Body Image - Do you struggle or are you very accepting?

[Rockin' Robin]

I'm going to sound like a right old misery here, but I have no body confidence at all. It really began with my surgical menopause back in 2016. I have piled on the weight since then, I now have a hernia as a result of the surgery and the massive weight increase. I don't feel feminine anymore, I have no libido. I could go on, but I think that is enough for now.
The one positive thing I am doing at the moment, is cycling - although I haven't rode my bike for a week. I quite enjoy cycling, so much better than travelling on buses (I don't drive).

 

[hnoz]

I generally feel okay in myself.
I like to make an effort, I don’t feel my best if I just throw something on or I’ve been eating rubbish.
If I plan my outfit the night before I feel much more put together for the day. I work in a creative industry so I hate feeling like I don’t look good/cool.
Overall I don’t feel too insecure about my body, but I do try to dress to emphasise my best bit and minimise my “worst”
I weirdly don’t hate my body and don’t dislike clothes shopping etc but I do feel uncomfortable baring a lot of skin. During the heatwave girls would sunbath in bikinis in the big park near me and for some reason I could just never do this! I don’t really understand where it comes from, I’m quite fit, not overweight, not a massively conservative dresser but being in a bikini off a beach just makes me cringe.

 

[Dancing Dave]

I'm at the lowest body confidence wise I've ever been. I was clearing out photos on my laptop yesterday and I found my "before" photos from winter 2018 when I started with my PT and I thought I was "big" then. I was 64 kg and very athletic looking. I cannot believe I was big then. I put on a lot of weight during this pandemic, lost my Dad and my job so comfort eating was huge. I started a new fitness plan this month and my current "before" photo is startling. I despise how I look now. I refuse to buy new clothes until I lose the weight. It doesn't suit my frame it literally weighs on my mind every day.

I am starting a new 12 week plan this week after finishing a 4 week plan. Sadly this week I absolutely binged out every day and did little to no exercise. I hope now I really get stuck into it.

 

[265]

Odd thing with me, I've been the same weight for years but in the past five years I seem to be getting fatter but the weight remains the same, I really don't get it. I'm 5Ft4 and I look like I'm six months pregnant. (I'm a man BTW and it's the way to describe what I look like) I hate the way I look but there really isn't much I can do about it. My main problem is that I don't eat at the same time every night. I get home at various hours so my evening meal can be between 8PM and 10PM, I don't eat much during the day but it's the time of when I eat.

I don't look that wonderful but I plod on, it's all I can do.

I feel absolutely disgusting. I want to lose weight but food is my only real comfort. My partner hasn’t touched me in 9 years and I feel it’s because I’ve put on weight. I bath in the dark and don’t even have a full length mirror in my house. Horrendous.
I still do my makeup and hair though. I feel like I’ll never have sex again which is sad as I’m not old really. It’s all a mess!

Forgive me for saying this but I would like to give you a hug.

 

[Readread]

I don't give a tit what other people think of me but I don't like the way I look. I'm trying very hard to lose weight and exercise more but it's not an easy or quick process.

 

[265]

I don't give a tit what other people think of me but I don't like the way I look. I'm trying very hard to lose weight and exercise more but it's not an easy or quick process.

Same here, I don't give a rats arse what people think of me either.

 

[Lulu Goss]

I was a really skinny teenager and used to hate my body because I had absolutely no boobs and looked like a boy! I had my boobs done and since then I’ve got older and a bit curvier but overall I’m quite happy with my body for now.

What I struggle with more is my face - I know that sounds ridiculous. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself and think I hate it when I get all ready to go out and then see pictures the next day and think oh my god that’s actually how I look... There are so many things I wish I could change that unfortunately I can’t and I feel like as I’m getting older (late 20s now) I think about it more!

 

[Sw4]

I don't like the way I look unless I'm super strict with food and exercise all the time. I have a very small petite frame with no boobs and no bum, slim arms and slim legs. Any weight I put on just goes to my stomach and face. This makes me look so out of proportion with no sexy curves and instead just a mum tum even though I'm not a mum. Clothes mostly look crap on me because smaller sizes are tight around my belly but fine elsewhere but larger sizes gape around my non existent boobs or are way too big jn the shouldes/legs.

Even when I got super slim for my wedding (in fact looking back I was so skinny I was on the verge of looking ill) my belly was still not flat. I envy people who may be a lot heavier or larger framed than me but can wear tight fitting dresses that show off their flat tum and curves elsewhere.

I feel so unsexy in bed as well.

 

[Babysnark]

Struggle here at the moment I spent most of my teenage/early 20s as a size 12-14. I'm tall though (5"10) but when I was 20, I thought I was massive cause all my friends were 8-10 and shorter.
Now I'm size 18-20, late 20s and wish I could go back to being a 14 I was a 16-18 before the pandemic started but I've drunk too much eaten too much and literally spent weeks where I couldn't leave the house due to massive mental health issues. I'm hoping to just slowly get back to normal now and grateful it's just one or two dress sizes (and a bit of a belly).

Overall I wasn't "happy" at a lower weight/size, but I also didn't really think about it as much either. I could wear most clothes and shop where I wanted. Now I have to specifically buy mainly curve ranges etc. and consider covering certain areas (hate my arms). This adds an extra struggle I think.

Also - massively relate to the PP who talked about big boobs affecting the situation as a size 14 I was a size 34G and its something that made me have to buy larger tops etc. When I was 18 there was a lot less #metoo type energy in society sadly and more acceptable objectification and harassment of women as well so I would have a lot of men, often older, staring at my boobs whenever I went anywhere so I always felt I had to cover up. Now my boobs are still massive but are a lesser overall concern as if anyone openly stared at my tits now I would straight out ask them what they were staring at...

 

[Dancing Dave]

I'm at the lowest body confidence wise I've ever been. I was clearing out photos on my laptop yesterday and I found my "before" photos from winter 2018 when I started with my PT and I thought I was "big" then. I was 64 kg and very athletic looking. I cannot believe I was big then. I put on a lot of weight during this pandemic, lost my Dad and my job so comfort eating was huge. I started a new fitness plan this month and my current "before" photo is startling. I despise how I look now. I refuse to buy new clothes until I lose the weight. It doesn't suit my frame it literally weighs on my mind every day.

I am starting a new 12 week plan this week after finishing a 4 week plan. Sadly this week I absolutely binged out every day and did little to no exercise. I hope now I really get stuck into it.

sorry to quote myself but I can't edit. That second line should say "I can't believe I THOUGHT I was big then".

 

[WilmaHun]

Not confident at all. I'm 25, so really I feel like this is the time where I should feel best about myself but I just don't. I always buy clothes one or two sizes bigger than I need, so that nobody can see my "lumpy" bits. Realistically I'm a size 10 but I buy 12-14.

I've got quite thick thighs which I struggle with. My stomach is also a big issue for me, I have IBS and am lactose intolerant so often find myself bloating, which isn't helpful on top of already feeling insecure about it! There's not one part of my body I would say I am confident about!

 

[Definitelyme]

I agree with above that I’m not fussed on what other people think, but I’m not happy myself.

I’m pregnant with my 4th, and already have put on a stone (I’m only 12 weeks) due to nibbling to keep sickness at bay.

After baby 3 I never lost the weight I wanted and went from size 10 to 12 (I’m 5ft 7) so even though I’m not huge, I’m not happy. I’m hoping after this baby I’ll be able to lose weight again. Problem is I hate exercise and love sweets

 

[Sweetpotato0965]

I don't like the way I look unless I'm super strict with food and exercise all the time. I have a very small petite frame with no boobs and no bum, slim arms and slim legs. Any weight I put on just goes to my stomach and face. This makes me look so out of proportion with no sexy curves and instead just a mum tum even though I'm not a mum. Clothes mostly look crap on me because smaller sizes are tight around my belly but fine elsewhere but larger sizes gape around my non existent boobs or are way too big jn the shouldes/legs.

Even when I got super slim for my wedding (in fact looking back I was so skinny I was on the verge of looking ill) my belly was still not flat. I envy people who may be a lot heavier or larger framed than me but can wear tight fitting dresses that show off their flat tum and curves elsewhere.

I feel so unsexy in bed as well.

This! I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m the same mid/late twenties and have been waiting to ‘fill out’ and it never happened.

I was going to the gym and doing weights which helped but since I moved back with family they aren’t keen on me going to the gym because of covid. It’s hit hard though. Hate being skinny and scrawny x

Hope you’re okay xx

 

[Wishing1990]

I’m pretty confident despite being over weight (not massively) and covered in stretch marks from having 2 children.
The one KEY thing I did a couple of years ago was to unfollow ALL influencers and clothing companies on social media. Within weeks I noticed a massive difference in the opinion I had of my body and appearance.

 

[Skiddidlydaddle]

I feel absolutely disgusting. I want to lose weight but food is my only real comfort. My partner hasn’t touched me in 9 years and I feel it’s because I’ve put on weight. I bath in the dark and don’t even have a full length mirror in my house. Horrendous.
I still do my makeup and hair though. I feel like I’ll never have sex again which is sad as I’m not old really. It’s all a mess!

Don't change you. Change your partner.

 

[Bellaboo83]

Don't change you. Change your partner.

I was wondering if maybe you should have a conversation with your husband about why the affection has left your relationship..

9 years is a long time to not have affection and passionate touch and to feel desired. I know some people don't need that side of things and that works for them but you sound like you miss that and the fact you mentioned it makes me think it's having an influence on your confidence

Maybe he hasn't touched you in 9 years because he has body image issues himself or maybe he doesn't come close to you because he feels like you don't want that... You've come to the assumption it's because of your weight.... But what if it isn't and you're putting all this pressure on yourself unnecessarily. You should be able to discuss things like this in a long term relationship so go find out what the issue is, tell him you need affection and to feel wanted and work on it with him.

If you were able to get back on track with a relationship where you both feel desired, fancied and wanted in that way then it might help your self image and give you some confidence back..

Believing the person you love doesn't want you in that way can do disastrous things for self confidence.... IF he doesn't fancy you any more (and it happens to everyone at some point, even those 100% body confident) believe me someone else will delight in making you feel like the most wanted, most beautiful woman in the world so go find that person...

But in the mean time focus on you, do something each day that makes you feel beautiful, read up on self care and self love and take small steps each day to increase your confidence. Don't put pressure on yourself to lose weight, if you want to then maybe change one meal a day to something healthier, or even one ingredient. Get a note pad and write down 3 great things about yourself at the end of each day whether that's your eye lashes looked long and lovely, you made someone smile or your skin smelt amazing from a product you used in the shower... It will help change your thought process to focus on the positives rather than the negatives

 

[rainbowlemon]

I've been everything from a size 12 to wearing 18-20 clothing. I think I might be back at a size 16 but haven't bought any new clothing for close to three years now.

With covid I know I have been comfort eating and I stopped going to the gym when we first started getting cases which hasn't helped. I'm not where I want to be, but I feel as I've grown older I'm just more okay of accepting where I am without all of the self hatred and name calling and It makes me sad thinking about how I've treated myself. I'm doing the best I can right now and that's what matters for me.

 

[svdwoodsen]

I've been mostly happy with my body but now that I'm around 30, it has become a lot easier to put on weight, especially around the mid-section and thigh area. I'm 5'7 and 50kg and I really struggle when I gain a few kgs, which invariably happens at times, because I can really see it in the mirror and a lot of my clothes start to fit poorly or not at all. I know that it's probably crazy to try and maintain my 18 year old weight/measurements forever but that's honestly how I feel. I don't restrict my eating in any way other than avoiding processed foods and trying to be healthy, but it does get harder and harder and means I'm exercising more now than I ever did.

Growing up, it was tough because while I didn't have weight issues, I was by far the shortest and biggest person in my age group in my extended family and I was a plain jane relative to my cousins. Two of my cousins are actual models (one commercial and one runway) and it's hard growing up with people who were so obviously gorgeous with all the right features. I was always called cute or pretty but I was never beautiful or stunning the way my cousins were. My runway model cousin would walk down the street and people couldn't help but glance over at her, men and women. She's also a lovely person but it was really eye-opening to see the way strangers would act around her, because she was beautiful and they really wanted her to like them. I have a really good relationship with them now and I've always been very happy for their success, but I definitely feel the occasional pang of envy.

 

[bubblebar1317]

I feel absolutely disgusting. I want to lose weight but food is my only real comfort. My partner hasn’t touched me in 9 years and I feel it’s because I’ve put on weight. I bath in the dark and don’t even have a full length mirror in my house. Horrendous.
I still do my makeup and hair though. I feel like I’ll never have sex again which is sad as I’m not old really. It’s all a mess!

Please talk to a professional I think it’ll help you immensely, food is an enormous comfort but also don’t let it become the enemy. You’re worth making yourself feel better.

 

[Ohflogoff]

I feel good. I am no supermodel, but I grew up with parents who were very body confident. Not “ooooh look at me” confident, not gym goers, but just confident. I have no issue with my bod.

I have no memories of my mum complaining about her weight, or talking about “treats” or “naughty food”. Both were, and still are, happy to wander about upstairs naked. (Imagine that as a teenager) . No treat cupboards, no secret eating, no “oh don’t eat that or you’ll be fat” comments. Nothing. No “does my bum look big in this?” Questions.
For me, I am 100% confident that my attitude to my bod comes from my upbringing.

My husband’s family are polar opposite. So many comments about “should you be eating that?” “Ooooh so and so has stacked on the weight”, “look at your big belly”. They’ve all struggled with their weight and all have a poor relationship with food.