Am i wrong for this?

[uglybettybetty]

Hi all! So I’ve been with my partner for around 6 months. We are really close, and actually we’re planning to go away somewhere in the UK for a getaway once lockdown eases! Now, he has a close friend who I’ve met once so far, he’s an alright guy. Found him a bit quiet and a tad bit weird but apart from that he’s an alright guy. He asked my partner if he could come with us. I found it really weird as he hasn’t got a girlfriend, so it would just be him with us two? Also considering it would be our first “holiday” together I didn’t want him coming. My partner luckily told him hed ask me first, I said I don’t want his friend to come. Afterwards I felt bad like maybe I should’ve just let him come? But then at the same time I’m glad I said what I felt! Ah! Let me know, do you think I was rude for saying I didn’t want him coming? My partner agreed and said it was weird for his friend to come with us...

Edit: I’d be totally fine if it wasn’t the first time! But it’ll be the first time me and my partner go away so I felt like it would be quite strange... any other time I’d think yeah sure! maybe I’m just antisocial but I’d rather it be just my partner and I tbh

 

[Bobbleowl90]

It’s weird. I’d not want to gate crash a couples holiday!

 

[newtoyou]

It would be weird the first time and any time after that! A day out, fine, but a whole holiday? Weird and awkward!

 

[Curlywurly85]

Totally right to say no!

 

[jarv]

Nope you're definitely in the right here, It's a bit surprising he even asked tbh!

 

[Pixipoppy]

No, you’re right it’s strange. If there was a group of you, or he was also bringing a partner it would be less so... but just him third wheeling your first holiday together.. nah

 

[BettyCrocker]

It’s very very weird. The fact that the friend asked is weird but it’s also a bit odd that your boyfriend didn’t just tell him no when he asked.... all very odd.

 

[Barbie2020]

Weird! No other way of putting it

 

[Ilando]

100% weird. Definitely lock your bedroom door if you do decide to let him join you on holiday

 

[Alexaj]

Maybe you should plan a day trip for the three of you too? Keep him onside? When I was single, I used to hang out with my bff and her bf quite a lot... But it did NOT extend to trips away I might add!

 

[Lulu Goss]

I would have said no too. It’s weird that he’d want to come on holiday with you, why would he want to third wheel a first holiday?

 

[Penguinandthepinecone]

Maybe your boyfriend has holidayed with him before, and his friend has this vision that it’d just be like that with the ‘new girlfriend’ tagging along. Especially as we’ve been in lockdown he might have no idea that you’re a serious couple having a couples holiday. Also your boyfriend might be looking out for his mate, who might have been very isolated during lockdown if he’s been single. I wouldn’t want anyone joining my holiday either, but maybe you could plan a couple of day trips at different points in the future and make it clear he’s welcome to join you on those instead...might be easier for your boyfriend to break the bad news too if he can make some alternative suggestions to his mate. Always better to have a boyfriend who is happy to have you close to his friends and let them get to know you, rather than one who doesn’t let you near them and almost leads two lives keeping you as hidden as possible

 

[skintsocks]

It is a strange situation. He probably hasn't thought it through and realised it's your first couple break. Perhaps suggest something else the three of you can do at another time so that they aren't upset, and you still get your time together.

 

[uglybettybetty]

It’s very very weird. The fact that the friend asked is weird but it’s also a bit odd that your boyfriend didn’t just tell him no when he asked.... all very odd.

I do agree, it’s very weird! I think perhaps my partner just didn’t want to be awkward or upset him maybe? Idk! But I think maybe the friend is quite lonely and gets down about not having a girlfriend. I would’ve been way more annoyed if my partner agreed without telling me, so I’m relieved he asked me

 

[Deepsigh2018]

I would have said no too it would just be a weird awkward dynamic on the holiday. I'm confused why his friend would even want to be the third wheel on your holiday.

 

[uglybettybetty]

It would be weird the first time and any time after that! A day out, fine, but a whole holiday? Weird and awkward!

Very! Really glad I shared it here as I was feeling like a witch for even saying no, but it would’ve been really awkward and not only that but I feel as though something special like that should only be between my partner and I..... I think perhaps it’s just ignorance on the friends part. He’s quite a dopey lad

 

[HowlOwl]

I have actually been on holiday with a couple. I think the boyfriend felt sorry for me. I lived in a shared house where his girlfriend also lived. It was all pretty awkward to be honest, I wish I’d said no. His girlfriend definitely resented me being there.

Sorry, I don’t know if that’s of any help for your situation! - but that’s how it felt from the perception of a gooseberry.

 

[Raininvain]

Maybe he was mistaken and thought a few people were going, which then it would be o.k to ask.
Otherwise who would want to go on holiday with a couple if you are a single person?, no one in their right mind.
What a gooseberry.

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

I don’t think it’s weird, he’s probably just lonely and has probably spent the best part of a year alone and is as desperate as anyone to get away. So I’d be sympathetic. But I’d agree, it’s your first holiday and you should enjoy it as a couple. Maybe suggest something as an alternative. Not everyone has someone and lots of people have been incredibly lonely over the lockdown

 

[Definitelyme]

I think it’s weird to invite yourself along on anybody’s holiday, never mind if it’s a couple or not. I would never just invite myself along/ask could I go along on a friend’s holiday. If they wanted you there they’d have invited you, surely?

Peculiar business. I imagine your OH felt put on the spot, which is why he didn’t say no straight away.