Annoying things your work colleagues do all the time? #3

[Tanne1999]

Our HR manager is so far up her arse, it’s unbelievable. I’m convinced they’re having an affair, they have cringey nicknames for each other and are constantly finding excuses to get out of the office together during the working day.

Our HR manager also doesn’t like me because I’m tattooed, have colourful hair, and don’t offer to make cups of tea several times a day - this being because I don’t drink hot drinks generally.

There is definitely a lot of favouritism in this place. There’s only 4 of us in office, and the lads in the warehouse attached. Me and the accounts lady are definitely not in the same circle as our manager and the HR fellow.

 

[Bianca Del Rio]

A failure to prepare on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine

Consider this line stolen. It’s genius.

 

[Spoke]

Could you contact ACAS and ask for their support?

 

[JustmeKC]

Our HR manager is so far up her arse, it’s unbelievable. I’m convinced they’re having an affair, they have cringey nicknames for each other and are constantly finding excuses to get out of the office together during the working day.

Our HR manager also doesn’t like me because I’m tattooed, have colourful hair, and don’t offer to make cups of tea several times a day - this being because I don’t drink hot drinks generally.

There is definitely a lot of favouritism in this place. There’s only 4 of us in office, and the lads in the warehouse attached. Me and the accounts lady are definitely not in the same circle as our manager and the HR fellow.

The HR manager not liking you doesn’t mean it’s ok for them to support homophobia. Keeping a complaint in email form is a good idea here as you can forward to others if it’s not dealt with to your satisfaction. People are allowed to have their views, they aren’t allowed to make you feel like tit in work over them.

 

[Samf2020]

So my new "team mate" who still refuses to interact in any way with me and other colleague didnt tell me that she received the equipment I sourced for her.
Im contacting the supplier asking for an update, and they say she got it 3 weeks ago.
I asked her if that was true and she said she told the manager. And I will bet a months wages she would have said to let me know it was here.
I had to apologise to supplier but feel like her point blank refusing to acknowledge me has soured my previously great relationship with them.
I cant bear to be in a room with her anymore.
Other team mate is thinking of leaving just to get away from the awful atmosphere she has created.

 

[mee43]

Yet again today, my manager did a complete u turn on something they decided on weeks ago, which meant I had to redo a lot of work I’ve done following the previous procedure.
I’d have no problem if they said they’d had a rethink on the matter and acknowledged that. Instead, not for the first time, they denied that the previous conversation happened
They then stopped a colleague from doing a particular job because that was my job. Even though said colleague has virtually nothing to do and I get new jobs dumped on me all the time.
It’s the weirdest place. I’m not sure I can stick it to be honest.
@Messychaotic - one word - maybe we work in the same place without realising

 

[Heidi88]

This isnt specifically work related but I am looking for a new job and I am dealing wirh 4 different recruitment agencies. I am upfront with them that i have applied for multiple roles. When they ask for details two of them begin putting down the other roles. Its so frustrating. I am waiting to hear back on one role that I had a 2nd round interview. One recruiter in particularly is saying I will never work in a multi national again if I take this job as its with a smaller company despite the fact that he has also put me forward for roles in smaller companies.

His role is in a different area to my main area of experience and I said I'm not sure on this and he keeps pushing it saying the interviewers were impressed and wouldnt progress you if they didnt find you capable of it.

 

[freezelouise43]

Hi all (new to this thread) I was after some advice…I’ve worked at my place for 3 years. I would describe myself as an extroverted introvert in that in small social circles I’m bubbly and friendly but in large groups I physically shrink away and I can’t abide over familiar, bossy loud people. In my last team i wasn’t happy, they were very loud and constantly trying to organise social events. I ended up basically being a lone wolf and not going because after the first couple I realised I would end up in the corner whilst they all got drunk (I don’t drink). I enjoyed that role and even though I got the best results in my team I was overlooked for a promotion in favour of someone with less skills but more of a people person. I have a couple of close friends at work that do “get” me.
Anyway, I recently moved teams into a smaller all female team and im finding the opposite issue! It’s very cliquey, they will sit and chat and either arrange things and invite me as an after thought or just exclude me from conversations that aren’t work related. Today in my 1-1 my boss asked why I’ve declined to go to the company event next month and I didn’t want to tell her the reason. I just don’t feel comfortable, everyone will be drunk and it’s not really my scene.
i feel like im a round peg in a square hole- help!

 

[theweekend]

This isnt specifically work related but I am looking for a new job and I am dealing wirh 4 different recruitment agencies. I am upfront with them that i have applied for multiple roles. When they ask for details two of them begin putting down the other roles. Its so frustrating. I am waiting to hear back on one role that I had a 2nd round interview. One recruiter in particularly is saying I will never work in a multi national again if I take this job as its with a smaller company despite the fact that he has also put me forward for roles in smaller companies.

His role is in a different area to my main area of experience and I said I'm not sure on this and he keeps pushing it saying the interviewers were impressed and wouldnt progress you if they didnt find you capable of it.

Ugh, this. Recruiters are literally scum, you’re nothing but a paycheque to them and they’re so slimy and forceful.

E.g. when I was job hunting I turned down two recruiters on the roles they were grafting me for, one because he lied re the salary on the job listing and the other because it was too far away and the salary was again too low. Instead of just accepting this like normal human beings, both of them lectured me saying my expectations were too high, I would never get the salary I wanted (& I’m now on £4k more ) etc etc and how I actually needed to go for their roles.

As a person I’m able to stand my ground but even I found it difficult dealing with them, they are SO pushy and overfamiliar it’s a joke. You’re not alone! Tbh my advice is just to ghost them where you can - they are not your friends, definitely don’t have your best interests at heart (I mean how can you flat out tell someone you don’t want a job and they try to tell you that you DO, and they’re all like this!) and wouldn’t think twice about doing it to you.

 

[Justwishfulthinking]

This isnt specifically work related but I am looking for a new job and I am dealing wirh 4 different recruitment agencies. I am upfront with them that i have applied for multiple roles. When they ask for details two of them begin putting down the other roles. Its so frustrating. I am waiting to hear back on one role that I had a 2nd round interview. One recruiter in particularly is saying I will never work in a multi national again if I take this job as its with a smaller company despite the fact that he has also put me forward for roles in smaller companies.

His role is in a different area to my main area of experience and I said I'm not sure on this and he keeps pushing it saying the interviewers were impressed and wouldnt progress you if they didnt find you capable of it.

They are whist trying to what bills them the most in a month. Sounds like your gut instinct is kicking in here x

 

[shadowcat5]

Hi all (new to this thread) I was after some advice…I’ve worked at my place for 3 years. I would describe myself as an extroverted introvert in that in small social circles I’m bubbly and friendly but in large groups I physically shrink away and I can’t abide over familiar, bossy loud people. In my last team i wasn’t happy, they were very loud and constantly trying to organise social events. I ended up basically being a lone wolf and not going because after the first couple I realised I would end up in the corner whilst they all got drunk (I don’t drink). I enjoyed that role and even though I got the best results in my team I was overlooked for a promotion in favour of someone with less skills but more of a people person. I have a couple of close friends at work that do “get” me.
Anyway, I recently moved teams into a smaller all female team and im finding the opposite issue! It’s very cliquey, they will sit and chat and either arrange things and invite me as an after thought or just exclude me from conversations that aren’t work related. Today in my 1-1 my boss asked why I’ve declined to go to the company event next month and I didn’t want to tell her the reason. I just don’t feel comfortable, everyone will be drunk and it’s not really my scene.
i feel like im a round peg in a square hole- help!

going through the exact same thing at the moment. They aren't 'bitchy' really it's just awkward cause they've known each other for a lot longer. It's hard to explain but it's like trying to penetrate concrete sometimes. It's not all female but the guys are involved in their circle. Tbh I actually feel like I'm back at school as an outcast again.

 

[CatCafe234]

going through the exact same thing at the moment. They aren't 'bitchy' really it's just awkward cause they've known each other for a lot longer. It's hard to explain but it's like trying to penetrate concrete sometimes. It's not all female but the guys are involved in their circle. Tbh I actually feel like I'm back at school as an outcast again.

Of all the things that have disappointed me about adult life (and there are many …) the fact that work is just like school is probably one of the worst. I cannot stand workplace cliques and I don’t think I’ve ever worked in a place that doesn’t have them.

There’s always that moment when you realise that you’ll probably never really progress somewhere simply because your face doesn’t fit and no matter how hard you work or how much you take on, you’re never going to be part of that ‘in’ group who seem to float though the workplace and get a promotion every six months without really doing anything. It’s like being back at secondary school and having that realisation that it doesn’t matter how often they ask you for help with their homework, you are never, ever going to be allowed to be one of the cool kids. So much talent and ability gets wasted in the workplace when it is cliquish - companies wonder why they have issues when they literally have a string of people who I’ll only promote people who are exactly like them …

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

The square peg in a round hole is akin to my situation as well.

I'm leaving soon - have given my notice but have to work it out which seems forever away - and I've been frozen out. It's so silly. People who used to say a friendly, "Hello" to me in passing now avoid me. The woman who sits next to me spends her day sighing, tut-tutting and saying, "Oh my God," under her breath - it really gets under my skin! She's miserable too - actually, I think a lot of people are, but they're too scared to put the feelers out to find something else.

At our "drinks" everyone just sits around the rectangular-shaped table staring at each other ... one or two people will strike up a conversation but most people sit there looking at their feet. It's so bizarre!

 

[shadowcat5]

Of all the things that have disappointed me about adult life (and there are many …) the fact that work is just like school is probably one of the worst. I cannot stand workplace cliques and I don’t think I’ve ever worked in a place that doesn’t have them.

There’s always that moment when you realise that you’ll probably never really progress somewhere simply because your face doesn’t fit and no matter how hard you work or how much you take on, you’re never going to be part of that ‘in’ group who seem to float though the workplace and get a promotion every six months without really doing anything. It’s like being back at secondary school and having that realisation that it doesn’t matter how often they ask you for help with their homework, you are never, ever going to be allowed to be one of the cool kids. So much talent and ability gets wasted in the workplace when it is cliquish - companies wonder why they have issues when they literally have a string of people who I’ll only promote people who are exactly like them …

spot on. It's so disheartening to leave school where you were outcast and realise that you enter into a work place that's the same thing. It's literally happened everywhere I go, uni was the same. The problem is obviously me

 

[CatCafe234]

spot on. It's so disheartening to leave school where you were outcast and realise that you enter into a work place that's the same thing. It's literally happened everywhere I go, uni was the same. The problem is obviously me

I think a lot of people feel like that but I think it’s more that so many institutions are built around certain personality types - I’ve also worked in teams where you have a senior person who employs someone like them for a more junior role and it trickles down and you create a situation where anyone different just can’t thrive. I was actually recruited to a team once because they’d done some analysis on the team dynamics and it had been flagged that the issues they were having were because they lacked certain types of people - unfortunately there was no support for a different type of leadership, the issues continued and I got sick of trying to sort out problems that nobody would acknowledge existed and left.

I know some people think that stuff like MBTI is absolute hokum (astrology for people with a LinkedIn profile …) but I think it can genuinely be quite liberating to acknowledge that there are different kinds of personalities that need different things to thrive - as the saying goes, the hot water that softens the potato also boils the egg … You obviously can’t change the world to fit yourself and we all have to compromise but you can learn to stop blaming yourself so much for not fitting in to somewhere that isn’t designed for that in the first place.

 

[WilmaHun]

I'll send an email around about a change of process. A week later a staff member will ask me "how do I do this?" I'll refer them to said email of last week and they'll say "I didn't read that" or "oh I forgot about that" or "nobody told me"

Fucks me off.

 

[mee43]

Completely agree with all of the above. I come home sometimes so exhausted because I’m trying to say and do all the right things and not look like I’m stuck up or aloof.
The truth is I’ve been excruciatingly shy all my life and people pick up all the wrong signs from you when you’re like that. Especially when you’re at an age when you’re expected to have “grown out of it”.
At my new place there are very few people who make an effort to draw newcomers in. The only thing that hides the cliquey-ness is the fact that most of the time it’s as quiet as the grave because the managers sit in the same room and frown on any chatter.
Add to that the control freakishness of the place and those in charge changing their minds more times than they change their socks and it doesn’t make a great experience

I'll send an email around about a change of process. A week later a staff member will ask me "how do I do this?" I'll refer them to said email of last week and they'll say "I didn't read that" or "oh I forgot about that" or "nobody told me"

Fucks me off.

Ha! My OH has just told me not to be stupid because a company I emailed this morning came to me in less than an hour and I was going to send a nice message back thanking them for reading it and responding so quickly
I honestly believe that most people don’t bother opening their inboxes any more

 

[shadowcat5]

Completely agree with all of the above. I come home sometimes so exhausted because I’m trying to say and do all the right things and not look like I’m stuck up or aloof.
The truth is I’ve been excruciatingly shy all my life and people pick up all the wrong signs from you when you’re like that. Especially when you’re at an age when you’re expected to have “grown out of it”.
At my new place there are very few people who make an effort to draw newcomers in. The only thing that hides the cliquey-ness is the fact that most of the time it’s as quiet as the grave because the managers sit in the same room and frown on any chatter.
Add to that the control freakishness of the place and those in charge changing their minds more times than they change their socks and it doesn’t make a great experience



Ha! My OH has just told me not to be stupid because a company I emailed this morning came to me in less than an hour and I was going to send a nice message back thanking them for reading it and responding so quickly
I honestly believe that most people don’t bother opening their inboxes any more

I could have wrote this myself. My brain is constantly like ' dont be weird, dont say this, dont say that'. I have a check up meeting with my manager tomorrow and i was thinking about mentioning but i don't know what to say really. All the advice us going to be is give it time because I only just started. I don't see it getting better though

 

[JOHN1967]

Completely agree with all of the above. I come home sometimes so exhausted because I’m trying to say and do all the right things and not look like I’m stuck up or aloof.
The truth is I’ve been excruciatingly shy all my life and people pick up all the wrong signs from you when you’re like that. Especially when you’re at an age when you’re expected to have “grown out of it”.
At my new place there are very few people who make an effort to draw newcomers in. The only thing that hides the cliquey-ness is the fact that most of the time it’s as quiet as the grave because the managers sit in the same room and frown on any chatter.
Add to that the control freakishness of the place and those in charge changing their minds more times than they change their socks and it doesn’t make a great experience



Ha! My OH has just told me not to be stupid because a company I emailed this morning came to me in less than an hour and I was going to send a nice message back thanking them for reading it and responding so quickly
I honestly believe that most people don’t bother opening their inboxes any more

I often do thank them if I think they have been especially efficient, it costs nothing, and I am sure they will be happy.

 

[Tanne1999]

Same manager that was homophobic yesterday has just asked me to come and sit with her so she can teach me how to do a certain task.

I asked if I’ll ever be doing said task in my employment, she said no because it’s her role. I told her I have my own tasks to get on with and a deadline to reach, and now she’s sulking.

I don’t see the point in wasting an hour sat at her desk being talked through something I don’t need to know. No wonder she’s three months behind on her own tasks