Recap:
I know, I know; you probably think I have issues with the amount I write
If Boris ever gives me my life back I might not have time for these epic novel recaps but it keeps me entertained for now! If you can’t be arsed to read it, just assume Babs is still an extremely annoying twat doing anything for engagement and you’ll be pretty much caught up
After the morning shit show of over sharing with Erin’s op and recovery and declaring that she’s all sunshine and rainbows these days
, the rest of Thursday was fairly quiet by the usual standards of Kweeen Babs.
Crisp poll, a story about how she’s going to charge for the Zoom but give the money to charity. Pretty shocked she knows what charity is to be fair, but find it most annoying that she’s now going to expect to be fawned over for being such a hero when she in fact does sweet FA for others
Even more crisp chat then a massive delivery of American sweets and treats she ordered online to make up for the fact they’ve cancelled their holiday this year. The kids “screamed”, because don’t they always?? More sugar. More unhealthy treats.
A post telling us Bridgerton will have a 2nd series, Babs before 6pm in her dressing gown all excited about a Housewives reunion she could watch and a poll to guess her favourite housewife. Not sure where the “no one gives a fuck” option was. Then Lucy all tired out cos they went on a mammoth walk, including a hill, which I find hard to believe since Lucy is old and poorly and Babs is lazy and unfit! Lucy gets cuter with age, as does Babs apparently, as she tried to prove with a greasy faced close up selfie that showed all her chins and no neck. I mean, gross.
Friday morning began with yawning stories from the kitchen, leg on counter, using “bogle bogle bogle” which is inappropriate considering it was used with racist undertones on a tv prog a few years ago. She had a really boring spiel about a dream, then had a strange photo of a mug in front of the tv. Strange because;
1.She claimed this was only the third time in a decade she’d had a quiet cuppa in front of the tv on her own. Seriously?!? The woman who regularly has a bath at 4pm, who is in a dressing gown a large proportion of the time, who watches her laptop in bed at 6pm, who often takes photos of her family playing in a different room to her and who last night was super excited at a new reunion because she’s literally run out of tv to watch is claiming she never has any time alone?? Wow. Just wow.
2.Even tho she used her “Boss” mug, she is currently not bossing it. Now, if I recall, yesterday she was happy and positive. Feeling good. If I can remember she said that, then surely Babs can too?? Just massively contradicting herself like the bellend that she is!
She mentioned Cafe Nero for the second time in a couple of days, must be on the beg for an AD, and did a casual “lewk” for OOTD
. Not sure when she will realise that her adult followers don’t need to be told how to put together an outfit of leggings and a jumper
A very pale Babs with mustard yellow hair the same colour as her mustard cardigan
told us she’s having her Zoom event on Valentine’s Day, it will be a quiz written and hosted by SOMEONE else
She’s not even doing any werk for it! And you won’t be able to chat to her or others, just answer quiz questions. It’s 6-8pm; prime dinner, bath and bed time hours for all the parents who follow Babs
Doesn’t seem to matter mind, it sold out in a few hours. So another ego boost for Kweeeeen Babs!
Also had a grid post and stories of yet another really crap AD, this time for a Wall’s microwave slice. That they would never eat because it’s, you know, flavoured. Babs clearly believed she made a lot of effort “cooking” IE microwaving it, putting it on a plate, opening a bag of lettuce and slicing up a few bits of cucumber. The food looked awful, Babs and PUS looked awful, they had half smart dress and half pyjamas to be fun, quirky, relatable people WFH. They barely took a bite of the product and could not have sounded more insincere with their “yeah it’s nice, lovely” reviews. I have NO idea how these shitty ADs get approved or how she makes money from them.
She has someone pretending to be her on FB (hopefully taking the piss
), she’s happy home school is done for the week and she was waiting for Boris - even tho she doesn’t watch the news.
The evening finished with horrendous stories of her prancing around outside in the snow, wearing her manky pyjamas. Then a grid post about it, saying she feels “gross” because she wears lounge wear all the time, no bra, no pants, her husband cuts her hair, she can’t stop eating sweets etc etc etc. But hey, it’s ok. Her body is a “vessel” and it’s doing what it needs, staying at home where she’s safe. So dancing in the snow seemed like the best way to celebrate being gross.
OKaaaaaaay
If you feel gross, have a shower (not a bath bomb that feels slimy!), wash your hair, drink some water, eat some fruit, do a workout, get off social media, read a book maybe! Don’t go out in the snow, in pyjamas, and then tell the world it’s fine if they’re massively unhealthy. Twat.
Not to mention that this is the THIRD time we’ve been in lockdown. I know it feels harder this time, the COVID numbers are horrendous and scary, the weather is crap and it’s dark and it feels endless, but she’s acting like it’s just dawned on her that life is shit at the moment. She made a bloody collage - oh sorry, PUS made a collage (yeah, course he did!) - of their amazing time in lockdown one. Bragging about how brilliant it all was. This time she seems to have caught up to the real world and now feels how most of us have felt for ages! (Not to say we didn’t all have nice moments in lockdown with our families, hobbies, new skills etc. And the weather was lush! But most of us also had jobs to do, home school, furlough worries, people we missed, grief etc. So you know, not living our best lives)
And again, this comes the day after she claimed everything is happy and positive now.
Saturday began in the kitchen with the same manky pyjamas that went out in the snow last night. Her captions were particularly poor this morning, maybe the hangover makes it hard to string a sentence together?!? I mean, she literally writes shit like “I sing a crap song about the weekend and pull my pyjamas up so my bum isn’t out” and how her and the kiddos have a lovely “meaning” on a Saturday, and “I like cleaning the house. So I do that.” Give me strength. How is this her job when she is so shit at it??? And how does she think she is so original and quirky and special? The majority of adults who work - which she doesn’t even do - clean and do washing on their days off - which she also probably doesn’t even do. It’s not at all special, it’s just life!
A candle, diffuser (the smell of that house
Sweaty Babs, greasy food being cooked, kids, an old dog, plants etc and then trying to cover it all with a mixture of candles and wax melts and diffusers. Gives me a headache thinking about it) and a mug make her happy. She got Pop Tarts, I guess on her American treat haul, even tho they sell them here and have for years! Apparently they always beg her for them but didn’t like them. Wow. Riveting stuff.
Pleather leggings and the white jumper (I mean, I don’t want to be a bitch, but she’s genuinely rotating about four items of clothing at the moment. Get yourself a clothes order Babs, size up, treat yo’self!) with thermal socks for a walk in the snow. Altho she later put a photo of her on the walk in denim jeggings, so an outfit change or bad pre-record
And she has worn through the jeggings after 3 years (I guess they really last if you spend 88% of your time in pyjamas) so there was a great big grid post about them.
A pic of Lucy out of the bath, the football scores on tv reminding her of her youth - oh goody - yet another trip down memory lane, and proudly showing off pyjamas and blanket at 4:33pm. I mean, I have NO judgment if busy mums want to be chilled in pyjamas on the weekend (or during the week!). Genuinely doesn’t matter to me what people are wearing in their own home, and pyjamas are comfy! But Babs is just such a slob these days. She’s not busy. Ever. Just constantly on her arse, being waited on, having PUS or the cleaner do everything while she makes the kids watch her crappy tv and refuses to watch their choice of cartoons. While she eats crap and drinks booze. Horrible.
Bed by 8 because of “Villa on the telly”. Or because she’s been drinking since early afternoon. You decide!
Sunday began with Babs in bed, organising miniature moisturisers in case they’re ever allowed on holiday again. Sums her up really, a basket full of things she might one day need, but probably won’t, but needs to shop so must buy them
She’s aggressively defensive about liking to clean and organise, which basically suggests she’s lying because A LOT of people like to clean and organise, it’s not anything special, so the fact she goes on and on and on about it like it’s a completely crazy habit just makes me think she doesn’t actually do it. If I were her I’d be more defensive about not having gravy on a roast, that is some weird and crazy shit, as far as I’m concerned it is much higher level than enjoying organising a drawer!
Some plans to go for a walk (
we’re all doing it every day, doesn’t mean we all need to talk about it every day), clean, and pay the kids to do chores as they want to make money. She was supposed to clean yesterday but I guess with the walk, the sorting of two storage boxes (does anyone need 5/6 christening gift bags?? Another case of the woman who can’t stop buying tat!) and being under a blanket by 4:30 she just ran out of time
New vlog which basically allows us KeBabettes another round of our favourite game: How many lies will Babs spout today? £200 worth of American sweets, that she ate before the kids!, but charity event for food bank. Wow, show off all the EXTRA and needless food you can afford in one breath, then talk about people struggling for basic meals in the next. Twat
More cleaning chat, clearly she’s decided this is the Insta bandwagon to jump on, showing off they eat mango (Hi Babs
) and expecting poor Lucy to perform for the camera. An awful confession that Ethan didn’t do his school cooking because she “didn’t have the time to get ingredients” (I have so much I could say about that but you’re on this thread, you know how lazy and spoilt she is
) and the threat of a podcast about her TV watching loomed in the air, genuinely worried about that one
A very odd story about how she’d marry her windows if she could
Another case of “oh we’re so happy in our new house, not a mistake at all, we love it, we’re so happy.....” No one’s buying it Babs! Some pics of the kids cleaning and a poll to guess which cleaning chore she most hates - not that she’ll ever tell us the answer. And then snow, kids playing and PUS sledging, which we’re all supposed to think is cute and endearing. But since he’s not our husband and we don’t know him, we don’t really give a toss! Back in by 4, hot cocks
- with vegan marshmallows for the boy to prove he’s still vegetarian - Hi Babs
- and for her to watch more of someone from the Hills watching The Hills, cos that’s obvs a Sunday afternoon priority for a mum of two
Again, I’m not judging mums in general for having some me time. If you’ve put a few hours in playing in the snow, drying clothes, making hot chocolates etc and you want a break, fair play. Get those kids on iPads and get your feet up! It’s just Babs who winds me up, with her CONSTANT me time. Just showing off all the time what a crappy parent she really is, all while claiming to be amazing at it or pretending she’s so busy and important. Would there be all these threads on you if you were great at your job, being a mum, running a business and/or a house?? No. No there would not. There also wouldn’t be any threads if you didn’t prioritise money and attention over your family life Babs, just FYI.
Just before 7pm she was back in pyjamas, chattering on about how lovely the snow was and about to dive in to a new program her friends had told her about. And by friends, she means people on a podcast. Who she doesn’t know in real life. Because she can’t see anyone. Not sure if you’re aware but poor Babs has been told BY BORIS HIMSELF not to socialise. She’s not seeing anyone. No one. Has no one to see. Just so you all know, she has no one to see. Ok? No one. Luckily the program is good and has a young man she can fawn over so you know, winning!
Then the night finished with what I would say is one of the strangest things I’ve seen from Babs. She went for a drive down memory lane again with a little story about how when she was pregnant she craved rubber, and chewed on elastic bands, so she took a photo of herself sniffing a welly. WTF? It has nothing to do with pregnancy cravings when your kids are 10 and 8 FFS. It’s just you liking a smell. Bloody weirdo.
Monday started leaning on the kitchen counter (def overtaken the pit of doom - Hi Babs
) moaning about the dog for trying to escape (who can blame her??) and some incoherent chat about home school. We think she was trying to say that local schools are closed to key worker children because of the weather but as always it’s hard to know because she’s possibly hungover/not very bright/not very good at her job - or most likely all 3!
She’s tired and then confirmed with a screenshot from her period app that she’s due on, which means she can be moody. Because women obviously have no feelings any other times, we only feel when it’s hormonal
I don’t think we need to know when she’s due on, but I guess with the odd pregnancy craving reference last night she wanted to confirm to us all that she wasn’t making an announcement - Hi Babs
A jogging bottoms and jumper outfit (revolutionary) and a Disney smell, plus they’re watching videos of sunrises at “home”, which she had to explain is what she calls Disneyworld because she’s “a nerd”. If you feel that way you don’t tend to explain or feel shame about it, you just declare it! Twat.
Money in maths, so at last something she understands, Lucy sniffing at a corner where they think they might have a mouse and a pitiful dribble of tomato soup for lunch.
She got a box from Poundland delivered so we will now be treated to a haul
Fuck off Babs, people are struggling and don’t want to see your shit Valentine’s tat. Try crafts people can do with their kids, Valentine’s baking, slow cooker recipes for a nice meal at home......USEFUL content. She honestly gives me rage with this crap, esp as she declared a week ago that her vlogs would all be homey content now. Couldn’t keep the tat buying habit under control for even a couple of weeks. Shameful. Not to mention that she couldn’t make the effort to get Ethan’s things he needed for school, because she can’t vlog or AD that or make any money from it. But she’s got time for Valentine’s hot chocolates and pancake day shit, a month in advance. Awful. Just awful.
A selfie on a walk - hold the front page, she is making history with her crazy days
We had a photo of a snowman they’d made, which she said reminded her of a tv character that she herself has been compared to ON THESE THREADS -
Hi Babs
A grid post of her sledging with some incoherent spiel about how she hopes her kids remember the fun times rather than the shouty times. Well every single little thing you ever do is documented on the interweb so they will never forget anything! (And probably will never forgive you either)
She squeezed a couple of stories for an AD for Amazon fresh in, trying to make it seem like she’s not doing an AD
I’m pretty sure she’s now just taking the piss showing off how much she can afford to shop, how lazy they are, the crap that they buy and how easily she can get paid for putting out shitty adverts.
Then it was goodnight world just after 7pm as post 40 PMS is the WORST. Yep, nothing as bad as poor Babs having PMT going on in the world at the moment
Then Tuesday. Ohhhhh Tuesday
How to even recap this classic ‘Babs is a total twat’ day?!?
We started with the golden child and Mickey Mouse, a memory to stop her doom scrolling (here we go again
), then four talky stories from the pit (Hi Babs
) about her terrible PMS and how it causes anxiety dreams. The pandemic has made her PMS worse apparently, and whereas she’s normally super positive (and clearly super deluded!) she’s sad and angry now. A lot of her followers shared some PMS stories and they made her cry laughing - even ones about self harm
- and so she made it a grid story because clearly she saw some pound signs and realised it would get those engagement numbers up.
If she actually had problems with anxiety or PMS I’d have nothing against hearing it, but it’s all so fake with her. She doesn’t understand what some people go through with bloody awful conditions, and she’s slobbing about in her pyjamas all day making a massive fuss cos she’s got a few cramps and a mood on. Doctors, teachers, cleaners, supermarket staff, police, bus drivers, mums.....basically any woman with a real job out in the world or on Teams meetings or who doesn’t have a PUS.....can’t just have a day in bed once a month. She’s so bloody selfish and entitled. Makes you sick.
Lunchtime was a Greggs delivery
because you know, she needs that on a day like this. I refer back to the Amazon AD yesterday and how she’s taking the piss showing off their affluent, lazy, unhealthy life. And here she is with another example
She was in bed while the kids ate their lunch with a notebook that seemed to hint at the stationery range she’s launching. Help me contain my excitement, I’m rabid for overpriced Babs crap!
Then a lovely fairytale about her working in her bedroom and the golden child throwing a snowball in the window. I’m sure that genuinely happened and was not staged in any way at all for the gram! What we do know for sure is that Babs was still in her pyjamas that she wore to bed last night. Lovely.
A post about PMDD, which I hope to God Babs isn’t pretending she has because she really doesn’t!, followed by a little AD asking people to sign up to her newsletter so they can get first dibs on her mugs, meet ups and other crap merch! So yeah, as predicted, all the period chat has got her engagement up and she’s making the most of it promoting her shite. What a lowlife.
A little goodnight in fresh pyjamas claiming they ate a “cottage pie”, which you can bet your life was a microwave job because there is no hope in hell of her cooking fresh, and if she ever did we wouldn’t hear the end of it!, thanking everyone for their “input” *imagine her pulling her cute face with her hand under her chin*. Input. Into her content, engagement and money making schemes. Not their support and care and love. Lovely way with words she has!
She did pop up again with a mention in someone else’s story, because she can’t waste the chance to show off being recommended by someone, and a game changer of an iPhone photo tip.
Wednesday started before 7, back in the pit *sigh* with a t shirt on as she got hot in the night in her thick flannel pyjamas. Small thanks for yesterday but that’s all done now, her day in bed and lunch from Greggs cured her terrible PMS
so onto new and exciting things. A vlog and a poll! Gotta keep those engagement numbers up now she’s milked the Babettes for their period woes. The poll is chocolate bars but there’s genuinely no point voting since she NEVER shares the winner (favourite boyband? Favourite crisps? We don’t know! Babs we know you read here, pleeeeeease be better and actually do a little chatty story or a picture of the final poll result or something, it’s honestly just so frustrating!!)
She announced she would put on make up today to make herself feel more sprightly, we called her out on Tattle so by the time she shared her made up face she had changed her tune to “ready to film and teach” - Hi Babs
. She did a before and after of her face and both looked pretty awful, her skin is a brilliant advert for the effects of bad diet and too much alcohol! At least she influences us to all drink a pint of water
And the outfit
Clown school anyone?!?
AD on her grid (that’s three this week) for a book, using Ethan in the photo, making him look more like a toddler than an 8 year old. And cashing in on those PMS sufferers sharing their stories yesterday. Typical Babs - always a meltdown or loneliness or illness or sadness just before a vlog and an AD! We see you Conway con woman
I didn’t watch the vlog, some days I’m just not in the mood and I can’t bear them!, but by all accounts she showed off the “utility room” that is basically a cupboard, ignored her kids, unprofessionally messed up words but didn’t bother to go to the effort of re-recording and editing, and got out of breath walking around the tiny house. Professional as ever.
A little clip of her singing obnoxiously as Ethan tried to do his school work; she ignored his request to be quiet. Really going for that mum of the year award isn’t she?!?
A reel of her doing some TikTok dance she’s copied off younger prettier influencers, in a different outfit to the clown one she had on earlier. She’s made up and feeling pretty today. How quickly her mood changes, she’s more unpredictable than the lottery numbers
Someone commented “just because you can doesn’t mean you should” on her dancing, so that led to four stories (selfies, obvs) about how it’s her job, she gets negative comments every day, she gets affected my random ones that aren’t even that bad, apparently it makes you “feel awks and go vom and makes you want to crawl up your own bum hole” - there’s that amazing way with words she has again - it makes her think she should stop (you should Babs. You really should) but she won’t. Referencing how she’ll think about it in the shower - Hi Babs
So a pity party, comments from the Babettes blowing smoke up her arse, replies from her saying she feels funny about it but will be ok in a couple of hours. I can not express enough how annoying it is when she does this. Begs for attention, engagement, validation and compliments, just to shake it off and be absolutely fine the next day. And most likely will do an AD or mug launch off the back of it, she was taking photos of her mugs today so she needs her adoring customers just where she wants them!
A quick story about JoJo (the Dance Moms Youtuber) coming out, her kids didn’t see any fuss as they know they can love anyone. Cos Babs is so forward and woke and completely ok with the world in which we live.
No mention of Holocaust Memorial Day, the ex-RE teacher has no words of wisdom on that one. She also hasn’t reflected on the 100,000 death toll; I appreciate her idea that she’s here for laughs and giggles etc but we’re in a pandemic and she should be using her platform to encourage people to stay at home or have the vaccine, she could show people she’s volunteering so they follow her lead, she could offer details of support groups for grievers or lonely new mums. We’ve said so many times on here (and we know she reads it!) about things she could do, and she just never does anything better. So disappointing.
And so we begin a new thread, a week since the last one, with her up and dancing in the kitchen, showing she doesn’t actually care what people think of her and all the pity party crap is purely for numbers and sales. She even backed it up this morning with polls to see how people are feeling, because they must look good when she’s begging companies for werk or getting ready to sell her mugs4mugs. She is just proving herself to be totally disingenuous at every turn. Where will the shit show go now?!? Stay tuned xx
show. You are a disgrace Emma. Can't mention Children's Mental Health but the first to jump on anyone that dares to disagree with you. I have anxiety, the real diagnosed type, not the type you have to up your engagement figures. Funnily enough mine didn't disappear when Primark opened, probably as I wouldn't set foot in there if you paid me. I'm sorry you feel Tattle is a place of hatred, I prefer to think of it as a bunch of people intelligent enough to not believe the crap you spout.
