Anyone here suffer from mental health issues?

[MrsBsDayOff]

Thank you for the reassurance

Did you feel ok going back after 2 weeks or was it difficult?

I went in this morning, sat in the car park in tears, trying to pull myself together, do my deep breathing etc but just couldn't. Went into the building and told my boss I needed to leave and she said fine but nobody has contacted me and I know the school (I'm a teacher) are struggling financially and cannot afford supply teachers. Im embarrassed as on my way out I was visibly upset and had to walk past lots of staff as they were arriving, I wished I was invisible.

I feel I'm letting the children in my class down and the staff down. Also I'm paranoid I'll be gossiped about.

I was nervous going back, but it was actually fine. I got on with my day and tried to work at a slower pace and take one day at a time. People didn't act any differently (although they didn't know I was out for MH, I'd say they had a fair idea as I'd been visibly struggling).

The school struggling financially isn't your problem to worry about, that's for them to solve and for them to find a supply teacher. That's the last thing that you should be worrying about right now.

I wouldn't worry about staff seeing you upset, I've cried at work and seen others do it too, it's human nature.
I know a former colleague who is on leave because he had a nervous breakdown. I don't think any less of him in a personal or professional sense. I'm sure no one else does either, certainly not the few colleagues that I've spoken to.

Mental health problems are an illness for attendance purposes like a cold or a flu would be. You can't be let go from the school for that. You need to look at it the same as if you had a physical illness like a flu or a broken leg, rather than focusing on it as a 'stigma'

 

[Rodneytrotter]

I was nervous going back, but it was actually fine. I got on with my day and tried to work at a slower pace and take one day at a time. People didn't act any differently (although they didn't know I was out for MH, I'd say they had a fair idea as I'd been visibly struggling).

The school struggling financially isn't your problem to worry about, that's for them to solve and for them to find a supply teacher. That's the last thing that you should be worrying about right now.

I wouldn't worry about staff seeing you upset, I've cried at work and seen others do it too, it's human nature.
I know a former colleague who is on leave because he had a nervous breakdown. I don't think any less of him in a personal or professional sense. I'm sure no one else does either, certainly not the few colleagues that I've spoken to.

Mental health problems are an illness for attendance purposes like a cold or a flu would be. You can't be let go from the school for that. You need to look at it the same as if you had a physical illness like a flu or a broken leg, rather than focusing on it as a 'stigma'

I completely agree with you and would always encourage others to take time off if struggling, I just cant do it myself! I'm glad you settled back into work okay after your time off.

 

[Dianne]

Don't feel guilty about it, I had to take 2 weeks off work once due to bad anxiety, and I would be the type who is very diligent about work and hates missing a day due to illness. I felt guilty at the time but after talking through it with family I changed my mindset and then didn't feel one bit guilty.
The doctor put a chest infection or something on the sick note for me, if you don't feel comfortable disclosing MH issues to your employer.

I didn’t know drs could lie about the reason! I’m off work this week with anxiety, wish I’d have known that.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Going back tomorrow after a couple of days off. My work dont know but i have ptsd, I sometimes get what my dr refers to as acute stress response which makes me become very 'fight or flight' very quickly. if anyone asks if im OK im just going to say 'yes thanks'. If they ask what was wrong I'll just say a headache I think! My work is very gossipy and unsympathetic to MH issues.

I hope everyone here is doing good.

 

[Loveit17]

Health anxiety, it’s awful when I get waves of it, I’ve never sought help for it but part of health anxiety for me is not trusting doctors so that’s probably why

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

Going back tomorrow after a couple of days off. My work dont know but i have ptsd, I sometimes get what my dr refers to as acute stress response which makes me become very 'fight or flight' very quickly. if anyone asks if im OK im just going to say 'yes thanks'. If they ask what was wrong I'll just say a headache I think! My work is very gossipy and unsympathetic to MH issues.

I hope everyone here is doing good.

I hope you are too. Let us know how you're getting on.

I didn’t know drs could lie about the reason! I’m off work this week with anxiety, wish I’d have known that.

Yes. They will put down whatever you want on the sick note, in my experience.

 

[JSquared]

Anyone feeling low but worried to get signed off?
My work aren’t willing to help re workload etc. I’ve literally sat there, crying and begging for help but nothing. Feel like it’s my only choice but scared they will be pissed off

 

[Dianne]

I just get to the point with work where I think ‘ you either help me, or I’ll have to go off sick’. And it’s just stupid because then it’s worse for them because they then have to cover a whole job instead of just trying to lessen the workload to keep that member of staff in work.

I just got signed off for 3 weeks, can’t be arsed. I’m grumpy.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I'm going for a gynae exam tomorrow and in absolute bits about it with panic. I've tried twice before to get smears and on neither occasion could the nurse get the speculum in as (despite trying to stay calm) I tensed so much and got panic attacks.

I'm thinking of listening to some upbeat music on earphones during the exam to distract me.

Right now I'm expecting she won't be able to get the speculum in, AGAIN. I have to get the bus to the GP surgery as I know I'll be too shaky on the way home to drive my car safely.

Anyone else have this problem or have any advice?

I just get to the point with work where I think ‘ you either help me, or I’ll have to go off sick’. And it’s just stupid because then it’s worse for them because they then have to cover a whole job instead of just trying to lessen the workload to keep that member of staff in work.

I just got signed off for 3 weeks, can’t be arsed. I’m grumpy.

Damn right. Staffing is on their plate to cover, not yours.

 

[Carapop]

I'm going for a gynae exam tomorrow and in absolute bits about it with panic. I've tried twice before to get smears and on neither occasion could the nurse get the speculum in as (despite trying to stay calm) I tensed so much and got panic attacks.

I'm thinking of listening to some upbeat music on earphones during the exam to distract me.

Right now I'm expecting she won't be able to get the speculum in, AGAIN. I have to get the bus to the GP surgery as I know I'll be too shaky on the way home to drive my car safely.

Anyone else have this problem or have any advice?


Damn right. Staffing is on their plate to cover, not yours.

oh you poor thing that sounds horrible. Have you spoken to the doctor about it? Are they providing any support beyond recommending you relax? (The one word guaranteed to make on least likely to relax!) could you try listening to a guided meditation or breathing exercises? Worst case scenario surely they could give you a one off Valium or Xanax to relax your muscles and quiet your mind.

I just get to the point with work where I think ‘ you either help me, or I’ll have to go off sick’. And it’s just stupid because then it’s worse for them because they then have to cover a whole job instead of just trying to lessen the workload to keep that member of staff in work.

I just got signed off for 3 weeks, can’t be arsed. I’m grumpy.

You look after you. We are but cogs in their machines. I have been there. I was doing twelve hours days (paid for 8 hours) doing my work and the work of my boss (who was on stress leave!). Thought I was irreplaceable and it would all collapse without me. My body gave in. Emergency surgery. A week in hospital. Four months off work. Everything ticked along fine in my absence. Suddenly everyone else found space on their full plates. The priorities were reprioritised. My role was actually absorbed by the rest of the team and I returned to a brand new job. Hilarious.

sorry! Tangent. But the crux is duck them, your health and well being is what gives you life

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

oh you poor thing that sounds horrible. Have you spoken to the doctor about it? Are they providing any support beyond recommending you relax? (The one word guaranteed to make on least likely to relax!) could you try listening to a guided meditation or breathing exercises? Worst case scenario surely they could give you a one off Valium or Xanax to relax your muscles and quiet your mind.


You look after you. We are but cogs in their machines. I have been there. I was doing twelve hours days (paid for 8 hours) doing my work and the work of my boss (who was on stress leave!). Thought I was irreplaceable and it would all collapse without me. My body gave in. Emergency surgery. A week in hospital. Four months off work. Everything ticked along fine in my absence. Suddenly everyone else found space on their full plates. The priorities were reprioritised. My role was actually absorbed by the rest of the team and I returned to a brand new job. Hilarious.

sorry! Tangent. But the crux is duck them, your health and well being is what gives you life

Thanks for your comment, I mentioned it to the doctor over the phone today (I was almost in tears explaining that i'd had a bad speculum experience twice before) and she was sympathetic and said something like 'we'll try make it easy for you'. I hope she's nice in person, she is a new GP in this surgery. They have on my medical notes already that I'm treated in this surgery for anxiety (I take antidepressants). Yeah I really hope she offers valium.
I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[Carapop]

Thanks for your comment, I mentioned it to the doctor over the phone today (I was almost in tears explaining that i'd had a bad speculum experience twice before) and she was sympathetic and said something like 'we'll try make it easy for you'. I hope she's nice in person, she is a new GP in this surgery. They have on my medical notes already that I'm treated in this surgery for anxiety (I take antidepressants). Yeah I really hope she offers valium.
I'll let you know how it goes.

All the very best of luck! Hopefully it being a new doctor will mean she will have a new approach and you’ll not be reminded of past experiences. Try and see this as a fresh start.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I have MPD due to early childhood trauma, and I just feel alone, odd as that seems when you’re multiple. I tried a few mpd forums, but they don’t work for me. I’ve been dealing with it since ‘73, but I have a hard time when one of the younger ones get hurt feelings. There is a struggle to ignore, or deal with it. And how as a 67 year old woman, do you tell someone “I’m sorry but you’ve hurt the feelings of my toddler self, and you’re not being nice.“. I Hope it’s 0k just barging in, I don’t know how else to enter. And I have an unhealthy fear of insulting or upsetting people.
Good luck with the new Dr @MrsBsDayOff I always freak out when that instrument comes out. I‘ve knocked over test tubes, I don’t react well. I bet a man invented it!

 

[sarahboo]

I suffer with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed health anxiety!

I am currently off work (which I never thought I would do!!) as restarted Sertraline last week, it’s been rough at times in all honesty but I think I have made the right choice. I hate being off work, will push through illness, work all the hours under the sun etc. But the last few months have been hard, I have been struggling with coping and felt at my wits end. I have been on annual leave and just lost it, I was panicking over so many things then crying uncontrollably for hours. Funnily enough the next morning I saw a post on instagram that said something along the lines of ‘you’ll work 40+ hours a week for someone else but won’t dedicate an hour to yourself’ and I thought sod it, I need to look after myself and felt kinda over putting in so many hours a week at a detriment to my well-being, so spoke to my boss and said I will be going off sick. I don’t feel guilty one bit, I actually feel better for taking the time for me. I used to be a bit embarrassed by my mental health and although work are supportive, sometimes they just don’t quite get it. Their views can be quite old school, which has made me reluctant to share my feelings in the past. I constantly feel the need to prove myself, my worth and my strength so not to be seen as ‘weak’ or just another person ‘pulling the mental health card’ as they do see it as a get out of jail free card.

I have taken different types of antidepressants in the past but they made me very aggressive and angry so for years I went without. I have had CBT and private counselling in the past. My trouble is, I feel better in these sessions and seem to tell the therapist what they want to hear so they think I am getting better. I suppose in some aspects I am because I will talk about positives but I then tend to hold back the harsh reality of things that I am still struggling with. I’m not sure if it’s a self sabotage thing or what but I’ve had a few Drs even tell me ‘I have a good grip on my depression and anxiety’. I just feel like I need someone there with me every step of the way sometimes. So right now I am back on Sertraline as that worked for me when I was first on it and debating whether to seek counselling again. I can’t help but feel I have failed and that I am never going to get better, I just can’t make things stick!

Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest it can be quite lonely with mental health struggles sometimes.

 

[VioletButterfly]

It's lonely until you let your walls down and share with someone, but then you run the risk of altering the relationship. If it was a broken leg, or appendicitis they wouldn't be saying 'put it out of your mind and don't think about it'. What's the 1st response when you tell someone you're depressed? "Oh cheer up" They're well meaning and don't mean to minimalize it, but when you say lonely, I know the feeling well.

 

[Lord Farquad]

Hello everyone,

I wondered if you might be able to help me. I’ve been poorly for years but only received an official diagnosis around 3 months ago. I’ve been diagnosed with EUPD and am currently on a trial of anti-psychotics. I’m being monitored closely to check my body responds to the drug.

For the past three years I haven’t been well enough to work due to random psychotic breaks. I’ve been hospitalised 3 times. I can go weeks feeling and looking completely normal and then wake up like a different person. It’s so random, I’m unable to plan things very far in advance. We are hoping the medication will help this. My psychiatrist is confident but I’m very wary.

Anyway, I’ve been living on my savings and not claiming anything at all. He told me I may be eligible for PIP due to my diagnosis and medication on record etc. I’ve just started the process and I’m waiting for the claim form to arrive. Does anybody have experience with this? I genuinely think I won’t qualify because as I said, I can be a completely happy and normal person for weeks at a time. It’s like there’s 2 different people living in my head.

PIP would definitely be helpful as I could stop dipping into my savings until I’m stable enough (fingers crossed) to go back to work.

A x

 

[daisydolittle]

Hello everyone,

I wondered if you might be able to help me. I’ve been poorly for years but only received an official diagnosis around 3 months ago. I’ve been diagnosed with EUPD and am currently on a trial of anti-psychotics. I’m being monitored closely to check my body responds to the drug.

For the past three years I haven’t been well enough to work due to random psychotic breaks. I’ve been hospitalised 3 times. I can go weeks feeling and looking completely normal and then wake up like a different person. It’s so random, I’m unable to plan things very far in advance. We are hoping the medication will help this. My psychiatrist is confident but I’m very wary.

Anyway, I’ve been living on my savings and not claiming anything at all. He told me I may be eligible for PIP due to my diagnosis and medication on record etc. I’ve just started the process and I’m waiting for the claim form to arrive. Does anybody have experience with this? I genuinely think I won’t qualify because as I said, I can be a completely happy and normal person for weeks at a time. It’s like there’s 2 different people living in my head.

PIP would definitely be helpful as I could stop dipping into my savings until I’m stable enough (fingers crossed) to go back to work.

A x

Hi, I have this condition as well and can totally sympathise, it's the worst thing ever! I currently take Duloxetine and Lamotrigine, it has worked for the past few years but I'm not sure if it's starting to not be as affective as my spending is becoming a problem and my relationship with my boyfriend is starting to deteriorate because of my moods, one minute I love him so much and the next I'm telling him to drop dead . I don't know how I feel, it's a nightmare although he is very patient with me. I also have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis but I know I'll never go through with it because of my children.
I do claim ESA and PIP, (I do have other medical issues though), I will warn you applying for PIP is a very stressful process, the assessors are ruthless idiots who tend to lie. PIP is based on how the condition affects you on a daily basis not the actual condition. I was told years ago by a lady from DWP that you fill the form in as if it was your worst day ever, if you get what I mean. There is a charity called Fightback who are based in Bury who are really, really good at helping with advice, they have a Facebook page. I would definitely contact them before filling in forms.
Wishing you lots of luck x

 

[Lord Farquad]

Hi, I have this condition as well and can totally sympathise, it's the worst thing ever! I currently take Duloxetine and Lamotrigine, it has worked for the past few years but I'm not sure if it's starting to not be as affective as my spending is becoming a problem and my relationship with my boyfriend is starting to deteriorate because of my moods, one minute I love him so much and the next I'm telling him to drop dead . I don't know how I feel, it's a nightmare although he is very patient with me. I also have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis but I know I'll never go through with it because of my children.
I do claim ESA and PIP, (I do have other medical issues though), I will warn you applying for PIP is a very stressful process, the assessors are ruthless idiots who tend to lie. PIP is based on how the condition affects you on a daily basis not the actual condition. I was told years ago by a lady from DWP that you fill the form in as if it was your worst day ever, if you get what I mean. There is a charity called Fightback who are based in Bury who are really, really good at helping with advice, they have a Facebook page. I would definitely contact them before filling in forms.
Wishing you lots of luck x

Hello,
First of all, thank you so much for getting back to me. You’ve been super helpful and I’m going to ensure a service help me to fill the form in.
Second of all. My heart goes out to you. It’s just an absolute hell. Six months back, I jumped from a second storey window during a manic episode and luckily only fractured my ankle in two places. I say luckily because it could have been my neck. I’ve had two surgeries and been left with plates and scars. It may sound awful but I’m starting to think one good part of that is that it’s evidence of my condition. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful there! It’s just like you said, I know how difficult it is to get the doctors to take mental health seriously, never mind PIP. I fully expect it to be very cut throat.

I’m sending you so much strength and I hope you have good support around you. Sounds as though your boyfriend is a stayer. Mine is too and sometimes it can be the only thing keeping us safe. Much love x

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I had a particularly bad day on Saturday, triggered by stress and a rejection (employment related), I've been worrying about multiple issues. I managed to distress my partner considerably, I feel awful about it because he is unwell and in a lot of pain.
A month or so ago, I applied for a course of CBT. I had an assessment, followed by a session a week ago. At the end of it, I was tearful and felt vulnerable. So I've cancelled the sessions, I don't think this is the right therapy for me, I will try to seek alternatives.
Everything seems so difficult at the moment, I am unable to sleep as well.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I’m sorry you’re struggling @Rockin' Robin . Till you find a new course of treatment, do you have any methods of de-stressing a little? I hope I’m not repeating myself, but I found that going to a zen moment in my memory, and focusing on the sights and smells and feelings of that moment, can really bring me back to a softer, calmer state of mind. if you can emotionally travel back to that one perfect moment, hold onto it, pause it and stay in that moment for as long as you need, for me it’s like smelling salts to bring one out of a faint. It snapped me right of a full blown panic episode, and that’s the zen moment I grab onto whenever the stress is taking me to a bad place. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.