Final one - this is back to Question 3: “Are you still planning to prosecute those terrible trolls and the ex?
“And then with the ex, so that's still a process that you even know, like I was on your bed crying about it yesterday. It's just a process. Like until I genuinely feel physically safe, which I don't know that I ever will, until I mean, I'm sure that I can and I will.
I'm undecided because when you are dealing with a narcissistic, violent man, when you, and this is why I'm going to have someone on the podcast and the expert, and I'll talk about my story when I feel like, not when I feel like, when I feel like the expert can offer advice on the spot to someone still in the situation, which I have women stop me on the street and disclose information, and then I help, you know, have to help set up safe plans for them. So I know with my platform and my podcast, if I start to tell my story and I'm a lucky survivor, I just don't want a woman to then try and do what I did, and it fail and she die, because I could have very well died that night. So I honestly thought I was going “to because he just disappeared, like a demon took over.
So it's just different with him in the sense that if I then start to prosecute and pursue the criminal charges of which the cop at the time, you were in the station said there's like several independent criminal charges that I could take against him. I'm antagonizing a narcissistic violent man. And what happened yesterday was I read the story about a girl in Australia, another one who walked outside of her gym and her ex was waiting for her and he stabbed her in the neck and the heart and the back or something, but three stab wounds to try and kill her and she's blessedly alive.
But I was sobbing on the bed to you and I was like, this is a genuine fear that I live with daily. Like, so, and criminally, yes, he could then go to jail, but right now, our court systems are fucked. And so most perpetrators could get five months potentially, but be let out after three on good behaviour in prison, and then he's back out on the street and I've pissed him off, I've
bleeping put a criminal, so “so yeah, it's just, it is so multifaceted, but it's such a good question.
I'm glad you picked that one, because people have to understand the depth of DV and how so multifaceted and layered it is. And it's not, so when other women who sit back on the couch and go, I would never be in that, or which I understand, and or why doesn't she just press charges? Oh, because it's like,
duck you, you think about your life every single day.
And do you want to like, do I then also want to sit in court and face him on day after day after day at trial?
No. Yeah, no one's going in there on your behalf to fight all of those fights for you. So you're constantly living in it all of the time when you've, you're still moving through it, but you have this beautiful life that is worth celebrating and worth living in, living in the present and living that, like to not miss the point of life and to sit in those environments.
Maybe that's the decision you choose to make and you'll be supported undeniably if that's the road that you go “down. But ultimately you have to be the one that's like, this is my fight and this is the hill I'm going to die on. And I am not backing down.
And I, this is my decision.
And on that, which I love. Yes. Thank you, Bestie.
Is what sprung up from that is it is my fight, but I've kind of taken that on board as like, it's my fight nationally. So when you got here, I was like, sis, I got my plan. You're like, what?
And I was like, I'm calling this senator's office. I'm going to call this senator's office. I'm going to ask them what lessons did they learn when they did this?
And I'm going to petition the government. I'm going to do, it's true, right? So this is, and I was like, just amongst all the other things.
So as much as like, will I potentially prosecute my ex? He has already been prosecuted with the VRO, which was really important. And the cops pushed this so hard for me.
We will do an episode on this because like the different, bigger than my story, like kind of the process of what I “what I went through, because I get so many questions as well, women coming to me in my inbox saying, what did that process look like? Because I'm in that and I want to get out of that, but I'm so terrified and I don't know where to start. I'm like, you get your bestie and you go to the cops.
But because also I had reached out when all of this was happening, because there was a good few months there where I was still very involved in your life and I had no idea what was going on. You told me when your lip got split, you told me you got hit by a basketball or something. And I was like, okay, yeah, sure.
You probably were out playing basketball one day. Like I'm not with you every day.
She was not playing basketball.
And then when it happened, I was like, oh, we're doing this and we're doing it now. And unfortunately, I had another one of my best friends have gone through this before and have had to flee the other side of the country. And so I rang her and because she had had someone “that helped guide her on what to do.
And so she was the one that told us to go down that path, which was phenomenal because it wasn't Anna Rose versus the ex. It was Anna Rose. It was Queensland Police versus the ex, which is the best position that we were told to be in.
And it was, it ended up being the best. So we'll do a whole other set on that. But no, so it is a fight for me.
And I think the fight now is not, I think, the fight now for me amongst all of this, and I'm still in my decision-making process, is I want to petition the government, and I have to do it very like smartly, which is like reopening inquiry, I think, into, because like I could go before a judge. This is my piss off. I could go before a judge and it could go to trial, but that judge and police officer and like, and policy, everyone involved could be a violent sex offender or be a man that is angry and violent towards women.
And so be like, you know, in his head, in the back “in the back of his head, be like, so what? You know, this happens every day. Like until you've been in court and you've dealt with judges and police officers, you cannot imagine the level of insanity that ensues
And so there is currently a list of 28 high profile judges, police officers, and even an ex prime minister in a suppressed list. They're pedophiles, ultimately. They're men that have committed violence towards women.
I want those men publicly outed and drained from the court systems and the police systems. Then let's see what I do. So that's my fire.”
---
What does she mean it was her fault? She was a CHILD?! I need some context here because without context this sounds very alarming.
NOTE : Discussion of child sexual abuse below
Here's the transcript of her answering the question for context
“Look, I've got another really deep question here.
Okay, let's go.
And I just think while we're in this conversation, let's just go there. And then we can maybe start to come into some some light. Do you ever blame your parents for your sexual abuse as a child?
You really picked the spicy ones. We love you. Absolutely not.
No one's ever actually asked me this question. Absolutely not. And I can unequivocally say with every cell in my being, even as a child, no, I never...
And I can talk about it again. We'll have to put a trigger warning at the front of this. I feel like I just come with the trigger warning.
Don't come to Anything Goes if you ain't ready for it.”
“But when I was younger as well, what happens in my experience anyway, and I have spoken to many women who have also experienced sexual violence towards them, is that you carry the shame. And why we don't really speak about it is because we carry so much shame. So my journey and experience with being a child that had been assaulted for 10 years, ultimately, I never spoke up.
So I blame myself. I didn't blame my parents. Now, I actually thought...
I've done a whole episode on this. And so if you've listened to that, you know my story. But at one point, I was convinced that this was just normal.
This is just how it goes. I am always unsafe. My parents would have to know.
My dad was not in my life. It was my evil stepfather and my beautiful mum. But yeah, I just was like, they must know.
So I just... At one point as well, and I still never blamed them. I was never like, this is their fault.”
“I was like, what fucked me up for several steps, like until my adulthood, until I healed it, was like, why didn't I say anything? Right? And that was, I was, I held so much shame around that.
And so...
Because you're a child with an underdeveloped brain. Correct.
Yeah, we'll put that there. Yeah, but also you're threatened. You're coerced.
Yeah, it becomes normal. He was, he groomed me since I was a newborn. So groomed my mum and then got access to me.
So no, I didn't. That's such a beautiful, beautifully heartbreaking question to ask. And for me to heal all of that, so go back and listen to the podcast I've done on that.
But if that's something, if that question was asked because, or if you are yourself, someone that does still hold anger or resentment towards someone else, it is honestly that whole quote of like, it's like drinking poison still and expecting the other person to die. So for me with all of, yeah, that's how I envision it as well. So it's like you're drinking the poison.
So it's poisoning your insides, your soul, your mind, your body, but doing it because “it because you're angry at them. And it's like they've hurt you, parent, abuser, whatever, and expecting them to die. So I just went to the side of the wound, which was my wounds, and healed it all.
So I don't hold resentment even now, or anger or hurt. Good question.”
