I really wish sometimes we could speak to each other. I think it would help so much. I feel that with ED particularly, they are so isolating, lots of people actually don’t understand how they limit your day-to-day life and can trigger other disorders like anxiety and depression that it would be so therapeutic to talk.
You are so considerate about others in terms of how to speak about other people’s bodies. I am permanently comparing (does everyone do this?). In terms of body shape, I hate mine- it isn’t even about the size at times it is about specific things that were still there at my smallest (and will never go). Then I think I am being self-obsessed with all the body-checking and hate myself even more for it.
When I look at other women, regardless of size or shape, my general opinion is that they look so fantastic and free in what they are wearing (although in reality, many of them probably are having similar battles in their heads). Why can they look so good?
The worst part of comparisons though, is if (as mentioned above, I get wind of a hint of a weight change with someone IRL or on SM). Then I get so preoccupied with looking for evidence of this in their pictures that I can spend hours online looking for minute details. I have never admitted this to anyone. There is so much I have done that I haven’t admitted. Yesterday I was terrified that the MFP value (it didn’t match the packet) for something I bought was wrong so I panicked and downloaded nutracheck in the supermarket.
You are so considerate about others in terms of how to speak about other people’s bodies. I am permanently comparing (does everyone do this?). In terms of body shape, I hate mine- it isn’t even about the size at times it is about specific things that were still there at my smallest (and will never go). Then I think I am being self-obsessed with all the body-checking and hate myself even more for it.
When I look at other women, regardless of size or shape, my general opinion is that they look so fantastic and free in what they are wearing (although in reality, many of them probably are having similar battles in their heads). Why can they look so good?
The worst part of comparisons though, is if (as mentioned above, I get wind of a hint of a weight change with someone IRL or on SM). Then I get so preoccupied with looking for evidence of this in their pictures that I can spend hours online looking for minute details. I have never admitted this to anyone. There is so much I have done that I haven’t admitted. Yesterday I was terrified that the MFP value (it didn’t match the packet) for something I bought was wrong so I panicked and downloaded nutracheck in the supermarket.
I am sorry that you are not in a good place at the moment. I saw a post on Instagram the other day that likened happiness to waves. Eventually another one will come along, eventually that feeling will come back, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. I hope you can talk when you feel you can and it isn’t too painful.
on me but when part of recovery is to enjoy food and not feel the need to earn it or restrict, it is so hard not to be challenged by these discussions. Does anyone else find this or am I being too sensitive?
Anyway, I don’t know if I ever get over the whole ED thing, but I try to distract myself as much as possible. Thank you so much for reaching out to me, a huge hug back to you 
You are so strong for living with an ED for so many years and still being there for your children and everyone else. I agree completely with your ideas (working on our brains not bodies), but, as you’ve said yourself, easier said then done…CBT helped me learn a lot about myself and I know where every single one of my issues (including ED) stems from, but this knowledge alone is not enough. For now I just try not to think about food much and focus on something else as much as possible.
You sound like an amazing person TBH x
I wasn’t even born yet when it first aired so I watched it years later. Great show that stands the test of time, 
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