Annoying things your work colleagues do all the time? #3

[JustmeKC]

I'd say it's up to each companies own policy

Yup, I’ve worked for lots of different types of firms and they have different policies around this. Plus they can’t make you pay for something you didn’t agree to pay for in any way shape or form. I had training worth around €5,000 in my last role that they wanted me to do and they could not claim any of the costs back from me when I left. In my current role, I have an education agreement which contains a clawback if I leave before a certain date in relation to a €3,000 course I am doing. Lots of companies tend not to bother anyway but it does depend on the company and the relationship at the time in many cases.

There is no such policy in my company as I had asked HR a few months ago as a team member is interested in doing a professional qualification. They said the policy is still being drafted and it hasnt been circulated Mine is a very short course - 2 days.



Is a course on managing people. I currently have a team of 4 but in the roles I am applying for some have direct reports and others dont. It would be a good course to do but I dont mind if I do it or not.

Unless they have an agreement with you that you will pay if you leave, they can’t charge you for it.

 

[tortfeasor]

…About six months into me working there people suddenly started giving me the cold shoulder. I earn extremely good bonus from an account I brought with me from my previous employment. Turns out that she discovered she had access to a part of the system that showed who got paid what. It wasn't until one day she started gossiping to me about what people got paid. And then the penny dropped....she had also gossiped to the rest of the team what I was getting paid. People weren't happy that I was earning as much as I was. She actually told me that that was why people were being off with me…

That’s appalling! They need to get their act together, small independent company or not, as that’s a data protection breach. She had no right to tell other people what your salary is or what anyone else’s salary is and sounds like she’d accessed the information without a proper reason. In most places I’ve worked you’d be sacked for doing something like that.

Agreed. It blows my mind in 2022 that some people still devote their entire being to work and can't fathom that a person has other priorities outside of work. I say this all the time, but has the pandemic not shown people the light on this? We're all only a number and completely replaceable. The corporate wheel will keep turning whether any individual is on it or off it. How is prioritising work over recovering from surgery, grieving the loss of a loved one, taking care of their children or indeed their mental health a wise approach? Any management worth their salt gets this and encourages valued employees to have a balanced approach to work and personal life.

It’s not healthy. These sort of people are at some point in for the shock of their lives. My mother and stepfather worked for the same company for a while and had a middle manager who despite being married with kids lived and breathed the company and was really bad about people being a tiny bit late because of problems with the school run, that sort of thing. He was all for the company. When he was made redundant he completely went off the wagon.
One of Mum’s colleagues now has been with their employer for 20 years and the colleague has been used to being held in very high regard, works ridiculously long hours, expects the same of her reports even though they’re only allowed to carry over a maximum of a day’s flexi per month. Well in the last 2 years they’ve reorganised the team and hired new senior people who have more specialist knowledge and it sounds like Mum’s colleague feels completely lost and had a bit of a meltdown 2 weeks ago, saying she no longer feels she’s welcome etc.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

This happened at my husband's old job. The MD (small business) employed a 'random' man into a management role that didn't previously exist. They had a different surname so for months, noone knew. Until someone found out the guy was the MD's son in law!! With no appropriate qualifications for the role He was hopeless (but never called out on it), and noone trusted him or the MD after that.


Ugh I feel for you. I got lumbered with written warning once for daring to mutter to a colleague about a project not working (it was a shambles). Apparently I was being negative and impacting morale. All I had done was utter an opinion to a colleague I thought felt the same but they effing shopped me. I managed to get it down to a verbal warning as they tried to skip several HR stages just to harass me. It would have been a different issue if I had shouted it to the whole room but it was literally only a frustrated whispered moan to a colleague after a very challenging day. I looked for a job after that. Workplaces need to allow for some feedback or allow employees to have a private moan with colleagues. We are human. Places that stamp on you for having a discreet opinion are the worst.

Years ago I got a warning too for daring to suggest that a reading test my year 1 pupils were being forced to do was pointless. (It was pointless and not mandatory at all). I'm never actually negative at work but I did feel it was wasting the children's time and didnt actually provide feedback on their reading abilities. It's just frustrating when you could spend those hours doing something useful like actually teaching

I do as I'm told and keep my opinions to myself these days!

 

[TheGlossy]

Some people need to stop airing their dirty laundry (or disagreements) in calls where part of the audience has no involvement in whatever drama happened between them. I was dragged into a call hat had nothing to do with me but they wanted me as "backup". Then two people on the call literally started arguing with each other with person A saying "you're imposing your work onto other people, things you can do yourself" then it went on with person B responding "I'm not imposing anything, I'm asking for something" and person A retorquing "You're not asking, you're demanding and we don't have capacity to cater to your every demand. If you want to escalate to the department head, please do so. We can take this up with HR".

Now, I have to agree that the person "accused" of demanding things has been the rudest, most egoistical person to deal with and they have a strong tendency to dodge their work onto other people. Some people even raised complaints about this. However, the call wasn't about this and I wasted an hour on a call that a) was not relevant to me b) was unprofessional with people airing their dirty laundry.

 

[House of Tea]

Thank you so much. You’ve made me feel sane honestly, I haven’t really had anyone to discuss this with as my friends have all gone down different career routes so not all of them have experience in an office and I feel like you have to be in this environment to understand, otherwise it sounds a bit silly. I thought I was being over dramatic and it was all in my head a bit tbh because no one else seems to have an issue with her.

I did start to dress down and stop speaking aswell, I come to work and I leave. I used to dress so nice and make an effort now I just don’t give a fuck, no one even says good morning most days so why would I bother. But I will start again, I’m not gonna let her ruin my confidence. And you’re right thank fuck I’m not her, I feel for whoever has to be managed by her when I leave. I did discuss this with my nail lady a few months ago (massive oversharer lol) but she said definitely draft up an email along with my notice when I leave describing what I’ve been putting up with, or perhaps organising a meeting with my bosses boss as she is quite high up and won’t tolerate that I’m sure. I cant see them cutting into budget to hire someone new once I go if this is how she treats her team anyway.

ill take what you said on board and write down any incidents, thank you again hopefully update when I have a new job!

Yes, only do things for you. Dress up how you like. Most people offer an exit interview, perhaps that would be a good place to tell of your experiences. Play it by ear. Once you leave this place, leave it firmly behind. You can learn from every experience, and this has given you a taster of what is and isn’t acceptable or professional. And use the time you have left in that hole to learn as much as you can. If there are online courses. Are there any shadowing opportunities. Anything to help you basically either by learning new stuff or removing yourself from her orbit. Good luck with the job hunting. (Sorry, if I am going on, but when you go for interviews for new jobs, don’t badmouth this lot if they ask you why you are leaving your present job.)

 

[nicalibres]

We used to have a woman who worked at my place for a few months. And most of us on breaks sat in the canteen on our phones, occasionally chatting. But she stared and constantly talked to the room just expecting us to pay attention and respond. Like you can see we're on our phones, we don't want to chat, especially when she talked the most inane waffle ever. So glad she left.

This is exactly what she does! She’s the type who talks at you, not to you. It’s so draining.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Replying to a full company email when it´s not necessary. People are replying to all just to confirm they´ve paid the deposit... WHY?! Email privately! I´ve had 3 emails so far just saying 'paid'. I DONT CARE

I actually wonder if some people are THAT stupid that they don't know how to answer to just one person, instead of sending their answer to ALL . (It happens in a group I'm in also, not work related. Some of us seem to understand how to reply only to the sender... )

Used to be on a social committee for work, years ago, and a guy on it used to address his emails to one person, and cc the rest of us. Minor annoyance, but I pointed it out. He claimed it was accidental or that he didn't know any other way to do it. But he stopped doing it. I think he thought he and she were the most important or something. They were both workshy anyway both for work and social events.

And while I'm on an email rant, cc-ing people who don't need to be cc'd. Stop it.

 

[Black.bird]

Being called "Dear" by a colleague pisses me off immensely. I asked her to please call me by my name and I think I offended her! To my ear, it sounds patronising. Plus, in a work environment it's unprofessional. The lady who does it is helping us with some things on a temporary basis, and also calls some of our younger team members "Lassie" which they don't appreciate. I don't think she means anything by doing it; she's just one of these lovely, airy-fairy type ladies who wants to be friends with everyone (she is so, so lovely).

We had a client visit this morning unexpectedly so I quickly printed off what we wanted to present to her, and decided to bind it to make it look the best it could at short notice ... only to find that someone "helpfully" punched holes in all the binding clear covers, but none of the holes were straight, and some were punched through to the edge ... making them unusable. So bloody annoying! I created a workaround by affixing a length of washi tape (an amazing find in itself) down the side (front and back), and repunching it ... our client loves frilly and sparkly things and loved it - yay!

I was feeling quite proud of myself until I asked the (one and only) grumpy woman in our office to please order some more ... of course she went to the stationery room to see how many we had left as she "only bought some just the other month" ... and suggested we could just make do with the botched-up ones. Yeah, nah ... not in my world lady.

 

[Some People!]

AL isn't allowed? What if you legitimately needed it off for something personal? To be honest I'd rather work anyway, the day they choose is usually about 3 days before we break up for Christmas (i work in admin in the higher education sector, so we do get lucky in that respect). It's always at a time when i have mega deadlines before Christmas so it's inconvenient to go for lunch at that time anyway.

I'm in HE too - I'd far rather be working for both miserybollocks reasons and, as you say, there are all sorts of loose ends need sorting before the break.

AL must surely be allowed in extenuating circumstances, but I've never had mine be approved. They tell us all in like, May when it will be to give people with caring responsibilities time to sort out their inconvenient lives.
I work just under FT and if this 'do' falls on my non-working day, I have to swap my shit about to accommodate it.

SO. MUCH. FUN.

 

[HoGi]

Then you go and set up a read receipt and amend your email title to "IMPORTANT" or "PLEASE READ".

You have to treat your employees like adults. This phrasing and request to me infantilizes your reports. Calling people out for doing something incorrect is fine, but it is all about the way the email is phrased. You can assert your authority without having such tone. Besides, responding: "Read and understood" is hardly going to prevent mistakes. It might make people more diligent on a particular item, but it won't prevent issues.

Oh I totally agree. I hate it when people treat employees/colleagues like kids and micromanagement etc.

But I equally hate sending emails that I know are just ignored regardless of how important you make it look.

ETA when it is soemthing directly affecting my team I tend to just book in a call so i have said it to their face. But when it's all department etc it sometimes feels like you might as well not send the email.

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

Had one of those in my last place. She was so controlling that she let a new admin go for printing too much She had to put her stamp on everything that came through her department and had to put her two cents in any everything that went on in the company. How utterly draining.

I used to work for a company that had a lot of culture issues that stemmed from the top. One of my jobs was to update risks and issues registers, which I printed in colour so you could see the red, amber and green status. I was reprimanded for printing six copies x 6 pages for a steering committee meeting. Um ... if they weren't in colour, nobody would be able to see what rating they were at! I identified a workaround by typing 'red,' 'amber,' and 'green,' but the complainer had an issue with that too. I'm not really sure what else she expected?

Ironically, she was often in on the weekends printing her son's university assignments in colour!

Someone needs to tell these people they are legally entitled to annual leave also

They sound like martyrs who think the place can't survive without them there all the time.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Is she actually your manager? If not, get your manager involved. That's no way to have to live, I'm sorry.

Yes she is my manager, our boss is very weak unfortunately. Im going to say something tomorrow x

 

[Mamacita]

The woman who sits next to me quite literally never shuts up. She’s constantly talking to anyone and everyone at the loudest possible volume or phoning colleagues in other teams to have a gossip then when people inevitably get fed up, she starts talking to herself . Like doing a running commentary throughout her day, eg ‘I’ll finish x, then I’ll go to the toilet and then make a start on y’. Every single day!

Meanwhile, I’m rocking back and forth in my chair praying for silence.

Noise cancelling headphones might be the answer at this point

 

[Rxt156]

I had this in my previous job too. Mine was a slightly higher grade, she didn't manage me directly but she wanted to. She was very controlling and political about my work and what projects I had access to. I ended up leaving partly because of her, but she did me a favour in the long run as I have a better job now. Its very curious that most of the cases of micro management mentioned here seem to be carried out by other women

I typed something similar about women in charge but deleted it . Totally agree with you. Women in senior positions don’t always separate emotion from the job

 

[IridescentLipstick]

@ItsMeMelZ This is a real problem at my office too. I manage a small team and we recently inherited a project and a new director has been appointed over it. He's keen to make a splash with the senior management team and he is doing so. He's highly efficient, drives results and got up to speed with the company and project quicker than anyone anticipated, however he is majorly lacking in soft skills which is having an impact of my teams morale. Most of my team are junior and although they are the bread and butter operationally they lack the strategic insight and frankly salary to work and the pace he would like. He doesn't seem to be able to flex his communication style to different levels throughout the project, nor does he understand that a junior admin is not as invested as he is so he obviously needs to be a leader and be patient and provide guidance and praise where its due. He never says thanks, he questions everything curtly. He doesn't acknowledge the work that goes into meeting prep or reports he just curtly responds with his desired changes. I've mentioned it to my boss, who doesn't want to address it for fear for it will knock him off his stride. I don't see how anyone can make it to that level if they only do well working with people at their level and above. There should be mandatory training for managing people and communication styles whether or not you have direct reports.

 

[Timz]

Annoying things my work colleagues do: talk about me!! We've gone through a LOT of changes in the last year and while my immediate colleagues will bitch and gripe about stuff in our own office, I'm the only one who will do something about them/admit to being anxious or annoyed about things if asked by people higher up. Now I've noticed if someone is anxious about something and voices it, they'll go "well bcfc999 is worried about this" and act as if *they* have no problem with chronic uncertainty, it's just me. Sorry no how about learn to either live with things or try and do something about them??

I have this same issue about others taking my issues about work, like it’s criticism - but it’s about their chaotic organisational skills or missing info. Recently I voiced my concerns about a new data system in our open plan office, and my line manager called me up in it with an ad hoc meeting online after she was away for 2 weeks . She said I was being negative and encouraged blame culture, I said they do the same and gave recent examples. I believe my line manager was having side conversations about me. Even before and after a team meeting! I’m on leave now for two weeks. A few times I’ve been tempted to write an anonymous company review but thought I’ll save the vitriol it’s not worth it! I just look forward to being away from them. There’s a night out the week I come back, pretension of a “happy family reunion” between wider colleagues. I’m not going now, not said yet, and I know they’ll talk about me so I don’t care anymore! I’ve got better things to do. The great thing is the two new guys also notice how confusing these colleagues are, and they can’t vent either. I just be sarcastic and say it’s like 1984, or welcome to Communism! “I’ve been told don’t be negative”

 

[fredster2018]

Hi all

I have just stumbled across this thread…it’s great and reading them really resonates a lot with me.

I work from home a lot in my job, I work in social care so I have a lot of professional meetings via teams which I organise.

I hate how some senior members of staff treat you like their bitch, look down on you and don’t pick up anything that’s “beneath them” in particular in my job if someone cannot attend a meeting I have organised I would pass this decline on to my senior / chair of the meeting to make them aware. One senior member of staff in particular would always send me a big long email telling me why this person needs to attend, then ask me to email them and tell them why they need to attend and to send someone else, when they could have just gone directly to that person and asked them themselves and just copied me in?!?

I found myself just amending their email (which they suggested!!) to make it sound like it was coming from me, it was wasting my time and there is only me that does what I do, so can you imagine if I had to do that all the time if someone declined along with everything else I do …. so now when someone says they cannot attend I reply to them to say thanks for letting me know, copy this particular senior in and say can you please advise if this meeting can go a head with an update or does this need to be rearranged. And you know what they’ve started to respond back to them directly and copy me in.

I know I may come across as a little petty, I do work really hard and I hope people don’t think I am being lazy however this particular senior member of staff is still doing exactly the same in sending their big long email it’s just not going to me to amend and send.

 

[emmer_moans]

I hosted a call today and right off the bat my manager hijacked the bat as if it were his call and said “I wanted to have the call to discuss blah blah” and monopolized the group call I suggested I schedule to discuss this project I’m initiating.

The call was my idea and I had a specific agenda. I scheduled it based on the work If done and he completely took ownership of it acting as if I was his secretary who had just scheduled the call to facilitate his life.

When the call finished, I politely told him I didn’t like the way the call was handled because I scheduled it with a specific agenda and I wasn’t even given the opportunity to speak. He monopolized from the first 30s, the call I organized and just asked me at the end “TheGlossy, any questions?”. Then when I confronted him, he was like “I was just trying to help”. He complained during my mid review I was the quiet one (which I’m not) and even when I give myself a platform to speak, they shut me down.

I was about to combust I had to tell him I didn’t like how this call was handled. If someone scheduled their own call with their own agenda, how dare you act as if you’re the actual host and say “I wanted to have this call to discuss XYZ” and relay theto attendee with no voice. He undermined me entirely.

He was shocked when I told him this to his face politely, but I had to. It was rude and unprofessional. At this point, I don’t care if it what I say lands well given the disrespectful BS I was put through in the last while.

Apologies … I feel I’m monopolizing this thread, but there is so much to complain about in this job. Looking forward to moving teams.

He sounds like a Grade A misogynist. Bet he doesn't do this to other men. Count down the days, TheGlossy!

 

[ChastityDingle]

Fish & eggs should be banned from communal environments

Definitely!

 

[Lalla]

I hate that too. I found that working from home reduced it because it took more effort, whereas in the office it’s easier for people to launch themselves at you as you stand up to leave a meeting room, following you all the way back to your desk while babbling on.

I get that it’s sometimes useful but usually it’s not. I tend to want some peace after a meeting rather than more talking.

Oh it was definitely worse in the office...this particular colleague (on more than one occasion) followed people out of a meeting room, not only to their desk but to the kitchen area or at least once into the loo.

It was better at first WFH til people cottoned on to calling on Teams. Now I can't get rid of them! Still, long weekend coming up!