Bryony farmer aka precious stars pads

[Prinnywoo]

She was not ready to foster a child. She thinks she is mature but she is still very self-absorbed. It shows in her constant focus on her own needs. It feels incredibly selfish and like she is doing it because she wants to play mum, rather than thinking about if she has the tools and life experience to be the best foster carer she can be.

I wonder how much she consulted her parents before becoming a foster carer, since she has placed such a huge burden on them by having them take “little one” at every possible opportunity and constantly be on call because she can’t parent and have a period at the same time.

She complained about how not being allowed to put out information on her foster child would negatively impact them in the future if they look back on her videos. I think looking back and seeing videos consistently describing how challenging you are and how much your foster carer needed to be away from you are far more damaging.

I also find it unsurprising to see she finally snapped and her gentle parenting went out the window. She should never have posted such a patronising, irritating, smug video on gentle parenting as someone who had been parenting a child for less than a month. She was still in the honeymoon phase and the video would have been far more impactful if she could have actually spoken about the challenges of gentle parenting and times she has slipped up.

 

[Justdishingthetea]

She was not ready to foster a child. She thinks she is mature but she is still very self-absorbed. It shows in her constant focus on her own needs. It feels incredibly selfish and like she is doing it because she wants to play mum, rather than thinking about if she has the tools and life experience to be the best foster carer she can be.

I wonder how much she consulted her parents before becoming a foster carer, since she has placed such a huge burden on them by having them take “little one” at every possible opportunity and constantly be on call because she can’t parent and have a period at the same time.

She complained about how not being allowed to put out information on her foster child would negatively impact them in the future if they look back on her videos. I think looking back and seeing videos consistently describing how challenging you are and how much your foster carer needed to be away from you are far more damaging.

I also find it unsurprising to see she finally snapped and her gentle parenting went out the window. She should never have posted such a patronising, irritating, smug video on gentle parenting as someone who had been parenting a child for less than a month. She was still in the honeymoon phase and the video would have been far more impactful if she could have actually spoken about the challenges of gentle parenting and times she has slipped up.

this was my exact thought haha karma she made this big thing about gentle parenting as you said and i remember seeing that and getting really upset i have an autistic 4 year old he is challenging but guess what you just have to grin and get on with it i have very lucky to have support but they are not on cal like she seems to have she knew about her period struggles before and i think she under estimated how hard it would be i remember when she had that refugee child there and she would make comments about how the mum parented him and how this and that and i remember think wow thats a really bitchy thing to do nd i hope the relevant authoritys see this vlog and i agree with previous comments shes never had a proper job where somone has said no you can not do this an i dont think she likes it after hearing her snap best thing she can do is give him back to another home because honestly what if she snaps again but worse next time and i will be gaining the right infomation to report her because at this point she needs to be closely watched

and about the money thing i dont believe she would not have been told by one person or another about getting extra help and what happened to all this research she did before clearly not that informed

shes such a text book parent things she can read a book or read this and that and know it all well its bitten her wel and truly now

 

[Fairy84]

She was not ready to foster a child. She thinks she is mature but she is still very self-absorbed. It shows in her constant focus on her own needs. It feels incredibly selfish and like she is doing it because she wants to play mum, rather than thinking about if she has the tools and life experience to be the best foster carer she can be.

I wonder how much she consulted her parents before becoming a foster carer, since she has placed such a huge burden on them by having them take “little one” at every possible opportunity and constantly be on call because she can’t parent and have a period at the same time.

She complained about how not being allowed to put out information on her foster child would negatively impact them in the future if they look back on her videos. I think looking back and seeing videos consistently describing how challenging you are and how much your foster carer needed to be away from you are far more damaging.

I also find it unsurprising to see she finally snapped and her gentle parenting went out the window. She should never have posted such a patronising, irritating, smug video on gentle parenting as someone who had been parenting a child for less than a month. She was still in the honeymoon phase and the video would have been far more impactful if she could have actually spoken about the challenges of gentle parenting and times she has slipped up.

Yes this is all so very true
Agree 100%

 

[MsWitch94]

I felt the crying was a little fake! She just seems rather..... odd to me

 

[Justdishingthetea]

I agree it felt a little forced

 

[wotdidijustwatch]

But vlogging her periods though? Talking us through the whole thing. On one vlog i remember she said she had her mum come pick her up and take her back to her house.

 

[Justdishingthetea]

yeah i remember that remember years ago too when she called an ambulance for several small thingd

 

[Prinnywoo]

I also remember in some vlogs she has literally shown her period blood in her knickers to “normalise periods”. There is no need. I am not squeamish about periods but people don’t go around showing the toilet after they’ve used it, bloody injuries or other bodily fluids. It’s just gross and unnecessary. She also seems to love describing herself passing wind and going the toilet when she has her period.

I think her vlogs do the opposite of normalising periods. She is so dramatic about it, takes an excessive amount of drugs, obsesses about it all month, makes no plans for when she starts. And then after all that consistently says it isn’t too bad this month. She is a hypochondriac, maybe she had painful periods in the past but they are clearly perfectly manageable now, she just doesn’t want to let go of another ailment she can fuss over.

If I was a young girl who hadn’t started her period yet, her vlogs would terrify me. I’d think it was a serious medical condition, not a normal bodily function that happens to 50% of the world every month. Sure you might feel a bit out of whack for the first day or two, but it really isn’t something to centre yourself whole month and life around.

 

[wotdidijustwatch]

Or on one video she was messing around using ovulation prediction kits

 

[Justdishingthetea]

yeah i agree

Or on one video she was messing around using ovulation prediction kits

yeah tht was odd why would you do that she is quite clearly a white privillaged girl her parents brought her a 2 bed flat. Cause she wanted to move out who does that ?

 

[Guacamole123]

Omg thank god there is a thread for her! She always comes up in my recommended for some bizarre reason and I end up watching her videos in sheer disbelief. I couldn’t get over her latest video where she is ranting over the system etc, surely if the local authority gets hold of that video she’s in big trouble? Seems to me like she’s gone in to fostering to look good, as it’s clearly not suiting her lifestyle. And the period obsession is weird to me, I understand that women should feel empowered and not be embarrassed by periods, but having a whole YouTube channel dedicated to your periods? And making videos about how clotty your periods are? Really? Does she really have nothing better to talk about?

 

[Prinnywoo]

She is just so odd, I remember in one video she had bought some pseudoscience machine where she put finger nail clippings into it and it spun them around and she claimed it was changing the DNA inside her body and curing her ME. I think her leaving school at 15 really shows through in her lack of critical thinking skills.

 

[Justdishingthetea]

Well yeah how many illness she had now ME fibro adnomisis endo so many to count i remember in her older period vlogs she would go to bed woth so many medication packets next to her she is obsessed with being ill

 

[Redpanda81]

Firstly, as a former foster child I think she is too young. Most foster parents really aren't given the trools they need to cope or the training.

She has done an incredible job building a career at 15. However she is young,sheltered, and has very indulgent parents.

I hate to pull the only child card but it is a true, they genuinely have no idea what it's like after growing up the sole focus of their parents attention, what dealing with people is like. Not in a public setting but the private nitty gritty of home. Where your siblings are mean,one of them is sick, another one is running around for school or other activities. There are a stream of friends coming through the yard while 1 or 2 parents coordinate the chaos.
Family life is the original microchasm of entropy. Unless you are an only child. Then, barring parental disputes, the world is your oyster.

To redress the foster child, I think she needed perspective and now she has it.

Younger kids, especially with reunification or management plans, are difficult to deal with because more often than not the welcome mat gets ripped out from under them trying to reunify a family. Personally, I think it is cruel and a bit useless to do so but that is my own bitterness at being continously failed and booted from house to house so I wouldn't get "attached ".

That in and of itself, is something I see in the little boy she had. It usually takes a week or a month for a child to get settled. Often kids don't get that chance if a higher priority case comes in.

What I applaud in Miss Farmer is the honesty. There is a shortage of foster parents and adoptive parents but not for the reasons most people think. Babies and little kids with relatively no social or behavioral issues get adopted almost eight away. The longer a kid is in foster care, in good and bad homes, the more compounded old issues and new insecurities become. Of the roughly 500,000 foster children processed per year, 4/5 of the eligible numbers of older children waiting for a "forever family" will never get one.
Bright eyed bushy tailed adoptive parents usually want a young child to mold as they see fit, not a grouchy hormonal traumatized academically challenged kid.

A criticism of fostering and care that I have always maintained is the lack of community. For a child between 12-18 moving constantly gives little recourse to bonding or creating a stable friend group. One of the things most teenagers identify with looking back is that security of an in group. Now, amplify that in a 5 year old. They have very little reasoning skills to understand the reason they are being moved. Even if you explain it to them, they view their friends and their previous environment regardless of the abuse and neglectful, as something that was stable.

Bryonee and a lot of parents going in to foster care go into it thinking the kids are misunderstood and that they're being saved. Understand that the child may not view it that way. Or that growing up in an environment where they were self sufficient means they neither want nor need that specific form of molly coddling. Yes, they need stability and support. But all children need a measure of independence and control over their environment to feel safe and appreciated. At 4 her foster child,as he is a singleton, can help make a snack or get food for himself. Again it is a shock to the system, but there are some deeply ingrained habits in foster kids that means leaving them alone or removing that control leads to further problems. Her foster son likely needed a day if not more, just to warm up to the flat.

It's not just her. It is one of the other facets which training courses don't teach. The commitment. About 30 to 40 extra hours a week for therapy,childcare issues, play time, schooling etc. The foster care system was established with a stay at home parent in mind. If Miss Farmer is running a business on top of all this it's no wonder she wants "alone time ". Although it's not good for the child, she is doing it alone. Her parents have to help or her license could get revoked. Again mosr of it comes down to naivete.

The state only provides for food and clothing. Any extra enrichment or vacations, are the responsibility of the carer. More often than not, foster kids don't get the 1 on 1 time they need or depending on their case, a chance to travel. Moving with a bag of "things" does not provide time to develop a skill, like music,dance,sport,ect. A foster child only does these things once in a bluemoon. Usually, an after school program that ends fairly quick. Neither children nor parents have autonomy over wether they stay but they are certainly told to leave.

Some of Miss Farmer's problems are personal but most stem from her detachment from reality. A reality no amount of training courses, courts, case workers, and state officials care to tell.

 

[wotdidijustwatch]

Omg thank god there is a thread for her! She always comes up in my recommended for some bizarre reason and I end up watching her videos in sheer disbelief. I couldn’t get over her latest video where she is ranting over the system etc, surely if the local authority gets hold of that video she’s in big trouble? Seems to me like she’s gone in to fostering to look good, as it’s clearly not suiting her lifestyle. And the period obsession is weird to me, I understand that women should feel empowered and not be embarrassed by periods, but having a whole YouTube channel dedicated to your periods? And making videos about how clotty your periods are? Really? Does she really have nothing better to talk about?

A member of my family did fostering for several years and deleted all of her social media. She was also very cutious we did't include her foster children on photos when we had family gatherings as one slip up could have meant the children were removed from her care. So it kind of made me think why was she mentioning all the things about the LA and giving stuff away about the kind of child she was looking after.

 

[Justdishingthetea]

A member of my family did fostering for several years and deleted all of her social media. She was also very cutious we did't include her foster children on photos when we had family gatherings as one slip up could have meant the children were removed from her care. So it kind of made me think why was she mentioning all the things about the LA and giving stuff away about the kind of child she was looking after.

I know she said she was told one thing then it changed what she was allowed to post

 

[Guacamole123]

A member of my family did fostering for several years and deleted all of her social media. She was also very cutious we did't include her foster children on photos when we had family gatherings as one slip up could have meant the children were removed from her care. So it kind of made me think why was she mentioning all the things about the LA and giving stuff away about the kind of child she was looking after.

Exactly! Although it would almost be impossible for us identify the child from watching her videos, someone out there could know a challenging child in the local authority she fosters from and easily track them down. This screams like a massive safeguarding risk to me! Does anyone even know how successful her business is? I’d be curious to know if she actually makes much of a profit.

 

[Justdishingthetea]

Exactly! Although it would almost be impossible for us identify the child from watching her videos, someone out there could know a challenging child in the local authority she fosters from and easily track them down. This screams like a massive safeguarding risk to me! Does anyone even know how successful her business is? I’d be curious to know if she actually makes much of a profit.

I cant imagine a lot and i know she has her own place but she has admitted her parents help her out shes a enetilted spoilt daddys girl

 

[Prinnywoo]

She did a budget video a while ago when she first moved her flat and her mortgage alone is £1000... I don’t know if she pays that all herself though.

 

[Justdishingthetea]

She cant b earning that much through youtube or her business