I’ve taken Paroxetine, Sertraline and Citalopram, between the ages of 16 and 18. Paroxetine is, I don’t think, prescribed to adolescents anymore, or maybe not at all, but there was a panorama investigation into it being prescribed to teenagers and that generally being a really bad thing. I took it for three ish months, and it was awful. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t focus, I was seeing things, increased self harm and so on. I had thought I was struggling with my mental health when I agreed to try them, but I genuinely thought I had lost all control of my mind and emotions. The only way I can describe it is to say I felt I had truly gone mad, but I realise that’s really negative language to use so I do apologise for being unable to think of a better way of wording it. I went back to the doctor week after week begging to come off them. they insisted on the 3 month period when it would usually settle down. When it didn’t, they stopped me ‘cold turkey’, which was another two weeks of feeling even worse. Sertraline and Citalopram were much better for me in comparison, but not without side effects. One of them I went up to the max dose but the only thing both of them did for me was make me feel numb. I remember being tormented by the fact that someone would say something really funny to me, and I’d laugh, but I’d feel nothing. Can’t even describe the feeling, but it eventually wore me down and I stopped taking whichever the final one was that I took. I experienced an inability to orgasm with all three, and I gained weight (but have never been slim and my weight has always fluctuated, this may or may not have been a side effect.
It’s funny how people’s experiences can all be so different. I don’t think I’d ever try an SSRI again, I’m too scared to go through the side effects. I realise that ‘being unable to feel a deep down belly laugh’ sounds a pathetic thing to cling onto, but it’s just where I am. Which is a shame, as my anxiety has probably never been worse than it is currently and I am really keen to bring down the constant feeling of dread and panic a bit, in order to then feel strong enough to deal with why I’m anxious.
my husband, on the other hand, has taken an SSRI for all the time we’ve known each other and then some, and whilst he does have some side effects (night sweats, he is a bit flat emotionally, but I’m not sure how much of it is his loveable grumpy old man personality!) it’s worked really well for him and helped him overcome his very crippling anxiety. He has been slowly reducing the dosage to see how he gets in, but if he had to take them for the rest of his life I don’t think it would bother him.