Ashley James #40 #AD(HD)

[Marmite.Crumpets]

Hello everyone, welcome to another thread of Ashley James! Winning thread suggestion by @InTheDollsHouse with 60 reactions!

A lot has happened since the last thread. They finally celebrated Alf's birthday! He had a party and presents, and it was lovely to see! However, they still very much neglect him and his appearance.

She has been laying the foundations of neurodivergence for Alf, and herself (apparently ADHD, but I think she's just a twit). So Alf isn't heavily featured in her stories. She is in heavenly hell with Ada (make it make sense) as Ada is keeping her up all night, but it's ok because Ashley's body is her HoMe.

I'm sure @InTheDollsHouse will do a better recap than me - she always does! But, I guess the TL;DR is She's still a twit, she still hates men, she still gets her tits out but not for the male gaze.

 

[lalalalaletmecomplain]

After watching her rant this morning she reminded me SO much of my SIL. She gets so worked up and irate about random matters that don’t affect her in any way, she really feels the perceived unfairness and will get herself so outraged by it. She also has been (actually) diagnosed with ADHD, so maybe Ash is? I don’t know much about it tbh and whether or not this is an ADHD trait, but the similarity really struck me today

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

apparently ADHD, but I think she's just a twit

I think this sums it up perfectly!

 

[willowtree2]

Ash has been working so hard today, the poor lamb. All that sitting about and then driving a whole 15 minutes to her PT session. I hope she can get even more of a child-free sit down tonight for atleast 4 hours because she so desperately needs that chunk of her time

 

[Fuzzyslippers22]

I would love to be a trad wife, but mainly because I love pottering around the house, have lots of hobbies and would really love more time with my babies. Alas I'm the breadwinner and my partner does a lot of that typical role (pick ups, drop offs, dinner, bath, bed etc). But unlike Trash, I'm actually working a real job not playing dress up

 

[littlepup]

@InTheDollsHouse I’d not noticed her making any digs toward us tbf besides the Mummy lazing in bed while daddy is downstairs stuff but just her reality I guess.

If she’s trying to present a balanced argument she’s making a terrible job of it! It just doesn’t make sense to me unless you’re an angry, self important, un self aware, narrow sighted man hater.
She ignores all nuance. Most ‘traditional’ families I know/knew were certainly not so strictly following her impression of it. Staying at home and child rearing didn’t mean the women were submissive (I can think of more than one who refused to work) or the men had no interest but playing with the kids. She’s also ignoring why people might take these roles like access to and cost of childcare, gender pay gap, access to education and discrimination against women in the more historic cases, cost of living allowing it to be an option. It’s not always a choice. She contradicts herself.

It’s also belittling of a Man’s role in such circumstances. She’s ignoring that the man would have to go to work everyday, make all of the important decisions for his family, be responsible for and manage the finances, house maintainance, takes the physical and mental load of that. He’s begrudged his ‘me time’ when the rest of his time is spent working or taking care of household business. Most work doesn’t involve standing around in pants and a bra and trying on clothes like hers and she can’t even handle her own finances apparently.

 

[cahil]

Christ. where to even start?



So the trad wife phenomenon is on the rise, especially in the states. It is linked to increasing political polarisation, vaccine skepticism, Christian fundamentalism and the ability for women to stay at home while also having a social media platform and being able to make pocket money while doing it. Usually this is in the form of participating in MLMs. it is believed to be a response to increasing economic and political precarity particularly in the 'left behind' communities of the white lower middle class. It is also a function of wage stagnation meaning it is not 'worth it' for women to work outside the home due to the prohibitive cost of childcare and orher associated expenses. This way of life has received good PR from shiny mormon influencer accounts like Ballerina Farm and her perfect looking blond children on a huge ranch in Utah. (although her situation is the product of inherited wealth). The move towards homeschool/homesteading which is associated with these trad wife accounts is also a function of right wing exceptionalism, anxiety about 'end times', move away from perceived dependency on government, and associated conspiracy theories. In other words this is an observable reactionary movement which has resulted from many social conditions and is certainly not a backlash to feminism alone (although it may be a reactionary response to Me Too, in part.)



Of course, speaking intelligently about this would demand actual knowledge and being informed on the topic, which is being heavily investigated by social researchers. Ashley however seems to have taken it very personally. Why does it bother her so much that she feels the need to devote several incoherent stories about it while insisting that its absolutely fine for women to serve her husbands? Even worse, she has nothing incisive to say other than repeating her inane version of choice feminism which is honestly as intellectually moribund and trad wifeism. Clearly there is a deeper political issue at play here (the same issue that will likely get Trump reelected) but someone she makes it all about her pathetic brand of year 9 spice girl brand of feminism and manages to tit on men and their mental health in the process. She somehow goes from discussing trad wives to talking about femicide and all men are terrorists .. sorry what? if this was in an undegraduate student essay it wouldn't be getting an A. it would be failing for lack of research (the irony), overdrawn conclusions, failure to appreciate existing research on the subject, non sequitur, poor use of English language, failure to check provenance of sources and lack of imagination.

she is GENUINELY the stupidest woman on the internet. even more stupid than those trad wives she has such beef with

 

[screenfreelookatme]

After watching her rant this morning she reminded me SO much of my SIL. She gets so worked up and irate about random matters that don’t affect her in any way, she really feels the perceived unfairness and will get herself so outraged by it. She also has been (actually) diagnosed with ADHD, so maybe Ash is? I don’t know much about it tbh and whether or not this is an ADHD trait, but the similarity really struck me today

Strong sense of justice/perceived unfairness tends is actually an autism/ADHD thing. My unpopular opinion is that I would actually believe her if she said she was autistic

I do think in her instance, she knows outrage generates comments and clicks and she’s just desperately looking for engagement. She also wants to appear smarter than she is and appear as some Feminist Hero, but always misses the nuance in conversations, so ends up making herself look dumber.
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Christ. where to even start?

I don’t want to quote your whole comment, but you have 100% hit the nail on the head here.
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Adding that most (all) of the ND female creators I follow with even a passing interest in feminism or politics are all still hyperfocused on Gaza…not Barbie or some random conservative white women in the US. I don’t find Ash or her rants authentic at all.

 

[ToolaRoola]

@cahil thank you for the context! This is the kind of thing Ash wishes she could pull together but can't even begin.

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Well, I’ve had a taste of being a ‘trad wife’ recently, having lost my job just before Christmas. Let me just say if we didn’t have to worry about money it would be pretty good, but unfortunately we do, big time, and my income is now selling vintage Topshop on eBay in sizes I can only dream of getting into again if I contracted dysentery. I like cooking so that’s fine but scouring Lidl for abused discount chickens and wonky veg does rather take the shine off. I thought I wouldn’t mind keeping on top of general housework but you really do notice all the shite that you really should tackle but just don’t. Why do I have a drawer that is overflowing with string and old batteries and I KNOW there’s a family of harvest spiders in the shoe rack and I’ve not evicted them.
Anyway that’s my tuppence worth. I will say for my son it’s like a dream come true that I have time to draw cat pictures on cardboard boxes or make cornflakes cakes.

But with money and a supportive partner I can 100% see how it would be an attractive option! She’s so black and white, I swear she’s neurologically challenged.

 

[cahil]

@cahil thank you for the context! This is the kind of thing Ash wishes she could pull together but can't even begin.

my decades long obsession with christian fundamentalism coming into its own haha. slightly annoyed i took the bait. not to toot my own horn but im an academic and i specialise in feminist political and legal theory so she got me on the intersection of my 'special subjects' as it were...

the point to make is that trad wife ism is part of a wider political ideology and that these accounts are a form of cultural propaganda. the reason its working is BECAUSE (as others have said) life for women (and men) has not improved DESPITE the advancements of the second wave of feminism (equal pay, discrimination etc). these are all issues that she loves to chat about all the time. but she fails to see the connection between choice/identity politics, neoliberal government corruption and corporate greed, and the alienation of these communities from mainstream thinking. shes too bleeping dumb to make those connections. she hasnt done her research. she doesnt read anything and she certainly doesnt think about it in an intelligent way. she just takes it as a personal offence because she is projecting as usual.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

@cahil

 

[littlepup]

she is GENUINELY the stupidest woman on the internet. even more stupid than those trad wives she has such beef with

Amazing post
Her stupidity is flabbergasting not least by way of not understand the issue

She’s openly said (not that the roles shouldn’t exist but) she wants to be the parent that has little interest or input to their children beyond playing, that is sounds great. And thinks she’s being smart and clever. Her critique is of the women in this scenario, not the men.

She also doesn’t realise she has neither the stamina, skills or wherewithal in general to be the trad male she is idolising, nor the trad woman she looks down upon.

And I am not a supporter of traditional roles but understand it’s not all easy on the man and terrible for the woman, there would be work & responsibilities as well as benefits on both sides.

99% of us would agree that women not serving men is not the root cause of poor MH in males, she didn’t need to drag all this into it. But the phrase “it goes without saying” was never one for AJ. Not that she projects at all.

 

[willowtree2]

Holy moly, the 3 year old walked down the road without the pram. Why do I get the feeling she isn’t disclosing why she got the ‘dreaded’ call just so she can palm him off elsewhere tomorrow.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Her critique is of the women in this scenario, not the men.

That’s such a good point
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Holy moly, the 3 year old walked down the road without the pram. Why do I get the feeling she isn’t disclosing why she got the ‘dreaded’ call just so she can palm him off elsewhere tomorrow.

He was even smiling!

 

[YahBasic]

That’s such a good point
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He was even smiling!

Probably cos he was allowed to walk 200m for the first time ever.

She is deliberately keeping his world so small. Mainly because her world is so small, and that’s why every tiny thing is such a drama and why she asks #canyoucope - actually, yes, we are functioning adults that can do more than one task at a time.

 

[boundandgagged]

Sorry if I seem a bit thick but should I know what the dreaded call is? Also that rant about trad women but she would like to be a trad male was bleeping ridiculous, she massively contradicted herself and made herself look even more stupid and for gods sake women get your kid a proper haircut

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Sorry if I seem a bit thick but should I know what the dreaded call is? Also that rant about trad women but she would like to be a trad male was bleeping ridiculous, she massively contradicted herself and made herself look even more stupid and for gods sake women get your kid a proper haircut

It’s when nursery or school phones you to say your child is ill and needs picking up. It’s especially awful for Ash because she might be getting her hair frazzled by Micheal Crunchy Curls.

 

[cahil]

Sorry if I seem a bit thick but should I know what the dreaded call is? Also that rant about trad women but she would like to be a trad male was bleeping ridiculous, she massively contradicted herself and made herself look even more stupid and for gods sake women get your kid a proper haircut

i think it is code for 'your child has a temperature, please take them out of childcare so they dont become a vector of disease'.

funny that Ash is the one who has to pick him up. might be something to do with her spending the day at PT/ranting on stories ie not having a proper job. contrast with Tommy who clearly was working in an actual job all day. gender roles again AMIRITE?
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i think it is code for 'your child has a temperature, please take them out of childcare so they dont become a vector of disease'.

funny that Ash is the one who has to pick him up. might be something to do with her spending the day at PT/ranting on stories ie not having a proper job. contrast with Tommy who clearly was working in an actual job all day. gender roles again AMIRITE?

eta sorry @JarvisCockerSpaniel crosspost!

 

[boundandgagged]

It’s when nursery or school phones you to say your child is ill and needs picking up. It’s especially awful for Ash because she might be getting her hair frazzled by Micheal Crunchy Curls.

Thought so but could she not just say that Alf was poorly or better still not tell the whole world? She's insufferable