same here. I am trying not to be hurt about it but I am. I’m trying to think of good things and stay positive. Had a lovely dinner that I managed to eat (havent eaten in a week), strictly is on now, gogglebox later and i bought my own presents so at least I’ve opened all things I loveSorry you're poorly, not pathetic at all, I've also had no texts, thought I would from someone, but nope! I've actually had lovely messages from folks on here, I don't know them, but it means alot.
Ooh Strictly. Thanks!same here. I am trying not to be hurt about it but I am. I’m trying to think of good things and stay positive. Had a lovely dinner that I managed to eat (havent eaten in a week), strictly is on now, gogglebox later and i bought my own presents so at least I’ve opened all things I love
Both my parents are dead and my sister lives 150 miles away. So every year I troop over to the in-laws with wife and kids. And the best thing you can say about that is I diplomatically tolerate the in laws. I just want to get home, climb into a snuddie push back the recliner and start reading the interesting book I got as a present. Instead I'm stuck here watching Home Alone 2 on terrestrial TV. Christmas just isn't about me though so I guess I've just to to endure. This is the absolute definition of a first world problem. There is just nothing to say that hasn't been said 1000s of times before. Nothing interesting happening, even my girls look bored shitless. I honestly don't recognise the happy clappy Hollywood Christmas I'm supposed to be having when compared with this fucking misery.I'm just finding it really boring now. I'm lucky enough to have a family to spend it with but it's small and we see eachother fairly frequently so the conversation is dry. I hate a roast dinner so that's no good for me. There's fuck all on the telly. I'm just waiting for my relatives to go home so I can watch Netflix in peace now
Urgh I'm going to the in laws tomorrow where no doubt I'll be made to feel very difficult for being a vegetarian. I've insisted we take a board game so at least I can be marginally entertained vs sitting watching crap TV.Both my parents are dead and my sister lives 150 miles away. So every year I troop over to the in-laws with wife and kids. And the best thing you can say about that is I diplomatically tolerate the in laws. I just want to get home, climb into a snuddie push back the recliner and start reading the interesting book I got as a present. Instead I'm stuck here watching Home Alone 2 on terrestrial TV. Christmas just isn't about me though so I guess I've just to to endure. This is the absolute definition of a first world problem. There is just nothing to say that hasn't been said 1000s of times before. Nothing interesting happening, even my girls look bored shitless. I honestly don't recognise the happy clappy Hollywood Christmas I'm supposed to be having when compared with this fucking misery.
I know exactly how it will end as well. As usual she's catered for a small army and will insist on "doggy bagging" shit loads of sandwiches and cold chicken legs, which my wife will pressure me into taking so as not to upset her mum. Which means we will have a fridge full of manky food, which we don't need, to dispose of after tomorrow when the "favour" is returned and they will visit us to, "see the girls presents". I suppose at least at our place we have 21st century TV so I can at least watch what I want whilst fake smiling.
Just some ideas from the top of my head.Both my parents are dead and my sister lives 150 miles away. So every year I troop over to the in-laws with wife and kids. And the best thing you can say about that is I diplomatically tolerate the in laws. I just want to get home, climb into a snuddie push back the recliner and start reading the interesting book I got as a present. Instead I'm stuck here watching Home Alone 2 on terrestrial TV. Christmas just isn't about me though so I guess I've just to to endure. This is the absolute definition of a first world problem. There is just nothing to say that hasn't been said 1000s of times before. Nothing interesting happening, even my girls look bored shitless. I honestly don't recognise the happy clappy Hollywood Christmas I'm supposed to be having when compared with this fucking misery.
I know exactly how it will end as well. As usual she's catered for a small army and will insist on "doggy bagging" shit loads of sandwiches and cold chicken legs, which my wife will pressure me into taking so as not to upset her mum. Which means we will have a fridge full of manky food, which we don't need, to dispose of after tomorrow when the "favour" is returned and they will visit us to, "see the girls presents". I suppose at least at our place we have 21st century TV so I can at least watch what I want whilst fake smiling.
Sorry if i'm adding fuel to the fire, but if she is just making it so miserable for you please think about not going next year. Just because they're family doesn't mean that they can treat you how they want.Update - Christmas has gotten a bit better for me since my last post. My very manic bipolar mother has calmed down since this afternoon no apology in sight but better than being in a very hostile environment. Just feel so bad for my partner he hasn’t done anything wrong
Yeah I’m SO embarrassed I’ve been with my partner four years so he unfortunately knows all too well what she’s like but I won’t be spending another Christmas in such an environment as life is too short and I need to put myself first. Think we’ll be going on holiday next year. I’m sorry you have a toxic family too and I’m glad you’re strong enough to realise it. I will hopefully find similar strength. I hope you’ve had a wonderful daySorry if i'm adding fuel to the fire, but if she is just making it so miserable for you please think about not going next year. Just because they're family doesn't mean that they can treat you how they want.
My family is toxic with a capital T. Not going today has been hard but I'm sure it would have been worse if I had gone back to london. You don't deserve to be in hostile environment.
Well done for deciding to take back your power. I hope you do go for the holiday next year.Yeah I’m SO embarrassed I’ve been with my partner four years so he unfortunately knows all too well what she’s like but I won’t be spending another Christmas in such an environment as life is too short and I need to put myself first. Think we’ll be going on holiday next year. I’m sorry you have a toxic family too and I’m glad you’re strong enough to realise it. I will hopefully find similar strength. I hope you’ve had a wonderful day
Sending you love Watermelon.Sorry if this isn’t the right thread for it. I do like Christmas and the build up etc and have enjoyed today mainly for my toddler
But i have BPD, and when i have a really good day, at the end of it i always get a terrible feeling of lowness and depression. I get it awful every christmas. I’ve had a really good day but i’m sat on my own now and i just feel really down and feel like crying. i’ve had the most awful year of my life and i’ve just spent last half an hour reflecting on that. i’m not looking forward to 2023 cos i’ve got a load of health issues i’m going through and i just feel bleh. It’s like i get a really bad crash after a good day it is odd. Always the worst on Christmas Day i find.
thank you rainbowSending you love Watermelon.
I also have/had BPD. Even when I was younger I would always feel the same after really good days out to a theme park for example.
I have seen your other posts. I know nothing I say can help but It's okay to cry. Life can be overwhelming. I hope you can get the rest you need in bed and remember you are so loved.
Your post resonated with me. I have always hated Xmas and made to feel like a miserable old killjoy for not enjoying it and being glad when it’s over. As a child, my Father always managed to ruin it every year with outbursts of rage/temper and tantrums over nothing.I don't enjoy Christmas. I was relieved to read other people on this thread saying that even as a child they disliked it.
I remember as a child feeling immense pressure to put on a performance of being happy and grateful. My dad is also a bit of a histrionic narc at times so Christmas in our house always involved him having some sort of screaming meltdown. I found it all so stressful and overstimulating.
Now I try to keep it as low key as possible but it still brings up all these negative emotions for me. We had lunch with my family and it was relaxed and enjoyable, but when I got home in the evening I was low and very tearful. I think it's the pressure and the feelings of inadequacy that I wasn't good enough in some way, or I failed or let someone down. I would love to be released from all that. Even typing this post I'm harshly judging myself because I should be so grateful for my lovely family and lovely day. I'm also one of these people that tries to spend their emotions. So resisting buying tonnes of shit in the run up is also very draining.
I will be so relieved when it's all over.
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