As above, a thread for the fictional icon, Aunty Pat and her many, funny family members. Go bananas, like Pat did at that 18-30 holiday when she was actually 32.5!
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Thank you for setting this up @griftalo !
We have to acknowledge (what I think is) the Aunty Pat origin story from
@Valiofthedolls way back in March last year!
We have to acknowledge (what I think is) the Aunty Pat origin story from
@Valiofthedolls way back in March last year!
Amazing! Thanks for posting this so it all makes sense.Thank you for setting this up @griftalo !
We have to acknowledge (what I think is) the Aunty Pat origin story from
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Auntie Pat there wondering how it is that she always ends up cooking while on holiday.
Bloody Denis and his refusal to eat "Foreign muck".
Pat's never afraid to try local cuisine.
You'd be amazed how many countries have their own take on chicken and chips.
Bloody Denis and his refusal to eat "Foreign muck".
Pat's never afraid to try local cuisine.
You'd be amazed how many countries have their own take on chicken and chips.
Oh dear Gods, just as one of my new year resolutions was to cut down the amount of time I spend reading Tattle....! Thanks for setting this up 
Does she keep her sewing supplies in one of these?
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Long live Pat. I spotted quite a few in the crowd at the Rick Astley new year thing on BBC last night. A few token Alans too (Pat’s best friend since primary school who never met the right girl and is Uncle Alan to her kids).
Ooh you don’t wanna open one of those in racy aunty Sandra’s house! You never know what you might find, but it won’t be a sewing kit! Many’s the time that tin has taken off of its own accord across the bedside table.
Then again, being unattached means Alan has plenty of free time to holiday in Thailand. Always brings Auntie Pat back a souvenir too.
His workmates like to call him "Alan Partridge".
There's Aunty PatThank you for setting this up @griftalo !
We have to acknowledge (what I think is) the Aunty Pat origin story from
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Daughter Khrystelle just out of shot, sulking because Pat won't let her go on a date with Socrates the goatherd.
Apparently the latest is that Aunty Pat and Matt, you know, Matt who runs the pub kitchen down at the Cactus on Saturdays? well the two of them have had a big falling out, and are spreading rumours about each other.
But now it’s backfired, and everyone’s coming forward to say they never liked either of them! Can you believe it! Honestly! I’m not surprised either.
But now it’s backfired, and everyone’s coming forward to say they never liked either of them! Can you believe it! Honestly! I’m not surprised either.
Denis will be delighted.
He's never liked the Cactus.
"Full of ponces and yuppies" says Denis.
He prefers the Tudor Castle down by the market.
Sure, it's seen better days but, as flat-roofed dodgy pubs go, it's alright.
If you're lucky, Denis will regale you about the time he stared down "Mad" Vic Hopkins one evening and lived to tell the tale.
Of course, he was staring down Vic's glass eye, which is why Denis lived to tell the tale.
He's been careful never to tell this story in front of Pat or she'll never let him near the Tudor ever again.
One of the many secrets he keeps from her.
I heard a rumour that Mad Vic lost his eye when he and Kath were courting, he was looking through the little front door spy glass at Pat and Kath in their knickers and one of them shot him through the glass with a modified starter pistol.
He'll tell you it was in a fight with Charles Bronson though.
New Years drama last night! Deirdre and Cheryl were chatting down the Cactus and realised that Aunty Pat has re-gifted the Matthew Williamson at Debenhams diffuser that Cheryl got for her birthday to Deirdre on Christmas Eve! It was in the box but definitely didn’t smell like sage and vanilla. Alan smelled it and agreed but obviously he’s not going to drop Aunty Pat in it - he said maybe it was from another batch that he saw at TK’s in October. Deirdre did get a cat fridge magnet off Pat too but that was left over from her craft stall at St Marks last year.
Meanwhile, Jan saw Pat this morning and said Pat tried out a new sachet of Shaders (yellow frost).
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Meanwhile, Jan saw Pat this morning and said Pat tried out a new sachet of Shaders (yellow frost).
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Cheryl’s still pals with Matt, she lives for the BBQs on the patio in the summer when he gets his arms out and wears that pinny with the gladiator outfit on.
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After a morning of strenuous jazzercise, our Pat’s going for a coupla cheeky cocky T’s with the girly wirlies at the floating bar x
Pat swears it wasn't her.
We could ask Kath but, well, she's not been seen in quite a while. The last confirmed sighting was of her getting off a tourist bus in downtown Cancun back in 2003.
Pat misses the laughs with Kath but not her taste in dodgy fellahs.
Auntie Pat once went on a Tui package holiday with sparky Tina to Tunisia. You’ll never guess… Tina and Pat got chatted up by a pair of waiters 20 years their junior. Pat had a lucky escape because she got a dose of botulism from her Kamounia (it was an all you can eat buffet and had been sat out in the sun for 2 hours) - Tina ended up paying for Adel to fly back to England but he got depressed working in Bejams and went home again (not before emptying Tina’s Nationwide account.
Aunty Pat still can’t even look at a jar of Cumin.
Aunty Pat still can’t even look at a jar of Cumin.
New Year’s Day means its Bottomless Brunch at Slug&Lettuce with the girlies (and Alan). Pat will be sticking to the Aperol Spritzes and Prosecco though. Last time she got the Pornstar Martinis it wasn’t pretty. Dennis had to take the Nissan Juke for a valet.
Aunty Pat when she briefly worked at the bank, having put Toners and not Shaders on by mistake. Dennis said she looked like a used dish mop and that he really wasn’t keen. She said she thought it was all the mod to change your hair all the time, but she cried in the loo at work at lunchtime.
The whole town was up in arms when Dave the butcher shut up shop with no notice - everyone had paid in for their Christmas Box. Dave skipped town but Auntie Pat teased the info out of Dave's mum Reenie as to his whereabouts. Dennis drove to Chelmsford where he was hiding out and gave him what for. Turned out he'd spent it down the bookies. Everyone had to have frozen turkey and mandarin gravy that year.