Todays mail;
Subject : What I learned from my Plant Medicine Retreat.
I wanted to share a little about my experience on the Plant Medicine retreat.
I wanted to share a little about my experience on the Plant Medicine retreat.
I was nervous at first to share my experience as I honestly thought id get a lot of abuse but instead I actually got flooded with DMs from people saying they had been thinking about trying plant medicine as they were having similar struggles to me.
So here it goesā¦
The main reason for me going on the Plant medicine retreat was because of my Health status last year (which didnāt seem to improve all that much no matter what I tried). As you know, I struggled with energy hugely post Covid (and long Covid). I wasnāt getting the same enjoyment or fulfilment out of things (or life in general) and Iām narrowing everything down to a mix of Covid & burnout.
Anywaysā¦I wanted to take a complete break - from work, from social media, from training, and I wanted to see if plant medicine would help my health (both physical and mental).
The main plant we had each night was Ayahuasca. I wonāt go into the specifics of what itās made of but itās a natural plant found in the Amazon that has psychedelic and healing properties. The retreat holds ayahuasca āceremoniesā where there is music, you drink the ayahuasca, and you have a ātripā. Your trip is usually a journey into the subconscious (although anything can come to the forefront during your trip).
The first night was a lovely experience for me (both physically and mentally). Youāre in a safe environment and supported by āfacilitatorsā that can talk you through some deep intense experiences (if you need it). The ceremonies are around 8-10 hours and youāre lying down on a comfortable mat and you have pillows and blankets for extra comfort. I felt connected to the music and just generally had a lovely pleasant experience.
The second night was unexpected. I assumed because night 1 was so amazing, the second night would be too but I was very wrong. I got full body paralysis which was terrifying because I couldnāt open my mouth to ask for help. I wonāt go into full details but I will describe it as as close as an experience to death that you would get. This is actually one of the main purposes of ahyuasca - thereās a ādeathā and a ārebirthā phase over the course of the few days. I needed a few days to understand it all which is why Iām only writing the email now. I journaled every day - about how I felt, what I experienced, anything that came to me during the ceremonies. Each day you have an āintegrationā session which is basically like 1-1 therapy followed by a group session where you describe your experience from the night before and then the Shaman & Facilitators help put it into context for you and make suggestions (but they never force their āideasā of what they think it all means). They try to interpret and I would say they were spot on with everyoneās feedback.
The main takeaway was that I truly feel I can survive everything (since I managed to survive the second night). I felt extreme compassion for not everyone around me, but mainly myself.
The 3rd night we had San Pedro (also know as Peyote cactus) which is a heart opening and healing plant and it was a much different experience. It was a very warm and fuzzy experience and the connection to the music was something I canāt describe. It reminded me how much I needed to reconnect with music again and how wonderful it made me feel.
Itās really hard to relate to the experience if you havenāt gone through it yourself, which is why my story might sound a little boring but itās very hard to put into words. You tap into parts of your brain that are never exposed. You deep dive into the absolute depths of your subconscious. Some people see things from their pastā¦ I actually did not have anything about family, career, relationships, past etc come up at all. Most of my experiences was deeply physical (like the paralysis) and a deep emotional connection to both music and myself.
Every person has a very different experience but the main thing is the medicine shows each person what they need to see. Although night 2 was terrifying, I saw the benefits of going through something like that on the 3rd night when I got up to go outside and look at the stars. San Pedro is meant to be taken in nature - to have a profound appreciation for life & everything and everyone in it. Thatās my best description. I started streaming tears of gratitude thanking myself for taking this time out for myself. I had huge deep sympathy for myself for having the death experience on night 2 and then extreme gratitude that I felt so happy being out in the stars not only listening but āfeelingā the music. I was crying for people that donāt feel happiness (or never will) because they donāt know what it is. It was very emotional but in a good way.
I wanted to jot my experience down in a (lengthy) email just in case people wanted a little more insight into what I experienced as I know a lot of you were considering something similar.
What I would say is that is is extremely intense. I would consider myself very brave, resilient, emotionally strong, and very self aware.. and I still struggled and found it a challenge. Howeverā¦ it was an experience I would 100% do again.
You definitely need to think about it, ask questions, do some research before you make any decisions.
I found my retreat on the āRetreat Guruā website and you can filter the results by āplant medicineā. There are loads of other self love, self improvement, personal development and even yoga retreats on that website so you need to choose the one thatās right for you!
Bottom lineā¦ if you feel something isnāt ārightā - search deeper for some answers. Take a time out for yourself and donāt feel guilty for doing it. What would you say to a friend who felt they needed a little break? Youād tell them to take it...
I hope this has given you the insight you were looking for. Feel free to reach out if you're not ready to do something as intense as this but would like some 1-1 support with self-improvement or personal development coaching. Alternatively, you can take a look at some of my courses - I'd recommend the Mindset & Journaling course or Self-Care & Coping strategies.
Thank you for listening!
Speak soon,
Becca.