Calling in sick

[orangelolly]

I wasn't sure if I should post this in "Off topic" or "Advice" Does anyone else hate calling in sick to work? My first ever job (I worked there for 10 years) the two managers were absolutely vile about anyone that called in sick. They'd try to force people to come in, they'd slate you to other people and they would make you call mid afternoon to say if you'd be back the following day. I no longer work there but feel like this has had an impact on me. I always feel like my managers won't believe me, that they'll think I'm faking it etc. I'm currently off sick but instead of resting I'm worrying about what they're thinking. I very rarely call in sick, often going in when I probably should have called in sick.
Just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way? Any tips for changing my mindset? They've never said anything to me to make me think they don't believe me but I just keep thinking that I don't know what they're saying in their office.

 

[TaylorSlattery]

I got signed off work after I had a mental breakdown. I was asked by my employers to go to the doctors to get signed off as I was coming to work an absolute mess every day due to depression and anxiety. I was on a monthly sick note from the doctors which I posted in to HR. I was extremely unwell and checked in with my manager sporadically when she would just say she was thinking of me and said to just ask if I needed anything. A few months into my sick leave I got a new manager, I was gutted. This new manager rang me every Monday to “check in”. She would ring every week and ask if my depression had gone and if I had stopped being anxious. I bit my tongue and would just say no and wait for her to end the call. Some weeks I wouldn’t answer my phone as clearly stated in my sick note I was off work ill. She text me saying if I didn’t answer every week she would discipline me. I tried to return to work as she was pressuring me to and threatening to have me sacked. I was there a couple of weeks and had had to leave or not made it in as I was still very unwell. She pulled me into a glass see through office that the whole floor could see into. Shouting at me it wasn’t acceptable and I should be better by now. I got signed off straight away again that day. I ended up getting paid out of my job by the company. Another time that manager also said Glandular Fever wasn’t real so shouldn’t be off work. I was just unhealthy and should drink more water. She once left her computer unlocked with an email open (I sat next to her) The email was all just her slagging me off, about all sorts. Not just being ill. I’ve never worked since. The anxiety of having to deal with managers makes me feel sick.

 

[bellinibobble]

I think anyone who has worked in retail or hospitality can relate! I found it hard to adjust to working in an office and thought it was daft when people would have time off sick for colds/coughs when in my previous role I’d have dragged myself into shifts half dead, but then I realised that wasn’t right! I hope one of the few positives of Covid should be that people don’t worry about being judged for calling in sick (and not spreading germs around the office!) as much anymore.

 

[EyeSpy88]

When working in retail I found out on my break my grandad had died, my manager just said ‘awww you will be able to grieve properly once you have finished tonight’
Expected me to carry on serving on tills for a few more hours!

 

[WilmaHun]

The amount of stories here of people who work in public facing roles who are being told they still need to come in when clearly ill with sickness or diarrhoea is terrible! Not only is it not fair on you, or your colleagues, it's not fair on the members of public who you're being forced to face! I can't believe how harsh some managers are!

 

[Allthehashtags]

I used to work in retail, I’d been feeling quite unwell but kept dragging myself into work. One particular day I went in to do a 9-6 shift really not feeling myself & asked if I could go home as I felt dreadful. This was about 11.30am, my manager said I couldn’t leave any earlier than 5pm. Later that night I was in A&E and spent 10 days in intensive care with sepsis from a kidney infection.
I continued to work their for another 5 years but I never forgot the way management made me feel that day.

 

[under the ivy]

I fractured my wrist on my way to work once (slipped on ice walking to the bus stop) and I knew I’d have to have it x-rayed. I rang my manager once I knew she’d be in the office, explained by saying I may not make it in today (I worked for the NHS in admin) and she was like ‘well can you update me afterwards?’ so of course I said yes. Anyway, I go to A&E and I’m waiting for my x-Ray and my manager turns up looking for me!!! Really couldn’t believe it. The lack of trust was astounding.

 

[orangelolly]

Hmm , I wouldn’t worry. I’ve found a lot of employers don’t care about employees. like you’ve just said wanting you to come in when ill. If you were to get sacked or resign they would just replace you in an instant so don’t feel bad if you’re genuinely ill

We're constantly told at work "No one is irreplaceable"

 

[TaylorSlattery]

That's so awful and that woman should NEVER be allowed to manage anyone again. She's completely unfit for the job.

She was a vile horrible bully. I got paid out because of her negligence. I was asked not to take them to court. I think she still works there. Once she told me that she’d been looking on my Facebook and “couldn’t believe how fat I used to be.” I can’t understand how she’s still employed.

 

[Southern.fairy91]

I was a chef 15 years and (grossly) going to work properly ill is the norm. I was treated like shit for taking 2 days off with Norovirus, and at a different job I was sent home with excruciating pain in my kidneys which a trip to the hospital later I found out was because of a viral infection which could’ve caused all kinds of complications and I had my boss ringing me whilst I was still at hospital asking if I’d be in the next day.
It got to the point where now, the anxiety of having to call in sick is normally worse than what I’m ill from.

 

[TaylorSlattery]

I remember a manager telling me to always come in so they can see that you’re really sick and then they’ll send you home. If I’m really ill, how am I meant to be able to get myself to work to show you?! Not to mention I’m not sure how I’m meant to show you a migraine or period pains. I once had to tell a male manager that I was going to have to go home cause I had period pains. He asked me how bad is it? Speechless.

 

[MilkAndTwoSugars]

I always feel like my managers won't believe me, that they'll think I'm faking it etc.

Me tool! I'm paranoid about this. One night I was vomiting and was tempted to take a photo of the toilet bowl just to prove I was legit unwell but stopped myself as it was a ridiculous idea Xx

 

[WilmaHun]

The idea that you have to have an interview to return to work after having ONE measly day off is horrendous! I'm lucky in that we simply have to fill out a form which states the date we were off and a brief description of why (writing "felt sick" is fine). I can't imagine how demoralising having to sit and have an interview about your one day off must be!

 

[Pizzledizzle]

Im genuinely so so sad that so many have had such extreme & horrible experiences. Some managers/HR folk can’t possibly be human.

 

[Kandy floss]

Worked in KFC when I was 19 in uni. Called in sick on Halloween as I had food poisoning just for the manager to tell me I had to come in I refused and said I couldn't handle food due to throwing up so he asked me for a sick note. I again refused and said I didn't have to as I could self certify for 7 days. He promptly hung up the phone on me

 

[Babyyoda88]

my current boss is so good, last time I was sick she said don’t be coming in tomorrow if you’re still feeling like this.

the worst was when I worked in an office. I called in sick on the Monday and my manager kept calling me up asking when I was coming back in. I felt so unwell but now couldn’t relax. So I went back in the next day and he told me I “looked like shit” which I did because I had dragged myself in. So I went back home that same day as I couldn’t keep my head up. A couple days later on the Thursday he said I really should be back in because they were so busy and we need to have a meeting about it. So I spent the rest of the day feeling worse and really anxious.
When I went back in on the Friday he accused me of faking it (even after seeing me on the Tuesday and saying I looked like shit). I asked my other colleague had they been really busy and she said no.
Just hated working there and I’m so glad I’m no longer. Worst job ever.

 

[WilmaHun]

Also if you go in, you run the risk of infecting somebody else in the time that you’re there.

It’s terrible what some managers and companies will do to their staff though. At the end of the day, we’re all just numbers to them. Easily forgotten and easily replaced.

I think it's really important to step back sometimes and remind yourself of this. I know that I for one am guilty sometimes of going above and beyond, doing way more than I should or is required of my paygrade, thinking I'll get some sort of acknowledgement or thanks. It never happens. I always find myself being disappointed when it never happens, and sometimes, I've taken it personally. When in reality it's not, it's because you are just a number. Easily replaced.

Next time I don't feel well enough to work and I'm forcing myself out of bed because I don't want anyone to have a negative opinion of me, I'm definitely going to have a word with myself and remind myself of this.

 

[petra23]

I had a car accident back in October and took half a day off to go to the hospital where I was told I had whiplash and concussion from where my head hit the pillar, I went back to the office the next day and my boss told me how she had once gone into work with a broken leg and the younger generation (meaning me) don't know what a work ethic is. I then ended up testing positive for Covid about 5 days later. She allowed me one day sick even though I was horrendously ill. I was trying to answer customer calls at home and was struggling to breathe and vomitting meaning I had to hang up on them. After my 10 days isolation were up my partner was still really poorly with it and had active symptoms e.g. fever, cough so Public Health advised me to stay at home and isolate until he was 48 hours clear of fever. I let my boss know over the phone and she sent me an awful email and copied HR in basically saying I was refusing to return to the workplace and she just didn't know what to do with me... I offered to come back but if I gave everyone Coronavirus then that would be on her conscience not mine I have always hated phoning in sick as I feel like I am letting people down but I no longer care (at the workplace I am now) as they treat you like shite whether you're actually ill or not.

 

[TaylorSlattery]

I know @bellinibobble, you couldn’t make it up. What do you even say? Men’s incessant need to dismiss female’s pain and bodies.

When I was at school the teachers got into this thing where they wouldn’t let us go to the toilet during the lesson. I came on my period and discreetly asked to go to the toilet. The teacher tried to make an example of me and said so everyone could hear “Do not ask me to go to the toilet again.” I just stood up and said “well I’ve got blood pouring down my leg and it’s going to go all over the seat if I wait till break.” He never once said no again after that

 

[MilkAndTwoSugars]

I used to have the same with my old boss!

Was always told to call AFTER 9am (no texts allowed). The 9am rule came into play when some.of my colleagues would call in at 6am to leave a voicemail on the bosses phone, to avoid confrontation. Even if we did leave a voicemail, we always got a call back - she said it was "duty of care" but was a deterrent for next time as you have her to answer to.

One time I fell off my push bike cycling to work, I was bleeding, skin ripped to bits, bruising appearing, shaking and as white as a ghost, but my boss made me feel so guilty about sick leave that I stayed the whole day!

My new workplace allows texts to advise out managers. Much less confrontational and means we actually don't go in when we really shouldn't (i.e to avoid fear).

Thanks for the thread idea, this'll be an interesting one xx