it for this purposes for a while if you were so close? It’s clear she couldn’t cope with social media or the celebrity world yet you’re powering on despite losing your mate. Horrible fake place.
 
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I don’t know... it came across to me very worrying
if I was a friend I’d be watching him extremely closely
He's said don't worry about him and he has the love of his girlfriend and close friends around him.

I think he's feeling a lot of guilt and rightly so. He more or less admits he put out that stuff about the NDA as he wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him and I don't think he means hurt in the physical sense but emotionally.

His blog was rambling..one minute blaming Journalists, the next the press, her management, her PR, the public then back to blaming himself.
 
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Keith Lemon has posted that her friends are talking about setting up a Festival for her. He's designed a Tshirt with her image on and the #Be Kind.
 
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