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The reason I ask is the ex colleague I mentioned upthread who was overly competitive and blocked my chances for advancement reached out to me on LinkedIn. She was gushing about how glad she was to see me doing well elsewhere 
I clicked on her page to see what she was up to and I see she managed a successful project and all my ex colleagues were telling her what an asset she is. I should feel indifferent as I've long since moved on but all I feel is bitter and resentful. Sure she's good at her job and alot more upbeat and forthcoming than I am, but she's only a great colleague to those who pose no threat to her. She certainly wasn't an asset to me, meddling in my workload and excluding me from meetings and events. It got me thinking that having a persona and being overly peppy seems to get you further than keeping your head down but working hard.
I clicked on her page to see what she was up to and I see she managed a successful project and all my ex colleagues were telling her what an asset she is. I should feel indifferent as I've long since moved on but all I feel is bitter and resentful. Sure she's good at her job and alot more upbeat and forthcoming than I am, but she's only a great colleague to those who pose no threat to her. She certainly wasn't an asset to me, meddling in my workload and excluding me from meetings and events. It got me thinking that having a persona and being overly peppy seems to get you further than keeping your head down but working hard.I sometimes think there are people with who are good at their job etc. and with whom there’s no real problem, but who can be really difficult when you have to work with them in the wrong context. As an example, a few years ago I ended up managing someone who applied for a role and didn’t get it, and I did. They were very well thought of and did good work, but my God they were a challenge to manage because they resented me for being where I was. Literally everything I said or did was an issue or a problem and was met with muttering, huffing and eye-rolling, and tbh, it got to the point where their behaviour bordered on bullying - and it didn’t help that senior managers thought the sun shone out of their backside.The reason I ask is the ex colleague I mentioned upthread who was overly competitive and blocked my chances for advancement reached out to me on LinkedIn. She was gushing about how glad she was to see me doing well elsewhere
I have no doubt that if we in a situation where we were peers and I wasn’t perceived as competition we would have got on fine and worked well together, but it was just the context of our work relationship and a bit of a lack of maturity on their side. Not a lot I can say in terms of managing it - my philosophy is work is work, it is not prison sentence and if something doesn’t work for me, I move on.
I can totally see how your situation would be difficult to navigate if your subordinate was acting out and refusing to accept your role. In my case, I didn't report to this person but she was a grade higher in an adjacent role and she wanted to manage role so she could control it. She had my card marked as one to watch from the day I started, so was cold and aloof with me and warm and personable to everyone else. She officiously meddled in my work load (having a more strategic insight attending higher level meetings) she would exclude me from meetings and events where she felt I'd have visibility from senior managers. She'd piggyback on my comments in meetings and go away and expand on my ideas. Whatever I did she was always one step ahead of me. It was also a case you could construe as bullying except she was so savvy that she always towed the line of professionalism. I felt it would be twisted if I raised if with management as she was SO highly regarded and made herself indispensile. In the end i didnt feel our horses were even running in same race, so I kept my head down, did my work and moved on - except I can't really forget that she tried to pigeon-hole me because she felt a tinge of threat about me. That's not what a would be leader should do.
As an aside, she sent flowers to my home when I had a short stay in hospital and then blanked me when I returned to the office. She would run rings around me playing hot and cold. All I can conclude was she was worried about me surpassing her
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I dunno if its been covered much but people telling you how to do your job - i say this as i have just been told a story by a friend who has just had a warning for throwing a mouse (computer not real) at her coleague who has spent most fo the day telling her she was doing the jobs she`s been doing for 10 years wrong (she got him right between the eye`s) 
Not quite the same but a bully boy slipped through my radar, and I am usually very good at sussing people out.
To everyone though including those of us he bullied, he put on this fantastic act of good humour and helpfulness. I suppose that was how he managed to take in so many people.
Thankfully we have long parted ways but if I had a penny for every time someone commented to me about how lovely he was or asked me was he always so good humoured,
I would be a very rich woman. If ever there was a psychopath in the workplace, he was one.
I worked in a project team a few years back that had a lot of vendors sitting in with us.
There was a woman who worked for one of the vendors, who gave me a very bad feeling from day one ... just the sight of her sent a shiver down my spine. She was incredibly sweet - sickly sweet - but I would often catch her giving people the evil eye when she thought they weren't looking. A couple of times when we were both working late, she'd let rip and tell me how she hated her job and would start listing what was wrong with each and every one in the project team. It was so bizarre - very Jekyll and Hyde-ish.
We sat with our backs to each other and a couple of times I would feel her watching me, which would be proven to be the case when I spun around. I'd ask politely if she needed me for anything, and she'd just grunt.
When I took leave, she made an appointment with my line manager (who didn't sit with us, nor did he have any sort of involvement with her as a vendor) to express an interest in applying for my job if I ever decided to leave! She also made out to him that I was extremely unhappy. This was all lies - I kept my conversations with her to a minimum and never expressed dissatisfaction with my job. I only found out she'd said all this when he invited me out for coffee and said he had made some initial progress with getting me a transfer to another project. I was absolutely furious and told him that I thought she was untrustworthy and out to cause trouble. His response was to ask if I was jealous of her because she was younger; I honestly could not believe he asked that, especially as I'm someone who is very appreciative and respectful of rising talent.
I moved on - to a new organisation - a few months later, joining a project manager I'd previously worked for at this place (who couldn't stand our line manager). At that point, the vendor woman did take up my old role but was let go after a few weeks for telling porkies in an effort to cover her butt on something quite major! She'd also been acting like a complete witch to a couple of the project assistants, dumping work on them at the 11th hour and blaming them for her mistakes. #Karma. My former line manager asked if I would come back and admitted he should've listened to me, but I had great pleasure in telling him to take a hike (nicely, of course).
There was a woman who worked for one of the vendors, who gave me a very bad feeling from day one ... just the sight of her sent a shiver down my spine. She was incredibly sweet - sickly sweet - but I would often catch her giving people the evil eye when she thought they weren't looking. A couple of times when we were both working late, she'd let rip and tell me how she hated her job and would start listing what was wrong with each and every one in the project team. It was so bizarre - very Jekyll and Hyde-ish.
We sat with our backs to each other and a couple of times I would feel her watching me, which would be proven to be the case when I spun around. I'd ask politely if she needed me for anything, and she'd just grunt.
When I took leave, she made an appointment with my line manager (who didn't sit with us, nor did he have any sort of involvement with her as a vendor) to express an interest in applying for my job if I ever decided to leave! She also made out to him that I was extremely unhappy. This was all lies - I kept my conversations with her to a minimum and never expressed dissatisfaction with my job. I only found out she'd said all this when he invited me out for coffee and said he had made some initial progress with getting me a transfer to another project. I was absolutely furious and told him that I thought she was untrustworthy and out to cause trouble. His response was to ask if I was jealous of her because she was younger; I honestly could not believe he asked that, especially as I'm someone who is very appreciative and respectful of rising talent.
I moved on - to a new organisation - a few months later, joining a project manager I'd previously worked for at this place (who couldn't stand our line manager). At that point, the vendor woman did take up my old role but was let go after a few weeks for telling porkies in an effort to cover her butt on something quite major! She'd also been acting like a complete witch to a couple of the project assistants, dumping work on them at the 11th hour and blaming them for her mistakes. #Karma. My former line manager asked if I would come back and admitted he should've listened to me, but I had great pleasure in telling him to take a hike (nicely, of course).
This has probably been mentioned, but when a manager (or your manager's manager) puts in a 'quick chat' meeting in your calendar, which invariably leads to a surge of panic and wondering what you're going to be told off about/what you've done wrong...only to get in said chat and it's only that she wanted to tell you she's pregnant. Just feels like a bleeping power trip and surely you'd have the common sense to know that putting in a random chat with someone is going to make them nervous!
Sweet Karma
I have one colleague who is regimented on her calorie intake for every day, if she has had a coffee she cant have another without redoing her whole days intake. Whatever she seems happy with it.
But now she has decided everyone needs to eat clean and go for walks at lunchtime so that we are working better.
A load of them are all oh you are so right lets do this. I just ignored the messages as I do not want my work telling me what I can and cant eat.
She actually approached me at my desk and loudly asked why I was not joining in. The implication being that if anyone needed it its me. I told her I wasnt interested and ended the conversation.
To say I feel uncomfortable eating at work is an understatement.
And they wonder why I prefer working from home.
But now she has decided everyone needs to eat clean and go for walks at lunchtime so that we are working better.
A load of them are all oh you are so right lets do this. I just ignored the messages as I do not want my work telling me what I can and cant eat.
She actually approached me at my desk and loudly asked why I was not joining in. The implication being that if anyone needed it its me. I told her I wasnt interested and ended the conversation.
To say I feel uncomfortable eating at work is an understatement.
And they wonder why I prefer working from home.
I work in (non healthcare) public sector and our manager is still pressuring us to keep wearing masks. There's no reason for this beyond him being personally terrified of Covid. I'm not a Covid denier but I draw the line at wearing those things on the hottest day of the bleeping year when nowhere else is requiring them. There's legally nothing he can do to force the issue but I'm pissed off about being put in this position!
Could I ask for some advice on an annoying colleague related issue?
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
This lady, who I have never met, works in a similar, yet different department to me. We need to communicate, which is fine but at the moment she keeps replying to emails, which I am copied in to telling me it is one for me to sort or can you do this etc. This woman is not my manager, and although I understand she wants these things done, I am a grown adult capable of reading my own emails and taking action. Is there a polite way of telling her to stop it? My inbox is so confusing because I will deal with an issue, and then have her a few emails up sending me a 'can you do this please' message for no reason
Can you suggest a 15 min phone catch up twice a week around what needs to be done?
Otherwise just thank her for her input but you will do the tasks as they arise, and would appreciate a reduction in email traffic to assist with managing your inbox and will contact her if you need to discuss anything specific?
Perhaps tell her you're trying to avoid double handling so please can she not forward anything you've already been cc'd in to.
In my experience people who do this have been pulled up for missing things they have been cc'd in to. So she probably thinks she's doing you a favour.
That's so annoying. Tell her in a polite email that you are trying to reduce unnecessary/unproductive email traffic as a way of working more efficiently, and that you would appreciate not being forwarded emails that you've already been copied in to.
If she isn't effectively dishing out work to you over and above your normal and just reminding you of your job then I'd send her an email something like
Pamela, thanks for these but you really don't need to email me about tasks. I see the tasks coming in and work through them.
That way, it doesn't turn it into a THING.
I could get my friend to hurl a mouse at her ? lol
I work in a school with someone who speaks to everyone like tit. Today she was talking loudly about me having pink sheets of paper. After her third passive aggressive comment I said that I had found them in the stock room. She shouted at me 'THE PINK PAPER IS FOR BEST!'. I said I didnt know that but I do now. She's unhinged and all of the children are scared of her.
She sounds concerningly illiterate for someone working in a classroom.
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