Annoying things your work colleagues do all the time? #3

[emmer_moans]

Ok .. hear me out . I took time off after my mum died and I can finally talk about her death without crying. Some colleagues won't just stop at Hi ,how are you . They keep going on and on to the point where I burst into tears and it seems they enjoy that element of making me sad so they can feel special by comforting me .

They aren't even close colleagues . A friend observed this recently & after the other person had left said they were on the verge of telling them to duck off because it was blatant goading.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice for people to ask how you are but that's where it should stop .

If it happens again I'd try to say something like, please, it's still a heartbreaking discussion topic for me, can I politely request people not to ask me how I am regarding this, any further.

Or is there a manager you can have a quick word with who can send an email or speak to the colleagues quietly and say look, don't bring up this on conversation please. This happened at my old job where a lady was so excited about marrying her long distance fiancee abroad, we all heard about all the details of her wedding plans, hobeymoon location, etc. She took a month off to go get married and honeymoon. When she came back she was absolutely in pieces and an email went round to us all saying she'd been jilted and please don't mention it or her time away.

It's a difficult one but worth considering if people keep prodding you. And to be honest I was grateful to be told not to ask, so that I wouldn't accidentally upset her.

 

[TheGlossy]

Clingy coworkers who keep pestering you to chat.

The coworker I mentioned above keeps pestering me every morning as soon as I log in to chat. I get a “Hey, morning” then if I don’t respond, I get a “Hey, how are you” a few hours later.

I’m swamped with deadlines and this person is on their way out, so I doubt they need any help from me since we don’t really have any work in common.

I’m super friendly but clinginess drives me up the wall.

 

[bcfc999]

@TheGlossy that's given me flashbacks to being a teen on msn messenger. This guy in my friend group would IMMEDIATELY pop up the second any of us girls signed in with "hi, wuu2?" - and if you ignored him he'd just keep messaging you "hi, wuu2?" every five minutes until you responded. Weirdly the guys told us he didn't do that with them! He'd always try and make you play stupid games too like would you rather, or there was another one I can't for the life of me remember. It was especially annoying because unless he wanted you to play one of the games, your conversation would just be:
Hi, wuu2?
Hi, wuu2?
Hi, wuu2?
Hi, nm u?
Haha
(half hour silence)
Wuu2 now?
Nm u?
Nm haha
(half hour silence)
G2g bi

 

[Dishthedirt2021]

@TheGlossy that's given me flashbacks to being a teen on msn messenger. This guy in my friend group would IMMEDIATELY pop up the second any of us girls signed in with "hi, wuu2?" - and if you ignored him he'd just keep messaging you "hi, wuu2?" every five minutes until you responded. Weirdly the guys told us he didn't do that with them! He'd always try and make you play stupid games too like would you rather, or there was another one I can't for the life of me remember. It was especially annoying because unless he wanted you to play one of the games, your conversation would just be:
Hi, wuu2?
Hi, wuu2?
Hi, wuu2?
Hi, nm u?
Haha
(half hour silence)
Wuu2 now?
Nm u?
Nm haha
(half hour silence)
G2g bi

Oh this was a blast from the past! I used to hit them with “brb” and then signed out haha

also, in other news, the most problematic colleague in our office is off sick and the atmosphere is SO different. i thought it was just me that felt stifled and as though I’m walking on egg shells around her but the other girls in the office (we are a small team of 4, including me) are so much more relaxed and outgoing without her there. They are like different people! So clearly, she has a negative effect on us all. We might be running at reduced capacity without her there and it’s stressful but it’s so much better and easier to cope with said stress without her presence. Fingers crossed she stays off sick a while longer lol. She’s a nasty bully! But best mates with our boss so I’m reluctant to say anything. In fact, I haven’t brought up how she makes me feel with anyone at work out of fear they will tell her.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Ive been paired with a massive gossip monger at work she tries to create some drama if there isn't any. Its driving me nuts. Someone asked me to print some documents for them earlier and she tried to spin it that they had problems at home so didn't have time to print them! Now that we are paired she thinks she owns me. I cannot talk to anyone without her staring at me and then being desperate to find out what we've talked about.

 

[Rxt156]

Ive been paired with a massive gossip monger at work she tries to create some drama if there isn't any. Its driving me nuts. Someone asked me to print some documents for them earlier and she tried to spin it that they had problems at home so didn't have time to print them! Now that we are paired she thinks she owns me. I cannot talk to anyone without her staring at me and then being desperate to find out what we've talked about.

Oh god. F that. If you don’t lay down the law soon you will have to put up with this shizzle forever. You’ll have to leave. Or die

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Oh god. F that. If you don’t lay down the law soon you will have to put up with this shizzle forever. You’ll have to leave. Or die

I'm maternity cover so at least it's not forever

 

[Rxt156]

I'm maternity cover so at least it's not forever

Thank goodnesssss!!!!

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Thank goodnesssss!!!!

Any tips on laying the law down if it gets worse?

 

[Rxt156]

Any tips on laying the law down if it gets worse?

O god I really am not good with things like this. I’m either:
Too straight talking and offensive OR quite vague so the bad situation continues as I’m not quite clear enough

If she’s gossiping you could say something to shut it down and end the conversation. Eg if she says “have you heard the news about X” You can say nah I’m not really bothered anyway or something very casual that isn’t rude but shows you aren’t bothered.

On the printing thing - who cares why the person can’t print the documents ?!!!If someone says a ridiculous thing I just repeat it to them so they can hear it. Often they realise the stupidness

 

[shadowcat5]

Any tips on laying the law down if it gets worse?

disengage and keep smiling but don’t give her any ammo. When I say disengage, I mean seriously disengage but keep it friendly and cheery at all times.

E.g
her: “what were you and x talking about?”
You: “oh nothing important” *cheery voice*

her: “you know x can’t do this because Mercury is in retrograde/their aunts goldfish died/insert other probably exaggerated crap”
You: “okay…. So *insert something work related*”

it sounds so ridiculous but it’s the only way they drop it or shut up. If you give them even a morsel of an inch they will run with it.

 

[Ensay]

People who are lucky enough to only be working on one project, or two small projects, who fail to realise that some of us have a much bigger workload than they do, hence we can't just drop everything at a moment's notice to help them with their so called "urgent" meeting or query.

People who know a lot less than they think they do, yet still dominate meetings with their mostly useless views.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I have a colleague who is a wet blanket and constantly tells us he’s not well, when a) he looks absolutely a-okay and b) he’ll also slip up and tell us about some japes he got up to whilst also being sick… like when he somehow managed to hike 32 miles with his mates on a Saturday having a lovely time whilst being off work with flu Friday - Monday and then says “by the way, I’m still not feeling quite right” okay….

 

[square_spoon]

Constantly say 'good job' or 'well done' or either consistently over apologise/over praise when you're literally just doing your job

 

[ChastityDingle]

I have a colleague who is a wet blanket and constantly tells us he’s not well, when a) he looks absolutely a-okay and b) he’ll also slip up and tell us about some japes he got up to whilst also being sick… like when he somehow managed to hike 32 miles with his mates on a Saturday having a lovely time whilst being off work with flu Friday - Monday and then says “by the way, I’m still not feeling quite right” okay….

I used to work with a guy who played a bit of sport, and would regularly arrive into the office on a Monday with an injury, usually a limp. One of the women in the office used to claim that he often forgot which leg he had supposedly injured and would switch the limp from right to left or vice versa, in the course of the day

 

[chocolatepanda6]

This whole wfh thing . I work in public sector and one guy posted on our teams chat by mistake about what movies he was watching , he also seems to have do nip out constantly with his kids . He is married I just don’t get why this is allowed he doesn’t work by his finish time ever as he’s always posting about stopping early on a Friday for a drink . Another colleague left work at 1030 on an office day as she wanted to be at home with her kid ? When I’m wfh I’m scared to even nip out to the bins in case anyone looks for me yet my colleagues at the moment seem to treat work as an optional extra with their children being priority . How the hell did they cope with childcare pre wfh ?

 

[Rodneytrotter]

I'm a teacher and I had a massive go at my boss (the headteacher) today. She deserved it. Stupid cow.

 

[square_spoon]

This whole wfh thing . I work in public sector and one guy posted on our teams chat by mistake about what movies he was watching , he also seems to have do nip out constantly with his kids . He is married I just don’t get why this is allowed he doesn’t work by his finish time ever as he’s always posting about stopping early on a Friday for a drink . Another colleague left work at 1030 on an office day as she wanted to be at home with her kid ? When I’m wfh I’m scared to even nip out to the bins in case anyone looks for me yet my colleagues at the moment seem to treat work as an optional extra with their children being priority . How the hell did they cope with childcare pre wfh ?

I think when emergency WFH started (at the height of the pandemic), a lot of people had their kids at home and it created this idea for them that it was acceptable for them to WFH and look after their kids at the same time, when really it was an emergency pandemic response. Now the lines are blurred they're content to keep doing it thinking it's totally fine, and most employers are terrified to push back because they're not sure what's reasonable or legal. I've heard of people bragging about how much they're saving on childcare by taking their kids out of childminding and having them at home while they're WFH while their colleagues continue to come to work. I'm not saying working parents don't work as hard as anyone else in principle but there's a more pronounced air of p*ss taking now that WFH has become more common place.

 

[petitspois]

I think some of it is having kids that are too old for childcare but are still in the house after 4pm

 

[TheGlossy]

I’m the only female in the team and my manager makes it a point to undermine me. If someone asks me a question, he starts answering for me and when there’s a round table, he always makes it a point to for me to be the last to speak. Then when I ask specific questions in team meetings, he makes it a point to not answer my question and delve into an unrelated point and I have always find myself having to recanted him to the original question.