Oh no. Not another business venture. Pat still hasn’t sold all those wax melts leftover from that MLM that Sharon from Zumba convinced her to sign up for.
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That was after she convinced Dennis to chip in for the Cricut wasn’t it? There’s still a load of those Christmas glasses with a Disney style font on under the stairs. If you go round she always tells everyone “put your coat on a chair, don’t open under the stairs”, because one time Old Ev came round and was straight under there, only a load fell out and sliced her toe open where it was sticking out of her orthopaedic sandal. Dennis called her “sweeney pat” for about two weeks until she snapped and hit him with with a bag of frozen fish fillets right in the nose. There’s still a slight blood stain in the kitchen rug from that.
Always chasing the £££s she made in the 80's hosting Ann Summers parties 
She was making enough to take Dennis and the kids to Benidorm 3 times a year until that incident in The White Lion party with Big Pam, a Rampant Rabbit and the bar manager. Sandra, the area manager, had to let her go after that. She did knock up her own range of underwear but never made 1 sale for some reason
She was making enough to take Dennis and the kids to Benidorm 3 times a year until that incident in The White Lion party with Big Pam, a Rampant Rabbit and the bar manager. Sandra, the area manager, had to let her go after that. She did knock up her own range of underwear but never made 1 sale for some reason
Pat namechecked in the Kate/Wills controv, right outside Buck House, where Cannons Dave got his MBE.
Pat struggled with the wax melt business because she can't really smell anything, what with her sinus trouble and all.
When her kiddies were little, Pat worked as a dinner lady. She thought the job was OK until that Jamie Oliver came round to complain about nutrition and this and that. Here’s Pat on the first day that they had to try out his new menu.
However, she was spurred on to take that part time computer course and finally got her dream job as a GP receptionist.
However, she was spurred on to take that part time computer course and finally got her dream job as a GP receptionist.
Hold up, we have an Aunty Pat moonlighting incidence right here, name check in the first seven seconds of this real life documentary footage, filmed, I believe for cousin Cherneece's school project:
Aunty Pat's brought the buttes, hahaha!
Also dying at Cherneece. Great name.
Hold on, surely not Matalan infringing on our intellectual property rights?! Luckily I've got a team of lawyers on speed dial.
Aunty Pat's Easter cake, it made little Sharvaughan cry.
Pat heard someone on Great British Menu talking about chocolate soil and made her own, mixing cocoa powder with potting compost.
Pat had to cobble this together with stuff she found in the Co-Op at the last minute, as she’d completely forgotten she was going to make a cake for the family gathering. She was seriously hanging too, having gone round Sandra’s the night before for Easter cocktails. Sandra’s specialty is a mini egg martini, which is just a wine glass full of baileys with a mini egg on top.
Pat finds them incredibly classy and irresistible.
Which is why she fell in the door drunk at 1.45 am and decided to make one herself using what she had to hand.
A microwaved creme egg and prosecco gone flat served in an unwashed coffee mug was the closest she could manage. She only downed half it before projectile vomiting it all over the kitchen island and staggered off to bed leaving it for Dennis to find later.
The local FB chat is still swirling around this, word is, "the mug was a giant-sized one", but the only person who could know that is Big Pam, after the Sports Direct Secret Santa fall-out of 2009...
