RECAP.
November saw Trashley James getting her breasts out on Remembrance Day. She couldn’t possibly wait 2 minutes for the 8 month old to stop feeding and show the war dead an ounce of respect they deserve! She HAD to show her poppy and peoples shitty reactions are the fault of the patriarchy.
The incapable cunts took the in laws on a gifted Maldives trip where they posed on the white Sandy beaches with Ada, without Alf, who was running hobbling down the beach like an extra from Tom Hank’s Castaway.
No time to rest for the Littles as they were chucked into childcare jet lagged, up from 3am, but Ash needed to rest cos holiday was so stressful with 4 adults to look after 2 children.
Stephs Packed Lunch was a flop. Ash still a stiff shaky wreck but somehow Queen Snarl landed a quick 10 minute slot on This Morning where she was annihilated by Nick Ferrari.
The house move is still flopping so she still hates her life.
Alf is looking like cousin It whilst Ada’s ready to meet King Charles to receive her child of the year medal.
Ash declared she was the best mum but naturally she can’t be around her kids all the time. She did a whole 2 hours with them but came over funny as she didn’t manage to get washing away during her 9 hours of child free time and ran away when Tommy got home.
Once a week Ash is filmed pushing the pram to childcare to show off the practical outfit Tatiana, a closet Tattler, we think, has chosen for her to walk down the road in! Rest of the time it’s Tommys duty to get the kids to childcare whilst she recovers from parenting the previous day.
Alf’s delays are more obvious. Princess Ad has her hip X-ray today. Hopefully the forced walking and new Clark’s shoes she recieved at 8 months old won’t have done any harm! Meanwhile Alf can’t walk up 2 steps, walk down the road or use a trampoline at 3 years old.
Still a useless human and all round shit mother.
Lovely holiday x
)photos in the book and hoping for the best. Feel guilty for leaving it to the last minute so trying to channel Ash and remember that I’m a 
great mum
🫠